If We Ever Meet Again
by pattyrose
Summary: High School for geeky Edward was a nightmare of mistakes, missed opportunities & insecurity issues. Six years later when fate hands him a second chance, will he know how to take it? Or will the insecure boy inside rear his head again? AH, E&B, Canon pairs
1. Chapter 1 Some Kind of Wonderful

**A/N: Here we go again guys. **

**As TIWIA wraps up, a new story begins.**

**This will be M rated for language, and eventually, some material. I will give fair warning when it comes to that.**

**First few chapters will be background info.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing around with them. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 – Some Kind of Wonderful<strong>

**EPOV**

**Six and a half years ago:**

"Yo Crusty Cullen, you planning on taking some lucky girl to senior prom next week?" Mike snickered from the seat behind me.

We were in Mr. Molina's Bio class, waiting for it to start, and while I had my head down, buried in my notes and reviewing for today's exam, Mike and his cronies, Tyler and Eric laughed and joked behind me.

My body stiffened and my fists tightened under the table at the sound of Mike's nickname for me, but I kept my head down and ignored him.

_Only two more weeks, only two more weeks,_' I chanted quietly to myself, bringing one fisted hand up to push my glasses back to the top of my nose with my forefinger.

"Hey Crusty, didn't you hear me?" Mike continued. "What's the matter, all that zit pus clogging your ears?"

Eric and Tyler chuckled.

I turned around, raising my fisted hands to the top of my desk.

"Shut the fuck up Newton," I growled in a low voice.

"Whoa!" Mike laughed, jerking back while Eric and Tyler made similar noises in their seats to the side of him. "Looks like Crusty's about to blow. Watch out everyone, unless you want pus raining down all over you."

Some of the kids around us made disgusted noises. I started to get up, my fisted hands at my sides, the fact that in a couple of weeks I'd never have to look at Mike or his cronies' faces again completely forgotten.

I was going to pummel him.

"Mike, stop being such a jerk," a soft voice called out from the desk to my left. "Leave Edward alone."

That voice.

That voice immediately broke through my fury, piercing my heart like no other voice ever had.

Bella.

Mike and his asshole friends completely forgotten, I turned to look at her. She smiled at me softly, kindly, and my hands immediately un-fisted and I smiled back at her, wishing I'd had the balls to ask her out at some point throughout my high school career.

"Don't listen to them Edward," she said in her beautiful, melodic voice, her rich chocolate eyes gazing at me tenderly. "They're just immature jerks." She narrowed her eyes and turned them towards Mike.

Unfortunately, Mike Newton, Forks High School's all-star jock, also had a thing for Bella. And although she'd turned him down time and again, I feared it was only a matter of time until she gave in and said yes to him.

And it was this fear that had finally convinced me, Edward Cullen, Forks High School's reigning pimple-faced four-eyed lanky geek, to finally ask her out. I was leaving for college soon, and it was my last chance. And besides, at least if she said no, I'd only have to bare the humiliation for one short week, instead of the two years of humiliation I would've had to endure if I'd asked her out the first time I saw her, almost two years ago when she arrived in Forks as a high school freshman, when I was a junior.

With Bella's chocolate eyes no longer on me and the spell they cast broken, I turned back to face Newton.

"For your information asshole, I am asking someone to prom."

Mike started to laugh, but then looked at Bella and stopped. He knew she had a kind heart, and he knew laughing at me would only make her dislike him more. His lips twitching, he turned back to me.

"Really? Good for you man! May I ask who the lucky girl is?"

His eyes narrowed and quickly, almost undiscernibly, flashed towards Bella.

Newton knew. He knew how I felt about her. After two years of following me around to taunt and humiliate me at every turn, he'd caught me looking at her. He'd seen the way my admittedly pimply face lit up whenever she was around, the way my four-eyes followed her around whatever room she was in, the way my skinny, lanky limbs trembled whenever I was in her presence.

But he also knew that Bella was one of the few people in this crappy school that had ever been kind to me, that was my friend even. And he knew being an asshole to me around her wouldn't win him any brownie points with her. So it was a rare moment – like just a few seconds ago – when he actually showed his true colors around her.

"None of your fucking business," I hissed, and turned around, slinking back into my seat. My eyes turned up to Bella. She was watching me and when our eyes met, she smiled at me again, nodding once, as if to congratulate me for being the bigger man. My heart swelled with joy as I gazed into her beautiful dark eyes.

Just then Mr. Molina walked in, and Bella quickly turned around to face the front.

It was then that Mike leaned into his seat, hissing close to my ear, "Keep dreaming crusty asshole. She'll never say yes to you."

My heart, swollen up with joy just a couple of seconds ago, shrank in resignation.

OOOOOOOOOO

Newton's words rang in my head on the drive home from school that afternoon.

'_She'll never say yes to you.'_

'_She'll never say yes to you.'_

I sighed, turning up the volume on my stereo to drown my sorrows. Unfortunately the song currently playing only made me think more of Bella.

'…_and so I'd like to say before I go_

_that I just want you to know_

_I found a reason for me to change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new. And the reason is you._

_I found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know_

_A reason for all that I do. And the reason is you.'_

Since the day I'd first set eyes on Isabella Swan at the beginning of my junior year, I'd been hooked. She'd walked into Ms. Cope's English class one morning, having just moved to Forks from Phoenix, where she'd lived with her mom. The rumor mill around the small school already had all the 411 on her by the time she'd walked into school that morning.

Her mom had re-married, and wanting to travel around the country with her minor-league baseball playing husband, she'd sent Bella to live with her dad, Forks' Chief of Police, Charlie Swan. I'd listened to the gossip quietly all morning, not really very interested. I had other things on my mind. I'd never been what you might call a popular kid; mostly quiet, into my schoolwork more than anything. I didn't play any sports – at least not in school. My dad and me, and my older brother Emmett liked tossing around footballs and baseballs in our spare time. But the jocks in school were assholes, and I'd decided early on I didn't want to even try to be on teams with them. So I was definitely a few levels removed from the upper echelons of the high school elite.

And if that wasn't enough to mark me as one of the less important citizens of the Forks High population back then, in the past few months, my face had begun to break out. My dad, a doctor at the small hospital in this town, had reassured me that it was no big deal; that I was probably just under some sort of teen hormonal stress, and that the problem would clear up in a few weeks; a couple of months at the most.

Well a few weeks passed, then a few months, and the problem just grew worse and worse. I tried everything; Clearasil, Oxy. My dad got me a prescription for some stronger meds. Nothing. I started walking around with my head down, my shoulders bowed, so that no one would see my face. Unfortunately, most high school kids aren't known for their discretion, or for their kindness, and so the whispers and snickers started.

And then one day, sitting in the middle of Math class, Mike had penned my current nickname. Crusty Cullen.

But no. The Gods weren't done punishing me for whatever sins I'd apparently committed in my past life. Because about six months after my facial problems started, the required eye exam for my driver's license turned up that I had the eyesight of a fucking bat. The eye doctor told my dad he had no idea how I'd gotten this far without glasses. I threatened my parents I'd never wear them as they drove me into Port Angeles to pick out a pair. Fuck, that's all I needed to complete my poster-boy impersonation of a typical geek. But they counter-threatened.

No glasses, no driving.

Finally, to add insult to extreme injury, I had a serious growth spurt over the summer before senior year. In two months, I went from five foot nine to a little over six feet tall. Unfortunately, my dexterity didn't keep up with my growth, and my height became the last ingredient in the recipe that made up Edward Cullen, Nerd Extraordinaire.

But back to the first day Bella walked in to class.

By then, I had two of the three main ingredients that made up ECNE (Edward Cullen Nerd Extraordinaire, remember? Close to 'ACNE.' Pretty clever of me, huh?)

I was sitting with my head down, as had become my habit, when I felt a strange tingling in the pit of my stomach. The tingling grew stronger, like butterflies flying around, but not just in my stomach anymore, _all over_ inside of me, until I felt as if my heart were about to burst out of my chest from the intensity of the feeling. And then I looked up.

You know those 1980's teen movies?

My brother Emmett likes to watch them when he comes home for weekends from UDub. In these movies, when the hot girl walks in, everything moves in slow motion. A fan out of the camera's eye blows the girl's hair back while she shakes her head from side to side. A wide, knowing smile graces her beautifully made up face. And you know she's going to trample over some poor bastard's heart before the movie is even half way through.

Well it was something like that.

Except Bella walked in with her head down, and then she tripped on some invisible object in her path as she walked up the narrow pathway to her desk, steadying herself with one hand over one of the desks. Her long brown hair was up in a messy ponytail, and the only hair-blowing came from her own lips as she tried to blow a few stray strands out of her face before gnawing on her lip so furiously that I was sure it would be bleeding by the time she sat down.

But the slow motion thing? Yeah, that sure as hell happened. In my eyes, at least.

And the trampled heart? Well, it wasn't so much trampled, but it was sure as fuck stolen before she even sat down.

I'd turned around in my seat, mesmerized by the sight of her, no longer aware or concerned with whether anyone was looking at me. And then suddenly she looked up and our eyes met, and I knew I'd never seen such beautiful, expressive eyes in all my sixteen years on this planet. Her tense shoulders seemed to visibly relax, and she smiled at me. A soft, shy smile.

That's when I knew for sure that Isabella Swan - the mysterious girl from Arizona – would always own my heart.

The truth was, Bella probably wouldn't have been cast as the lead exotic beauty in one of those teen flicks. She probably would've been the exotic beauty's best friend; the one who sat around and patted the beauty's shoulder sympathetically when the evil hot guy dumped the hot girl. The one who offered up the good advice that finally got the hot beauty to realize the hot guy was no good for her, and that her less-handsome-and-slightly-dorky best guy friend was the one to go for.

She had those girl next door looks, dark hair, dark eyes, five foot four (at least, that's what I'd put her at over the past couple of years of staring at her), cute figure without the huge tits or ass many guys went for. But it was her personality that set her miles above any other girl in this school. Any other girl in this town. Any other girl in this _universe,_ as far as I was concerned.

From day one, she'd been nice to me. At lunch time that first day, she'd already walked in with Jessica Stanley at her side, talking Bella's ear off a mile a minute. And although I thought I detected a mildly frustrated expression on her face, Bella listened intently to Jessica - smiling and nodding or shaking her head in all the right places. Within a few minutes, Mike and Tyler and Eric had joined Bella and Jessica at their table. I'd immediately seen, from where I sat alone at my own table, that Mike had set his eyes on her. The way he watched her, the way he pumped up his status as school jock, showing off his crappy-ass maroon and yellow letterman jacket like it was spooled out of pure gold or some shit. I'd watched it all through lowered eyes, smirking and wishing I had the balls to go up to her and introduce myself. To talk to her. To find out her thoughts, her secrets, her biggest dreams and desires.

And then halfway through lunch, she'd suddenly looked up and straight at me, as if she'd heard her name. As if my constant thoughts of her had been spoken aloud. I remember I'd been startled and my first instinct had been to look down, embarrassed to have been caught staring. But once again, she'd smiled at me sweetly. Jessica had followed her line of vision and had seen her looking at me. She'd smiled a colder, crueler smile and leaned in to whisper something in Bella's ear. Whatever it was made Bella frown and purse her lips, and then suddenly she was walking towards me, ignoring Jessica and Mike and the rest who looked on at her in shock, calling her back to them.

I'd frozen in my seat, unable to look away, unable to chew the bit of pizza currently in my mouth. In five seconds she'd been standing in front of me.

"Hi." With that one simple word it was as if the choirs of heaven had opened up and started singing to me.

I'd forced the un-chewed pizza in my mouth down my throat.

"Hi," I'd replied simply, my voice hoarse and low. I'd swallowed thickly as I stared at her, spellbound by her eyes.

"I'm Isabella Swan. Well, Bella. Everyone calls me Bella." I'd nodded, unable to say anything else.

"You're Edward?" she asked after realizing I wasn't going to say anything.

Again, I'd just nodded.

"It's nice to meet you," she'd continued, putting her hand out. I'd stared at it for a few seconds before realizing she was waiting for me to shake it.

I'd cleared my throat and forced myself to reach up for her hand.

A thousand sparks exploded inside of me the second my hand came in contact with hers. Scorching heat traveled up my arm and to every extremity in by body.

My eyes grew wide, but I forced myself to speak through my shock. "Nice to meet you too."

Bella's eyes widened too, and for a split second I'd let myself believe that maybe she'd felt the strange sparks also.

"You're in a couple of my classes," she said in a shy voice. I'd been surprised to know she'd noticed that.

I'd nodded again, but then realizing I was still holding on to her hand like a fucking weirdo, I'd dropped it quickly. She frowned slightly. Scared she'd realize what a basket case I was and lose interest and leave, I made myself speak again.

"English and Math. You're brainy I guess." I visibly cringed as I finished. _Good going Cullen, those are the types of lines that drive the girls crazy. Emmett would be proud_.

But Bella was only a freshman. The fact that she was in my English and Math classes meant she was taking advanced classes for her grade.

Still, as stupid as my words had been, they'd elicited the most beautiful reaction from her. She'd blushed, from her neck all the way up to the top of her forehead, the most wonderful, mesmerizing pink color.

"Yeah, I guess," she'd murmured, looking down. "Looks like you're pretty smart yourself, the way you answered those questions in Algebra class."

She'd heard my answers?

I shrugged. "Got nothing else to do but study." I smiled up at her wryly.

She smiled back, her dark eyes twinkling. "Well you know maybe" – she swallowed – "maybe one of these days, uhm" she stammered "if you have time, you can help me catch up in Algebra? We were working on some different stuff in Phoenix and I'm not sure if I understand what we're doing now."

_Aah_.

So that's what this had all been about. Bella was obviously a smart girl, and it hadn't taken her long to figure out her new buddies would be of no help in the schoolwork department. So she'd forced herself to speak to the resident geek.

But fuck it. I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Yeah, sure," I'd agreed quickly. "Whenever you want to go over anything, you just let me know."

The sound of a chair raking loudly across the linoleum made me glance behind Bella, where I found her new friends watching us curiously. Mike had pulled a chair and sat straddling it, and when he caught my gaze he flipped me the bird before quickly bringing his hands to his face and pretending he was popping a pimple with two fingers. From my periphery I could see the rest of the group burst out into fits of laughter. I stiffened, my jaw locking in place.

Bella saw my shift in expression and slowly turned around, which gave Mike and the rest of his asshole friends enough time to turn towards each other, as if they'd just been laughing at some innocent, private joke.

The buzz I'd felt by her unexpected visit was quickly killed, and when she turned back to me, the first words out of my mouth were,

"I guess you should be getting back to your new friends."

She raised her brows, as if surprised by my dismissal. "Alright Edward," she said in a low voice. "I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah, see ya," I muttered before looking away from her, back down at my cold lunch and open book.

Out of my periphery, I saw her stand there for a few more seconds, as if she wanted to say something else, but then abruptly she turned around and left.

Over the next few months, Bella and I slowly became friends. Almost every day she'd take her lunch time walk over to me for a few minutes, and although at first the conversations were awkward and I was always too chicken shit to ask her to sit, that didn't deter her. We'd both show up to classes a few minutes early, and at first I did help her out with Algebra, even though I wasn't sure why she'd needed my help in the first place. She'd catch on so quickly you would've thought she could've caught on like that when the teacher first explained it. And then after a while, when she felt comfortable enough with Algebra, we'd just talk about mundane things, our favorite bands, our families. My music. Her art.

See, Bella was an artist.

Well, she didn't consider herself an artist, but I did. She'd told me once during one of our earliest conversations that she liked to doodle, and I told her I'd like to see her doodles someday. She'd blushed (she had a habit of doing this, which I absolutely adored) and said she didn't really show her doodles; she was too embarrassed. That's when I'd confessed to her that I liked to write music, that I'd make up lyrics in my head and then try them out on my beat up guitar. And that wasn't something I usually told _anyone_, much less showed anyone. Only my family knew about it, and even among them it wasn't very often I'd play them something.

But nevertheless, the next day I'd sat down next to her, pulled out a sheet of paper, and with trembling hands, handed it to Bella.

"What is this…?" she'd asked with a puzzled smile, taking the paper from me, and then her eyes had grown wide when she'd realized it was lyrics to a song. She'd studied the paper carefully, her lips moving around the words silently. We were outside at lunchtime, sitting on one of the few tables along the quad. Here in Forks, it wasn't very often we got to hang out outdoors. But this day, the clouds had taken a break and the cool Washington sun was shining down on us.

I watched her in rapt amazement for a few seconds, mesmerized at the sight of her mouth moving around my lyrics, until embarrassment had taken over and I'd looked away, letting her finish and kicking myself for having shown it to her in the first place. She probably hated it.

"Edward, you _wrote_ this?" I thought I heard pure awe in her voice, and when I whipped my head back to her, she was watching me through dazzled brown eyes.

"Yeah," I'd mumbled, feeling stupid all of a sudden.

Bella had bitten her lip and then turned her eyes back to the piece of paper clutched tightly in her hand. "I'd like to hear it someday," she'd whispered finally.

I'd swallowed thickly, wishing I had the balls to tell her I'd written the words for her, that it was about how she made me feel, that she'd inspired the music that went with the words. Instead, I just said,

"Sure. One of these days," knowing that I'd never have the nerve to really go through with it. Bella had nodded. Just then, Jessica had called her from a few feet away.

Bella's friends had slowly gotten used to the idea that for some strange reason, Bella wanted to be _my_ friend too. So they'd give her a few minutes with me, and then when they grew impatient, they'd call her back to them. They never came within more than a few feet of us though.

"Coming Jess," Bella had answered with a roll of her eyes. She'd looked over at me apologetically. "I- I gotta go, Jessica's waiting for me."

"I know," I'd nodded. I'd already accepted the fact that time with Bella was borrowed time.

She'd hoisted her heavy back pack over her shoulder, and I'd wished for the thousandth time I could carry it for her. Before walking away she'd handed me back my lyrics and looked deep into my four eyes. Her chocolate pupils sparkled.

"Thank you for showing me this Edward." Her voice so full of emotion it pierced my heart.

I'd nodded, unable to respond. And then she'd started walking away, and I'd dropped my eyes to the ground.

Suddenly, blue Converse stood in front of me. I looked up to find Bella before me again. She met my gaze and then started rummaging through her back pack, a sigh of relief escaping her lips when she'd found whatever she was looking for.

"Bellaaa!" Jessica whined from a few feet away. "Come on!"

"Coming, coming!" Bella called out distractedly, pulling out whatever she'd been looking for from her back pack and handing it to me quickly.

"Don't show this to anyone Edward, okay?" Her brown eyes were open and trusting, and I'd immediately nodded, my hand holding on tightly to whatever she was giving me.

Quickly, she let go of the paper and walked away. I watched her until she disappeared around the quad with Jessica, Mike and the rest of his group waiting for them at the end.

Then I'd looked down at the paper, and gasped.

It was one of those heavier types of paper, the kind the art teacher made us use for our projects. Within the paper, Bella had created the most beautiful design. It was a harmonious swirl of all different shades of green, traced with a few lines of black and brown, and interspersed with a few shades of blue, even some swirls of yellow here and there. So beautiful; so artistic. And although I knew I'd never seen anything like it and I had _no idea_ _whatsoever_ what it was supposed to represent, there was something familiar about it, something recognizable; something that put my soul at ease.

No. Bella definitely wasn't a doodler.

Bella Swan was born to be an artist.

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews are like musical lyrics in my ear.**

**What are we thinking?**

**Any ideas what the design Bella gave Edward represents?**

**Hope you enjoyed this first chapter. The next one will be up in a couple of days.**


	2. Chapter 2  Real Genius

**A/N: Most chapters in this story will be in Edward's POV, so I won't write who's POV its in unless it's NOT in Edward's.**

**Characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect (for now) Edward.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 – Real Genius<strong>

_**Still**_** six and one half years ago:**

Even though I'd told Bella I'd play her that piece I wrote for her, here I was, a couple of weeks from graduating, and I still hadn't played it for her. Or any other piece for that matter. I lacked the balls necessary to ever invite her over. But I'd brought a couple of more pieces of my music to school to show her, and her eyes always grew wide in amazement when she'd look them over, like I was showing her the original copy of some Beatles lyrics or something. And I couldn't deny how that made me feel. She'd shared a few more pieces of her 'doodling' with me too; always different shapes and colors swirled and joined in some harmonious way.

I'd come to realize, over the past couple of years, that Bella really liked the color green. She'd used that green palette more than once in the pieces she'd shown me.

Then one night last week, I'd been lying down on my bed watching TV when I'd heard the doorbell ring downstairs. I hadn't paid it much mind, since it was rarely for me. When Emmett had been home, girls and guys had constantly been coming and going. But since he'd gone away to college, the house was usually silent.

A quiet knock on my door had startled me, and my mom opened the door without waiting for an answer. Her expression was both surprised and excited when she'd looked at me, but I'd been too pissed off at the interruption to pay that any mind.

"You know you could've waited for me to say 'come in,'" I smirked. "What if I'd been doing something inappropriate and shit?" I'd chided her without moving from my laid back position in the middle of my bed, my head propped over my folded arms and my legs bent at the knees and spread wide open.

Esme pursed her lips. "Edward, language."

"Sorry mom," I chuckled.

"Uhm...you have a visitor?"

And before I could sit up or even start to process her words, Bella Swan had moved in from behind the door.

I'd sat up quickly, the mattress bouncing and squeaking loudly under me. My eyes practically bulged out of their sockets at the shock of seeing her in _my_ house, in _my_ room.

_Here._ To see _me_.

Bella had smiled sweetly at me, and her face flushed that color she got whenever she was nervous or embarrassed. I'd quickly looked down at myself and offered a silent prayer of thanks to whoever was up there that I'd worn shorts and a tank tonight instead of lounging around in my boxer briefs, like I was prone to do when I was alone in my bedroom. Which was always.

"Bella?" I'd finally managed to murmur. Stupid thing to say, because obviously it was her. She'd waved shyly at me from where she stood, still on the threshold of my room. And like an idiot, I'd remained frozen to my spot on the bed, unable to move or say anything else.

My mother cleared her throat.

"I'll just leave you two…well" – she cleared her throat again – "let me know if you need anything." And with that she'd turned around with her hand still on the doorknob and closed the door half way.

We'd stayed that way for a couple of minutes, staring at each other, me frozen on my bed and Bella still as a statue right by the door, as if she were ready to bolt at any second. But then she'd taken a visible breath and looked around, taking my room in.

"So this is your room Edward," she'd murmured quietly, as if looking around had answered hundreds of questions for her. I looked around with her, taking in my tan walls and Greenday stickers and then cursing myself for never having gotten around to taking down my Star Wars posters. Emmett had warned me.

'_What fucking girl's gonna wanna ride you with a fucking green little jedi peaking down at you like a goddamned peeping tom?'_ he'd laughed last time he'd visited. I'd just snorted and ignored him. The little green guy on my wall was the least of the things keeping me from getting ridden.

I looked back at Bella. Her eyes continued to scan my room, biting her lip.

"What are you doing here Bella?" I asked, unable to hide the extreme surprise in my voice.

She blinked twice and then looked at me as if she'd forgotten I was there. She was wearing jeans, a dark hoodie and her Converse, and her hair was up in a messy pony tail; her usual look.

God I loved that look on her.

"I…I stopped by to say hi," she almost whispered. "Jessica and me and…you know…the rest, went to the movies tonight. It sucked so we left early and Mike dropped me off at home," I stiffened at the mention of Mike, but she didn't seem to notice, "but my curfew's not 'til ten, so instead of walking into my house I went for a walk and…here I am," she threw her hands up and shrugged sheepishly.

I stared at her, still unable to believe she was really here. Was this some sort of dream? But it couldn't be. Because if it was, she'd be here on the bed with me, under me, or over me, and she'd be wearing a lot less clothing, and the look on her face would be of utter ecstasy, not like she was getting ready to throw up, and I'd be licking-

"I could leave, if you'd prefer," she murmured. And then I realized I still hadn't moved from my position in the middle of the bed, and I hadn't asked her to move in closer, or to take a seat, or anything.

"No!" I said quickly, finally finding my muscle control and making myself rise from the bed slowly. "Would you like to" – my eyes moved purposely to the edge of the unmade bed – "have a seat?" I felt my face flush.

I'd just asked Bella to sit on my bed. On _my_ bed.

She bit her lip and nodded, moving slowly to the edge of the bed I'd signaled her to and sitting slowly and hesitantly, her eyes dancing around the room and landing on everything except me.

Bella Swan was on my bed. On my _bed_.

Well, she was just barely sitting on the edge of it, but still.

"Do you want…something to drink or something?" I ran my hand through my hair, remembering I'd just washed it and hadn't even tried to tame it afterwards. I probably looked like a lion.

"No thank you," she answered quietly. And then her eyes grew wide again as she caught sight of something that interested her, and in one leap she'd bounded off the edge of the bed and was kneeling in front of my black CD rack.

"Wow," she breathed in awe. "You have so much music." She pulled out a CD. "I love this." Her eyes trailed to the bookstand next to the CD rack, to a black frame encasing a drawing that had been given to me over a year ago. She tilted her head, studying the object in the frame as if she'd never seen it before, and then a small smile spread across her beautiful face and she picked up the frame carefully, standing up and turning to face me for the first time since she'd walked into my room.

"You kept this?" she asked incredulously.

I shrugged. "It'll probably be worth millions someday," I said with a small smile, trying to disguise my obvious display of adoration for the object with humor. But at the same time I felt strangely proud that she could see how much it meant to me.

She half-chuckled and looked down at the work of art she'd given me that day in school, her face coloring again.

"It'll never be worth the paper it was drawn on."

"Are you kidding me?" I asked her, coming to stand just a few inches away from her. Instinctively, I reached out and grabbed her wrist, tugging on her arm playfully. A thousand sparks coursed through my arm and spread throughout my body at the touch. I swallowed down any reaction.

"You're going to be a famous artist someday, mark my words. Your paintings are going to hang all over the fanciest galleries in the biggest cities."

Her eyes shot up to meet my gaze, and in them I could see the hope, the desire, and I let her see that I meant every word I'd said. Because I had. Every time I looked at that small painting, every time I'd looked at any one of the other paintings she'd shown me over the past couple of years, I'd been amazed that one person could create such beauty, such harmony in colors.

"You really think they're…decent?"

I was still holding her wrist, and she hadn't pulled away or made any move to indicate she wanted me to let go.

"I think they're light years beyond decent. Watch, someday the world will agree with me on that one."

She smiled then. A smile that lip up her entire face, that reached into her big brown eyes, swirling with burgundys and oranges, like fire. A smile that melted my heart.

I could've stood there, holding on to her wrist, for the rest of my days and died a happy man. But her curious eyes fell on another object, just behind me, and she did pull away, slowly, even reluctantly I lied to myself, and then walked to the opposite corner of my room, where my old beat up guitar waited, leaning against a corner. I watched her closely as she picked it up gingerly. She turned around and moved to my bed, sitting on the edge she'd sat on before and placing the guitar on her lap. With inexperienced fingers, she strummed a few disconnected chords. She looked up at me helplessly and I chuckled at the expression on her face.

"I know nothing about music," she apologized with a chuckle.

I snorted. "That's okay. Maybe…" I swallowed, "maybe I could teach you one day."

She studied me for a few seconds. "How? You're going…away to college soon."

I took a couple of steps and took a seat on the opposite corner of the bed, angling myself towards Bella carefully. She turned herself towards me too.

"I'll still be around for a bit longer," I offered. "And…I'll be back…for holidays and stuff."

She looked down and nodded, considering this. Abruptly, she raised her head and looked into my eyes again.

"I have a confession to make," she said softly.

My heart started beating wildly at her words, at the way she was looking at me, all innocence and determination at the same time. And though I knew in my mind her confession could _never_ be what I wished it would be, my heart and my physical reactions didn't know any better.

"I did have a reason for stopping by," she said.

"What was it?" I managed to ask, hating the way my voice cracked at the end.

"Well," she said, looking down at the guitar in her hands and strumming it softly again, "You told me once that you'd play for me, that song. The first one you showed me." She looked back up at me, and she seemed to be breathing hard. "You'll be leaving soon, and you still haven't played it for me." Her last words sounded like a whispered plea.

And as fucking scared and nervous as her request made me, I knew there was nothing I could've denied her then. If she would've asked me for the moon, I would've found a way to lasso that shit and given it to her.

With slow, deliberate movements, so that she could move away if she wanted to, I moved in closer to her, until I was sitting right at her side, our thighs barely touching. Wordlessly I reached over and took the guitar from her, our eyes locked on each other the entire time. She relinquished her hold on it gently.

My heart raced like a demon, my pulse sped like a racecar, and my blood pounded noisily between my ears. But I forced myself to push it all into the background, and cleared my throat. The words and the music came easily, almost instinctively. I'd played the song dozens of times to myself in this room since I'd first written it for her.

I looked down at the guitar and began.

_Hey pretty girl with the long brown hair  
><em>_When you smile it's almost more than I can bear  
><em>_Such a sweet face  
><em>_I wanna go any place with you, I do_

_Tell me what's on your mind  
><em>_Take my hand and we'll leave it all behind I swear  
><em>_Don't you know you own my heart  
><em>_I knew it from the start  
><em>_That I'd lost it all to you, its true_

_Hey pretty girl, don't you know you are my world?  
><em>_Don't you know you own my dreams?  
><em>_Hey pretty girl, come here give me a twirl  
><em>_I wanna spend each day with you, I do_

_Hey pretty girl with the long brown hair  
><em>_When you look at me I swear it's just not fair  
><em>_Your eyes reach into my soul  
><em>_I wanna let you know  
><em>_That I wanna go any place with you, I do_

_Hey pretty girl, don't you know you are my world?  
><em>_Don't you know you own my dreams?  
><em>_Hey pretty girl, come here give me a twirl  
><em>_I wanna spend each day with you, I do_

_I wanna spend each day with you, I do_

_I wanna spend each day with you, I do_

My fingers strummed the last of the chords quietly and then fell silent. For a long while, I kept my eyes on the guitar, not daring to look up. I was afraid; afraid to see boredom, or disgust, or any myriad of negative responses from Bella to this song. Because this was _her_ song. And anyone else in the world could've hated it and I wouldn't have given a damn. Emmett could've called it a pussy song and I would've shrugged it off. Mike could've laughed at me and I wouldn't have given one fuck. But this was _her_ song, even if she'd never know it. If _she_ hated it…

Finally, I forced myself to meet her gaze.

What I saw in her eyes almost took my breath away. Her chocolate eyes were glassy, full of emotion, and she was breathing in and out deeply. She gnawed at the inside of her lip furiously, to the point where I wanted to reach out and pull it out from between her teeth.

"That was…amazing," she finally breathed. "Even more beautiful than I could've ever imagined."

She liked it. She liked her song. My heart soared in my chest. I had to look away from her to restrain myself from dropping the guitar to the floor and taking _her_ in my arms instead.

I moved my eyes beyond her, to the dresser mirror up against the back wall; my flushed, pimply face and four eyes looked back at me through my reflection.

I heard Bella take a deep breath. "Edward…did you…was that…" – she swallowed – "is that song for anyone in particular?" she rushed out in one breath.

I gasped, horrified that I'd been so transparent. But of course I would be! How could I have expected to play her song to her and not let it show in my eyes that every word was about her?

Fuck! I cursed internally.

But…

But maybe I could tell her.

Maybe…

Maybe she wouldn't be disgusted or horrified to know that my world revolved around her, that she was the pretty girl with the long brown hair and that she owned my heart and my dreams.

And just as I opened my mouth to confess it all to her, my admiration, my affection, my desire, I caught sight of myself in the mirror again. The thick frames over my eyes, the angry red zits on my face, the thin lanky frame sticking out from my tank, the wild hair that refused to be tamed no matter what I did to it. I almost cringed at my own reflection.

_I_ couldn't stand to look at me. How could I expect anyone else to?

How could I ever expect Bella to see me as anything else than her dorky, geeky friend? She would run. She would run yelling and screaming and then I'd lose the best part of my life; her friendship. I couldn't risk it. I would lose too much.

You know those moments in your life when you look back and wonder how your life might've turned out differently if different words would've come out of your mouth at one specific moment?

This would always be one of those moments for me.

I looked Bella right in the eyes and smiled.

"'Course not. It's just something I came up with one night when I was bored." I shrugged.

Bella's face paled, no doubt in relief that Crusty Cullen hadn't been crushing on her. She bit her lip again, hard, and then looked down at her lap.

"Oh," she said simply. And then she looked back up at me again. Her face was strangely blank, expressionless; which was strange, because Bella always had some sort of expression on her beautiful face. It was part of what I loved about her; there was always something new to discover in her face.

"Well, it's a beautiful song," she said again, in a strangely detached voice that made me frown. "You're very talented Edward. Have you ever thought of trying to make music a career?"

I watched her, only half listening to her words as I tried to figure out why she seemed so distant all of a sudden.

"I don't know…" I answered, running a hand through my hair nervously. Something about her voice was off. "It's not a very realistic dream, is it?"

"Dreams aren't supposed to be realistic Edward, that's why they're called dreams," she answered coolly. "And besides, it's up to you to turn your dreams into reality." She wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Bella I…"

Just then a soft knock on my door startled us both.

"Bella," my mom asked in a gentle voice. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was beyond ecstatic that I had a girl in my room. I was pretty sure if I would've hung a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on my doorknob she would've heeded it happily. Probably would've brought me some condoms.

Well, maybe not that.

"Would you like some apple pie? I just baked it today," she offered instead.

But Bella quickly jumped off the bed. "No thank you, Mrs. Cullen," she said politely. She turned and glanced at me quickly. "I…actually I think I'd better get going." She walked towards my door.

"Edward, why don't you walk Bella home?" my mom suggested quickly. "It's pretty late and-"

I nodded and got up, guitar still in hand, but Bella put a hand out to stop me.

"No! Thank you," she added in a softer tone. "I'm really not that far off. I'll be fine on my own."

"Bella-" I tried to insist.

"No, really." And then her eyes did meet mine. She looked at me as if someone had just killed her bunny. As if _I'd_ just killed her bunny. I frowned. She turned back to my mom.

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen, for your hospitality." Then she turned back to me. The dead bunny look was gone, but a sad, resigned look took over her features. "Edward, I'll see you in school," she said. And then she turned and walked out.

"Bye Bella," I called out pathetically, once I'd found my voice again. I sat back down on my bed heavily, running one hand through my lion's mane. What the fuck had just happened? I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. My eyes moved warily around my room, landing on the green little jedi on one wall.

'_A fucking idiot you are,'_ I could hear him telling me from his spot on the wall. I picked up my pillow and threw it at him.

'The force be with you,' my ass.

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><p><strong>AN: 'My day reviews make' **

**Let me know what you're thinking out there. Liking it so far?**

**I know some of you are waiting for the next chapter of TIWIA I promised for this week. It'll be up early next week. Sorry, forgot the kiddies were off of school this week, and haven't had a chance to finish it! **


	3. Chapter 3 Less Than Zero

**This is the last high school chapter. Next chapter we'll be in the present.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing around with a not-so-perfect (for now) Edward.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 – Less Than Zero<strong>

**Chapter Song Rec: **_**She Will be Loved**_** by Maroon 5**

_**Still**_** Six and one half years ago:**

Ever since the night Bella showed up at my house unexpectedly, something changed. The first couple of days after had been sort of…weird. I mean, she'd still been nice and shit, but it was as if some sort of wall had been erected between us. She barely looked at me. Well, she looked at me, but I felt as if she was purposely avoiding my eyes; and when she did meet them, it was more like quick glances than anything else.

And I couldn't take it anymore. There was only one week left of school now, and it was do or die time. I couldn't hold back any longer. I'd been secretly in love with this girl for almost two years, and although I seemed to repulse almost everyone else in our school, she'd never been anything but wonderful to me. It was time to man up and take a chance. It would kill me to leave for UDub and never know what could've been. Fuck Newton and what he'd said in class last week. He didn't know shit about Bella. She didn't look at things like zits and glasses and klutziness. Bella had always seen past that, and I _had _to believe she'd liked what she'd seen.

So today I'd woken up with a lighter step in my shoes. I'd sung along with my stereo as I readied myself for school in front of my dresser mirror, gelling my bronze hair until it looked _almost_ just right. And purposely ignoring the angry red marks on my face.

'_I don't mind spending every day  
><em>_Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
><em>_Look for the girl with the broken smile  
><em>_Ask her if she wants to stay a while  
><em>_And she will be loved!  
><em>_And she will be looooved!' _

I crooned on, working up my nerve for today's mission.

'_Tap on my window knock on my door  
>I want to make you feel beautiful<br>I know I tend to get so insecure  
>It doesn't matter anymore!'<em>

My mom walked by my room carrying some folded laundry in her arms. She stopped and smiled as she caught sight of me.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning!" she called out cheerfully. It wasn't usual for me to be so chipper before school.

I smiled at her through the mirror. "Yeah, today's gonna be a good day."

'_She'll say yes, she'll say yes,'_ I chanted to myself in my mind.

My mom's smiled widened. "Does the fact that you'll be done with high school in a week have anything to do with your cheeriness?"

Although I'd never complained, my parents were aware of how difficult high school had become for me. I'd mentioned Bella a few times around the house, but not enough to make them suspicious that I had any feelings for her. As a result, my parents were convinced that once I left for college, all my problems would be solved and I could start a new life away from the small minds of Forks High School.

So instead of letting her in on the real reason I felt hopeful this morning, I let her believe the end of my high school career was the reason.

"Yeah. A week from today, I'll be done with FHS and I'll never have to look at any of them ever again."

_Except for hopefully Bella_, I amended in my head.

My mom walked into my room slowly, a sympathetic smile on her face. When she reached me, she put a warm, soothing hand on my shoulder, gazing at me through the mirror.

"Edward honey, you are a wonderful, beautiful young man, and whoever can't see that isn't worth your time or effort."

I looked down, embarrassed.

She squeezed my shoulder. "Mark my words honey, in college the girls'll all be tripping over themselves for you."

I snorted. Yeah right. I wasn't that delusional.

"You'll see," she repeated encouragingly.

"Yeah. Alright mom. I gotta go," I muttered, and turned around. I picked my backpack off my bed and walked quickly out of the room, leaving my mom staring behind me.

It appeared that all mothers were on my side this morning. Mother nature had kept the usual clouds at bay; the sun was shining warm and bright. So at lunch time, I carried my paper bag filled with a tuna sandwich, apple and water bottle outside, and sat cross legged on the grass, since all the tables were already taken, and I was pretty sure no one would want to share with Crusty Cullen and ruin their appetites. Besides, I needed privacy for what I was going to do today.

A few minutes into lunch hour, I felt the tingling in my stomach that always alerted me to Bella's presence, and I looked up from the book I was reading and directly into warm, brown eyes. Bella was standing a couple of feet from me, the sun's rays bouncing off her dark hair, shooting out beams of red and brown and gold and creating a halo of light over her hair. I smiled. My own personal angel.

She smiled when our eyes met and immediately came to sit next to me, even though the grass was still moist. My heart – which already tended to beat quicker when she was around – started racing like a horse. The knowledge of what I was about to do scared the ever-living shit out of me. But I couldn't back down. Not anymore.

"How are you doing Bella?" I asked as calmly as possible.

"Okay," she answered, picking up my half-eaten apple off the napkin it lay on and taking a big bite; no sign of disgust to be seen.

"You sure?" I asked, "You've seemed sort of…out of it lately."

She shrugged noncommittally. "How are you doing today Edward? Getting excited about graduation?" she asked through a mouthful of apple.

I shrugged. "I guess." I raised my eyes to the rest of the FHS population. "At least I won't have to see any of these clowns anymore."

Bella looked down at her lap and chewed slowly, swallowing the food in her mouth with a big gulp. "No, I don't suppose you will."

She raised her head back up, putting down the apple and taking a bite of my tuna sandwich. "It's hard isn't it?" she said suddenly, following my gaze with a thoughtful expression.

"What's hard?" I asked curiously.

She was quiet for a few seconds. "Trying to fit in. Trying to stay true to yourself while at the same time…" she trailed off. "So when are you heading off for UDub?" she asked, bringing her eyes back to me. I thought I detected a hint of sadness in them today.

"In a couple of weeks," I answered. "I'm taking some summer classes to get a jump on things."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Will you…" - she lowered her eyes and started playing with a few blades of grass – "Will you keep in touch? You know, email me once in a while or something, in between partying and meeting all those college girls?" She chuckled sort of nervously.

I smirked. "Yeah, I doubt any of that will be happening."

"How come?" she asked, tilting her head.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly the type of guy college girls go for." There was no self-pity in my voice. It was merely a fact.

Bella pursed her lips. "Then they're stupid," she said plainly.

I snorted. "Oh yeah, because I'm the catch of the year," I said, rolling my eyes.

Bella stared at me. She was silent for a long while. Then she started chewing on her lip, which I'd come to learn in the past couple of years meant she was in deep thought.

"Edward, you see yourself in a very negative light sometimes," she said abruptly. She sighed. "Do you…do you want to know what I see when I look at you?" She looked like she was blushing.

My eyes opened wide, my heart felt as if it were about to pound right out of my chest. I nodded and swallowed, unable to speak.

She stared at me for a few more seconds. "When I look at you, I see a sweet, smart, kind, talented and generous guy, not afraid to be himself, who's got so much to offer."

The words popped out of my mouth. "That's 'cause you're the only one who's ever seen past the zits and four eyes."

I sucked my teeth and exhaled heavily as soon as I'd finished, cringing at what a self-pitying asshole I sounded like. I looked down at my half-eaten food, too ashamed to look at Bella's face.

Bella said nothing for a long, long time, and I couldn't make myself look at her. I didn't want to see shock, or even pity in her warm brown eyes. I didn't want Bella's pity; I wanted something completely different than that from her, but I had no idea how to ask.

Suddenly my face was consumed by complete and utter warmth, the strange, electric sparks that her touch always elicited magnified exponentially. Bella cupped my face between her soft hands, and when I met her eyes, there was no pity or shock there. Only warmth, and affection.

With one hand, she slowly pulled my glasses off, and then looked deep in my eyes, searching, studying them.

"You have the most amazing eyes Edward," she murmured softly. "Like…clear windows. They're so bright and alive…and expressive." She bit her lip again. "If…If I were…If I were to ever try to paint them, I'd use the brightest emeralds, the softest greens. And then I'd swirl in some browns…and even a little black sometimes" – she narrowed her eyes, biting her lip and cocking her head to the side – "but that wouldn't quite get it right either" – she cocked her head to the other side - "Then I'd try to add some soft yellows, and maybe even-"

I put one hand on top of the one she still had against the side of my face, tightening my grip on it. "Bella…"

This was it. The moment of truth. I gazed in her dark eyes, so dazzling, so full of light, and I drew courage from them. She'd say yes. She felt it too. It was in her eyes. It was in the way she held my face, not in the least bit concerned with the pimples, her touch so warm and so sure.

Years from now, when Bella and I were old and wrinkled, sitting in matching rocking chairs out on the porch of our house, holding hands and watching our grandchildren play in our front yard, I'd look at her and remember this moment as the moment when it had all started. When I'd had the courage to tell her how I felt, and when she'd responded that she felt the same way. I drew in a deep breath and opened my mouth.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?"

A whiny, annoying voice called out from a few short feet away. Bella and I both blinked and turned towards the voice.

Jessica was standing a couple of feet away, her forehead furrowed and a slight scowl on her face. She looked from me to Bella and her scowl widened. Quickly, she took the few short steps to us and plopped herself down next to Bella, her frizzy brown curls bouncing around her. Bella's hands fell away from my face and she handed me back my glasses, smiling sheepishly.

Jessica smirked. "I was looking for you to see what time you wanted to head for Port Angeles today. I want to get to the dress stores early, before all the good ones are gone!" she added anxiously.

I frowned, wondering what Jessica was going on about. Suddenly, another figure appeared at Bella's other side, sitting himself between me and her.

"Hey Bella, I've been looking for you," Mike said, angling himself towards Bella and knocking into me with his shoulder. "I wanted to see if you and Jess wanted a ride to Port Angeles this afternoon."

"No thanks Mike," Bella said quickly, lowering her head. "Jess and I should be fine on our own."

Mike shrugged.

"Besides," Jessica said in her nasal voice "You're not supposed to see the dress before prom."

"Jessica, that rule's for weddings, not high school dances," Mike answered dryly.

I felt a dagger dig deep into my chest.

No, I must've misunderstood. It _had_ to mean something else.

"Anyway," Mike said, flashing his eyes over to me quickly before picking up one arm and placing it around Bella's shoulders, pulling her into him. Her shoulders sagged, her eyes remained lowered. "I'm sure whatever you wear," he spoke into her ear, "you'll be the hottest girl there."

Fuck No. Please no.

"You're going to prom Bella?" It took me a couple of seconds to realize the squeaky words had come from my mouth.

She raised her eyes to me sheepishly and nodded.

"Yeah, she's going with me," Mike added, looking towards me again with a cocky grin.

I froze. I couldn't move. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even make myself look away from her. I felt like I'd been kicked in the groin by a thousand ton gorilla. The world spun. The trees around the quad, the school's buildings, the student's walking by, they all blurred like an oil canvas that had been doused with a bucket of water. Everything spun around and around at a dizzying speed.

"So Cullen, you ask that girl to prom yet?" Mike asked innocently, breaking me out of my stupor.

To anyone else, his question would've seemed friendly. But I knew him. _I_ knew what a sneaky mother fucker he really was. I could see the cold laughter in his eyes, the way they taunted me, enjoying my pain and humiliation.

"'Cause if you're going to prom, maybe we can all share a limo?" he went on, in that phony friendly tone. "Tyler and Jess are coming with us, but I'm sure we can squeeze one more couple in. What do you think Bella?" he asked, turning back to her, his arm still around her shoulder.

Bella turned to him quickly. She offered him a faint smile. But it was the smile that should've been for _me_ after _I'd_ asked her to prom. I looked at Mike's arm around her. That should've been _my_ arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," she said quietly. She looked at me again, chewing on her lip. "What do you think Edward? Would you and your date like to come with us?"

I stared at her. I stared at her for a long, long time, watching as our grandchildren faded away. As the porch we sat on darkened and faded, leaving us alone in two old, decrepit rocking chairs on cold, dry grass. And then I watched as Bella and her old rocking chair faded into nothing, leaving me surrounded by darkness.

"No. I've decided not to go to prom after all," I responded in an empty voice. Bella looked surprised for a moment, before dropping her eyes to her lap again.

"Oh," she said quietly.

"Well that's too bad man," Mike continued, in that voice that made me want to jump on him right there and beat his face into the cold, wet earth. But I stayed in my spot, feeling the chill climb up my limbs, into my chest and settle itself inside my heart.

"If you change your mind, let us know," Mike finished, flashing me a wide grin.

And when I looked at his face, his expression said it all.

'_That's right Crusty Cullen you dumb fucker. She's mine now. You were an insane zit-faced asshole to ever think she could've said yes to you.'_

I couldn't stay there any longer. If I did, I'd either burst into tears like a little pussy or beat Newton within an inch of his life. And while one option sounded a hell of a lot more appealing than the other, I knew right now, a week before graduation, neither would be a good idea.

"I've gotta go," I muttered, and flung my back pack over my shoulder so quickly that I almost knocked myself back down to the floor. I booked it out of there, cursing myself for not even being able to make a strong exit.

"Edward!" I heard Bella call out after me, but I ignored her.

"Take care man!" Newton called out. I fought the urge to turn around and stick my fist in his mouth.

I ran to my car and stuck the keys in the ignition blindly, not caring that there was still half a day of classes left. Somehow, I made it back home. I ignored my mom's surprised questions when she saw me stalk back into the house a few hours earlier than expected. I ignored her worried knocks on my door, her gentle words asking me what was wrong. I turned the volume on the stereo up full blast, drowning out my mom's words, drowning out Bella's brown eyes, drowning out the feel of her hands on my face, drowning out Mike's triumphant glare. Drowning out the last week of my life as part of the Forks High School community.

I was absently strumming on my guitar later that evening, staring at the wall; the poster of the little green Jedi Master taunting me.

'_A big joke you are.'_

I snorted, and the chords became louder and tighter.

Three light rasps on my door broke me out of my pity-fest.

"Edward honey, you have a phone call," my mom announced, stepping quietly into my room. "It's Bella Swan?" she whispered gently.

My heart stopped; I hit a disjointed chord before my hand froze on the guitar. But I broke out of it quickly, and looked down, concentrating hard on the way my hand moved over the strings.

"I'm busy right now mom."

Out of my periphery, I could see my mom staring at me incredulously.

"Don't you want to speak to her?"

"I said I'm busy," I repeated.

She was silent for about two seconds.

"Edward" - she whisper-hissed, clutching the phone tightly with one hand and covering the receiver with the other - "she's waiting for you on the phone. She probably heard your voice. Why don't you want to-"

I stopped my strumming and looked directly at my mother. "Tell. Her. I'm. Busy."

Esme jerked her head back, surprised at both my words and my tone. "Please mom," I added guiltily.

She glared at me for a few more seconds, and then put the phone to her ear.

"Bella? Yes, sorry but Edward is…kind of busy at the moment. Would you like to call back- Oh sure, okay. I'll let him know. Bye Bella." She hung up.

"She said she'll see you in school tomorrow."

I nodded without looking at her, having gone back to my aimless strumming. Esme stood by the door, staring at me. I could feel her eyes burning a hole in the side of my head, but I didn't look at her. Finally, she asked,

"Why didn't you want to speak to her?"

I shrugged, but didn't answer.

"I thought you liked her. I thought-"

I hit another hard chord on the guitar and met my mother's eyes. "Mom, I just want to get the hell out of this town. I want to leave and never have to see anyone, _anyone_ from that school again. They're all the same. _All_ of them."

Esme's eyes widened in surprise. She looked like she wanted to say something, but then just turned and walked out of my room.

I went to school the next day, counting down the days and hours until graduation. I waited until the very last moment to go into the classes I shared with Bella, and when I did go inside, I kept my head down, avoiding her like the plague. Avoiding her the way everyone avoided me. When the class bell rang, I jumped up and ran out ahead of everyone. When I heard her calling me a couple of times in the hallways, I sped up and refused to look back.

I didn't say one single word to Bella for those last few days of school, and neither did she. When we sat together in Bio, I'd feel her eyes on me from across the small table, and on more than one occasion, it seemed like she was about to say something. But then I'd lock my jaw tightly, fisting my hands over the table, and she'd sigh quietly and look down, her hair cascading over her shoulder like a dark curtain between us. Every minute, every second we spent so close to each other in class was pure bittersweet torture. It was as if some electric force, some magnet pulled me to her, but I knew I had to ignore it if I was going to leave this school with one solitary shred of dignity.

For the rest of the week, I ate my lunch alone in the library. I took my finals. I packed my bags.

When the final bell rang on the last day of school, it was all I could do not to run for my car. When I felt her behind me, I picked up my steps, my vision tunneling towards the exit.

"Edward! Edward!" she called out.

And then I did run.

I made my way to my car, ignoring all the eyes that looked at me as if I were some sort of strange parasite. I ran away from the school that had been my torture for the past two years.

I ran away from _her_.

I put her big brown eyes behind me. Her soft, musical voice relegated to the deepest recesses of my memories. Her creamy white face a sight I'd only let myself revisit in my dreams.

I graduated, stuffed the Volvo my parents had given me as a graduation present with all my shit, drove away, and promised myself I'd never look back.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Stories about 'the one that got away?'<strong>

**Reviews are better than missed opportunities. Leave one.**

**We enter the present for the next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4 Back To the Future

**A/N: Alright guys, we're done with high school, and are in the present now.**

**Just want to let you all know that I've read every single review and appreciate all of them. I wish I could've responded to all of them, but between work and family and trying to get these chapters out, I haven't been able to. But I thank you all for them.**

**And also wanted to let you all know that the rest of our usual players will all be popping up eventually.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with Edward in my own little world (sigh).**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 – Back to the Future<strong>

'_I'll never be the same if we ever meet again.  
><em>_Won't let you get away if we ever meet again…' –_ **If We Ever Meet Again** - Timbaland featuring Katy Perry.

**Six and a half years **_**later:**_

I made my way through the throng of scantily clad moving bodies, trying to get through the crowd without calling too much attention to myself.

Still, several girls stopped me on my way out, grabbing my arm, hands 'accidentally' brushing against my chest and my ass, arms wrapping around my waist and proposing various activities, some legal, some questionably so, as I made my way through. I grinned at some, ignored others. It was the same thing night after night.

I broke through the rhythmic melee and made my way out the front exit of the club, inhaling deeply as the fresh night air hit me and the smell of smoke and booze, and occasionally certain illegal substances, got left behind – though Emmett and I would throw whoever we found with that shit out on their asses whenever that happened. But it was a dance club; these things were to be expected occasionally.

I drew in another deep breath. Every now and then the pulsing and the moving lights, the noise and the clatter got to be too much and I'd need to take a break.

"What's up bro?" Emmett asked, from my right side. "You come to check out the prospective meat yourself?"

I glanced over at my brother. He stood tall and imposing at the front of the line, his huge muscles flexed under his black t-shirt, the word 'BOUNCER' printed in black ink along his broad chest. Behind him, a long line of hopeful and anxious beautiful people waited behind the red rope.

I smirked, running my hand through my hair and then dropping it to straighten my silk tie. The club belonged to both of us, but Emmett preferred to deal with the front end of the business - the people, the employees, while I was the business head, dealing with suppliers and hiring and firing, the music, etc. It was an arrangement that worked out fine; the employees preferred him anyway.

A dark haired woman at the front of the line caught my eye. I strode over to where she stood; a crooked grin in place.

"How are you doing tonight beautiful?" I asked.

She smiled seductively, batting her long, fake eyelashes and pouting blood red lips. Her black leather jeans were so tight they looked like second skin on her. The red silk blouse she wore left little to the imagination; nothing more than a flimsy piece of material barely covering her tits and completely open in the back.

"I could be doing a lot better inside than standing out here," she purred with a sexy smile.

"I bet you could," I agreed, removing the rope and signaling with my head for her to walk through. Out of my periphery I could see Emmett's amused smile, watching me.

Sexy Jeans walked through slowly, grabbing her girlfriend's hand and tugging her along. Her friend wasn't too bad either, though shorter and dressed less provocatively. But Sexy Jeans…shit; I could feel a stiffy threatening. Not a good thing, since Victoria was inside tonight and she'd have my balls if she caught me with one of the clubbers.

But she wasn't out here now…

Sexy Jeans ran one hand slowly against my chest, pulling on my tie. "Maybe I'll see you inside? Give you a proper thank you?" she hinted through pouty lips. "You know, you let me in, maybe I could…return the favor…"

Tempting. Very tempting...

But probably not worth the shit I'd get from Victoria.

But hell, it wouldn't hurt to flirt a little more. "Maybe, beautiful. We'll see how the night progresses…"

Her smile grew. She batted her long eyelashes once more before walking in with her friend, her tight ass shaking seductively as she went. Before they disappeared inside and the loud cacophony of music swallowed them up, I heard her friend turn to her, squealing.

"Oh my God, I can't fucking believe it! You are so fucking lucky! He's even hotter than everyone says!"

I smirked.

"Victoria catches you fucking around again she's gonna castrate you man!" Emmett warned jokingly, clapping me on the back and pulling my attention away from Sexy Jean's retreating ass.

"Yeah well, Victoria's busy interviewing for a new bartender," I murmured. "And what she doesn't see won't hurt her."

"You are such a dog sometimes," Emmett snickered.

I shrugged.

"How's it looking tonight?" I asked.

Emmett's eyes trailed over the rest of the people hoping to get in, as Demetri went through the crowd, hand picking those good-looking enough to be allowed in. Lots of long legs, flimsy clothes, smoky eyes, red lips, and of course, the men willing to spend every last cent they owned to take it all home with them.

"Lots of regulars. A few new faces tonight," he shrugged. "Looks like it'll be a good night," he laughed.

Two years ago, after my graduation from UDub with a business degree, Emmett and I went out celebrating and ended up at this club. A bit of a dump, but somehow we'd gotten talking to the owner and found out he was looking to sell it, since it hadn't turned a profit in a few years. More than a little drunk and feeling invincible, we'd made him a proposal which he'd immediately accepted. The next morning we'd woken sober and fucking terrified.

What the fuck were we going to do with a club?

But we'd kept our verbal agreement with the guy, and somehow managed to turn the club around in the past couple of years from a dive to…Eclipse - the most popular club in the downtown Seattle area. Every night, the young and the young at heart waited in line for hours and hours to get in. The popularity of the club could be owed to Emmett, who everyone agreed had the most magnetic personality. It's financial success? To me.

'Magnetic personality' weren't usually words that were attached to my name, at least not by anyone who worked for us. Usually it was more like, 'fucking hot but hard as shit to please,' or 'I'd love to be over him but not under him.' I didn't necessarily agree nor disagree with my assessments. I chose to see myself as a man who didn't settle.

I'd settled long enough. In high school, everyone had treated me like shit just because they didn't like the way I looked. The first year of college had been slightly better, if only because everyone was too busy with either their schoolwork or their newfound freedom and social lives to give me shit. But other than that, I remained invisible, unseen.

Then that summer after the first year, things had started to change. At some point, and almost without me even having realized it, my skin had begun to clear up. One morning I'd woken up in my dorm and made my way lazily to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

When I'd caught my reflection in the mirror, I'd been shocked.

My face was completely clear. Not a zit, not a pock, not a red mark. I'd run a hand up and down my face and across my jaw line; not so much as an unseen bump.

At first, I'd chalked it up to a fluke; the pimples would return – and probably with a vengeance – so I tried not to make too much of it. But days passed, then weeks, and nothing. Suddenly, eyes followed me down the college hallways, through campus, but no longer in disgust. Girls started speaking to me in classes, stopping me in hallways; sitting and introducing themselves to me at the café, asking for help with homework, giggling and blushing. I'd hear them whispering about me.

'_God, he's hot! I'd freakin' love to screw him! Did he just start here over the summer? I don't remember seeing him before…'_

I'd frown and shake my head, still too confused to give their looks and words much thought.

By that time I'd also had Lasik eye surgery, so the glasses were gone, and the Tae Kwon Do classes I'd started up freshman year helped with my coordination and confidence, as well as toned me up physically.

Then I started dating.

One night, less than halfway through sophomore year, I lost my virginity to Jane Volturi, a pretty little blonde thing with the flexibility of a gymnast and an almost insatiable sexual appetite. Which I had no problem with.

Jane was a lot more experienced than I was. She guided and coached me patiently while I fumbled my way through those first few times. But I'd always been a fast learner, and sex was no exception. We dated and screwed for a few months, and then eventually we both moved on, no hard feelings, each having gotten something out of the deal. She fucked the hottest guy on campus (their words, not mine) and I…well I fucked.

Everything came much easier to me after that; the girls, the sex. But after going through a fucking marathon – literally – for the rest of sophomore year and most of junior year, I decided to take a step back. Balancing school and girls was not so easy, so I made my grades my priority again. After all, none of the girls I'd met were worth fucking up my GPA over.

After that I dated as much as your average college kid, because the truth was I'd gone into UDub determined to make something of myself. What that would be, I still had no idea. But it would be something that would've proven to all the losers I'd gone to high school with that I was much more than Crusty Cullen, the zit-faced four-eyed dork they'd laughed at all through junior and senior years.

Crusty Cullen was nothing more than a dark, fading memory, exiled along with the other memories I'd pushed to the back of my mind over the years. Like my memories of _her_.

Yeah, you could say the female population had a thing for me. I took it all in stride. I kept things uncomplicated and casual, and it was _so_ easy to do so. There had only ever been one girl I'd ever met that had tied me up in knots. But that had been a long time ago.

It was better this way anyway. _I_ was better off this way; keeping things cool and simple, because falling in love…

Love wasn't something I thought of. Not since…not since I'd made a giant ass of myself in front of that fucker Mike Newton and a little high school sophomore brunette named Bella Swan.

Bella Swan.

I rarely thought of her after my freshman year of college, at least not during the daytime hours. Too busy I guess. Still. You can't control your dreams. And there were nights.

Nights when I'd wake up in the dark, and she'd be there, behind my eyelids. Long brown hair, rich chocolate eyes, pale, creamy skin; like a vision. And even on those nights when I'd wake up gasping for air and not exactly remember why, I knew. There had only ever been one person in my life that could make my heart beat as furiously as it would on those nights; that could take my breath away so completely. I'd know exactly who I'd been seeing in my subconscious. But I'd push the dark hair and rich eyes away, throw my head back against my pillow, and force myself back to sleep.

I'd never kept in touch with her.

During one of my few visits back to Forks to visit my parents, I'd heard she'd gone off to Columbia University, in New York, when she'd graduated. I'd felt a slight stab in my chest at that information, at the mention of her name, but I'd ignored it and put it out of my mind. Mike Newton had been a senior in high school at the same time as I, and he'd gone off to college in New York too, to NYU. I could only assume Bella had followed him off to New York once she'd graduated

A stupid high school crush; that's all it'd been, because she'd been the only one that had treated me half-decently during those years. But even _she_ had thrown me off to the side in the end.

So yeah. Emmett had stayed in Seattle after graduating, working odd jobs until that one fateful night at an old, beat up club. And now he and I were the kings of the Seattle night life, with very little real competition, except for the shitty open-mike club Jasper Whitlock owned a few blocks from here, Nitelock.

A year ago, we'd decided we needed an assistant, or rather I did. That's how Victoria had come into the picture. At some point, she'd become my right hand man – or woman, as it were. At some point, we'd started fucking around.

It was a comfortable relationship. Victoria was beautiful, _and_ unbelievably smart, and she knew the night club business inside out. She was a few years older than me, and had plenty of experience where it counted, in and out of bed. And although she tended to be a bit on the jealous side, I didn't mind. I loved to flirt, yes, but I didn't have the time right now, or the patience, to screw around with more than one woman at a time. Victoria kept me physically satisfied, and that's all I needed.

I drew in another deep breath, tasting the semi-fresh air for the last time for the next few hours, and turned back to Emmett. He and Demetri were busy sorting through the crowd.

"I'm going back in man," I said to Emmett. "See if Victoria needs some help with the prospective bartenders."

"Alright man," Emmett answered without looking my way, focused on his job of sorting through the cattle.

I walked back in and made my way through the crowd, this time skirting around the dance floor so I could try to avoid most of the pulling and grazing and groping. I made my way to the back of the club and through the black door marked Employees Only. The steep stairwell leading up to our offices was narrow and dark. A shiver ran down my spine as I made my way up. I'd have to get one of the janitors or something to check for a draft around here.

I opened the door at the top of the stairwell, the noise from the club downstairs low and muted by the doors and the distance. The hallway where Emmett's office and mine lay was painted a soft, caramel color, almost brown. I'd always had a thing for brown…

I was about to step into my office when I heard Victoria's voice.

"So tell me, what kind of whiskey would you use if a customer ordered a Manhattan Cocktail?"

I waited on the other side of the door for the prospective bartender's response. Silence.

I smirked. Victoria would be ripping this kid a new asshole by the end of the night.

I decided not to interrupt, so instead I gave two rasps against the door and stepped back, waiting for Victoria.

"Excuse me for a second," she said as she walked out, not even giving the interviewee a chance to respond. When Victoria opened the door I caught a glance of the bottom half of the interviewee's jeans, faded and worn; a pair of black Ugg boots on female feet. I chuckled to myself, surprised Victoria had even bothered to interview whoever was behind that door.

The scowl on her pale face was enough to let me know the interview had not gone well at all. She closed the door behind her, rolling her blue eyes, her fiery red hair tumbling from side to side as she shook her head and glared at me.

"How fucking hard can it be to find one decent bartender in this damn town?" she growled in a pitch I wasn't so sure would be muffled by the closed door. "I mean seriously, this girl is a fucking waste of my time! She doesn't even know what the fuck goes into a Lemon Drop for God's sakes!"

I chuckled and murmured back, "Vic, Lemon Drops aren't exactly the most popular drinks on the menu."

"I don't give a shit!" she complained in an irritated tone. "You come to interview for a bartending position in the city's hottest nightclub, you'd better know your business! This fucking girl just graduated from college and apparently has no god damned clue what she wants to do with her life so she thinks she can just come waste _my_ time!"

I chuckled again; her face was as red as her hair. She scowled back at me.

"And you should see what she's wearing, a faded pair of jeans and a college sweatshirt! Can you believe her nerve showing up here in an outfit like that?"

"Well, it's not like we're interviewing for a CEO position."

"Yes, but this is a god damned nightclub, not a warehouse! You want to work here, at least dress the part! You think it's funny?" she hissed angrily at my amused expression. "Why the hell don't you go in there and finish interviewing this girl so you can see how irritating she is?"

I shook my head and leaned in to put my mouth on hers. She tried to pull back for a split second but once my tongue plunged into her mouth she was putty in my hands. After a few seconds of calming her down, I pulled away.

"I'll let you take care of it. That's why you're here."

She gazed at me, slightly dazed, before raising an eyebrow. "That and because you know how to work wonders with that tongue."

"That too," I smirked. "I'll be in Emmett's office if you need me."

She licked her lips. "I might just come looking for you after I'm done getting rid of that loser in there."

"You do that," I said, and turned towards Emmett's office, feeling her eyes on my retreating form.

I walked into Emmett's office and closed the door behind me, taking a seat behind his desk and turning his laptop on. I'd get some work done while I waited for Victoria to get rid of the girl in her office. Through the closed door, I could hear her muffled voice, barely making out her words. I chuckled quietly, my fingers moving over the keyboard.

"…sorry….not what we're looking…more experience…busiest bar…don't have time to train…"

I snorted. Victoria was nothing if not direct.

I turned my attention back to the order sheets on the screen.

"…sorry to waste…won't take up…see myself out…"

My heart stopped. All the air left my lungs in one breath.

That voice.

I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

Through the thickest doors.

Under water.

Through the loudest cacophony of blaring music and drunk voices.

Bella Swan.

I froze. Just like the last time I'd seen her, or heard her melodic voice, over six years ago. I couldn't move one muscle, even as I heard the door to my office open, and the sound of Victoria sharply directing her how to get out of the building, and – oh Jesus - there went her voice again, once more thanking Victoria for her time.

Bella.

I couldn't get up. I might as well have had a thousand pound weight across my legs.

Bella.

What was she doing here?

My mind raced. Did she know this was my club? Had she come looking for me? What was she doing here? Wasn't she supposed to be living in New York, with her boyfriend Mike? What was she doing here? Would she speak to me? Would she even remember me?

_What was she doing here?_

Time passed, seconds, like a eons. Then the door to Emmett's office opened and Victoria walked in, a smile that only meant one thing on her face.

"She's gone," she drawled with a meaningful smile. She raised her arms behind her and started pulling down the zipper on her tight black dress. "We're _all_ alone up here."

_She's gone. _

_She's gone_.

Bella was gone. Bella Swan, the _only_ girl I'd _ever_ even considered being in love with, had been a few feet from me, and like a coward, like the coward I'd been all through high school, I'd let her leave. Again.

Suddenly I was on my feet, running past a confused-looking Victoria.

"Edward, where are you going?" she called out, holding her dress up against her chest.

"I'll be right back!" I managed to answer.

I raced down the dark staircase and threw open the door. The loud thunderous blare of music and the vibrating floor below me hit me all at once. I scanned the large room quickly; desperately searching through the masses of people huddled together for one solitary brown head of hair. Unfortunately, in the dark, everyone's hair looked the same; a symphony or reds, oranges and purples from the bouncing lights, faces lit up white from the glare of the overheads, tall thin half-naked women dancing and laughing while their male counterparts eyed them hungrily hoping for a lucky night.

Bella.

At the opposite end of the room, just a few feet from the exit, a smaller figure, dressed differently from the rest - plain jeans and a sweatshirt – was quickly hurrying out.

I forced myself through the crowds, pushing off the searching hands, ignoring the offers, making my way to the opposite end of the room as quickly as humanly possible. When I finally broke through the horde, I pushed the doors open, my breathing hard and erratic from the rush of adrenaline. From the shock.

"Yo bro what's up?" Emmett chuckled, frowning. "You look like you've just seen a ghost!"

"Not seen, heard," I answered, scanning the streets. Which way?

"What?" Emmett asked.

"Did you see a girl walk out of here, about five four, brown hair, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt?"

Emmett's frown deepened; a puzzled smile rested on his lips. "From where? From in here?" he asked, jerking his thumb towards the club. "Are you shitting me?"

I ignored him and kept scanning the streets. How could such a small girl move so fast?

There was a time, a long time ago, another life time ago, when I could feel Bella moving through the school. It was as if some sixth sense told me whenever she was around; some ingrained personal Bella GPS tracker that would warn me when she was walking a few feet behind me, or ahead of me, or if she was in a room I'd just passed, or entered.

I closed my eyes, praying for that tracker once more.

Nothing.

"Aaah Fuck!" I growled, running my hands through my hair.

Emmett turned to say something to Demetri and then walked over to me.

"Edward, what's going on?" he asked in a low voice. "What's with you?"

I didn't answer him as I took off running.

"Where are you going Edward?" Emmett called out.

I ran through the dark city streets, still alive at this time of night. In this neighborhood, the nights literally ended once the muted sun made its way over the Seattle sky. Several people turned and watched me curiously as I ran past them, but I ignored them all.

Four blocks into my chase, just as I was getting ready to give up hope of ever finding her, a soft head of brown hair, gathered together in her trademark haphazard ponytail suddenly bobbed up and down about a three-quarters of a block ahead of me. My heart beat sped up. I picked up my pace, my mind still reeling; unwilling to believe it was actually her. It couldn't be Bella, could it? I must've imagined her voice. That brown hair could belong to anyone.

But that walk. I'd recognize that walk anywhere. Purposeful and steady, each step measured as if she were being careful not to trip on something. And no, that hair couldn't belong to just anyone.

She walked quickly, purposely, big Ugg boots and a black purse slung over her shoulder, her hands in her pockets, her head down. My pulse quickened. Adrenaline moved me forward blindly. Abruptly, her pace slowed. She stopped for a couple of seconds, not moving. Her head went up as if she were listening for something. When she started walking again, her pace picked up considerably.

She crossed the street quickly, at a sprint now, and I had to break into my own sprint to keep up with her. I was only about half a block behind her.

Halfway up the fifth block, she turned abruptly, a dark object in her hand. I drew in a sharp breath of air.

Bella.

It was her. Her creamy face; her beautifully dark eyes. Dark and…angry at the moment.

"Don't come any closer!" she hissed in a slightly shaky voice. "My father's a cop and he taught me how to defend myself!"

What?

"Bella?" I breathed. My voice echoed off the walls of the storefronts.

She cocked her head to the side, a wary and stubborn look on her face. Even in this distance, I could see her eyes sparkling, full of determination.

She studied me for a couple of seconds, confused; her expression morphing several times, from puzzlement, to wonder, and then to complete and utter shock.

"Edward?"

I swallowed thickly.

"Yeah Bella. It's me."

She stared for a few more seconds.

That was when I remembered how we'd left things the very last time we'd seen each other, six and one half years ago.

I'd completely ignored her that last week before my high school graduation, and then I'd walked away; _ran_ really, refusing to turn back when she'd called my name.

She'd asked me to keep in touch, to email her. I hadn't done so even once.

She probably had absolutely zero interest in seeing me.

Out of nowhere her expression changed once more, equal parts disbelief and delight.

And then she ran towards me, with arms outstretched, and before I could process it, she'd jumped up and thrown her arms around my shoulders and wrapped her legs around my waist. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her up and against me tightly, and dug my face into her hair. I inhaled as deeply as I could.

Six and a half years after the last time I'd laid eyes on her, Bella Swan was in my arms.

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><p><strong>Reviews are better than a Lemon Drop. Leave one.<strong>

**I will update this one more time this week (as well as an update to TIWIA) :)**


	5. Chapter 5  The Princess Bride

**A/N: Some of you are wondering how long this story is going to be. Right now I'm thinking about 20 or so chapters, give or take a few (probably give, knowing me).**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with Edward in my own little world.**

**CHAPTER FIVE – The Princess Bride**

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><p>"Oh my God, Edward!" Bella cried. She pulled away to look at me. Her mouth turned up in a wide grin, her chocolate eyes laughing. She finally laughed aloud, a thrilled, awed laugh, and wrapped her arms around me again.<p>

If in the last six years of my life I'd ever fooled myself into believing I'd forgotten Bella, that I'd gotten over her, that I'd relegated the memory of her into the deepest recesses of my mind as nothing more than a teenaged crush, the unrequited love of a lonely outcast, then the feel of Bella's warm body wrapped around me, the feel of her breath on my neck, the scent of strawberries that wafted deliciously off of her long, thick hair, did away with every one of those lies.

I'd _never_ forgotten this girl.

I breathed in a shaky breath, reveling in the closeness that I'd never experienced with her, not even back then. After a few seconds, she unwrapped her arms from around my neck and pulled her body back. I forced myself to put her down.

"My God Edward!" she repeated, that thrilled grin still on her face, a face that had gone from girlishly pretty to unbelievably beautiful in the past six years. Her flawless skin was as light as I remembered in my dreams, but her cheeks had a warm, peachy glow to them. Her hair reflected the light from the street lamps up above, and shone like spools of silk.

And her eyes, Jesus, her eyes were pure chocolate, both dark and bright at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I ought to ask you that," I responded, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. "Last I heard you were on the East Coast." A basic admission that it was information I'd somehow gathered and bothered to remember.

Her eyes widened. She jerked her head back. "Yeah, I was there for a while. I went to Columbia, in New York." She shrugged. "Just graduated last June and moved back to Washington a couple of months ago."

"So you've been in Seattle for a couple of months?"

"Mm hmm," she nodded. "I moved back with a friend from school." Her excitement dimmed momentarily. "Charlie, my dad," she clarified, "started having heart trouble about a year ago. I wanted to be near him again."

I couldn't help noting with relief that this friend of hers was apparently female.

"And how's he doing now? He's good?" Bella had never been one to bring up her father often, but whenever she had, it had been obvious by the look in her eyes how much she loved him.

She nodded and shrugged again. "He's better. I try to go see him periodically, but- Hey enough about me! How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," I shrugged. "Don't know if you remember, but I went to UDub-"

"Of course I remember!" she cried, swatting me on the arm playfully.

I smiled, the tingles that only ever her touch had elicited making their way up my arm. "After I graduated I just stayed local."

She smiled widely, her eyes still sparkling, as if she couldn't get over the fact that we were talking to each other. Or maybe it was just me that couldn't get over it.

"And what do you do?" she asked with genuine interest.

I shrugged again. "Emmett, my brother" - I said, reminding her who Emmett was – "and I own a business not too far from here."

"Wow! Really? That's great!" she replied. She pulled back further to examine me up and down. Goosebumps rose wherever her eyes roamed. "I guess that sort of explains why you're out here at this time of night dressed so nicely, and without any kind of coat on?"

I looked down at myself. "Well, that's part of a longer story," I admitted vaguely.

She grinned from ear to ear, staring at me. For the next few seconds, neither one of us spoke. We simply stood there, staring at each other and grinning like two people who'd struck gold.

Bella drew in a deep breath. "Well, uhm…I guess…I should get…" - she turned half of her body around, pushing back a stray lock of hair off of her forehead – "uh…I mean…"

"Hey, would you like to like to grab a cup of coffee? I mean, unless you have somewhere to be right now, or you know-"

"I'd love to!" she replied, her chocolate eyes brightening again.

I let out a small sigh of relief. We started walking, still staring at each other.

"Let me just call my roommate and let her know I'm going to be home a bit later than expected, otherwise she worries," Bella said.

"Sure," I agreed.

Bella pulled out her phone and dialed while we walked slowly towards a coffee shop right on the corner, a bright red neon sign announcing it was open twenty-four hours.

"Hey Al," she breathed into the phone. She looked down, smiling; then she frowned in response to whatever her roommate was saying over the phone.

"No, I didn't get it," she said through pursed lips. "I guess that crash course you gave me wasn't enough." I could hear a tiny, high-pitched voice talking excitedly on the other line. Like a squeaky little mouse.

"Yeah, well, not everyone's that nice I guess. You should've seen the bitch in heels that interviewed me!" she cried into the phone. "I mean, the crap she was asking!" She listened intently to the high-pitched squeal. "I don't know; some nonsense about lemons and Manhattan." She rolled her eyes, listening. "Yes, I know its whiskey, but she wanted to know what _kind_ of whiskey." I locked my jaw nervously. Bella let out a frustrated sigh. "Anyway, whatever. It's probably for the best anyway. I heard one of the owners of the club can be a real asshole. Rides his employees hard. Who wants to work for someone like that anyway, right?" She looked over at me, as if waiting for my agreement. I shrugged noncommittally.

"Anyway Al," she continued just as we were walking into the coffee shop. I held the door open for her and she mouthed thanks as she walked in. "I'm just calling to let you know I'll be a little late tonight, so don't worry and don't wait-." She bit her lip and glanced up at me as we sat down at a table. "I'm just having coffee with an old friend I bumped into."

High-pitched voice.

"From high school."

Short silence and then high-pitched voice. Whatever 'Al' said made Bella blush that beautiful pink color I'd only seen in my dreams for the past few years.

"Yes, a guy." She listened again.

"Yes," she answered shortly, turning a deeper shade of red and glancing at me through lowered lashes.

"Yes," she hissed. Abruptly, she rolled her eyes and smirked.

"Good-bye Mary Alice Brandon," she huffed. "Good-bye!" she repeated, before hitting the 'End' button, even though 'Al' could still be heard talking.

She put her phone away and looked over at me from across the booth, smiling sheepishly. "My roommate's a pain in the ass, but I love her," she groaned.

I chuckled. "Yeah, sounds like she's really…interesting."

She snorted. "You have no idea."

"Have you known her long?" I asked, anxious to get her talking about anything and everything. I'd ask her about the color of her closet walls if it meant keeping her here all night with me.

"She was my roommate in college. I met her freshman year. We've been best friends ever since."

"That's good," I said.

She chuckled. "We're complete opposites, I mean, you'd never figure us for best friends, but…" she shrugged her shoulder, as if saying, 'What're you going to do?'

"She's got this spiky short black hair, and these deep blue eyes. Tiny, but with a model's figure. She's really outgoing, talented. Totally beautiful in every way."

I smirked.

"What?"

"I'm still waiting to see how she's so opposite from you. Seriously Bella, you've grown into a…" – I sighed – "…a breathtakingly beautiful woman. I mean, you were always pretty in high school, but now…"

She blushed and looked down. "You look pretty good yourself Edward." Her face flamed brighter at her admission, and I couldn't help how good it felt to hear _her_ say that, even if it was something I heard pretty regularly from unimportant people.

The waitress came and we gave her our order. Two black coffees, no sugar.

After the waitress left, Bella's eyes came back to me.

"Anyway, Alice wants to be a fashion designer, and even though Seattle isn't the fashion capital New York is, neither one of us could stand the thought of having about thirty states between us. So she made a few phone calls and landed herself an internship with one of the top up-and-coming designers here in Seattle, and just like that, moved down with me."

"Sound like she's a good friend," I said.

"She is," she agreed thoughtfully. Abruptly, she bounced once in her seat. "So tell me. Tell me more about you!" she insisted. "I feel like I'm doing all the talking. Tell me what you've been up to all these years."

I sighed, meeting her excited gaze. "I'd rather hear about you," I answered honestly.

She frowned and bit her lip, and the memory of that simple action hit me like a blast from the past, how she'd do this when she was thoughtful, or nervous.

"I feel like I've already told you half my life story and I haven't heard anything about you."

"No," I corrected playfully. "You've told me half of Alice's life story. I'd like to hear more about you."

She pressed her lips together, and smiled tightly, as if I'd asked her to relay something she wasn't quite comfortable with.

Just then the waitress returned with our coffees. We thanked her and she walked away. And when Bella lifted her mug to her small pink mouth, I flinched, as if a knee had just connected with my groin.

Bella held the mug with both hands, left over right, and on her left hand sat a simple diamond ring.

I swallowed thickly.

"You're engaged," I said evenly, jerking my head towards her ring and praying she'd say that it was just an old family heirloom, or something she wore to scare off obnoxious guys.

But she nodded, slowly.

She took a measured sip from her coffee, staring at the mug as she answered.

"Yeah, I'm engaged."

I nodded, trying to fight back the knot in my throat, the nauseous sensation in my stomach. My mind raced frantically.

"Congratulations," I managed to murmur, trying to infuse my voice with some sense of enthusiasm.

"Thanks," she answered quietly.

An uncomfortable silence filled the booth for the space of ten seconds.

"So tell me about the lucky guy. What does he do?" _Fucking Asshole_.

She looked up at me then, smiling nervously. "Actually, you know him."

The room spun, and it was all I could do not to keep from spilling my coffee. I lowered the mug back to the table, just to be on the safe side.

"Do I?" I answered nonchalantly.

She bit her lip. "Do you remember Mike? Mike Newton?"

I tried not to flinch again.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure I remember Mike."

We were silent once more, staring at each other.

"I know he was sort of a jerk to you in high school," Bella said suddenly.

I snorted and shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. She didn't even know the half of it. Most of the shit he'd said and done had been when she wasn't around, because he knew how she was. He knew she'd hate him for being such an asshole. So he was a hypocrite on top of everything else. She had no idea he was the one who'd penned the disgusting nickname that had followed me for two years; Crusty Cullen.

"That's all ancient history."

"I know," she said, looking back down into her mug. She looked up at me again suddenly, apologetically.

"I want you to know he's not like that anymore."

I smiled wryly, but didn't answer.

"Really, he's not," she insisted.

"Hey, you don't have to convince me," I snorted, taking a burning sip from my mug. "I'm not the one who's marrying him, you are."

She stared at me, biting her lip.

"So…have you two been together since high school then?" I asked masochistically. "Since our senior prom?"

She shook her head. "No. Mike and I went to prom together, but…we just didn't…click at that point. I didn't want to…I had other…things on my mind then" – she looked down, blushing again. She drew in a deep breath. "He went off to college, to NYU, and a couple of years later I went to Columbia. We bumped into each other at a party one night but…we were just friends for a long time." She looked back up. "His parents died in a car accident a couple of years ago. Did you know that?"

I didn't go home very often, and when I did, finding out about the lives of the people that had made my life a living nightmare was pretty low on my list of priorities.

I shook my head.

"Oh. Well, yeah, they were hit by a drunk driver. Anyway, he took it pretty hard for a while and then I guess I…I don't know…I guess I…"

"You were there to comfort him," I provided coolly.

"Yeah, I suppose," she said, gazing into my eyes. "And then, well, then it progressed from there."

I nodded. "So I take it he's here in Seattle too then?"

She shook her head. "He works for a large corporation in mergers and acquisitions, so…he travels a lot. He's convinced my move to Seattle won't last" – she rolled her eyes – "so he stayed in New York and comes up to see me every couple of weekends."

I nodded stoically again.

"So what does he plan to do if this move of yours does last?"

She shrugged slowly. "We haven't thought that far ahead yet. For now…we're trying to make it work this way."

"And where does the gig as a bartender come into the picture?" The fucker sounded like he made good money. Why the fuck was his fiancée scouting the Seattle streets for a job as a bartender?

Bella's expression hardened.

"I majored in Art in college, and well…I haven't had much luck finding a job in my field, believe it or not," she said sarcastically. "I've tried every art gallery, every art school, everything. No one's hiring, at least not me. Al's been picking up my half of the rent for the past couple of months, and its killing me. I figure I just need something at this point, _anything_ to get me by until I can find something else. If I bartend at night, that'll still leave my days free to keep job hunting for something more…permanent."

I made no immediate comment, because I still didn't understand it. If she'd been _my_ fiancée, there would've been no way in hell she would've been searching for a job as a bartender. If she'd been _my_ fiancée, she wouldn't need to worry about money, or paying the rent.

We sat there in awkward silence for a while.

"Well," I breathed out, "Like I said, congratulations. I really wish you nothing but the best Bella."

She stared at me, searching; her gaze burning me. I was sure she could see right through me; the agony I was in, my continuing obsession with her, everything I'd never been able to tell her. And now never would.

"So come on Edward," she said with what now sounded like forced levity. "Tell me about you! What do you do? What kind of business do you own?" She brought the mug to her lips.

I smiled wryly and snorted. The words just popped out of my mouth.

"Actually, I'm the asshole who owns the club you just interviewed at. And Victoria, the bitch in heels? She's my girlfriend."

She spit her coffee out in one long stream, the hot black liquid spilling all over the plastic table top and splattering on my shirt and pants. Then she started coughing - really, really hard.

In one quick motion I was at her side, patting her firmly on the back. Fuck, I really was the biggest asshole this side of the Pacific.

"Are you okay Bella?"

She couldn't even answer me through her fit of coughs. Her face was as bright red as a summer tomato from the force of her coughs.

I kept patting her on the back, wishing I had a razor blade so I could just slit my wrists right now.

Finally, Bella's coughing slowed, and her face started to return to its normal color. She put one finger up, as if saying, 'give me a minute.' My pats on her back slowed and became lighter, until I was rubbing small circles on her back.

Finally she stopped coughing. For a couple of minutes, I kept rubbing her back. When I was sure the coughing had completely ended, I lowered my hand to the table. She lowered her eyes to her lap.

"God Edward, I'm so embarrassed."

"No Bella! Please. I'm _so_ sorry. I shouldn't have said-"

"_I'm_ sorry. I had no idea, or else I never would've said those things. I mean- I- I'm sure you're not an- and she's not really a- Oh God," she moaned, covering her face with both hands. "And I ruined your shirt too!"

I closed my eyes. It was impossible for anyone to hate themselves more than I did at that moment.

"Hey, hey, hey," I put my hands over hers and tried to pry them away from her face. "Forget about it. Really. The shirt'll get cleaned and…it's not like it's the first time Victoria and I have been called those names."

I tried to ignore the warmth of her hands under my own. It didn't matter anyway; it wasn't as if I'd ever get the chance to feel them again after we left this coffee shop tonight.

She was fucking engaged. To goddamned Mike Newton.

Slowly, she peeled her hands away from her face and brought them down to the table. I kept one hand over hers. She peeked at me shyly.

God, she was beautiful; so sweet and innocent and exotic and mysterious all at once. I knew no matter what, I'd remember this moment for the rest of my life. The way she looked at me, shy big brown eyes, creamy face peeking out timidly, my hand on top of hers over the cheap, plastic table. It would be a memory to haunt me for a lifetime.

Bella smiled carefully. "I'm sure what those guys were saying wasn't true anyhow. You were always…the complete opposite of an asshole."

I leaned back into the booth, finally pulling my hand away from hers. The loss of heat was immediate.

I snorted cynically. "We haven't seen each other for a really long time Bella. A lot's changed since high school."

She cocked her head to the side thoughtfully. "Yeah…it has…but…" – she cocked her head to the other side – "your eyes…your eyes are still the same. So you can't be that different."

And now I noticed we were seated so close to each other I could feel her breath on my neck when she spoke.

"Except I have two instead of four now; and no more whiteheads to frame them," I answered.

She shook her head. "It wasn't as bad as you seem to think it was."

"Yes. It was," I snickered. "Crusty Cullen? Remember?"

She shook her head again vehemently. Her long thick hair had come undone from her pony tail during her coughing fit, and now cascaded loosely over her shoulders. The faint scent of strawberries hit my nostrils, and I had to physically fight the urge to inhale deeply.

"I don't mean the name calling and the…teasing. I mean you. The glasses. Your skin. It wasn't bad. It was just…you." Her cheeks were still flushed from her coughing fit.

"You were the only one who never seemed bothered by it…by me."

She drew in a deep breath, staring at me intently. "That's because I wasn't Edward."

We were both silent again, my heart hammering in my chest, my overactive and desperate brain trying to make sense of the senseless.

She was engaged for God's sakes. To fucking Mike Newton of all people.

She had a good heart; that's all it was. She'd had a good heart in high school, and she obviously still had one now. A lot _had_ changed, but that hadn't.

But that didn't make it any easier to fight the overwhelming urge to lean into the few inches that separated us and grab her face between my hands and finally, _finally_ claim the mouth that had haunted me for two years in high school; that had in truth haunted me since. Without thinking, unable to resist, my body leaned in closer to her, and I could swear she was leaning closer to me too, our eyes locked on each other.

The shrill ring of my cell phone suddenly exploded from my pants pocket, breaking me out of the spell I'd started to fall under, and dousing me with a big-ass bucket of reality.

Bella Swan was engaged. To fucking Mike Newton.

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><p><strong>Reviews are better than stale black coffee.<strong>

**Couple more updates next week guys. Let me know what you're thinking.**


	6. Chapter 6  Stand and Deliver

**A/N: A few of you wondered after last chapter why Bella would be engaged to Mike, instead of someone more likable like Jake. There are a couple of reasons for that, which will become more evident in the next couple of chapters. Also, many of you were grossed out by the fact that she was engaged to 'ew' Mike. Just to make things clear, while Mike will NEVER compare to Edward, in this story at least, he's not a bad-looking guy. **

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing around with Edward in my own little world.**

**CHAPTER SIX – Stand And Deliver**

**Chapter Song Rec: **_**White Flag**_** by Dido**

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><p>"Excuse me," I murmured taking my phone out and straightening myself up. At some point during our conversation, I'd somehow started leaning dangerously close to Bella. And pulling away from her now was like working against a force field determined to suck me in.<p>

Bella blinked twice, and straightened her back. "Sure," she whispered quietly.

For a split second I wondered if maybe, just maybe…

"Where the hell are you?" Victoria barked as soon as I answered the phone, erasing my train of thought.

I glanced at Bella. She smiled and turned her head to the other side, gazing out of the darkened windows.

"I…uh…I ran into an old friend outside the club."

Victoria was silent for a few seconds.

"Well, as soon as you're done catching up with your _friend_ you need to get back here. Demetri caught a guy trying to sneak some X into the club. We're trying to decide whether we should call the cops or take care of it ourselves."

"Shit," I muttered, running my hand through my hair. "Alright" – I sighed – "I'll be back in a few."

"Mm hmm," Victoria mumbled before hanging up. She was pissed. Fuck it. I'd deal with her when I got back.

"Problems?" Bella frowned as soon as I'd placed the phone back in my pocket.

I smiled tightly. "Yeah, you know. Just your typical club problems."

"Oh, well yeah, I guess with it being such a popular place and all…"

We stared at each other. Bella's chest heaved slightly from the after-effects of her choking. Abruptly, she turned to her other side and picked up her bag, opening it in front of her and pulling out some money.

"Listen, I guess I've taken up enough of your time," she said sheepishly, putting a five dollar bill over the table. I frowned. "I should let you get back to work."

Quickly, I picked her money up off the table and put it inside her palm, closing her hand and wrapping mine over hers.

"Bella, it was just a cup of coffee. I've got it."

She pursed her lips and straightened her back. "Thanks, but I can afford to pay for my own coffee." She pulled her hand out of mine and firmly placed the five dollar bill on the table again.

I was confused by the coolness in her tone.

"No Bella, I know you can, I just…" I sighed and tried a different approach. "I was raised to never let a lady pay for a cup of coffee, and if you don't let me pick up the tab, I won't be able to sleep tonight." I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, regardless.

She frowned, and then smirking, slowly picked her money back up and put it back in her purse.

"Thank you," she murmured quietly, while closing her bag up.

I smiled. "Your welcome."

She looked back up somberly. "Edward it was really, really great seeing you again. I'm glad to see you're doing so well and…"

She smiled, but for some reason, this time it didn't seem to quite reach her eyes. Slowly, she lifted one hand and cupped my cheek. My skin burned in the most wonderful way under her touch. A memory hit me full force, of the last time Bella had placed her hands on my face, over six years ago. I'd thought that moment was the beginning of something wonderful between Bella and me.

Until Mike Newton had shown up.

"Take care of yourself okay?" Bella said softly. Her chocolate eyes locked me in.

I gazed at her, but couldn't make myself answer.

Finally, she broke our gaze and shifted in her seat, waiting for me to get up and let her out.

But I couldn't. I couldn't give her up. Not yet. Not again.

Yes, she was engaged. Yes, she belonged to someone else. But I had to keep her in my life somehow.

"Bella, do you seriously have your heart set on bartending?"

She furrowed her brows and shrugged. "I've heard you can make good money. And it'll leave my days free to keep looking for something more…permanent."

"Look…I know your interview with Victoria didn't go very well but…if you want the job…"

She gave me a surprised look. "Thanks Edward, but I don't really think that's a good idea. I'm sure Victoria is a great person but…I don't think she and I hit it off very well, and…I think it would just be awkward..."

"Don't worry about Victoria. If you really want the job-"

She placed a warm hand on my shoulder and cut me off. "Thanks Edward. Really. But I'd rather not."

I nodded slowly. Another idea suddenly hit me.

"Well if you don't want to work at Eclipse, why don't you let me talk to a friend who owns another club around here? I think he's been looking for an extra bartender too."

It was sort of true. I'd heard Jasper Whitlock and his sister Rosalie were also looking for another bartender. Not a good sign for my club, because if they needed more help, it meant they were busy.

But right then, it didn't matter what their need for another bartender meant for my club. All that mattered was helping Bella.

"What friend?" she asked.

I told her about Jasper, leaving out the part where we weren't really friends, and our respective clubs were in the middle of a bitter competition with each other.

"Why don't you let me give him a call?" I suggested.

She bit her lip thoughtfully. "If you don't mind calling him and finding out if he's still got the position open, then sure, thanks."

I excused myself to the back of the diner to make the call.

Jasper Whitlock's club, Nitelock, was a live band club where small, unknown groups went to play their music for a live crowd. He'd opened up about a year after us, and although we were two totally different types of clubs, usually on a weekend night if the crowd wasn't at my club, they were at his.

"Well if it isn't the reigning king of the Seattle nightlife. What do you want Cullen?" Jasper answered. "It's Open Mike Night and we're pretty busy."

I snorted. "I'll make this quick then. I hate to keep you from the handful of people waiting to hear Seattle's best talent right now."

He chuckled. "Asshole."

Jasper and I weren't exactly friends, but we weren't really enemies either. Regardless of the competition between our clubs, we'd developed a mutual business-related respect for each other.

"Listen, I heard you're looking to hire another bartender?"

"Why, you applyin' for the job?" he snickered.

I smirked. "No, but I think I might have somebody for you."

Now he snorted. "Yeah, because I'd hire someone you recommended."

"What? You think she's going to show up with a hidden camera under her shirt or something?"

"I wouldn't put it past you."

"Look, she's a…good friend of mine, and she needs the job."

"Then why don't you hire her? I know you're looking for another bartender too."

I hesitated before answering. "She and Vic didn't hit it off."

Jasper chuckled. "Let me guess. You glanced her way one too many times during the interview, and the Ice Queen took offense," he taunted.

I didn't answer.

Jasper drew in a deep breath. For a few moments neither one of us said anything.

"Look, bring her over but I'm not promisin' anythin'. You got your Ice Queen that needs to approve your hires, I gots my sister Rose. Your friend's gotta pass muster with her before we can talk business, and I can assure you the fact that she was recommended by _you_ has already put a strike in her corner as far as Rose is concerned." He chuckled. "Though the fact that the Ice Queen didn't take a likin' to her might be enough to eighty six that strike."

I thanked him quickly and made my way back to Bella, who was sitting patiently at the booth, finishing up her coffee. She turned around when she heard me coming, dazzling me with her smile and almost freezing me in my tracks. _That_ was the smile I hadn't let myself think of in years. The smile that I _still_ saw every goddamned night in my dreams. And just like that, we were back in high school all over again, and she was my only anchor to sanity; to reality.

"How'd it go?" she asked, once I slid into the booth across from her. I couldn't trust myself to sit next to her again. Just looking at her left me shaking.

I swallowed thickly before speaking. "They'll see you tonight, if it's not too late for you?"

She rolled her eyes and smirked. "Edward, I'm looking for a job as a nightclub bartender. I think I'd better get used to late hours."

She was right about that.

Jasper's club was only a few short blocks away, so after paying the bill, I offered to walk her.

"But shouldn't you be getting back to your own club?" Bella asked worriedly once we were outside again. "I mean, it's not that I don't want you walking with me, but that phone call before sounded pretty important…"

She bit her lip, and once again I was eighteen all over again, and all I wanted from life was to be able to bend my mouth down to hers and take that lip between my teeth.

Instead, I shrugged carelessly, standing next to her and jerking my head in the direction of Jasper's club. "They can manage without me for a little longer. Come on."

She eyed me curiously for a couple of seconds, and then her features softened, making her look younger and innocent, just like the sixteen year old I'd last seen over six years ago. She started walking with me.

In the back of my mind, I knew she was right. I should've been making my way back to Eclipse by now. Victoria and Emmett were probably waiting for me, especially with the X incident, but it would've taken much more than illegal drugs to pull me away from Bella at that moment.

Victoria and Emmett would work it out without me.

Unlike Eclipse, there were no bouncers at the door at Nitelock. Anyone with or without a guitar in hand could get into that joint. I tried to hide my grimace as we walked through the doors. The sound of drums and acoustic guitars reverberated throughout the dark place. Apparently, there was no dress code up in here. Although most people looked cleaned up, at least half of the crowd was in jeans and t-shirts. I snorted quietly to myself as I placed my hand on the small of Bella's back and guided her through the dim and loud room. More than half of the people here would've been turned away at the red rope over at my place.

Before we even made it half way through, a blonde in skinny jeans and a short black tee that showed off her toned midriff appeared before us.

It was Jasper's sister, Rosalie.

"That's far enough Cullen," she said, loud enough for me to hear over the band playing on-stage. Her red lips were turned up in a scowl. "Jasper told me you were bringin' someone for us to interview for the bartender position, and I was just comin' out to meet you. No reason for you to be in here."

I narrowed my eyes at her. The couple of times my path had crossed with Rosalie Whitlock had taught me that she was as tough and direct as she was beautiful. Though not my type at all. Like Emmett and I, she ran this place with her brother. If we were the Kings of Seattle Nightlife, Jasper and Rosalie were the Duke and Duchess, aspiring for the throne.

"Jesus, what the hell do you and your brother think, that I'm on some sort of spy mission or some shit? Trust me, I haven't seen anything in here so far that I'd want to imitate or copy back at my place."

I looked around with deliberate derision.

She placed her hands on her hips and glared at me.

"Get. The fuck. Out. Now."

Another head of blond hair suddenly appeared behind her. Jasper's blue eyes shone above his sister's head. He looked amused as he took in his sister's stance.

"Cullen, you irritatin' my sister already?"

She turned her head to the side at his voice.

"He's gotta go Jasper. There's no reason for him to stay."

"What if I want to finish hearing that band up there now? They sound pretty good actually."

She smirked. "Trust me, you wouldn't know good music if it leapt up and bit you in that perfect little ass of yours."

I chuckled.

"All you know," she continued, "is that cacophony of synthesizers and bass that pass for music up in your place. You know nothing of acoustic-"

"That's not true," Bella cut in firmly. "Edward plays the guitar. Don't you Edward?"

I stared at her, surprised she'd remembered that. It had been a long time since I'd last touched my guitar. I'd messed around with it a bit back in college, but if I recalled correctly, right now it sat in the back of my closet at home, collecting dust. Once, that guitar had been my most prized possession. But in the past few years, reality had kicked in, and other things took priority over a dream that would've never come true. It had always felt bittersweet to play that guitar anyway; it reminded me of things that, until tonight, I'd thought I'd preferred to forget.

Bella's comment got the attention of Rosalie and her brother. The former looked her up and down with undisguised curiosity; the latter, with open admiration.

A little fucking too much open admiration.

Before I could answer Bella, Jasper quickly moved in front of his sister, turning his full attention to Bella. He smiled widely at her, his blue eyes twinkling.

"You must be Edward's friend." He stuck out his hand. Bella smiled back and reached out to take it. I gritted my teeth, not missing the way Jasper placed his other hand over hers, white teeth gleaming in the smoky haze. His smile widened.

I started to rethink the cleverness of bringing Bella here.

"Hi. I'm Bella Swan," she said pleasantly.

"_Bel-la,"_ Jasper practically hummed. "That means beautiful doesn't it?" he asked, without releasing her hand.

Even through the smoke and dim lighting in this shitty dump, I could see the blush spreading across Bella's cheeks. "So I've been told," she said with a shrug.

"I bet you've also been told you do your name more than enough justice."

She smiled and blushed a darker shade of red, looking down quickly before looking back up.

What. The. Fuck?

Yeah. This was seriously one of the stupidest fucking ideas I'd ever had.

Rosalie exhaled and rolled her eyes. "Oh brother," she muttered loudly. "Jazz, can you please stop flirting with the potential new hire? We need to find somebody else to help out before my grad classes start next week."

Jasper chuckled and finally released Bella's hands. That was when I realized I'd been holding my breath, and how tightly I'd had my own hands curled into fists at my sides.

Slowly, he managed to tear his eyes away from her and turned to look at me.

"Cullen, seriously, thank you so much for bringing Bella over." He clapped me on the shoulder. "I'll take it from here," he winked meaningfully.

I narrowed my eyes at him, nostrils flaring. "Actually, I'm starting to think this shitty place of yours is too-"

But Bella turned to face me now. She took a step closer and leaned into me, lifting her lips to my ear.

"Edward, thanks for bringing me over." The warmth of her breath washed over my neck, raising goose bumps on my flesh. Then she pulled away slightly and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. She pulled back all the way and looked at me intently.

"It was great to see you again," she said.

And before I could respond, Rosalie turned her around. "Come on," she said, jerking her head towards the bar, "Let's go see what you can do."

With one final glance in my direction, Bella walked away with Rosalie.

I watched her drift further away from me, my heart thumping painfully against my ribs, before I noticed Jasper's eyes on her too, focusing on the way her small hips moved delicately from side to side as she went.

"She's engaged asshole," I hissed through my teeth, unable to control my reaction.

Jasper turned and looked at me, surprise written in his features. After a few seconds, he gave me a laid-back smile, lifting his brows.

"Engaged doesn't mean married," he said with an impish grin. "She's still fair game."

I stalked up to him, squaring my jaw. When I stopped, my face was just inches from his. We were both about the same height, a couple of inches over six feet.

"She is _not_ a fucking game Jasper," I growled. "I brought her over to see if you had a job for her. Nothing. Else."

At first, Jasper looked more startled than anything. He frowned, his blue eyes searching mine. Abruptly, he pursed his lips and nodded, taking a step back.

His tone was less playful, his eyes harder, when he answered.

"Rose'll see if we can use her. Thanks again Cullen." He stared at me a moment longer, and then suddenly his expression lost some of its hardness.

"Now you really do have to get the steppin' man, before my sister comes and drags your ass out herself."

I glared hard at him for a few seconds, and then looked around the dark club. I had to admit, everyone appeared to be really enjoying themselves. Not that they didn't back at my place, but I fucking knew what my club was about. It was a place to go show off your body, your dancing skills, get drunk and hopefully hook up with someone before the night was over. Here, people looked like they were actually enjoying the entertainment, the bands, their friends. Back at my place, the music, the friendships, they were all secondary to the game: leaving with the most beautiful person you could manage.

With a nod in his direction, I turned to leave.

It wasn't until I was halfway down the street that I realized I'd never gotten a phone number, an address, anything from Bella that would help me find her again.

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews are better than smoky clubs. Leave one**.


	7. Chapter 7 Edge of Night

**A/N: Just a reminder. Edward is not a perfect man in this story. He is physically beautiful, but it may have come at a price. I know some of you had some concerns about him in your reviews.**

**Okay, these first few chapters have been some necessary background info. But I think we've built our foundation for the story. We're still on track for about 20 or so chapters.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with Edward in my own little world.**

**Ch. 7 – Edge of Night**

Chapter Song Rec: _One Last Breath_ by Creed

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><p>Knees and arms bent, hands fisted at my sides, I struck one hand out quickly, flattening it out and pointing it as straight as a dagger as it went. The air whooshed around my hand, as if being sliced in two.<p>

"Yaahh!"

Slowly, I twisted my wrist all the way around, in slow motion, before flattening both palms quickly against my thigh and jumping on one foot before kicking out with the other.

"Hah!"

I twisted around at lightning speed, jumped and kicked again. The great words of the Grand Master rang out loudly across the mirrored martial arts school.

'_In victory, be humble. In defeat, be strong. In all things be fair.'_

I bent my knee and kicked out repeatedly, balancing myself on my other foot.

"Hayahh!"

My abs burned, muscles in my arms and legs tightened, beads of sweat trickled slowly down the side of my face. I repeated my form and chanted in my head.

'_In Victory be humble. In defeat, be strong. In all things be fair.'_

'_Edward, thanks for bringing me over. It was great to see you again.'_

'_Edward, thanks for bringing me over. It was great to see you again.'_

Fuck!

I closed my eyes tightly, striking with my hands, kicking with my legs, anything and everything to block _her_ out; the feel of her jumping into my arms, her depthless eyes, her honey voice, the feel of her lips against my cheek, her sweet, unique scent washing over me, as potent in my memories as it had been a week ago, when I'd seen her last.

'_I'm engaged.'_

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Frustrated, I finished off my form and with a stiff nod towards the Grand Master and the handful of black belts still on the floor I made my way to the shower room.

It wasn't working. Nothing I'd tried over the past week had worked of clearing my mind of Bella. She was in everything I did, in every dream I dreamt, in every face I saw throughout my days. As pointless as it was, she was everywhere.

I washed off all the sweat and rinsed myself off under the hot spray of water pounding down over my head and shoulders. The other evening with Bella replayed itself in my head over and over, as it had for the past seven days. Gripping my hair in both hands, I leaned up against the cold tiles, resting my forehead against them.

Goddamnit. Seven days later, the fact that Isabella Swan was engaged was still eating away at me. I had no idea why. I mean, I hadn't seen the girl in over six years. We hadn't kept in touch then, and there was no reason to do so now. For what? To torture myself? It was like dangling a bone in front of a dog; the most fucking beautiful and delicious bone you could ever imagine, and telling the dog he couldn't have it; another asshole dog already had dibs on it.

Why put the poor fucking creature through the torture?

I dried myself off and haphazardly tied my towel around my hips, walking to my locker and dressing for tonight. I'd had enough of this shit. I'd been mopey and more irritable than usual this past week. When I'd gotten back to the club last week after leaving Bella at Jasper's club, I'd returned to a very pissed off Victoria and a not-quite-as-pissed-off-but-still-puzzled Emmett. They'd already taken care of the asshole with the X, and while Emmett had just dropped it when I'd told him I'd had something to do, Victoria had glared hard at me before picking up her purse and walking out of the club.

Whatever.

The last thing on my mind had been appeasing Victoria. For the last week, she'd come into work and handled the business without speaking more than a handful of words to me; only addressing me when necessary. I knew what she was probably thinking; that I'd been off fucking around. And while the truth was anything but that, I had no interest in clearing things up for her. She sat as queen de facto of the hottest nightclub in Seattle; it was a position and a title she lived for. As long as that didn't change, she'd come around.

But tonight I'd had enough. I'd been walking around with a tight knot in my chest for a week now and it was time to shake this shit off already. I'd gotten over Isabella Swan and her bottomless eyes and beautiful smile and sweet voice once before, I could do it again.

Emmett and one of the deejays for the night were discussing the music in the still silent club when I arrived. We had a couple of hours until opening, so I headed upstairs to my office. When I reached it, I heard Victoria behind the door.

"Look at these goddamned receipts. Down almost ten percent from six months ago!" she yelled.

I stepped into the office without knocking. The five bartenders she'd lined up in front of her turned to look at me with looks ranging from wary to downright pissed. The new girl to the group, Gianna, a short little blond we'd hired a few days ago, looked like she was ready to shit herself.

"What's going on?" I asked, furrowing my brows and glancing between the bartenders and Victoria.

"Look at these receipts," Victoria said angrily, waving a pile of papers my way. "Our liquor sales are down almost ten percent in the past six months. The top shelf liquors are the biggest declines!" She waved an angry hand towards our bar staff. "I don't know what these clowns are selling down there, but it's taking a toll on the bottom line!"

I took the receipts from her and gave them a quick glance. She was right. I didn't have a calculator in front of me, but a quick glance at the charts and the numbers showed me that liquor sales had been slowly declining in the past few months.

I exhaled and threw the papers down on my desk, running a hand through my hair. The bar staff eyed me warily.

"What the hell is going on down there guys?" I asked. "You know you're supposed to be pushing the top shelf."

Alec, head of our bar staff, spoke up for his team.

"We can't force top shelf on the customers. Times are hard boss. People aren't spending the way they used to. Not even at clubs."

"People will always spend top dollar to impress!" Vicki answered, her cheeks burning as red as her hair. "That's what we're all about here, impressing. It's your job," Vicky said, pointing an accusatory red fingernail at each bar staff member individually, making Gianna cringe, "to help them do that! Make suggestions! Earn your fucking tips and wages!"

I set my lips in a tight line. "Hold on Vic," I said, putting one hand up, palm out towards her. Her blue eyes shot daggers at me before she threw her hands up and turned to face the window.

"Alec," I began, in a less accusatory tone than Vicki's, but with a firmness that reminded him who the boss was up in here. "I realize times are hard, but it's not our place to worry about how our patrons are going to pay their rent, or whether they'll be able to make their car payments next month. We're here to make money, just like every other business in this country." I pointed my index finger at him. "You push that top shelf, and you let them worry about how they're going to pay for it. Understood?"

Alec stared icily at me for a moment before nodding once. No, I wasn't his favorite person, but I didn't give a fuck. He didn't have to like me, but he had to do as I said.

"What's going on here?"

I looked up and saw Emmett standing by the open door, his signature grin in place though he wore a puzzled expression.

"Having a meeting I wasn't invited to?" he asked half-jokingly. While I usually ran the business end of things, Emmett was usually the one to hold meetings with the employees. Specifically to prevent scenes like the one that had just occurred in my office.

I explained the problem to Emmett and showed him the papers Vicki had shown me. But instead of frowning and getting upset the way I had, Emmett handed the papers back to me and chuckled.

"C'mon bro, you can't expect our liquor sales not to take a small dip with the way the economy's going."

"Ten percent is a bit more than just a dip Emmett," I said.

He snorted. "Edward, those are six month averages. I'm sure it'll all even out at the end of the year."

I glanced at the bar staff before I spoke. Though their faces were mainly blank, I could swear I noted a touch of smugness in Alec's features. I squared my shoulders.

"You're missing the point Em-"

"No Edward," Emmett said. Though he was still smiling, there was a seriousness in his tone that belied the smile. His eyes trailed to Victoria, where he rested his gaze for ten seconds before turning his eyes back to me. "I think you're missing the point. It's a bad market right now, and I'm sure these guys," he nodded his head towards the bar staff, "are doing the best they can. Now all we can ask from them is to keep it up."

He turned towards Alec and the rest of the bar staff. "Thanks guys. Why don't you all go get ready? Doors'll be opening up in about an hour."

They all nodded at Emmett and mumbled 'thanks' and 'will dos' before walking out.

Once they were gone, Emmett turned back to me. "Edward, can I see you in my office for a minute?"

"I'll be right there," I answered. He nodded and walked out, closing my door behind him.

When I turned around, Victoria was standing in front of my desk with her eyes trained on the door and a grimace on her face.

Emmett and Victoria were not each other's favorite people.

But right now, I wasn't worried about their level of friendship. And now that the whole issue regarding the liquor receipts was squashed, I couldn't care less about that either. Tonight I was going to distract myself and finally get my mind off of Bella, once and for all.

With a crooked grin in place I walked over to Victoria. The grimace didn't leave her face, though a familiar fire burned in her eyes. I lifted my arms to her shoulders but she shoved them away.

I chuckled and tried again. "C'mon baby. You're gonna play hard to get now?"

She shoved my arms away again. "First you fucking disappear for two hours last week, now you just stand there while your brother basically tells the bar staff to tell me to fuck off! What the fuck Edward?"

This time, when she tried to shove my arms away I grabbed hold of both her wrists and pinned her arms down to the top of my desk. She made a half-assed attempt to wriggle free.

"Relax Vicki. You take this shit too seriously sometimes." She kept fighting me, but it was obviously just a game to her now. "Anyway," I murmured, letting my eyes trail slowly down her body. She shuddered. "I think it's time that you and I…made up."

"Fuck you Edward," she hissed, but a slow smile crept over her lips.

"Exactly," I smiled crookedly, lowering my mouth to the exposed part of her chest and biting and licking my way across. She moaned and stopped fighting. Suddenly her hands were in my hair, pulling it wildly. I closed my eyes, trying to lose myself in the moment. But something felt wrong…

"Edward," she breathed, spreading her legs open so that I could situate myself between them. "You're fucking lucky you look the way you do, otherwise I wouldn't give you the time of day."

Her words stopped me cold.

What would Victoria's reaction to me have been six years ago, when I was nothing but a zit-faced, four-eyed, geek? Would she still be here in this office with me, spreading her legs and knotting her fingers in my hair?

I snorted and backed away from her. I was pretty sure I knew the answer to that. There'd only been one female in my life who hadn't run away from me then. She'd been my friend, regardless of how I'd looked.

_I'd_ run away from _her_. Because I couldn't take the fact that, even though I didn't disgust her, she didn't want me the way I'd wanted her. So I'd thrown our friendship away, and I was throwing that friendship away again, for the same goddamned reason.

Victoria watched me, her forehead wrinkling. "What is it Edward?" Her breathing had become erratic, expectant.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of all thoughts of _her_ again, and attempted an easy smile.

"Nothing. But the club's going to be opening soon. I don't think we have time-"

She cut me off, chuckling in a husky voice. "Bullshit." Her hands went to the top button on my pants. "It'll only take five minutes."

For three seconds, I let her continue, listening to the sound of my zipper being lowered. And then my hand was over hers, and firmly, with a smile still on my face, I pulled her hand away.

'_What the fuck?'_ a little voice originating from down south protested. _'Why the fuck are you stopping her?' _But suddenly the thought of a quickie in my office disgusted me.

What the fuck was happening to me? What the hell happened to distracting myself? Steeling myself with blind determination, I grabbed Victoria's hips and pulled her forcefully against me. She gasped.

"Not now baby," I said languidly, trying to disguise the turmoil gripping my mind. A flash of anger flickered in her eyes. I chuckled and then leaned down to her ear, blowing in it once. "It's been over a week Victoria. I don't want a five minute quickie. I want to take you in a proper bed and fuck you long and hard, until you scream my name over…and over again."

She shuddered against me, clinging onto my hair as if for dear life. When I pulled back and looked at her face, I smirked. She looked as if she'd already gotten a head start on her own.

"Come over to my place later?" she asked shakily.

Distract yourself Cullen. Get _her_ out of your system.

"I'll be there."

Once I'd left Victoria back in my office to get herself together, I walked into Emmett's office. He was working away on his laptop. When he saw me enter, he smiled widely and threw his long legs over his desk, leaning into his swivel chair and resting his head on his hands.

"What's up Emmett?" I asked.

He stared at me long and hard before answering with a question of his own.

"How are you doing Edward?"

I shrugged. "I'm fine."

He studied me again.

"You sure? 'Cause you've seemed sort of…distracted lately."

I snorted and shook my head.

_No. I'm __**trying**__ to get distracted. That's the problem._

"What?" he smirked, reading the expression on my face. "What is it Edward?"

I shook my head again. "Nothing."

He pursed his lips, and searched my eyes once more.

"Fine Edward. Look, I just wanted to remind you of something, seeing as your Ice Queen over there" – he jerked his head towards the door – "doesn't seem to know this. You and I bought this club to have fun Edward. I mean yeah, we wanted to make a living in the process, and fuck, I'd say we're doing pretty good at that."

He was right. Emmett had a cool apartment close to here, in a warehouse that had been converted into huge lofts. And I lived in a high-rise not too far away. We were doing pretty well by any measures.

"This place ain't some Wall Street bank where each dip and groove in business needs to be examined and dissected from each and every angle," he went on, lowering his legs from his desk so that he could sit up and lean forward in his seat. "This is a club. A dance club. And there will be good days and not-so-good days. But so long as we remember why we're here, and we treat those that help us keep this place going with the respect they deserve, it'll all even out. You catch my drift?" he asked pointedly.

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "Yeah Emmett. I get it."

"Do you Edward? 'Cause lately you've been a real asshole."

Yeah. Emmett usually called them as he saw them.

I stared back blankly. He leaned back and threw his feet over his desk again.

"Look, I'm not gonna tell you where to stick your dick Edward. But just because you're fucking her, doesn't mean you have to let her turn you into a fucking ice statue, like she is."

"She knows the business Em. She's been working nightclubs for much longer than you or I have."

"I wasn't asking you about her business sense little brother."

When I didn't say anything, he asked something else.

"Where were you last week Edward, when you disappeared for a couple of hours? You've been funny since then."

I looked past him. "I told you, I had to take care of something."

Emmett kept staring at me. After a couple of minutes, I couldn't avoid his gaze any more.

"I…I bumped into an old friend."

He narrowed his eyes. "The short brunette you were looking for when you ran outta here last week like your ass was on fire?"

I kept my face blank. "Yeah. Yeah, the short brunette."

He was silent for a while. "And?"

"And nothing. We had a cup of coffee." I shrugged. "She was looking for a job…as a bartender."

He gave me a puzzled frown.

"Vicki interviewed her and wasn't impressed," I said dryly.

He nodded slowly. "_Ahh_."

"So I took her over to Jasper Whitlock's place."

He chuckled and leaned forward in his seat. "You took her to the competition?"

I shrugged defensively. "She's a friend and needed a job. I don't know if she got it anyway." I tried to say that last part as if I didn't care one way or the other, but wasn't sure if I succeeded.

He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. The question he did ask didn't seem to be the one he'd been about to.

"Who is this friend of yours anyway? Do I know her?"

Emmett knew most of my friends, if only because I hadn't really had any until I'd moved to Seattle

"I'm not sure. She's from back when I was in high school." Emmett's eyebrow arched up. "Bella…uh Isabella Swan. She was a freshman when I was a junior."

He narrowed his eyes tightly before widening them in recollection.

"Swan. You mean the police chief's little girl?"

I smirked. "Well she was only a couple of years younger than me, but yeah, that's her."

He smiled widely. "Bella Swan, Bella Swan," he repeated, rubbing his chin. "She was a kid, but a kinda cute one if I remember correctly."

I shrugged and made no comment.

Emmett stared at me thoughtfully. "So she was your friend in high school."

"Yeah," I said simply.

He nodded slowly, and then wriggling his brows, he bent his arms at the elbows and fisted his hands, moving them back and forth a couple of times while thrusting his hips up. "How good a friend?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just a friend Emmett. You know how shit was for me in high school."

Emmett's usually upbeat expression darkened. I'd never told Emmett about all the teasing and shit in high school, but I got the feeling he'd suspected. Back then, when he'd come for visits from college, before he'd leave he'd always tell me to let him know if anyone was fucking with me so he could take care of them. But I never did.

Hey, I may have been a geeky motherfucker, but I wasn't a pussy.

"Yeah well," he knit his brows, "maybe if you'd taken down that fucking Yoda poster…"

I smirked. "The fucking poster had nothing to do with it."

"Sure it did," Emmett laughed. "What girl was gonna wanna ride you with that little green-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said impatiently. "Because taking down the poster would've magically turned me into someone more fuckable."

Emmett snickered. "Dude, you were tall, complicated, brooding, you played the fucking guitar," he enumerated on his fingers, "_and_ you wrote your own goddamn music! And to top it all off, you were blessed with the Cullen jaw. Chicks can't resist the Cullen jaw," he said, running a hand over his own jaw line. "You would've played your cards right you could've had a different girl riding you every night. Take this Bella Swan for example-"

"No," I said through clenched teeth. "Don't fucking go there Em. She wasn't like that."

Emmett stopped laughing, but the smile stayed in place. He stared at me for a long while, searching my eyes.

"I see," he said with an arched brow.

I stared back at him before running one hand through my hair.

"Look, yeah, I sorta had a thing for her back in high school, but that was just because…because she was decent to me."

He nodded his head slowly, as if understanding what I wasn't saying. "So once you started college and started getting laid regularly, you forgot about her?"

"Yeah," I said a little too quickly. I closed my eyes and exhaled heavily. "Yeah," I lied. Because although I'd try to outrun the memory of her, it had been there. It may have been buried deeply, but it had been there the whole time.

Emmett nodded again. The look in his eyes said he saw right through the lie, but for once, he wasn't going to call me out on it. Not directly anyway.

"So she's working at Jasper's place now, huh?"

I shrugged and shook my head. "Like I said before, I don't really know. I haven't seen or spoken to her since that night, a week ago. I didn't get her number or anything, so I don't really have any way to get in touch with her."

I shrugged, still trying to pretend it didn't matter to me, but the look on Emmett's face told me I wasn't fooling anyone.

He crossed his feet over his desk. "Sure you do, if you really wanted to. Just go down to Whitlock's club and see if she's there. If she's not, there's always-"

"Em," I cut him off, leaning forward in my seat, "It doesn't matter anyway. She's…she's engaged, so…"

Emmett's eyes widened and he jerked his head back. His expression turned serious, before suddenly breaking out into a hearty laugh. I glared at him.

"So fucking what?" he asked, still laughing. "As long as there's no wedding ring on her finger, that don't mean shit."

I set my mouth in a straight line and shook my head, staring just beyond him again.

"Look," he said, "You've been a fucking mess these past few days Edward. And now you tell me you bumped into this long, lost friend of yours, and in five minutes you switch from telling me you couldn't give less of a shit, to whining about her being engaged. Which is it? Does she still affect you or doesn't she?"

"I…" – I drew in a deep breath and fisted my hair in one hand. "Look, it was just the surprise of seeing her again so suddenly, that's all. I had a stupid thing for her in high school, and seeing her again just brought all that back in a rush. But," I lifted one shoulder and dropped it, "it doesn't mean anything. _She_ doesn't mean anything." But even as I said the words, my heart constricted painfully. "If I ever meet her again, I'll be ready, and it won't matter. Things are different now. _I'm_ different, and girls…well, I don't have to limit myself anymore, right? There are plenty of fish in the sea for me now."

Emmett raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that?"

I inhaled deeply and let it all out in one large gust. "Yeah. Yeah I'm sure about that."

OOOOOOOOOO

A few hours later, the club was jumping. The deejay pumped the music loudly over the sound system; strobes of light bounced all around the darkened rooms, bodies swayed, hips moved and ground together on and off the dance floor, hands touched and groped. A typical night.

I stood off to one side of the large dance floor, watching the swarm of people moving against one another. My head bobbed to the beat of the glaring synthesizers while I weighed my options.

I could stay here off to the side, or I could join in the melee. On the one hand, if I were going to thoroughly distract myself, the middle of the dance floor was the place to be. As soon as I started walking, eyes would follow me and arms and hands would reach out for me, more than ready and willing to be my companion for the night, both on and off the dance floor. Yeah, it would piss Vicki off, but everything pissed Vicki off. I was more than aware of how to make her happy again.

It was Vicki that answered my dilemma for me. Before I could walk out on the dance floor, she snaked quietly behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, letting her hands fall purposely to the front of my pants. In the dim lighting of the club, cupping and groping was something that happened regularly.

She lifted her face to right below my ear. "I'm leaving for the night. Are you coming home with me?"

And since distraction was the name of the game tonight, the answer should've been a quick and simple yes. I should've taken her home and fucked her brains out, and put brown hair and brown eyes out of my head for the next six years.

Instead, I lowered my head and spoke in her ear. "I'm going to stick around 'til closing tonight and finish up some work upstairs." Her arms stiffened around me, the hand she had on my dick freezing in place. The part of me still fighting and resisting took her earlobe into my mouth, sucking on it. Her arms turned to jelly and her hand gripped me harder, more insistently.

"Edward…"

"Why don't you head to your place and take a nice" – I let my tongue flick inside her ear – "long, bath? I'll meet you there after closing."

"Oh Eddie," she moaned desperately, making my eyes roll. I hated when she called me that. "But I need it _now_."

"Relax," I coaxed, while skimming her neck with my nose, "we've got the rest of the night and all morning."

The good thing about working nights was having the days free to do whatever you needed, or wanted.

She chuckled throatily. "You're right. See you in a couple of hours?"

I nodded against her neck, feeling her shiver.

Emmett found me a short while later, leaning against the back wall, still staring out at the dance floor.

With his hands stuck in his pockets, he leaned in and spoke loud enough for me to hear.

"So why didn't you leave with your Ice Queen?"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the crowd and bobbing my head distractedly. Through my periphery I could see the way my brother studied me.

He leaned in again with determination.

"You say she just took you by surprise. Well this time you'll know exactly what to expect; what she looks like now, where she'll probably be. This time _you'll_ have the element of surprise, and you can get one last look and get her out of your system. Then you can go back to enjoying your life, fucking whoever you want, and quit it with this brooding shit."

He pulled away and stared at me.

OOOOOOOOOO

I walked back into Nitelock easily; no one outside to make sure I was dressed properly, or had the right look necessary to maintain the correct atmosphere. Not that the Edward Cullen I'd become since college would ever get turned away from anything.

Still, my palms felt sweaty, and my pulse raced in my veins as I made my way through the dim room, music very different from the club I'd just come from blaring through huge speakers on stage; acoustic guitars and drums and percussions. The kind of music I'd once enjoyed, but which I rarely listened to now. I had bass and synthesizers blaring against my ears all night; the last thing I wanted during the day was to listen to something else.

Emmett was right. I just needed one last look to get her out of my system. The last time had been so unexpected, such a surprise, that my brain hadn't known how to react. Everything I'd felt six years ago had just resurfaced with a vengeance. She probably wasn't even as beautiful as I'd imagined her to be last week. Her smile probably wasn't brilliant at all. Her eyes were probably just two dull brown orbs, and her hair was probably just some messy mop piled in a loose, careless ponytail.

I'd imagined it all. I'd seen her through the eyes of Crusty Cullen; sad, pitiful geek who'd crushed on the only girl who'd given him the time of day in high school. But I wasn't Crusty Cullen anymore. I didn't have to limit myself to moderately cute short brunettes. The Edward Cullen of the present could have _anyone_ he wanted.

Now, _I_ was ready. _I_ had the element of surprise I hadn't had the last two times in my life that I'd seen Bella. _Now_ - if she was even here - I'd see her for what she really was. Just a girl. A plain, pale girl who I'd happened to go to high school with, who I'd bumped into last week, and who happened to be engaged to some asshole. My heart beat wildly in my chest. Yeah, seeing her would stop all this. My moods, my craziness, the trembling in my hands. I could finally go back to-

And then…there she was.

Behind the bar, working a blender with Rosalie saying something to her in her ear. Even from here, I could see the small crease that formed between her eyes as she listened intently, and the way her beautiful, silky hair cascaded loosely at her sides before she reached up and stuck it in a quick pony tail. And when she lifted her head, her eyes immediately met mine. Beautiful, rich, bottomless eyes. Full of secrets and promises.

She smiled when she saw me. Not a small, tentative smile. But a huge, heart-wrenching, soulful smile full of joy and relief, as if she'd been feeling the same pain I'd been feeling all week.

That was how I knew.

_I_ was hers.

_She_ may have belonged to someone else, but I was hers six years ago, and I was still hers today. Without even knowing how I got there, I stood across from her, up at the bar. Her chocolate eyes held my gaze. When she sighed, they twinkled like two dark stars, pulling me into their orbit.

"You came," she mouthed over the loud drumming onstage.

I stared at her, unable to look away, unable to deny myself the pleasure of her eyes and her smile any longer, regardless of how long it lasted, or who the pleasure should've belonged to.

I breathed in deeply, inhaling the sweet scent coming off her hair and her skin.

"Of course," I mouthed back, reaching out instinctively to smooth a stray lock of hair out of her face. Searing heat burned me like the flames of a wildfire; scorching everywhere my hand came in contact with her. Bella closed her eyes momentarily and leaned into my touch. She opened them back up, smiling tenderly.

I sighed, unable and unwilling to disguise the truth of my words.

"Of course I came."

**A/N: No. Edward is not perfect. **

**Okay, this was still some background info. Next few chapters will concentrate on E & B re-connecting.**

**Reviews are better than bitchy red-heads. Leave one.**

**See you next week!**


	8. Chapter 8  The Breakfast Club

**A/N: All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing around with Edward in my own little world.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8 – The Breakfast Club<strong>

**Chapter Song Recs: - I Still Believe – Brenda K. Starr  
><strong>** Never Say Never – The Fray**

Bella moved behind the bar quickly but with the shaky confidence of someone still new to the job. Tentative smiles accompanied plenty of lip biting and forehead creases. Every few seconds, while unscrewing a beer bottle, or while pouring a tap, her eyes would flash to me, and then tentative smiles would turn into huge grins. She mouthed the words to the song the band was playing on stage, tapping her foot to the beat while she waited for a glass mug to fill up from the beer tap.

The Nitelock bar staff uniform apparently consisted of jeans and a short black tee with the words Nitelock in bright orange, like a neon sign, and the phone number and address in smaller letters under it. Pretty Tasteless. But Bella's perfectly flat midriff peeked out from under the short tee every time she moved around or reached up on the shelves for one of the bottles of liquor, which pretty much negated the shirt's tackiness. And based on the not-so-covert stares some of the guys around the bar were giving her, as well as Rosalie and the other female bartender, I wasn't the only one who thought so.

Assholes.

Me? I sat and stared like a man who'd been denied his fix for far too long. It made no difference that I'd gone over six years without seeing her, or that I had absolutely no idea where this was going or what in the name of all that was holy I was doing here. Lacking the ability of deep reflection, I sat and stared some more. Bella laughed and smiled my way. For the moment, that was all that mattered.

Bella handed out one more beer, and seeing that everyone was taken care of, wiped her hands on a towel and made her way back over to me. Wide grin still in place, she rested her arms over the bar and leaned over.

"So did you decide what you wanted yet?" she asked, loud enough for me to hear over the band.

_You. _

"Why don't you surprise me?" I said, slapping my palms over the bar.

She studied me, her big brown eyes sparkling.

"Hmm," she murmured, bringing a finger up to her lips thoughtfully. "You don't look like a Margarita kind of guy."

I chuckled. "Definitely not."

She tilted her head to the side. "Cosmo?"

"Hell no."

She laughed. "Then I know _exactly_ what you'd like."

_In my dreams_.

"Really?"

With a grin, she pulled a tumbler out and added ice to it before turning around and reaching high on the shelves and exposing the lower half of her smooth back to me. I closed my eyes for a second and drew in a steady breath.

"Here you go," she said, handing over the drink.

I took the tumbler from her and let my hand linger over hers for a few seconds longer than necessary. She bit her lip while I took a drink.

"So how is it?" she asked.

"It's great."

It was a little weak.

Bella let out a visible sigh of relief. She was about to say something when another damned customer called her over.

"I'll be right back," she promised, and then before walking away, she turned towards me again. "Don't leave yet."

"I'm not going anywhere Bella."

She started to move away. Without any thought, I reached for her elbow and leaned into her ear. She froze.

The sudden closeness of my mouth to her face was distracting beyond belief. "Bella, the drink's a little… you just need about half a fingertip more whiskey next time." Jesus, it was almost impossible to keep my train of thought.

Bella didn't respond, so I leaned in a bit closer. My lips brushed against her warm earlobe.

A thousand and one sparks exploded throughout every extremity in my body.

"Always pour in a little more, rather than a little less." I breathed shakily, trying to control my reaction to the fact that every time my lips moved, they grazed her ear. I struggled to maintain my train of thought. "People'll complain when a drink's a bit weak, but rarely if it's a bit strong."

I could feel the warmth of her neck against my jaw, her dark hair fluttered against my cheek, soft as silk, hiding my mouth from view. It would be _so easy_ right now to move my mouth half an inch lower…to place my lips lightly on her neck and get a taste, just a small one; _Jesus_ just one…little…lingering…kiss…

It took all my strength to pull away. When I did, Bella turned around slowly, her eyes wide open and a strange expression on her face; confusion mixed with something else. She nodded quickly and walked away before I could read it better.

I downed my drink and ran one hand through my hair, pulling on the ends and watching her. I snorted.

What the hell was I doing here, looking down into an empty glass? Smiles and grins and laughter didn't change one basic fact. Bella was engaged, and someday soon she'd be married to someone else.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Rosalie stood in front of me, arms crossed tightly in front of her, glaring.

"I'm having a drink," I answered flatly, raising my glass to my mouth and letting the last few remaining drops trickle down my throat.

She glowered. "May I ask why the fuck you can't have a drink at your own club?"

I shrugged. "I needed a change of scenery."

She pursed her lips. I glanced towards the stage where the band that had been performing was just wrapping up their last set.

"I'm a fan of these guys."

"Bullshit." She narrowed her eyes. "What's the band's name?"

"What the fuck Rosalie? Do you put all your patrons through the third degree?"

"Only the assholes."

"Maybe if you had a bouncer or two outside, then you could control the kind of riff-raff you get up in this joint." I looked around the room and purposely shuddered.

Her eyes transformed into two long slits. "We may just have to get some security if you plan on making this a habit. Seriously, what the fuck are you doing here?"

Involuntarily, my eyes moved to Bella, where she stood on the other side of the bar, working the blender. Our eyes met, and through my periphery I could see Rosalie turning her head to see what I was looking at; Bella quickly looked down at the blender.

Rosalie turned back to me with an arched brow. "You did see the big ole diamond on her left hand, didn't you?"

My jaw clenched. I set my tumbler down over the bar with a loud thud. "Yeah, I saw it. But your brother seems to have missed it," I said, remembering the way her asshole brother Jasper had looked at Bella when I'd first brought her in here last week.

She smiled. "Don't you worry your pretty little head over what my brother misses and doesn't miss."

"You know, you seem to be overly concerned with my perfect little ass, and my pretty little head. If I didn't know better," I grinned up at her, "I'd think you had a thing for me Rosalie."

Her eyes darkened. She leaned over the bar and brought her face close to mine.

"Let's get something straight Cullen. I, unlike the brainless majority of females in this town, couldn't care less about your pretty little face or your perfect little ass. You may look like a walking Adonis with those eyes and that jaw, but unlike all these other bimbos," she said, waving her arms, "I can see what's under all that."

I lifted my brows. "Oh really? Well why don't you enlighten me?"

She chuckled once. "Underneath all those tailored clothes and that buff body and that attitude," I rolled my eyes, "you, Edward Cullen, are just a scared little boy, desperately trying to prove to everyone what a big man you really are."

I scowled at her, but then I smiled.

"Really? So my jaw doesn't do it for you either?" I smoothed three fingers against said jaw, "'Cuz I've been told we Cullen men have a jaw line no woman can resist."

She pulled back and snorted, pointing at herself with her thumbs. "Well take a look at one that can. The day I fall for a Cullen jaw line will be the day I run butt naked through the Psych Department at UDub."

I grinned widely. "You've met my brother, haven't you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Only from a distance, and I'd like it to stay that way. Simply knowing there're two of you running around this city is bad enough."

Just then, Bella made her way back over. Rosalie leaned away from me slowly.

"If you're going to stay here Edward, then you better spend some serious money. Otherwise, get the steppin.' Bella, go get Edward here another drink." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Matter of fact, dust off that bottle of Glenfiddich on the top shelf and give him a double."

I shrugged.

With one final glare, Rosalie walked away to the other side of the bar. Bella reached up for the bottle of Glenfiddich. I watched her closely.

"So what have you been up to all week, besides learning how to be a barmaid?"

She laughed, pouring my drink. "A barmaid. That sounds _so_ medieval. Better yet," she said in a playful tone, putting my drink on the bar in front of me, "how about bar wench?" We both laughed.

"Bella the Bar Wench," I said, taking a drink. "Has a good ring to it."

It also had a nice accompanying image of her in a tight corset and short little flowing skirt-

"What?" she asked.

I shook my head quickly to clear it. "Nothing. Alright then, besides bar wenching," I teased, "what else have you been doing?"

She shrugged. "I had another interview, at the Henry Art Gallery by University District" – I raised my brows – "But…I didn't get it," she said, lowering her eyes.

Instinctively, I wrapped a hand over hers. She stiffened slightly but didn't pull away.

"I'm sure there'll be more. Don't get discouraged."

She looked up and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I have another one coming up anyway. Oh, and I went up to Forks to see my dad."

"Oh yeah? How's he doing?" My hand was still over hers.

She frowned slightly before smiling again. "He's doing better, I suppose. He's very stubborn though." Her eyes brightened. "Hey, I told him I saw you and he said to say hi if I bumped into you again. So hi," she waved, laughing.

"You told him you saw me?"

"Yes. Was it supposed to be a secret?" she teased.

"No," I chuckled. I couldn't help wondering if she'd told Mike she'd bumped into me.

She was called over again, and she carefully withdrew her hand from under mine and walked away. When she returned, it was the first time tonight that her smile didn't seem to quite reach her eyes, She placed another drink in front of me; a frozen, white concoction. With a cherry and pineapple wedge on top.

"What's this?" I chuckled, looking down at the frothy glass. "I thought we agreed I don't do creamy and frosty."

"_This_ is from that woman down the end there." I followed Bella's gaze to a bleached blonde, sitting a few stools away. She smiled and raised her glass to me.

"She said to tell you that you have the sexiest eyes she's ever seen," Bella continued.

"Oh," I said. "Um…"

"And to give you this." She placed a white napkin in front of me with a name and a phone number in ridiculously curvy script.

When I looked back up, Bella was watching me thoughtfully, biting her lip.

I pushed the napkin away and shrugged.

"I don't want this."

"Because you already have a girlfriend," she stated.

_And you have a fiancée…_

I didn't respond. We stared at each other, and suddenly, despite being in the middle of a crowded, noisy club, it was the silence between us that was deafening.

Bella finally broke the silence. "She's wrong anyway."

"Wrong?"

"About your eyes."

"You don't think they're sexy?" I grinned, trying to break the unexplainable tension suddenly in the air.

She laughed nervously and blushed. "No, I didn't mean that. What I meant was sexy isn't how I'd describe them."

"How _would_ you describe them?"

Bella rested her arms against the bar again, except this time she leaned in close to me. I drew in a deep breath, rewarded with a hit of strawberries and another scent from the past, sweet and fresh and just plain Bella. She gazed into my eyes in such a warm and intimate way that the whole club disappeared for a few moments, and suddenly we were back in high school, sitting on the moist grass, her eyes studying mine and my face cradled in her hands.

"I told you once before, remember?"

I swallowed and nodded. Of course I remembered.

'_You have the most amazing eyes Edward. They're so bright and alive and expressive. Like clear windows...'_

For two minutes of my life, I'd let myself believe that Bella felt for me the way I did for her. But her words had just been inspired by the artist in her. Now, the artist I'd given my heart to six years ago moved in closer to me. The constant back and forth of her current job made her breathing erratic and her chest heave up and down in long, heavy breaths. She rephrased her words from a lifetime ago, wrapping herself tightly around my heart, branding her name on it.

"Your eyes have always been like windows Edward. Bright, clear windows." Her eyes sparkled. Her warm breath caressed my face. "But they've always been impossible to…capture…in color, much less in a word as simple as sexy," she snorted.

She lifted one hand and brought it near my face. In the next second she blinked, and then, opening her eyes wide, her hand fell back down to the bar. She smiled nervously and backed away, picking up a glass and a clean towel to dry it.

"What about your eyes?" I asked without thinking.

"What about my eyes?" she chuckled, placing the dry glass on a shelf under the bar and picking up another one to dry.

Leaning over the bar, I gazed into her eyes with the same openness and concentration she'd just used to look into mine. She stopped moving, glass and towel in hand.

"Your eyes have always been…books."

"Books," she snorted, resuming her drying with a wry smile on her face. "My eyes are books. Gee Edward. That is possibly the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me." She fluttered her eyelashes playfully.

I grinned. "What I mean is your eyes were always so open, so straightforward. They always told their own stories, and never the same one." She frowned; a curious smile on her lips. "I remember trying to read you, trying to figure out what you were thinking, or feeling, just by the expression in your eyes. Sometimes it was so easy. Your eyes would fill up with laughter and joy, or fear and surprise." She rolled her eyes and looked down at the glasses she was drying. "But then sometimes…" I mused thoughtfully, "sometimes trying to read you was like trying to understand some ancient language from long ago." I shook my head. "A language full of secrets and unknowns."

She looked back up at me, biting her lip, and stopped drying for a second. "You're making me sound a lot more complicated than I ever was Edward. I could never have been that hard to read." Her tone was suddenly defensive, almost…angry. She looked away from me and resumed her drying with more roughness than the job called for.

I tilted my head and frowned. "Bella-"

"I like this band," she said abruptly, moving her eyes up to the stage. "The lead singer reminds me of you."

"Of me?" I asked.

"Yeah." She smiled wistfully. "Do you still write music Edward?"

I shook my head. "I haven't done that…in years."

She looked disappointed. "Why not?"

I shrugged, running one hand nervously through my hair. "Lack of inspiration I guess."

"How about the guitar?"

"Haven't touched it in a long while."

"That's a shame," she shook her head. "You were really good."

She leaned close to me again, smiling, her earlier irritation evaporated.

"_Don't you know you own my heart. I knew it from the start. That I'd lost it all to you, it's true,"_ she sang in a heartbreakingly soft voice, barely loud enough for me to hear, before backing away again.

I stared at her, my heart pounded painfully against my ribs. "You…remember that?"

"Of course I do Edward. I remember lots of things."

We stared at each other.

"Like I said," she mouthed, "you were really good." Then she grinned impishly and nodded towards the stage. "You should talk to Jasper about playing on the next Open Mike night."

I gave one short chuckle. "I don't think-"

"Did you give him my message?"

Bella turned her eyes to someone standing at my side, surprised. I turned to look too. It was the bleached blonde that sent the wussy drink.

"Uh…yeah," Bella answered, keeping herself busy with the glasses. "I gave it to him."

Bleached blonde bimbo turned her blackened eyes my way.

"Mind if I sit next to you?"

I glanced once at the now empty seat next to me and lifted one shoulder. When I looked back up, Bella had moved away again.

Bleached blonde sat down, bouncing happily in her seat. I suppressed an eye roll and took a swig of whiskey, ignoring the wussy drink next to it.

Still, bleached blonde asked the obvious question. "Did you enjoy your drink?"

I sighed heavily and turned her way. She was looking at me with so much expectation it was hard not to laugh. "Actually, I don't do cocktails."

"Oh," she smiled. "Well, I can buy you a-"

"Thanks," I interrupted, raising my glass to her, "but I already have a drink." I turned back towards the bar, looking for Bella. She'd moved all the way to the other side.

"Oh," Bleached blonde continued talking. "Well you can always buy me…"

The rest of her words got lost in the air, because suddenly Jasper Whitlock appeared next to Bella, raising his arms to her shoulders, and giving them a squeeze. He lowered his head to whisper something in her ear - the same ear my lips had just brushed up against a little while ago - and she nodded.

And just like that, any ounce of stupid, unrealistic hope that had been building inside crashed to the floor.

I put my drink down, curling my hands at my sides, and suddenly Bleached blonde's hand was on my forearm. I looked down at it before glaring up at her.

"Well?" she asked, as if waiting for some sort of reply.

"Well what?" I spat.

She huffed indignantly. "Are you gonna buy me a drink or what?" she giggled. "I mean, if you just want to skip the drinks that's fine too, but-"

I rolled my eyes and stood up, rolling out a hundred dollar bill and dropping it over the bar.

"You can help yourself to the cocktail you sent. It hasn't been touched. Or order something else with that." I nodded towards the bill. "Have a good night."

"Asshole!" I heard screamed my way as I sauntered off. I snorted. Pushing through the crowd, I made my way towards the exit, cursing myself. Yeah, I was an asshole. What the fuck had I been thinking? What _had_ I expected? I walked quicker, running my hand through my hair ruthlessly. God I was such a fool.

And then I heard her voice. Calling me, the same anxious note that had been in her call that day long ago, the last day of high school.

"Edward! Edward!"

'_Just keep walking Edward,_' a little voice inside instructed. _Why are you torturing yourself? She doesn't see you the way you see her. Why put yourself through this again?_

For a split second, I quickened my steps, listening to the voice of self-preservation, the voice of that kid that had handed his heart over only to have it stomped on painfully one afternoon long ago.

"Edward!"

'_Walk away,_' begged the sad, lonely voice.

But _goddamnit_…I'd missed her. I'd missed her the way a man on death row misses fresh air. I'd missed her eyes. I'd missed her smile. I'd missed talking to her, laughing with her. But most of all, I'd missed her friendship.

_Goddamnit_.

I stopped and closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them and turned back to the voice that haunted me. Bella stood about a foot away, looking anxious and confused.

"Were you…leaving?"

Why did she have to look like that; so hurt by the thought of my leaving?

"I…" – I swallowed, and my eyes trailed far back towards the bar, where through the darkness and the bodies and heads in my way I could see Jasper standing with his arms crossed, looking at us, frowning.

"We'll be closing soon," she said quickly. "Jasper was going to order some breakfast" – she smiled sheepishly – "and we were going to hang out in the back room for a little while. Play some pool…I was wondering if you wanted to stay and hang out with us."

Jasper and I locked eyes. "I don't think I'd be welcome."

"Why not?" Bella asked, tilting her head to the side questioningly.

Abruptly, Jasper's eyes moved behind me, and the hardness in them completely disappeared.

"Bella!" a squeaky little voice called out from behind me, and before I could turn and look a tiny thing was wrapping its arms around Bella and squealing loudly.

"Hey Al!" Bella said, returning the little thing's hug. "You're right on time."

"Course I am!" the tiny thing replied before leaning in and getting on her tip toes to whisper something in Bella's ear. Whatever she said made them both laugh. In a heartbeat Jasper materialized at the tiny thing's side.

"Alice, you made it," Jasper sighed. The look in his eyes was one of pure bliss, so much more intense than the way he'd looked at Bella last week. And when the tiny thing lifted her head high to meet his eyes, the same blissful expression lit up her own eyes.

"I told you she was coming," Bella declared, while Alice and Jasper continued to give each other those looks, as if the earth had swallowed up everyone else in the world, and they couldn't care less.

Bella turned her little friend around and introduced us. She was exactly as Bella had described her in the diner last week. Tiny, short spiky black hair, big blue eyes that sparkled with so much energy that for the first few minutes I wondered if she was on something.

And she talked a mile a minute.

"I've heard so much about you! It was so cool the way you two bumped into each other last week!" She looked over at Bella quickly before turning her eyes back to me. "You're right Bella, I'm not getting that asshole vibe from him either," she went on, as if I couldn't hear her. "No offense."

"None taken," I replied honestly. There was something about her manner that made it impossible to be offended. Maybe it was because she looked to be all about five.

She said some other stuff, but I tuned her out after about fifteen seconds, and turned my attention back to Bella. Still, I could feel Alice's eyes on me.

"So are you going to hang out with us tonight Edward?" Alice asked.

Rosalie stalked over to us. "Hang out with us?" she asked. "What the hell? When did Edward become our buddy?" She looked at her brother and waved a finger between them and me. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the guy that advertises in the papers some shit about going to his club when second rate entertainment just won't do?"

"What makes you think I'm referring to this place with that statement?"

"Because you're an asshole," she said dryly.

"Guys, guys, guys!" Alice cut in. She came and snaked an arm through Rosalie's. "Rosalie, I'm sure that's all some sort of misunderstanding. Why don't we put all this competition mumbo jumbo behind us for the night and just have fun!" she giggled.

Rosalie threw her hands up. "Whatever. Bella, it's last call. Let's go get the bar sorted out," she said, jerking her head towards the bar.

"Well?" Bella mouthed, walking backwards towards the bar.

"Sure," I shrugged. "I'll stay."

She thanked me by giving me the smile I adored.

Alice was watching me thoughtfully when I turned away from Bella. She reached over and snaked her arm around mine now. This seemed to be a habit of hers. Still, there was something so friendly and unflirtatious about it that it didn't even bother me. Instead, I grinned down at her.

She craned her neck towards Jasper for a moment. "Jazz, while you do whatever it is you need to do to close down the club" - she turned impish eyes to me - "Edward and I will spend a few minutes getting to know each other. After all, Bella tells me you're one of her oldest and dearest friends, and since I'm her best friend, that means you and I _have_ to bond!"

Jasper didn't seem too fond of that idea. He stalked over to me, in much the same way I'd stalked over to him exactly a week ago.

"You watch yourself," he warned plainly, no beating around the bush.

Alice giggled.

I snorted. "Don't worry _Jazz_," I teased. "I'll keep an eye on Al for you." _That's right fucker. Payback's a bitch. _I had absolutely zero interest in Alice, and I was sure she had zero interest in me, but Jasper didn't need to know that just yet.

He glared at me long and hard before walking away.

Alice laughed again when he left. "Oh that Jazz," she exclaimed. "He can be such a man sometimes." I laughed. "Now never mind with all of that," she said, waving her arm in the air. "You and I apparently share a good friend, so its time to get down to business."

"What?"

For the next hour, Alice drilled me for every last piece of information imaginable. By the time the bar was closed, she knew what size underwear I wore as well as the last four numbers of my social security.

"Are we done?" I asked her, once I saw Bella _finally_ walking back over to us. "Would you like my license and registration number too?"

She laughed and swatted me – hard – on my arm. "Maybe later."

OOOOOOOOOO

When you work a nightclub, you give up right to the normal routine most people keep; nine to five hours and all that become a thing of the past. Along with that, breakfast time tends to shift to either pre-dawn or late afternoon, depending on the type of night you had.

An hour after Nitelock closed, we'd had cheeseburgers and fries for 'breakfast,' and at some point, probably owing to the surplus beers we used to wash it all down, we'd ended up talking and laughing like a bunch of people who'd known each other for years, instead of a mixed group who'd sort of begrudgingly stayed around for a meal together. Once Jasper figured out I had no romantic interest whatsoever in his little Pixie, he'd loosened up, and we'd even traded a few jokes and jabs at each other's expense. Even his sister Rosalie had eventually let up on me a bit. Though she still insisted she hated my jaw.

That is, until Emmett walked in.

I'd called him halfway through breakfast, and told him to meet me here, using the fact that Rosalie was here as bait. Emmett had always thought Rosalie Whitlock was hot, but the few times all our paths had crossed, she'd acted so damn unapproachable.

The second he walked into the back room, Rosalie's eyes bulged out of their sockets. She glared at me, and I smiled.

"Are you kidding me? As if one of you wasn't bad enough, the other one's here now?"

"It's great to see you too Rosalie." He shot her his signature hearty grin through his square jaw. Her own jaw fell open, and whatever else she was going to say got stuck in her throat.

I had to clear my throat twice to pull Emmett's attention away from Rosalie.

"Em, you remember Bella Swan, from Forks?"

He gave me an amused expression, his eyes twinkling in a way that said, '_Really? As if we hadn't discussed her all night?_'

"Yeah," he quipped instead, in his usually friendly voice. "'Course I remember. How are you doing Bella? Look at you, you're all grown-up!"

Bella laughed. "Hey Emmett. I didn't think you'd remember me. You were gone by the time I moved to Forks."

"A face as pretty as yours is hard to forget." Bella turned red and looked down at her feet. "Besides," Emmett continued, his eyes flashing quickly to me, "I saw you around town a couple of times, and my brother here may have mentioned you once or twice when I came home for visits."

I glared at Emmett. He ignored me. I could feel Bella's eyes on me, surprised.

"Bella," Emmett said, bringing her attention back over to him, "I hear you're engaged. Congratulations."

"Oh, uhm…thanks," she answered.

"So who's the lucky guy again?"

Bella bit her lip. "Mike Newton? He went to high school with Edward and me."

"Mike Newton," Emmett said, looking up at the ceiling as if searching his memory. He snapped his fingers together. "The jock?"

Bella nodded.

"Oh," Emmett said. "Does he still play?"

Bella shook her head. "Not really. He doesn't…have time to anymore."

Emmett nodded slowly. "Well, that's a good thing anyway. Maybe all those steroids I heard he took during high school won't affect him in the long run. Tell me, does he have a rather small-"

"Who's gonna break?" I interrupted quickly, shoving a pool stick into Emmett's big hands, He snickered quietly when Bella turned away, and I couldn't help snickering just a little bit myself.

While Emmett broke and took his turn, looking up every time he sank a ball to find Rosalie's eyes on him, Bella and I stood off to the side.

"So what happened there?" I asked Bella quietly, nodding towards Jasper and Alice, who were off in their own little corner, whispering and smiling at each other.

Bella looked at them and snorted. "It was pretty direct and to the point actually," she smiled. "Alice stopped by Nitelock the second night I started working there. And basically, she and Jasper locked eyes, and the rest, as they say, is history. She's already named their first two kids, Charlotte and Riley, and Jasper just goes along with whatever she says."

I looked at her incredulously. Bella laughed.

"You have to know Alice to understand."

I snorted. "I spent an hour alternating between a full-blown interrogation on my life and a detailed biography on hers. I think I know her as well as the next person at this point."

Bella laughed again.

"Well…at least it got Jasper off your back huh?" I said.

Bella was quiet for a while. She stared straight ahead. "I can handle flirtatious guys. I mean…" - she looked down and extended her left hand - "the ring usually does it anyway. I guess that's why Mike chose such a…flashy one." She chuckled shakily.

I nodded, sticking my hands in my pockets and keeping my eyes straight ahead. It was the first time all night she'd mentioned Mike, and I wasn't anxious to hear anymore. When it was my turn, I sank each ball roughly.

Bella was up next. She looked around apologetically, and shrugged. "I don't know how to play."

Alice giggled. "Oh that's right B, I totally forgot. Here," she said moving away from where she'd been standing by Jasper and walking towards Bella, "I'll teach you. First of all," she started, guiding Bella closer to the pool table and pointing at the balls, "you see that little black ball there? You avoid that one 'til the very end. You're on Edward's team so you've got to try to pocket the solid colored balls."

"But how do I hold the stick?" Bella asked.

"You want to know how to hold the stick?" Rosalie asked, walking over to Bella slowly and picking up her stick from her. Then she went to stand in front of Emmett and leaned over the pool table, sticking her ass in his face. His eyes practically bulged out of their sockets. I smirked and Jasper rolled his eyes, turning away.

"First, you wrap one hand around the back of the stick, like this," she instructed. "Then you wrap your fingers around the front of it, like this," she continued. "And then you set your eyes on the balls, deciding which ones you want, and you thrust the stick back and forth, back and forth, letting it glide smoothly through your hand and your fingers until you-"

"Oh for God's sakes, Rosalie," Jasper hissed, "I'm going to get us a few more beers. Let me know when it's my turn."

Rosalie and the girls burst out laughing. I looked over at Emmett. He was standing stock still, his jaw hanging open. Rosalie snuck a peek at him and started laughing even harder. But I saw the way her blue eyes sparkled when she looked at him.

Yeah, resist the Cullen jaw my ass.

"I'm going to go find my brother," she laughed again, throwing the pool stick down on the table.

"Yeah, I'll go find Jazz too," Alice giggled, "He probably has his head stuck down a toilet or something right now." She laughed at her own thought and walked away.

Emmett stared after Rosalie's retreating form for about three seconds before following her out of the room.

I walked slowly over to Bella. "So do you really not know how to play, or was that all just a show to get my brother hot and bothered?"

Bella laughed. "No. I really don't know how to play!"

I grinned at her. "So what did you do back in New York when you went out with friends…or on…dates?"

She reached over and ran one finger slowly down the pool stick in my hand. "I guess, Al and I spent our time doing other things in New York; exploring, _studying_," she stressed playfully, "and watching old movies. We watch a lot of old movies." She bit her lip and looked up at me. "And as for dates…" – she shook her head slowly – "I never really dated much." She dropped her hand from the stick.

We stared at each other.

"So what kind of old movies do you watch?" I asked to break the silence.

She smiled sheepishly. "Promise you won't laugh?"

"I promise," I chuckled.

"Well, she and I have this crazy thing," she laughed at herself, embarrassment thick in her voice. "Every year we pick a decade, and we spend the rest of the year watching at least one movie per week from a specific genre of that that decade."

I frowned, smiling. "And what decade and genre are you on now?"

"Teen flicks from the 80's." She bit her lip, turning red at her admission.

The smile fell from my face. "You've gotta be kidding me," I said, leaning up against the pool table.

She stopped smiling too and shook her head.

I met her gaze, and then half my mouth twitched up. I leaned in closer to her. "Don't laugh, but ever since I moved to Seattle, Emmett sort of got me into watching those."

She laughed anyway. I smirked.

"I'm sorry, but I just can't picture you and Emmett watching teen flicks from the '80s."

Instinctively, I reached out and smoothed back a piece of her hair that had fallen into her face when she'd started laughing. I tucked it behind her ear and let my hand slide slowly down the strand. Her eyes were wide when I looked at her.

"Maybe…maybe one day Alice and I will host a movie viewing night, and you can all come," she smiled.

"That would be interesting." My hand lingered behind her ear.

Bella swallowed. "And you know…" - she cleared her throat – "you're welcome to bring Victoria…if you'd like."

My hand fell from her ear.

"Thanks," I said. "80's movies aren't exactly Vicki's thing though."

Bella nodded slowly. "Yeah, Mike doesn't like them too much either."

It was obvious what she was doing. Drawing the line. Again, we just stared at each other.

I drew in a deep breath. "Come on," I finally said, nodding towards the pool table. "Let me show you how to do this. Now once we sink all our balls, then we can go for the eight ball."

"That's the black one, right?"

"Yeah. So you see the four ball behind the cue ball?" She nodded. "Why don't you try to sink that one into the corner pocket there?"

She bit the inside of her mouth, her brows furrowed in concentration. "Okay."

She leaned over the table, and I swear, I tried my best not to stare at the perfectly round bottom right in front of me. But the poor girl didn't even know how to hold the stick.

"Hold on," I said gently, walking up behind her. I leaned my body over hers and placed my hands over hers.

Sparks as hot as molten lava erupted within me, and the entire world stopped spinning for five seconds. Bella turned her head to the side, and our eyes met, both wide and dazed, as if we'd been jolted by a live-wire.

I swallowed thickly and tried not to tremble as I wrapped my fingers around hers, startlingly aware of her soft body under my chest, of the curve of her spine against my stomach, of the scent of her neck so close to my mouth, of the unbelievable proximity of her pouty pink lips to mine.

My lips grazed her cheek as I spoke. "Hold it like this," I managed to murmur shakily. "Line it up between your fingers, and use that to aim."

Her body burned me, even through all our clothes. Her cheek scorched my lips when she nodded.

"Now keep your eyes on the ball, and when you're ready, thrust the stick forward."

Swallowing, she nodded again and turned her head towards the ball, lining up the side of her jaw almost perfectly with my lips.

"Are you ready?" I breathed.

She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. With my hand wrapped around hers, I drew the stick back and gave it a small push, sending the cue ball colliding with the right ball and sinking it into the corner pocket.

"You did it," I whispered in her ear. I thought I felt her shudder before she closed her eyes and slowly opened them back up. We remained there, frozen, my body wrapped around hers, for what felt like both an eternity and nowhere near long enough.

At some point, she started wriggling under me, and I took it as my cue to extract myself from her.

The group chose that moment to return.

Alice's eyes met Bella's as soon as she neared us. They quickly flashed to me, and then grew wide.

We played a couple of more games, though it felt as if Bella was avoiding me for a while. Towards the end of the last game I returned from the rest room and found Alice, Bella and Rosalie sitting at a small booth by the pool table, laughing and talking.

"He is so cute Rosalie," Alice gushed. "Wait 'til you meet him."

"He sounds really sweet," Rosalie said.

"He is," Bella said, with a tender look on her face. "I'm really lucky to have him."

My teeth clenched together, assuming they were talking about Mike.

"And he can't stand Mike," Alice suddenly laughed. "That's why I like him even more."

Bella elbowed Alice, making Alice laugh harder. "Sorry B, but you know it's true!"

"Really?" Rosalie asked. "Jake doesn't like Mike?"

Bella pursed her lips and shook her head.

Who the fuck was Jake now?

"Jake's very possessive," Bella said matter-of-factly.

"Well Jake _is_ possessive, but that's not why he doesn't like Mike," Alice snickered with a wink.

"Yo man, it's your turn," Jasper said loudly, clapping me on the shoulder and interrupting my eavesdropping.

Who. The Fuck. Was Jake?

OOOOOOOOOO

It was almost five in the morning by the time we all left Nitelock. The damp Seattle air hovered thickly around us; unseen mist moistening our jackets and clothes.

Jasper stood outside Alice's car, saying a mighty long goodbye to her, while Emmett stood outside Rosalie's car.

"Come on Rosie, just one little date," I could hear him begging. "We'll go anywhere you want…"

I smirked.

Bella waited patiently off to the side, letting her best friend and boss have a few more minutes of privacy. Things had been kind of awkward since our little pool lesson. I'd overstepped the boundaries, and I knew it. But I could've sworn I'd felt her body reacting to me...

Apparently I'd been wrong, and now I wasn't sure how to apologize.

I stuck my hands in my pockets and walked over to her. She looked up when she saw me approaching, and smiled.

"Bella I-"

"Edward, I had a great time tonight."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "I had a great time too."

"We should do this again. You know…all of us…go out together."

All of us. As in, not just you and me.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. That'd be great."

"And you know...if your girlfriend wants to come along, that would be cool too. We can all hang out together."

I felt a sharp stab in my chest.

I nodded. "Tell Mike I said hi when you speak to him," I said coolly.

I thought I saw something cross her face, but it was quickly gone. "I will. He should be coming next week, so…"

Pain radiated throughout my insides.

I nodded stiffly and turned to leave.

"Edward wait!"

I closed my eyes and exhaled, stopping and turning to face her. Her eyes were full of confusion.

"Why…why did you come to Nitelock tonight?"

_Because I need you. Because I have no idea how I lived without you for the past six years, or how I'm going to do it again._

I sighed deeply. "Because we were good friends once. And I thought we could be good friends again."

For a split second, something flickered in her eyes. Some emotion I could've sworn I'd seen once before in there, almost like…disappointment. But it was gone almost immediately. She smiled softly.

"We _were_ good friends, weren't we?"

I nodded.

She sighed. "I'd like to be…good friends again Edward."

I reached out and wrapped my hand around hers. If it was all I could have, it would have to be enough.

"So would I Bella." I let out a long breath. It _had_ to be enough. "So would I."

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews are better than tentative friendships. Leave one.**


	9. Chapter 9 Pretty in Pink

**A/N: I had the pleasure of being interviewed this week by WTF(dot)am(dot)I(dot)doing for the Twi-Muses blog! It was really, really fun, and I think I've met my Australian long lost soul sister! I swear, half of our side conversations consisted of the sentence "me too, me too!" Anyway, as soon as that gets posted I'll give you guys the info so you can take a look at it if you'd like some background info on what goes through my head as I'm writing these stories, as well as some insight into the characters from this story.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just messing around with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9 – Pretty in Pink<strong>

When I walked into my office the following evening, I was met by an unidentified flying object zooming right past my head and smacking against the door before falling to the floor next to me. I frowned down at a frighteningly sharp, high-heeled red pump. I looked back up. Victoria was standing behind my desk, a murderous expression etched across her face.

"What the hell, Vicki?"

"Asshole! Do you know how long I waited for you? I was in that fucking tub for over two hours! Two hours! I looked like a goddamned prune by the time I got out!"

I closed my eyes tight and cringed. Shit. I'd been in such a daze since the moment I'd laid eyes on Bella last night that I'd totally forgotten about Victoria.

"Vic, I'm sorry," I said, though I couldn't help chuckling at the picture she described.

Her hands fisted at her sides and her fiery red curls framed her head like a shock of raging crimson flames. I pressed my lips together tightly to hold in another chuckle.

Big mistake. Victoria huffed and bent down, removing another lethal looking pump from her other foot.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I put my hands out in front of me and jerked to the side as the shoe hurled my way at lightning speed. A sharp whoosh of air hissed by, just a fraction of an inch away from my ear. The shoe hit the wall behind me.

"Will you stop throwing your goddamned shoes at me?"

"You're fucking lucky I can't find a brick! Where were you?"

Stupidly or bravely, I took a couple of steps closer. "I went out with friends and lost track of time."

"And you couldn't have fucking called?"

How to tell her that, other than the couple of times Bella had mentioned her name, she hadn't even crossed my mind? That the only face that had appeared behind my eyelids all night was that of Bella's?

I apologized again, because I was smart enough to know that's what you did in these instances.

"I should've called you. You're right. I apologize." I finished in a tone meant to let her know I was ready to drop the subject.

But Vic wasn't ready to let anything drop. She narrowed her eyes, breathing hard. "What friends did you go out with?"

This was when I started to get irritated. I sighed and walked over to my desk, picking up the mail and sorting through it.

"Friends you don't know."

"Female friends?" she snarled.

I rolled my eyes. "Both male and female, though I don't see what difference it makes since they were just _friends_."

She snorted. "Yeah, right. You expect me to believe you passed up on a night of sex with me, to go out with _friends_," she said, making quote signs," and you didn't even get _any_ tail?"

I twisted my upper lip, annoyed by her implication. "First of all, lower your voice. The whole damn club doesn't have to know our business. Second, don't be disgusting. None of the people I was out with were like that."

She raised an eyebrow. "So _who_ were you out with? Why the big secret?"

"It's no big secret," I said defensively. "I was out with Emmett and…Jasper Whitlock, and his sister-"

"Jasper Whitlock and his sister?" she screeched. "From Nitelock?"

"Yeah."

She jerked her head back as if I'd struck her. "Are you crazy? They're our competition!"

I smirked. "They're not competition. They're people. Actually pretty cool people."

She snarled in disgust. "I cannot believe you. Of all the fucking…" – she narrowed her eyes – "Since when are you friends with the Whitlocks?"

For one split-second, I considered not mentioning Bella. But that would imply I had something to hide. And while maybe in my dreams I'd spent the whole night with Bella doing things that were decidedly _way_ beyond friendly, in reality, that's all we were.

"Since an old friend from high school started bartending at their club."

She stared at me while I opened up a piece of junk mail and gave it way more attention than it deserved.

"An old friend from high school?"

"Yeah," I snapped. I gave her an exasperated look, tired of the inquisition. "Matter of fact, you interviewed her for the bartending position before we hired Gianna last week."

Victoria wrinkled her brow. "_I_ interviewed her? Who was she?"

"The Columbia U grad."

I could see her searching her memory. "The one in the Ugg boots?" she screeched.

I nodded.

A wry smile crept over her lips. Then she broke out into laughter. "Well I'm not surprised she ended up at Nitelock. That's pretty much the type of joint she belongs in."

My hands tightened around the stack of mail in my hands.

"Are we done playing twenty questions?" I said, though what I really wanted to tell her was how unbelievably tempting Bella looked last night, even in the poor excuse for a bartending uniform they'd given her at Nitelock. Our own female bar uniform consisted of black boy shorts and a fitted tank top, and what Victoria failed to realize was that if she'd hired Bella, it would've probably tripled our bar business. We would've had every guy in the joint lining up for refills. The realization made me frown. It was probably a good thing Bella wasn't working here.

I would've ended up in jail that first night.

Victoria stared at me again, studying me. I broke out of my thoughts and resumed sorting through my mail.

"So you stood me up and didn't get any, all so you could spend the night hanging out with our two biggest competitors and Little Miss Martian Boots?"

I stiffened. "Her name is Isabella," I hissed instinctively, before continuing in a calmer tone. "And I didn't stand you up. We started playing pool and I lost track of time. End of story. For the last time, I'm sorry."

She shot daggers at me with her eyes. "For the last time, huh?" she scowled. "Well I hope _pool_ with the two yahoos from the South and the ivy league Queen of Style was worth it," she hissed, "because you won't be getting _shit from me_ any time in the near future!"

With that, she stomped over to the door and bent over low to retrieve her shoes, making sure to give me a good view of her ass cheeks peeking out from the bottom of her extremely short, skin-tight dress. She put her shoes back on, turned around and caught me staring.

She grinned wickedly. "I'm going downstairs to check on this afternoon's deliveries. Enjoy the rest of your fuckless evening." She turned and opened the door slowly.

It would be so easy to stop her. She'd pretend to fight, the way she always did, but then her hands would trail down into my pants and she'd forget why she'd been irritated in the first place.

But brown eyes flashed in front of my face, sparkling like two dark jewels, and any impulse I may have had to stop Victoria, to find a release for all the pent up tension and frustration I'd been feeling since Bella had walked back into my life, evaporated with the appearance of those eyes. I closed my eyes and groaned quietly. It made no fucking sense, letting Victoria go when I knew she wanted me. For what?

Yet even as I asked myself these questions, I knew the answer. For Bella. For nothing more than the promise of _her_ friendship.

Victoria stormed out of my office, slamming the door behind her. And I stood there and let her.

I was so fucked.

OOOOOOOOOO

Later that night, while the bass and synthesizers from the deejay's turntables rocked the building, I sat in my office going over accounts – and seeing the same numbers over and over. I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my desk, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose.

Whether my eyes were open or closed, the same image danced behind my eyes. Bella's smiling face, agreeing to a renewal of our friendship. But how could I just be friends with her, when every time I saw her I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself around her?

Giving up on getting any work done, I decided to go downstairs. When I emerged through the thick door, men and women swayed together, bodies bumping and grinding against each other. I made my way across the dance floor, avoiding insistent eyes and hands.

On my way out, I had a talk with Bree, the coat check girl, about doing the job she was being paid for, because she'd been standing around talking with a friend while the line grew longer and longer.

Once outside, I mentioned this to Emmett.

"Dude," he laughed. "So Bree was talking to a friend."

"People were waiting Em. The coat check line was growing."

Emmett snorted. "So they have to wait a few minutes to get their freak on. It won't kill'em."

I smirked and looked out into the dark night, where the line behind the red rope moved slowly. The ever-present Seattle drizzle fell lightly from the black sky, though the canopy over the edge of the long wall kept most of the people on line dry. Still, canopy or not, it wouldn't have made a difference. People would keep coming. Nothing, not even the rainy Washington weather deterred those eagerly determined to see and be seen.

"Look," Emmett said, "this is exactly why the employees have a hard time…bonding with you," he smiled tactfully, "because every time you're stressed out you take it out on them."

"Who says I'm stressed out?" I said stiffly.

Emmett met my eyes and laughed. "We haven't had a chance to talk since last night, but considering the fact that you called me at three in the morning to come join you guys for early morning pool, I'd say getting Bella Swan out of your system didn't quite go the way you thought it would."

I didn't answer and looked away instead, but I could see him watching me through the corner of my eye. He clapped me on the back and turned to Demetri, giving him instructions to continue without him. With his hand on my shoulder he guided me off to the side, out from under the canopy. The cool rain fell insistently, soaking our heads and sending a shiver down my spine.

"I was going to wait 'til we closed tonight to tell you about this Ed, but you are so damn stiff tonight I figure this'll either put another nail in your coffin, or chill you out."

"What is it?" I asked suspiciously.

Emmett narrowed his eyes. "You fucking around with Victoria tonight after we close?" I shook my head. "Tomorrow?"

"Victoria isn't speaking to me at the moment."

Emmett broke out into a huge grin. "Can't say I'm sorry bro. Anyway, I got off the phone with Rosalie a little while ago-" – I smirked – "What?" he asked, "I see something I want, I go for it. We can't all brood and ponder the way you do."

"Yeah, Rosalie's not _engaged_ asshole."

Emmett's eyes sparkled with mirth. "Bella's engagement didn't seem to bother you too much in the wee hours of the morning, while you were giving her some frisky little pool lessons." I raised my brows in surprise. "Oh yeah. I saw that," he chuckled.

"She just wants to be friends."

"She said that?" Emmett asked. I nodded. "Well," he murmured, "there are things to be said about friendship. I'm not sure what they are," he mused, "but-"

"Emmett, what were you going to tell me?"

"Oh yeah!" he chuckled. "Alright, now get this. Rosie's still playing hard to get, which is fine, 'cause that one is a little minx, and when I catch her, she and I are gonna be going at it twenty-four-"

"Emmett."

"Okay, okay," he snickered. "Little bro, I know exactly how you feel, 'cause I can't keep one straight train of thought either since last night. Except I'm not an asshole about it."

"The fucking point please?"

"Alright, alright," he laughed. "So I spoke to Rosie. I wanted to see if we could hang out again like we did last night. But she said she had to get some sleep tonight. So I said then maybe she and I could go do something tomorrow, go out for breakfast, or lunch, go up the Space Needle or climb a mountain, whatever, as long as I could see her. But she said she had studying to get to and laundry to do-"

"Sounds like she wants you to fuck off," I smirked.

He raised a brow. "You _would_ think that, wouldn't you?" he said with a bemused smile, putting an arm around my shoulder. "Pay attention little brother, maybe you'll learn a thing or two." I rolled my eyes. "So I called her again-"

"And she told you to fuck off?"

"Not exactly," he smirked smugly. "Turns out she and Bella are off tomorrow, and Bella and her little shorty roommate want to know if we all want to come over to their place for dinner and to watch some movie."

My lungs suddenly tightened painfully. Was I ready to see her again so soon?

"Demetri and Felix can handle things out here, and your Ice Queen should be able to take care of things in there." He pointed towards the club before bringing his hand back and pretending to shine his knuckles over his chest and then blowing on them.

"You've got it _all_ figured out don't you," I smirked sarcastically.

"One of us has to," he chuckled, "cause not for nothing bro, you're pretty useless at the moment." He snorted. "Man you really are lucky them girls just throw themselves at you, because you have absolutely no idea how to work for them," he snickered. I scowled at him. He chuckled again.

"Anyway, I know Rosie's game," he said out of nowhere. "She's trying to make it seem like this whole movie night thing was all Bella and Alice's idea. But she wants me bro. She wants me bad." His eyes sparkled wickedly.

He really was having a hard time focusing.

"So what do you think Ed? You up for it, even if she does just want to be friends?"

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, sure I'm up for it."

Emmett grinned wide.

OOOOOOOOOO

The following evening I found that Bella and Alice's loft was just a five-minute drive from my high rise, or what was probably just a twenty minute walk. I made these calculations while parking my Audi across the street, my heart pounding loudly between my ears.

Victoria hadn't been a happy camper when she'd walked into my office earlier tonight and I'd told her she'd be watching the club with Demetri and Felix for the night.

"Hanging out with your _friends_ again?" she'd drawled sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact, I am," I'd answered, sparing her a quick glance from over my laptop. When the fuck had this turned into the kind of relationship where I had to clear things with her, especially when she wasn't even speaking to me? "If there are any problems though, just call Emmett or me."

She snorted. "Honey, I can run this club better than you or your doofus brother, blindfolded and with one hand tied behind my back."

I rolled my eyes. "Good then," I answered. "I leave it in your very capable hands for the evening."

She twisted her lips and stormed out, slamming the door so hard the windows vibrated behind me. I shook my head and went back to work.

Alice and Bella's loft was in a converted warehouse in Belltown, and while we waited for the door to open, I wondered how a fashion design intern and a bartender afforded the high rent I was sure this sort of place commanded. But the door was opened quickly, and all musings went out the window for the night when a medium-sized hairy creature lunged towards me, teeth bared.

"What the-?" I exclaimed. The brown beast growled and barked, keeping me at bay.

"Jakey!" Alice cried, clapping her hands and frowning down at the mongrel before me. "Bad boy Jakey! Move away from the door!" She clapped her hands again. "Come on Jake, come here boy," she cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"Oh shit, a dog!" Emmett chuckled, completely ignoring the beast's threatening stance and stepping gingerly around it and into the apartment. I tried to follow Emmett, but the dog barked louder and took a big bite out of the air directly in front of me.

"Whoa!" I said warily, backing up again.

Alice giggled. "Don't worry Edward. He probably won't bite you. He's only ever bitten one person before."

"Not exactly encouraging statistics shorty." I tried to move around the beast again. He took another bite of air. Alice giggled.

"If I lose an appendage I'm suing Jasper," I threatened.

"What the heck do I have to do with it?" Jasper asked from inside.

"Your shortstuff over here" – I nodded towards Alice – "told me it was safe to come in. Besides, we've been looking to open up another Eclipse in the area."

"Asshole," Jasper chuckled.

Alice closed the door, and the mutt stood at attention directly in front of us, growling.

"Hey guys!" Alice exclaimed, stepping back and looking at me and Emmett, "Welcome!"

"I'm not so sure we are," I muttered, glaring down at the dog at my feet. It growled again.

"Oh don't mind him," Alice laughed, bending down to pet the hound from hell. It was a russet-colored creature, with dark, almost black eyes that glowered at me hostilely. "Jake's a sweety. Aren't you boy? Aren't you?" She spoke to it as one would speak to a cute little kid, which this monstrosity clearly was not. "It just takes him a little while to warm up sometimes. Doesn't it boy?" She tickled behind the fiend's ear. Its tail wagged and its facial muscles relaxed visibly. I glared down at it cautiously.

"So _this_ is Jake?" I asked.

"This is Jake," Alice confirmed. "Bella's dad gave him to her when we first moved here, to protect us. And he takes his job _very_ seriously. Don't you Jakey boy?" Jake looked up at me and growled again.

Alice giggled, apparently finding Jake's response amusing. I didn't.

"What kind of dog is it?" Emmett asked.

"A Cockapoo," Alice answered.

We were all silent.

"A cock-a-what?" Emmett said, barely controlling himself.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Go ahead Emmett. It's not like Bella and I haven't heard them all already."

Emmett pressed his lips together and covered his mouth.

"Guys come on," he said, looking from me to Jasper. "You're not gonna leave me hanging all alone on this one?"

"I'm not touching it," Jasper grinned, putting his hands up.

"Neither am I."

"A Cockapoo," Alice interrupted, feigning exasperation, "is a cross between a Cocker Spaniel and a Poodle."

"Oh," I said nodding slowly. I tried to call the mutt over. "Come here boy." I patted my leg.

He barked loudly at me, his dark eyes threatening.

I curled my lips. Dirty Mongrel. Served it right to go through life as such an unfortunately named breed.

"Cockapoo," Emmett snickered again, shaking his head.

"Oh come on," Rosalie moaned, keeping her eyes on the TV and flipping the channels restlessly, "how old are you, nine? Does the word penis make you break out into a fit of giggles too?"

Emmett giggled. "She said penis." He grinned widely and walked straight to Rosalie, dropping down into the seat next to her with great flourish. She rolled her eyes, but the excited glimmer in them as she took my brother in betrayed her snarky words.

"So should I walk around with my hands covering my groin for the rest of the night or what?"

Alice laughed at me and stood up. "No. You should be alright. I think Jake learned his lesson about biting a guy's weewee last month when he got a foot up his ass." Jake whimpered and suddenly dropped to the floor on his stomach, covering his face with his big floppy ears.

Alice knelt down again to rub his belly. The animal turned over on its back, legs straight up in the air and a disturbingly blissful expression on its face. "Don't worry, we'll never let him do that to you again," she whispered vehemently.

I smirked and took advantage of the mongrel's inattention, walking away from them and further into the spacious, clean and quirky loft.

Huge windows surrounded the large room, providing an almost panoramic view of Downtown Seattle.

I whistled through my teeth as I took in the view. "Quite a place shorty."

Alice sighed. "Look, let's just get this out of the way from the bat, since I'm sure you're all wondering how Bella and I can afford this place on our salaries." She sighed dramatically and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm filthy rich, okay? My grandfather invented some breakthrough piece or other for refrigerators decades ago, and left me a nice trust fund when he died. So there you go. Now while Bella knows this, she, unlike you guys I imagine, has no idea what the rent for this type of place is really like, and I'd like it to stay that way. If she ever finds out and I have to end up living in a little railroad flat where the walls are so thin I can hear our neighbors switch between fighting and banging all night, I will kill whoever is to blame." She stopped to suck in some air. "Okay, now let's never speak of this again."

The rest of us simply stared at her without making any comments.

Though the question had crossed my mind, I was more concerned with Bella's obvious absence from the large main room than with Alice's financial situation.

I cleared my throat, trying to think of a way to ask for Bella without actually asking for her.

"So…where's Bella?"

Emmett was right. I wasn't very good at this.

At my question, Jake stood up from where he'd been lying down by the floor and barked at me. Goddamn mongrel.

"She's locked in her room, painting," Alice answered. "When she gets into these painting moods, the rest of the world just disappears for a few hours, or a few days, depending on what she's painting. She seems to have been hit by a wave of inspiration a couple of days ago. I haven't seen her like this in a long while."

Just as she said that, a door opened from down the hall and out walked a brown haired vision, distractedly wiping her hands on her oversized tee shirt, full of bright paint stains.

"Hey Al, what's Jake…barking..at…"

She froze in her tracks; the rest of her question falling away as she finally looked up and saw us all standing around her living room. Jake bounded to her side quickly and started licking her paint-filled hands. She stroked his head absently as her eyes bounced from face to face, before slowly trailing to mine. Her eyes grew wide.

"Edward."

"Bella."

We stood there, staring at each other for a few seconds.

"Oh God," she murmured. "What time is it?" She looked down at herself. "Oh God," she repeated before looking up at Alice accusingly. "Al, why didn't you come get me when you saw it was getting late?"

Alice laughed. "I didn't want to interrupt your genius."

Bella's eyes quickly flashed to me. For some reason she blushed.

"I must look a fright," she chuckled, nervously scratching behind a jumping Jake's ear.

I looked her over. Her hair was a mess, knotted up haphazardly over her head in a careless bun, stray strands sticking out all over the place. She had a streak of green paint running across her cheek, and her hands were full of paint. Her smock t-shirt, as well as her sweatpants, were stained with a multitude of colors, like a rainbow.

"You look…great," I breathed.

Perfect. Beautiful. Wonderful. Just like the artist I'd always imagined you to be.

Suddenly, I was keenly aware of the silence surrounding us, the only sound to be heard was Jake's panting as he jumped up and down, clamoring for Bella's attention.

I cleared my throat and turned back to Alice.

"I brought something to go with dinner." I raised my right hand and stuck out the bottle of merlot I'd been holding.

Alice reached out gingerly and took it from me. She smiled sheepishly. "Thanks Edward…"

And although I'd only met Alice twice, the smile was not a typical Alice smile.

"A problem with merlot?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well…" Bella answered for her, "We're not really big wine drinkers up in this place," she shrugged. "But we can chill it for you and Emmett if you'd-"

With a crooked grin, I lifted my left hand. "Well then, how do you feel about some good old-fashioned beer?" I asked, holding up the case that had gone unnoticed.

A large grin spread across Bella's beautiful face. "Now you're talking," she laughed heartily. She took the beer from me and carried it happily towards the open kitchen. I followed.

Bella put the beers away in the fridge, and then took out a large pot, filled it with water from the tap, and put it over the stove. I leaned against the wall, watching. Jake bounced all over her the entire time.

She finally turned back to me and smiled before kneeling down in front of Jake and stroking his fur. The beast finally stayed still.

"Have you met Jake?" she asked.

I knelt down in front of her and her dog. "Uh, yeah…I suppose."

She looked up at me and gave me a knowing smile. "Jake, were you a bad boy with Edward?" The mutt growled lowly. I smirked and Bella chuckled, patting him heartily. "He didn't bite you did he?"

I shook my head.

"Thank goodness," she sighed.

"Does he tend to do that?" I grinned crookedly. "Alice did mention he'd bitten someone…"

She smiled sheepishly. "He bit Mike last time he was here."

Suddenly I wished I had a big juicy forty ounce porterhouse steak to throw Jake's way.

"Oh," I said, looking down at Jake and trying to hide the smile that was threatening at the corners of my mouth. I reached out to stroke his head. He growled at me. Dirty Mongrel would not let up.

Bella chuckled. "Here, try petting his back, like this," she suggested. "When you try to pet his head he feels threatened."

"Is that what Mike did?" I asked, unable to suppress a smirk.

She smirked back. "No. He didn't even get close enough to try to pet him. Jake just lunged for him as soon as he walked through the door."

That time, I couldn't suppress a chuckle. Growls or not, I was bringing this mutt a big fat treat next time.

"It's not funny," she said, chuckling herself.

"If you say so," I laughed.

She gave me a throaty laugh, and Jesus I wanted to jump over that dog and put my mouth on hers and taste that laughter with my lips.

Jake growled again.

"Shh," she soothed him, petting him tenderly. "He won't bite you. I promise," she murmured softly. A strand of hair fell in front of her face and she blew it away. I resisted the urge to reach out and push it behind her ear. Instead, I slowly and hesitantly reached out and placed my right hand over the dirty mutt. Jake stiffened, and a low growl erupted deep within his chest.

"Jake," Bella warned quietly. "Relax."

Jake's stiff shoulders slowly loosened, and I ran my hand tentatively back and forth across its back. My hand bumped into Bella's, sending a current of warmth crawling up my arm.

"There you go," Bella whispered softly, looking up at me. Our hands kept rubbing up against each other. "Now you and Jake are friends."

I stared at her, absently patting the dog while my only thought was wondering how in the world I was going to keep from kissing her for the rest of the night. Jesus, how was I supposed to handle this friendship thing with her if I couldn't even be in her presence for five minutes without wanting to take her in my arms?

Bella bit her lip, watching me nervously, as if she could somehow feel my inner struggle to keep my hands to myself - or no further than this dog's fur. She looked back down at the mutt.

"See Jake?" she said in a soft voice, "There's no reason to hate every male that walks through that door."

"Jake doesn't hate every male that walks through that door," Alice laughed, bounding into the kitchen, and opening the fridge. She pulled out a few beers and placed them over the counter before grabbing one for herself and jumping up next to the beers. "He only hates Mike," she chortled, turning to smile sweetly at Bella.

Bella smirked. "Alice."

Alice rolled her eyes, opening up a beer. "JK."

When Bella looked back down, Alice looked at me and mouthed, "No, I'm not."

I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing.

Bella stood up. "I'm going to go take a quick shower." She looked over at the pot of water. "I'll be out in seven and a half minutes."

I snorted. "Yeah, I'd like to see that," I teased.

"Oh yeah?" she said, raising one brow. "Watch me."

We stared at each other, neither one moving.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

I looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. "You're down to seven minutes."

She smirked and quickly turned to leave.

"Bella?"

She turned around. "Yes?"

"Hurry."

She grinned widely. "I will."

I watched her leave, and once she was out of sight, turned to the pot of water with a huge grin, only then remembering Alice was sitting on the counter. She studied me curiously, taking a sip of her beer. Her eyes still on me, she slid off of the counter and picked up the beers, slowly walking out of the kitchen with a mischievous smile on her face.

Seven minutes later, Bella walked out of her bedroom again, barefoot and wearing a clean pair of skinny jeans and a simple pink tee that brought out the way the heat of her shower had flushed her cheeks.

I'd been admiring the paintings hanging on the walls of the main room, while Rosalie continued to torture my brother over by the sofa, and Jasper and Alice whispered to one another in hushed voices from the kitchen.

Bella slowly came to stand next to me. I glanced at her and then looked back up at the painting on the wall. "Your work is…inspiring," I breathed.

She chuckled lightly. "Thanks. These aren't really my favorites though." She shrugged one shoulder. "But they're the ones that garnered the most praise back in school."

"What are your favorites?"

She bit her lip. "Well, my favorite work is a collection I started a long time ago. I haven't worked on it in a while but lately…" – she looked over at me and smiled, before looking down quickly. I could've sworn she was blushing. – "I've found new inspiration."

"Is that were you were working on tonight?"

She nodded without elaborating.

"I really like that meadow scene there," I said, nodding towards one of the paintings. "Is that a real place or just your imagination?"

"Oh it's a real place," she confirmed, looking up at the painting. "It's in Forks. Actually, this one is one of my favorites too."

I turned to look at her again. "This place is in Forks? I've never seen it."

"It's about twenty minutes off a trail behind my house." She paused. "When I was a kid, I used to go up there whenever there was a rare sunny day, and just sit…and think…" She studied the painting thoughtfully.

"What would you think about?" I asked.

She smiled wistfully. "Lots of things…places…people…" She stopped abruptly and shook her head. "I'd better go check the pot of water."

And with that, she walked into the kitchen, leaving me wondering what places and people she thought about in that lush, green meadow from her past.

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><p><strong>Reviews are better than unidentified flying stilettos. Leave one.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10 Revenge of the Nerds

**A/N: Hey guys. I know many of you want these two together already, but remember, B is **_**engaged**_**. That's not going to change from one day to the next, and do we really think B is the type of girl to have a guy on the side? If you've read my other stories, then you probably already know how I operate. Things have to take their course. But we're getting close, trust me. In the meantime, sit back and enjoy the UST, because it **_**will**_** be building! And remember, sometimes the longer the wait, the sweeter the reward…:)**

**Piper-lane has been wonderful enough to prepare a banner for this story, which I absolutely adore! Please take a look at it, if only to catch a glimpse of Edward during his nerdy days. Trust me **_**it will**_** touch your heart. You can find the link to the banner on my profile. And thanks once again P.L, you rock!**

**This chapter has been beta'd by another rocking chick, my girl Danna0724. **

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing around with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

**Chapter 10 – Revenge of the Nerds**

* * *

><p>Bella made a delicious Pasta Carbonara dinner, with garlic bread and a fresh garden salad. We all sat around eating and drinking beers, while Jake ate his hard dog food from his bowl in the corner; every few minutes shooting us envious glares and making me snicker. Afterwards, we cleaned up and drank a little more beer. By the time movie-time rolled around, we were all feeling pretty mellow.<p>

"So what are we watching tonight?" Emmett asked, once we'd all settled into different seats around the TV. He'd conveniently ended up on one of the loveseats with Rosalie, while Alice and Jasper commandeered the other one. I smirked and spread out across the rug.

"Well, tonight's theme is the eighties" - Bella glanced at me quickly, popping a shiny disc into the Blu-Ray before grabbing two floor pillows and tossing me one. She placed hers next to me and lay down on the floor over it on her stomach. I took my pillow and did the same – "So our feature film is _The Breakfast Club_, with Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall and Judd Nelson."

Emmett sat speechless for a few moments.

"Are you…are you toying with me Bella? Because if you are, it's just cruel." Bella's brows furrowed while she smiled in amusement. Emmett's head whipped to me. "Did you know this?"

"I suspected."

In a tone as serious as if he were discussing the national debt, Emmett exclaimed, "Molly Ringwald is, bar none, the best thing that came out of the eighties."

The entire room exploded in an uproar.

"Hell no!" Rose cried. "Emilio Estevez _and_ Kiefer Sutherland in _Young Guns_? Now _that_ was some seriously hot shit!" She fanned herself. "And don't even get me started on Young Guns II! That shit had Christian Slater in it too-"

"No, no, no, no!" Alice cut her off, sitting straight up. "Young Guns II came out in 1990 so it doesn't count 'cause we're talking about the eighties." She relaxed against the sofa. "Now take Rob Lowe and Andrew McCarthy in _Class_ as ivy leaguers. Woohoo!" she fist-pumped. "My men!"

"Nope," Jasper countered. "Kelly LeBrock in _Weird Science_ as a doll come to life? Shit, I was experimenting with Rose's Barbies, tryin' to bring'em to life for weeks after that!"

"_Say Anything_," Bella and I said simultaneously. We looked at each other.

Bella bit her lip and gave me a sheepish smile. "John Cusack, taking a chance and asking Ione Skye out, even when no one thought he stood a chance? That's classic." She turned her eyes to the TV screen. "But when he stands outside her window, on the hood of his car, boom box blaring and Peter Gabriel crooning at full volume, _that_ has to be one of the most romantic screen moments of all time." She turned her brown eyes to me. "What do you think Edward?"

How could I tell her that every time I'd watched that movie, it was her face I'd seen instead of Ione Skye's? And that I'd always wondered how things would've turned out had I had John Cusack's balls and just asked her out in high school?

"I think…I think Ione Skye was one hot chick back in her day," I grinned.

She smiled and looked back at the TV. "Yeah. Yeah, I suppose she was."

Then Rosalie started on how unfair it was that men aged better than women.

"I mean look at all the guys we just mentioned. Every single one of them is hotter now than they were when they were playing teenagers."

"Some guys are just late bloomers," Alice shrugged. "Just look at Anthony Michael Hall," she said, nodding towards the screen. "Who would've thought he'd turn out to be such a hottie? I'm sure that was some sweet revenge!"

"Anthony Michael Hall always played the nerd," Jasper laughed.

"But he was an adorable nerd!" Alice defended him.

The turn in conversation to nerds started to make me uncomfortable. I kept my face blank and my eyes on the TV.

"I agree with Alice," Bella said quietly, also keeping her eyes on the TV screen.

Rosalie snorted. "Yeah right. Just look at him," she laughed, pointing towards the screen. "All wild hair and acne! Tell me you would've gone out with him in high school!"

"I would've," Bella stated firmly. "Like Alice said, some guys come into their own a little later on. But even in their…awkward stages, you can see when there's more to them. You can see it in their…" – she hesitated – "anyway, sometimes you can just tell." Her eyes never moved from the screen.

"Well it's a shame Anthony Michael Hall didn't go to high school with you Bella," Rosalie teased.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is," Bella smiled.

My heart beat wildly in my chest. I couldn't have looked away from the screen if a crowbar had tried to pry my head to the side. My mind raced.

"Anyway," Emmett said, "John Hughes was a directorial genius. I've watched all his movies dozens of times."

I nodded absently, agreeing with Emmet and anxious for the change of topic.

Rosalie looked at him and then at me and shook her head.

"Dozens of times? Seriously, I don't know how either of you would score if it wasn't for your pretty faces."

Out of my periphery I saw Emmett move closer to Rosalie on the sofa, leaning into her ear and whispering loud enough for us to hear.

"I must be doing something right though, I've got _you_ here with me tonight, don't I?"

She huffed and crossed her arms in front of herself, but even with the lights off and from my position on the floor I could see her chest heaving.

"Mmhmm," Emmett said smugly, pulling away. Rosalie exhaled loudly.

And then the movie was up to Emmett's favorite part. He yelled at everyone to shut up, and I tried to pretend Bella hadn't just confused the ever-living shit out of me.

OOOOOOOOOO

It was past one in the morning by the time the final credits rolled up on the screen. For all the shit Emmett talked about the movie, he was fast asleep on the sofa. And for all the shit Rosalie talked, she was knocked out next to him with her head on his shoulder. Jasper and Alice were also snoring away on their loveseat, wrapped around each other in a totally painful looking way. And Jake…Jake was snoring quietly next to Bella, his fur rising and falling slowly with each deep breath. Every few seconds he'd growl quietly, on the offensive even in his slumber.

For the first half of the movie, my mind had been in complete and utter turmoil, wondering what exactly Bella's earlier comments about nerds had meant. But then as the movie wore on, I realized how carried away I was getting. I mean, shit, so she would've dated Anthony Michael Hall in high school. The guy was a fucking movie star. How the hell did I get any deep personal meaning from that? I chided myself internally. God, I was going nuts.

And while that realization admittedly stung a little, it also served to calm me down. I took a deep breath and let it out, relief flooding me. Because the alternative would've meant I'd actually had a chance in high school, and that I'd somehow fucked it up. Now _that_ knowledge would've killed me.

Feeling more relaxed now, Bella and I stopped paying attention during the last half of the movie. We talked about anything and everything. She filled me in some more on her life in New York; what Columbia had been like; some of the friends she'd made, some of the jobs she'd held. Bella had received a partial scholarship to Columbia, and between her dad, student loans and her part-time jobs, she'd paid for the other half. Still, Columbia didn't come cheap, and though she never said it directly, I got the feeling she owed a pretty penny in school loans for her education. So we caught up some more, and although Mike's name came up once or twice, his name wasn't as prominent as I'd feared in our conversations.

I talked to her about my time at UDub, the classes I'd taken, some of the things I'd done during those four years, leaving out the part where I'd gone on a fucking spree from sophomore to junior year of college. How Emmett and I had started Eclipse. All sorts of stuff. And so by the light of the TV, which had frozen on the Menu screen and Simple Minds' '_Don't You Forget About Me,_' Bella and I spent hours talking and laughing quietly, and just being friends.

"When did…" - she asked at one point, touching her face – "I mean, when did…"

"When did my face clear up?"

She smiled sheepishly and nodded.

"Sophomore year of college. One day they were there, the next they were gone."

She held my gaze, the glare from the screen lighting up her dark eyes and silhouetting her against the obscurity of the room. And then slowly she moved her hand off her face and placed it lightly on mine, trailing her soft fingers across my cheek, down to my jaw and across to my other cheek. Her eyes moved to every part of my face that her fingers caressed, and my face tingled everywhere her hands and eyes touched. When she got to a spot under my right eye, her fingers stopped. Slowly, she stroked the spot back and forth.

"It's a scar," I whispered. "From the…acne." It was small; barely noticeable anymore, but she'd found it. "I have another one on my left temple."

She nodded and smiled. "I know. I mean" - she said quickly – "I've noticed them both." She bit her lip and leveled me with chocolate eyes. "I think they're…pretty cool actually. They give you…character. Otherwise your face would just be _too_ perfect," she chuckled playfully.

"Yeah, and nobody wants to be too perfect," I joked.

"Yeah, that's just freaky," she laughed quietly. "Like a vampire or something."

She suddenly reached out and took my hand, placing it over her right eyebrow. "I had the chicken pox when I was ten and scratched, despite all of my mom's warnings," she grinned. I touched her perfect imperfection lightly, feeling more than seeing what she was talking about.

Then she took my hand and trailed it down her face slowly, never taking her eyes off of me. She stopped at a spot at the outer edge of her lips.

I suppressed a gasp.

"I have one here too," she whispered, eyeing me intently.

My finger froze at the corner of her mouth. My heart raced. Slowly, I moved my index finger, feeling for the almost invisible scar from over a decade ago.

"I feel it," I whispered. "I…I've never noticed that before."

"Maybe you've never looked close enough to see it."

"I didn't think it was possible to look any closer."

I heard a short, sharp intake of breath, and then her eyes widened, but then just as suddenly narrowed. Abruptly she pursed her lips and leveled me with a gaze full of frustration.

Her eyes locked on mine. I drank in her face, her dark eyes, almost black in the dimly lit room; the flickering light from the TV made her glow like a vision, like a luminescent angel. Her lips parted slightly and as I stared at them, her pink tongue darted out to moisten her top lip. Slowly, my finger ghosted gently across her bottom lip, while my eyes moved back and forth between it and her eyes.

"Edward…" she breathed, "…back in high school, why did you-"

"Holy shit Alice," Jasper groaned suddenly. "You gotta get up honey! My back is killing me!"

Bella's eyes widened and she was up like a flash, leaving my hand hanging in the air. I dropped it to the floor and stood up too.

OOOOOOOOOO

_At some point in time, she left the little girl behind  
><em>_And she's become a woman now  
><em>_She up and left her little hometown, yeah now she's making it work over by the Sound  
><em>'_cause she's a woman now_

_Yeah, I see it in her eyes  
><em>_I see it in the way her fingers fly  
><em>_No longer finger paints on paper  
><em>_She's got the world as her canvas  
><em>'_Cause baby she's a beautiful woman now_

_And I watch her and I hope and pray  
><em>_And I wonder if I'm not too late  
><em>'_Cause baby you're a woman now_

I put my guitar down and stared out of my bedroom window. The early morning clouds had at some point given way to the expected afternoon showers. I looked down at the guitar and slowly picked it up again, strumming a few chords, still marveling at the way the strings felt between the tips of my fingers. It had been a long time. But like riding a bike, it was something you never forgot. The guitar felt as at home in my arms as it had the last time I'd held it. And the words had flowed easily - it was only the ending that escaped me now. I sighed and stood up, leaning the guitar against the corner and walking to the window.

A couple of days had passed by since movie night at Alice and Bella's, enough time to put things in perspective. It had been almost three in the morning when Bella had showed me her small scars. It was dark. We'd had a few beers and…and well, that was basically it. Once again, I'd turned it into more than what it had really been.

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, watching as the gray rain drops pelted against the window. The words had stopped flowing a little while ago and I had a feeling I knew what I needed. What was the acceptable amount of time a friend was supposed to wait to call and just say hi?

The answer became a moot point, because at some point I'd dialed her number.

Bella sounded upset when she picked up.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

She sighed. "No." She paused. "I had another interview today, at an art gallery in Bellevue. _Thank you Ms. Swan, your work is impressive. Your school record commendable. But we were really looking for someone who's had more experience, who can bring a loyal clientele with them, blah, blah, blah, etc. etc_," she mimicked her interviewer.

"Bella, I'm sure you'll find something. I've seen your work and it's amazing. Someone's bound to-"

"Thanks Edward, but…"

"But what?"

She was quiet for a few seconds.

"Nothing."

The words poured out before I even had a chance to fully think them through. "Listen, why don't…we go do something…get your mind off of things for a while? You sound like you need a distraction."

She snorted. "Get my mind off of things. If only it were that simple…"

I frowned. "Bella what's-"

She sighed again. "Edward don't mind me. You know what? Getting my mind off things for a while actually sounds like a great idea? What do you have in mind?"

That's how we ended up at Pike Place Market on a lazy weekday afternoon. The afternoon rain fell lightly over our heads, dampening our hair and our jackets. But having grown up in Forks, neither of us could have cared less. While others walked with umbrella's open, rushing back and forth to get out of the rain, we strolled through the pier, talking and laughing, stopping to watch occasional street performers juggling everything from sharp knives to fish, or dancing to the beat blaring out from huge boom boxes.

When the rain finally did start coming down in buckets, we escaped into the fish market and strolled through the stalls, watching the rain blur everything threw the thick windows, and the gray waters of the Sound lap at the pier. And we talked and laughed some more…

"Stop!" Bella laughed at one point, lowering her salmon sandwich back to her plate. "Emmett did not do that!"

"Yes he did," I chuckled. "I wouldn't make that up."

Bella threw her head back and laughed harder, and I racked my brain for something else I could say to make her laugh that way again. Finally her laughter subsided, and she met my eyes, her own eyes still sparkling with laughter.

"I wish I could've seen that." She sighed. "Doesn't it feel as if we've all known each other forever, even though we've just all hung out together a couple of times?"

I smiled and nodded.

"I just wish…we could've all met sooner." She smiled wistfully and took a sip of her coffee.

"Well we've all met now, and don't worry, we've got all the time in the world to watch Emmett make a fool of himself again," I joked.

She looked up and met my gaze. "Yeah. Yeah, we've got all the time in the world." Something about the way she said it though sent a chill through me.

When the monsoon finally subsided, we braved the fickle Seattle weather once more and took a ferry ride to Bainbridge Island. We stood side by side near the railing, watching the tall buildings of Downtown Seattle grow smaller and smaller, as the seaside homes of Bainbridge Island neared. Halfway to the island, the rare Seattle sun made an appearance, even as a cool drizzle continued to fall, and the result was a rainbow over the Puget Sound, its reflection mirrored in the grey waters, making the Sound sparkle like thousands of jewels.

"Bella, look at the-"

When I looked over at her, she was watching me with an intensity that took my breath away. She studied me unapologetically, without blinking. After a few moments, the corners of her mouth twitched up.

"I'm sorry," she chuckled lowly. "I was just…sketching."

"Sketching?" I smiled.

She nodded slowly, that intense look still in her eyes. "The sun is setting behind you," she said quietly, "and your hair is catching the light, highlighting each and every bronze strand. The houses on Bainbridge back there are bathed in an orange glow, and the rainbow is sending a prism of colors all over the sky. And the way _you_ were just looking at it all…the awe on your face…the raw innocence." She sighed. "You were- I mean _it_ was breathtakingly beautiful, and I had to sketch it." She tapped her temple with one finger.

I swallowed thickly. "So you just do that? You sketch things in your mind?"

"Sometimes." She shrugged self-consciously and lowered her eyes, her long eyelashes fluttering softly over her cheekbones.

"Sometimes…" – I began – "sometimes I see something so…perfect, and the chords just come together in my head, before I can even play them or put words to them."

Her head shot up again and she grinned. "Then you understand."

I nodded. "Yeah, I understand."

We rode the rest of the ferry ride side by side in silence, listening to the soft waves move against the ferry, and the seagulls in the sky calling to one another. But it was a comfortable silence, and the way our arms rested against each other as we both held on to the railing kept me warm. Every few seconds, I'd sneak a look at Bella. Her eyes remained trained straight ahead, on the setting sun and sparkling grey waters, a look of total concentration on her face.

She was still sketching. And I…well I found the chords and words that had been missing from my song this morning.

OOOOOOOOOO

The moon made its appearance on the walk back to my car from the ferry terminal. Our coats were soaked from a day surrounded by water, and we both walked with our hands tucked in our pockets.

Bella looked at me, gracing me with a wide grin. "This was seriously the most fun I've had in one day in ages. Thanks Edward," Bella said. "When you called today…well, I was feeling pretty down. But being with you here, you've always been able to make me feel like myself again."

I smiled. "You've got the world in your hands Bella. Nothing should ever be allowed to bring you down." I knocked my elbow into her playfully.

"The whole world in my hands…" she repeated, in much the same tone she'd used on the phone. She looked up, her eyes taking on a far-away look. "Edward, have you ever felt like, like the world's just conspiring against you? Like no matter what you do, how many roads you've tried to open for yourself, there's only one that's not blocked, but it's just not the one…"

Once again I felt a chill run down my spine. I frowned.

"What do you mean Bella?"

She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She chuckled, but it sounded empty and hollow.

"Forget it. I'm just being morose. You bring me out here to relax and have fun and I'm being a total droop." She stopped suddenly and turned to me, reaching out to take my hand and squeezing it, harder than I would've thought her petite hands were capable of.

"I want you to know Edward…that I'm…really grateful that you and I met again. Our friendship meant a lot to me in high school and I always wished…well I always wondered how life had turned out for you."

She held my gaze, and instinctively I reached out and took her other hand. They were warm, despite the cold and rain. And we just stood there, in the middle of the street, our hands wrapped around one another's. I wanted to tell her that I'd thought of her too, despite how hard I'd tried to force her memory to the back of my mind. That her face had always been the last image I saw as I drifted off to sleep, and the first one I woke with to morning light.

"Bella, I…." I searched for the right words, but her engagement ring rubbed up against the inside of my palm, and it might as well have been rubbing up against my throat.

She bit her lip. "You're girlfriend's a really lucky girl Edward," Bella chuckled lightly.

And just like that, she brought me back to reality. She extricated her hands from mine and started walking again. "You and…Victoria must do a lot of fun things here in Seattle." She jerked her head towards the pier we'd left behind us.

I thought of the cold glare that had met me at work for the past couple of nights. And even before that, when had Victoria and I ever shared a day like the one Bella and I had shared today? Our relationship consisted of Eclipse, and of long nights rolling around in one or the other's bed.

"Yeah. Yeah Victoria's a big fan of fun," I smirked. Bella chuckled nervously.

And then masochistic curiosity got the better of me. "So…what did you and Mike do back in New York for fun?"

Bella blinked a few times, and then turned to watch her feet as she spoke.

"Oh, you know…typical New York City stuff." She looked up and straight ahead. "We go to the theatre a lot. Mike gets tickets from clients to lots of different shows. We go to restaurants with his colleagues, nice places, though sometimes I'm not sure what I'm eating," she chuckled anxiously. "I've helped him host a couple of dinner parties for his boss. Made some nice appetizers and dishes. Drank some wine." She made a face. "We go to parties hosted by colleagues and clients."

I snorted. "That sounds more like career-building than fun."

She didn't answer. We walked on silently for a few uncomfortable moments.

"Mike's job…is very demanding. He's worked really hard to get where he is." I suppressed an eye-roll. "He's one of the youngest execs in his company," Bella continued, in a high pitch meant to be pride. "Career building is important. I mean, you must know how that goes. You own your own club. I'm sure you know the sacrifices that being a successful businessman entails."

I reached out for her hand to stop her. She wheeled around warily.

"Some sacrifices aren't worth it Bella." Emmett's words from the other day came back to me. '_We bought this place to have fun, not to run it like a Wall Street bank.'_

"Successful businessman or not," – I met her gaze – "there are some things that are infinitely more important. That's something I'm just starting to realize, and I hope…well I really hope Mike realizes that, because _you_ deserve nothing less."

She nodded slowly, biting her lip. "He does."

I nodded. My chest ached. We drove back to her place in silence.

OOOOOOOOOO

Bella invited me up for dinner, to try out some of the fresh produce she'd picked up at the farmer's market at Pike Place. We were met at the door by an unashamedly ecstatic Jake, tail wagging and tongue hanging out. He jumped on Bella, clamoring for her attention as soon as we entered. And whatever progress he and I may have made a couple of days ago had apparently vanished with Jake's short term memory, because as soon as he lay eyes on me, a low growl erupted from his chest. Still, I extended my hand to try to pet him, the way Bella had shown me, but he turned his black eyes to me with a growl that clearly said, 'Don't even fucking think of touching me asshole.' I withdrew my hand.

Bella chuckled. "Don't worry. You'll grow on him."

"Hmm," I simply said, not entirely convinced.

"B is that you?" Alice called out.

"Yeah Al, it's me," Bella answered as we walked towards the kitchen.

"I've been calling you," Alice said. Quick shuffling could be heard around while Bella and I unpacked the produce. "I wanted to tell you I'm not going to be home for dinner tonight." She giggled. "Jasper's taking the night off and I've decided I've made the poor guy wait long enough. I mean fine, it hasn't been _that_ long, but damn, we already know where this is headed. At this point it's just cruel and unusual punishment and I swear if I don't let him in my pants I think we're both going to spontaneously combust. So I'm breaking out the VS lacies and the box of extra ribbed, and letting Jasper totally…_fuck me _Edward, what are you doing here?" she squeaked, eyes growing wide when she caught sight of me in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with my arms crossed in front of me.

I smirked. "Getting an earful of what girls really sound like when men aren't around."

She narrowed her eyes at me, and then broke out into giggles and shrugged.

"Yes, yes, we get as horny as you menfolk. So now you know. And Bella, if I can borrow that pretty blue blouse I made for you, the one with the flutter sleeves, I'll be on my way," she finished unapologetically.

Bella chuckled. "Go ahead Alice. Though it doesn't sound like it'll stay on long," she murmured quietly, turning to the counter and unpacking her fresh produce.

I laughed and wandered out into the main room, admiring the city lights from the windows - my own apartment faced the water - when a painting that hadn't been there a couple of nights ago caught my attention. Alice appeared from Bella's bedroom, donning a pretty blue blouse that while flattering on her, I was sure probably looked a thousand times better on Bella. She was about to walk by me but then backtracked quickly.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" she said quietly, nodding towards the painting.

"Yes, it is." I agreed. "Why did she name it Windows?" I asked, noting the name and date on the bottom left hand corner.

"That's the name of this collection," she explained. "She's done this design before. I don't really remember too well why she named it Windows. Something about souls...?" she thought aloud.

"I don't think she'd named it yet when we were in high school."

Out of my periphery, I saw Alice turn to me slowly.

"You know this collection?"

I nodded. "She was already painting this design in high school. But this one's more…I don't know. Intense. I have a small one actually, that she gave me once."

I turned to look at her directly. She was staring at me with her mouth hanging open. Finally she recovered herself, and turned to look from me to the painting and back, over and over again.

"What?" I asked, just as Bella walked into the hallway.

"What's up guys?"

I nodded towards the painting. "I haven't seen this in a while."

She smiled. "You remember it?"

"I remember lots of things," I answered, recalling her words to me from the other night.

She smiled and nodded slowly.

"It's more and more striking every time I see it."

She snorted and stared at me, her eyes twinkling. "Yeah, I agree."

"Oh my God," Alice murmured suddenly, eyes as wide as the ocean. Bella looked at her, and her eyes went just as wide. "Oh my God, of course," Alice repeated.

For some reason, Bella wore a panicked look on her face. She reached out for Alice's arm. "Al honey, you better not leave Jasper waiting too long. I've seen the way he's been for the past few days and at this point he might get started without you," she joked. Alice followed her like a puppet on a string, but her eyes remained locked on me until she disappeared into the other room.

OOOOOOOOOO

We ate dinner together, listening to oldies from Green Day from Bella's Ipod, as well as newer favorites.

"So when are you gonna play Open Mike at Nitelock?" Bella asked teasingly as we washed up the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. Jake wagged his tail at Bella's side, apparently conditioned to the fact that post-dinner time also seemed to mean scraps time for him. Spoiled mongrel. I reached out tentatively once more. He growled. I withdrew my hand. Bella chuckled.

I snorted as I wiped down the counter where we'd just sat and eaten and talked for over an hour. Bella and I would both have to be leaving for our respective clubs soon, though normally I would've already been at mine for a few hours. But work was the last thing on my mind.

"What is this obsession of yours that I play at Nitelock? You realize that would sort of create a conflict of interest."

She laughed, holding up a piece of chicken for Jake and making him sit before she gave it to him. With a complete lack of dignity, Jake sat on his butt, salivating at the mouth. Bella fed him the chicken and patted his head.

"Good Boy." She turned her attention back to me. "You just always had such a great voice Edward. It's a shame that no one else ever gets to hear it."

"Well how about if I promise to sing to you, will that be good enough?" I teased.

She snorted. "Yeah, you made that promise once before, and I had to show up at your doorstep two weeks before you left Forks with a sad face and a made up story about being in the neighborhood to get you to keep your promise. What'll I have to do now?"

I put the cleaning liquid down and turned to her. "You made that up?"

She froze for a couple of seconds. Then she put the dish she had in her hand down and turned to level me with her gaze, nodding her response.

"Why would you do that?"

She shrugged. "I just really wanted to hear…you know…that song. I thought…" – she paused and looked down – "anyway…" she trailed off.

I crossed the room until I was just a few inches away from her, and put my hands on her shoulders.

And just like that, the line blurred again. My hands trailed up along her collarbone, and I pressed my fingers against the back of her neck, stroking softly. She stiffened momentarily but soon her shoulders slackened and fell. She dropped her head forward.

"Edward…" Her voice shook, and I couldn't tell if it held a warning, or a plea.

"Bella…"

Unable to control myself, I inched close enough so that I could almost feel her heart beating against mine. Her head was still down, and without any conscious thought, I lowered my head, resting my forehead on her soft shoulder.

A thousand and one emotions swam chaotically inside me. I felt her exhale heavily, and I prayed it was because she felt this magnetic pull, this almost unbearable need to touch, to be touched, to _feel_ beyond what I'd ever felt before. I drew in a deep breath and was rewarded with the sweet scent of her surrounding me, invading me.

"Edward…" she breathed again, and turned her lowered head to the side. Her warm lips ghosted against my temple, burning me like a live wire, and Jesus, I wanted to say 'the hell with friends' and turn my head and kiss her. Her chest rose and fell deeply with each breath.

And then one of her hands came up, and she laid it palm flat across my chest.

"Edward," she repeated once more, her voice barely a whisper, "I…can't…" – there was suddenly a deep sadness in her voice, but then it hardened – "I have…I have something I need to ask you…"

"You can ask me anything Bella," I breathed, knowing that this time I'd give her the truth. I'd giver her anything.

Gently but firmly, she pushed me back until our eyes met. A handful of emotions swirled in her big brown eyes, all flickering by so quickly it made them impossible to read. She was breathing hard, and at first when she opened her mouth no words came out.

"Mike's going to be in town in a couple of days," she finally murmured. "He asked me to ask if you'd like to have drinks with us before work. He'd like to catch up and…" – she exhaled, never taking her big brown eyes off of me.

All my words, all my hopes, took a deep dive into oblivion. But I kept my face blank.

If Bella's intention was to back me up, to splash a big cold bucket of reality in my face, then she accomplished it in spades.

I backed away from her, and for a fraction of a second I thought I saw a pained expression cross her face.

"You…don't have to say yes," she blurted, wringing her hands in front of her. "Mike just thought it would be nice to catch up…and…"

I'd let my heart and my imagination run away with me again. Today had just been a day passed between two friends, and nothing more. I realized what Bella was doing.

She was drawing boundaries once again; those blurry lines that were getting harder and harder to see. And she was reminding me that Mike wasn't just an abstract concept, a fiancée barely in the picture, represented by nothing more than a glittering rock on her left hand. He was as real as if he'd been standing in this kitchen with us, and he was coming, and he wanted to see me.

In the space of two seconds, I weighed my options. Say no and look like an asshole. Say yes and watch Mike shove his status as soon-to-be husband to Bella Swan down my throat. But in that small space of a couple of seconds, with Bella's eyes on me, gnawing anxiously on her lip, a third option appeared in my mind.

Show Mike that Crusty Cullen was no more. That the geek he'd taunted for years had disappeared, and in its place was a man who could have almost anything he wanted.

But I wouldn't let him see what the one thing I wanted more than anything and couldn't have was. And maybe, just maybe, I could see _him_ squirm this time. See him suffer over the fact that his fiancée was spending her days with Crusty Cullen now. It would be the sweetest revenge.

I smiled crookedly. Meet with Mike. After six long years.

"Sure Bella. Sure. It'd be great to meet with Mike."

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews are almost as good as an almost-kiss in a darkened room. **

**Yes. We will meet Mike next chapter. **

**What's _your_ favorite '80s teen flick? **


	11. Intermission: Dream a Little Dream

**A/N: Hey everyone. I've got a little bonus here for you guys. This was originally supposed to be the beginning for the next chapter, but it's grown longer than I expected it to be (surprise, surprise, right?), yet still too short to be a chapter on its own, so I'm posting it tonight as an "Intermission." You'll see why I'm calling it that.**

*****Also, it is a **_**LEMONY**_** intermission, so be forewarned.*** **

**Danna0724 beta'd this little in-between-chappy-thingy.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing around with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

**Enjoy and see you next week!**

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><p><strong>Intermission – Dream a Little Dream<strong>

The mattress bounced lightly under me when I twisted and turned, pulling the goose-down comforter higher over my shoulders and shoving my hands under the pillow. The grey light forcing itself between my closed lids alerted me to the unwelcome fact that either late morning or early afternoon were already upon me; another, dark, dreary day in the state of Washington. I stretched my body out, feeling the coolness of the sheets under my bare feet and stomach, and lazily reached down to adjust my morning stiffy, cringing from the discomfort a night's full of dreams and piss had left me with. I groaned and turned to my side to relieve some of the pressure down below, when my legs bumped into something…something warm and soft as silk that reached out and wrapped itself around my calves.

My eyes flew open.

Lying next to me on her side, smiling shyly, her dark hair splayed out wildly all over the pillow and her legs tangled with mine, lay Bella.

I drew in a sharp breath. "Bella…"

Her smile widened and she chuckled. "Were you expecting someone else?"

I shook my head and swallowed thickly, unable to form any words. She giggled.

"What…what are you doing here?" I whispered, my mind spinning.

Her grin faltered, her chocolate eyes turning anxious and unsure. "Don't you want me here Edward? Don't you feel what I feel?"

Instinctively, I reached out and cupped her face between my hands. "I feel so much Bella. So much that I have no idea where to begin."

Slowly, she inched closer to me, until her face was so close that I could see every single pore in her flawless skin and read every emotion in her depthless eyes. So close that the slightest movement on either part would bring her lips in contact with mine.

"Let's start at the beginning," she murmured, her lips ghosting against mine and her words reverberating throughout every part of my body. I shuddered.

She pressed her lips to mine, lightly at first, unsure. They were scorching. But I was frozen. She took my bottom lip between hers, gently sucking on it and then alternating with my top lip. And God, I felt as if my heart would beat out of my chest, but I couldn't move. It was as if some heavy weight held me down, forbidding me from wrapping myself around her and returning her kisses. So she continued her sweet torture and when she realized I wasn't responding, she pulled away and looked at me. Her eyes filled with sadness, and suddenly something shifted.

At first, I wasn't sure what had happened. Everything looked the same, my room, the muted light streaming in from the closed blinds, the bed. But something _had_ changed. And when I looked closer at Bella, I realized what was different.

Her face was fuller, still beautiful but with the slight roundness that tended to get lost as we became older. Her hair was longer than it had been just a couple of days ago. And the expression on her face, it was the same one she'd worn one night over six years ago. The 'dead bunny expression,' I'd dubbed it that night, full of frustration; and even a little anger.

Bella was sixteen again.

"Why don't you want me Edward?" she asked in a sweet voice from the past that shook with rejection.

"Bella, I _have_ wanted you, for so long," I said, my own voice quivering. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

"Then take me Edward," she demanded, with the anger and frustration of a teenager. "If you want me take me. I'm yours. I've always been yours. But you've got to fight for me this time Edward, because I'm lost too."

I still couldn't move. I wanted to. Jesus, how I wanted to, but the invisible weight wouldn't let me.

She closed her eyes, and one solitary tear trickled slowly down her cheek, breaking my heart.

"I'm scared Bella," I admitted, realizing the depth of that fact even as I said it.

She opened her eyes again and gazed at me with so much innocence and tenderness that it took my breath away. "What are you scared of?"

And then, the invisible weight that had been holding me down finally lifted. I lowered my hands to hers, wrapping them around her fingers, reveling in the warmth of her touch, even if just for a few seconds more. Because after I showed her, she wouldn't want me to hold her anymore.

Gently, I pulled her into a sitting position and guided her to the edge of the bed. She complied wordlessly. I sat next to her and drew in a couple of deep breaths and with a sense of dread, turned to the dresser mirror. Bella's eyes followed me.

There, in the reflection staring back at me, was Crusty Cullen.

Not the Crusty Cullen of the past. An older version; one that resembled the man that had finally fallen into a fitful slumber in the early hours of the morning. The angry zits weren't there; but in their place were dozens upon dozens of scars; big, red permanent craters marking every part of my face; like a monster out of a horror movie.

Full of despair, I turned back to Bella. She was staring in the mirror, taking in my reflection. I waited. I waited for the look of horror to cross her features. For the disgust. For her to jump off of my bed and run out screaming, or even worse, laughing.

But the seconds ticked by and Bella kept looking through the mirror with nothing more than a line between her eyes to mark her confusion.

"Don't you see it?" I hissed.

"See what?"

"Me!" I yelled, standing up and angrily running one hand through my wild hair. "Don't you see me?" I repeated, pointing in disgust at the reflection in the mirror. "I'm…flawed. And I'm afraid that…I'm just as flawed on the inside as I am on the outside. And I don't care who else sees that," I continued, "but when _you_ see that…"

She reached out for my hand and pulled me back down to her side. "Edward, we're all flawed, both inside and outside." She took our joined hands and placed them lightly over my chest. "And I already know what's in here. I've known all along Edward, and it's beautiful. In here, you've always been beautiful."

"What if…there is nothing in there?

She smiled sadly. "Yes. There is. _I'm_ in there, aren't I? When will you see what I see?" With a burning intensity, she held my gaze. "Your eyes are windows Edward. Windows to what's in there. Please see what I see," she begged, taking my face between her small, teenaged hands, and turning me to face the mirror once more. "See what I see."

And once again, something changed. The reflection in the mirror was no longer full of scars and craters. But neither was it the reflection of the man who'd lain in this bed a few hours ago.

I looked at a reflection of me as I'd been six years ago, minus the pimples, minus the glasses. My shoulders weren't hunched over, but were firm and straight. My face was as smooth as stone. And my eyes…my eyes were greener and deeper than I'd ever seen them.

"This is what I see Edward," Bella whispered. "This is what I've always seen." She put her hand over my bare chest, searing my skin. "That's who's in there with me." Her sweet breath fanned across my face.

I met her eyes and held them, placing one hand over hers. Over my heart.

"Stay with me in here Bella," I pleaded. "Please stay with me."

She smiled softly, something like relief flooding her eyes. "You just had to ask. All this time you just had to ask."

Her hands slowly traveled up my chest and wrapped around my shoulders, and she brought her mouth to mine. This time I drank her in, swallowing her lips, her kisses with the desperation of a dying man. And she kissed me back with the same fervor. Her sweet lips moved all over my face. Her hands went in my hair and she tugged on it possessively. I moaned and my hands went around her hips and I picked her up and over me, lowering myself back on the bed. My mouth moved to her neck, and she raised it higher, granting me better access. I licked and I sucked, and Bella groaned beautifully over me.

But her voice sounded different again, older, and when I cupped her face to meet mine, she'd changed once more. She was no longer the shy, unsure sixteen year-old from our past, but the beautiful, mysterious woman now living in Seattle, with an innocence and purity that would never change, no matter how many years went by. And even though I could no longer see myself, I knew I'd aged back to the present with her.

For an immeasurable amount of time, Bella and I kissed and explored, her sweet tongue finally melding with mine until the need for air pulled her away, and I moved my mouth back to her neck, tasting her the way I'd always needed to. She tasted like honey and flowers and fresh air all mixed together.

"I've dreamt about this for so long."

"Me too. But it doesn't have to be a dream, Edward."

With her eyes on mine, she sat herself up over me and slowly reached down to the edges of her t-shirt, and in one quick motion it was off of her and discarded to the floor.

"I need you," Bella murmured. She reached her hands behind her back and undid the clasp of her lacy black bra, and slowly wriggled out of it, keeping her eyes on mine.

I swallowed thickly, unable to move my eyes from hers, but through my periphery I could see the full, creamy mounds, the dark pink centers, perky and hard. With my eyes still on hers, I reached my hands up and cupped them, groaning at the sensation; soft yet firm to the touch. They filled my hands perfectly, as if they'd been made with my specifications. Bella gasped and threw her head back, balancing herself by holding on to my thighs.

"Edward, please…" she moaned.

"Tell me you want me Bella."

"You _know_ I do," she whimpered.

"I need to here you say it." I caressed her breasts, lightly squeezing her pink nipples between my fingers, molding them gently between my hands.

"Oh God, Edward I want you. I want you now."

At some point I'd been unaware of, my boxer briefs had come off. Bella reached down and quickly took my hardness in her hand, and oh Jesus Christ I swore I'd died and gone to heaven, because nothing on God's green earth could possibly have felt better than that. I hissed and threw my head back against my pillow, my eyes rolling to the back of my head while she curled her small fingers around me as well as she could and stroked my length back and forth. All my remaining breath left my lungs. Because not only was Bella's hand on me, squeezing and stroking and caressing, but her hand felt smooth, lacking any obstructions, any rings.

Bella was free and she was finally _all mine_.

And then her small shorts were off. Once again the how of it unknown, but they joined the pile of clothing on the floor, and I looked up at a gloriously naked Bella on top of me, her full lips swollen from our kisses, her soft breasts flushed from excitement and my touch. I lowered my hands to her tiny waist and slowly, I guided her down on top of me, crying out when I finally felt myself fully sheathed in her heat, completely enveloped inside her. For a few seconds, I stopped breathing, because if having her stroke me had been like dying and going to heaven, the tightness gripping me for all I was worth now had no words, absolutely nothing to compare it to.

Bella whimpered when I entered her, placing her hands on my chest to hold herself up. She stilled and dropped her head forward. My hands trailed down slowly to her hips and then carefully, I guided her over me, moving her back and forth until we both found a mutual rhythm easily, and then thrust by thrust, cry by cry, we connected and claimed each other the way we'd always been meant to.

"_Oh Jesus Bella…oh baby…"_

"_Edward…yes Edward…yes…"_

She rocked over me slowly, her long silky hair fanning out in front of her, shielding us like a veil. Our moans and pleas filled the room and echoed off the walls, saturating the air around us, mixing and twisting together, and somewhere in the back of my mind I noted how our lovemaking sounded like a beautiful song.

But the physical connection quickly intensified and all other thoughts escaped me. The rocking, the rhythm increased, its tempo growing as our cries grew louder, our thrusts quicker and more demanding. I held her gaze, memorizing her face, each and every pant, each and every cry of ecstasy, the way her dark eyes smoldered and locked on mine, the way her tongue darted in and out, moistening her lips and calling for me. I lifted my hands to her neck, reaching up and tangling her long hair between my fingers, and gently pulled her down to take her tongue into my mouth.

A slight movement out of my periphery stopped me. When I looked over, Mike was standing in the corner of my room, looking exactly as he'd looked six years ago, with his letterman jacket on and his lip curled up in a sneer. I froze.

"What happened? What is it?" Bella asked breathlessly, turning her head in the direction I was looking.

"Don't you see him?" I growled, dropping my hands from her face and curling them into fists at my side.

"See who?" she panted.

"Mike. Don't you see Mike there?"

She frowned. "Mike's not there Edward."

Mike snickered and waved at me.

"Yes he is!" I snarled through clenched teeth.

Mike laughed.

My nostrils flared. "Yes he is!" I placed my hands on her hips and began to lift her off of me. "And I'm going to fucking kill him!"

"Edward!" Bella yelled. I stopped. She took a deep breath and cupped my face in her hands again. "There is no one there Edward."

I heard his taunting laughter again. "But-"

"No!" she insisted. "Listen to me. Please listen to me Edward. This is about you and me. This has always been just about you and me. _We_ are the only ones here." She lowered one hand to my chest again, right over my heart. "We are the only ones _here_."

My chest heaved, both fury and my previous excitement causing it to rise and fall quickly with each heavy breath. Slowly I looked over at the corner of my room. All I could make out now was a blurry shadow.

Bella gently turned my face back to hers. Her eyes were anguished.

"Please don't make this about Mike, Edward. This has never been about him. Tell me you'll remember that. _Please_. It's important-"

But I was still hard as a rock and inside her, and Mike was gone. And I needed her. Jesus, how I needed her. I held her hips between my hands and started moving her over me again. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.

"Please Edward…_ohh…please…_"

When I woke up a few minutes later, I was alone on my sofa. It took a full fifteen minutes for my heart rate to slow, but the memory of my dream stayed with me, all through my shower, while at the Martial Arts gym, and on the way back home to get ready for pre-dinner drinks with Mike and Bella. It wasn't the first time I'd dreamt about making love to Bella, and it wouldn't be the last. In fact, since she'd come back into my life, the dreams had become more the norm than the exception.

This dream though had been different. Usually our lovemaking took center stage in every dream. Whether we had conversations before or after I couldn't honestly say.

In this dream however, we'd definitely had a conversation, and for some reason I had the nagging feeling that if only I could remember what we'd been talking about…

But I couldn't. I was upset, I was anxious, and I was in a shitty mood. Racking my brain to remember anything other than the sex was something I didn't have time or patience for tonight.

So I didn't.

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><p><strong>AN: So what are we thinking now? **

**I want to thank everyone that's put this story on Alert and/or on their Favorites List. But would you consider leaving a review too? Thanks, it means a lot, and it only takes half a minute!**


	12. Chapter 11  War Games

**A/N: I was lucky enough to be interviewed by Hollie, who goes by the name 'WTF am I doing' (period in between each word) at the Twimusesdotcom blog. Go to my profile and click on the link if you'd like to read the interview! It'll give you a bit more insight on Edward and Bella in this story. **

**Some of you have asked again, so I'll say again, this story will be about 20 chapters or so. We are at about the halfway point right now. I try to update weekly, but there may be weeks I miss (such as last week) and weeks where I update twice (such as the week before that), but all in all, I expect to be done with this story by the end of the summer. (Or so).**

**My girl Danna0724 betad this longish chapter.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

**Chapter 11 – War Games**

**Chapter Song Rec: **_**Uprising**_** by Muse**

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><p>"Tell me again why the fuck you're taking Victoria to dinner with Bella tonight?" Emmett sat on the couch in my office, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his long legs and his hands laced together.<p>

"First of all, it's not dinner. Its pre-dinner _drinks,_" - I smirked, standing in front of the large mirror on the wall and knotting my tie - "and second, it's not with Bella, it's with Bella _and her_ _fiancée_," I clarified.

"So fucking what?" Emmett barked. "What are you trying to prove?"

"I'm not trying to prove shit," I said, a bit too defensively.

"Then why the fuck do you need to take Victoria tonight?" He leaned in more and lowered his voice, even though the door to my office was closed. "I thought…" – he tightened his lips - "I thought you had a thing for Bella."

I finished adjusting my tie and turned to face my brother. "I'm sorry, are you having trouble understanding the fact that she's _engaged_, and that her fucking _fiancée_ will be there tonight?"

Emmett shook his head and twisted his upper lip. "You know Edward, Rosie's right. You do need to thank your lucky stars for that face of yours, 'cause you seriously know jack shit about how to get the woman you want."

I glared at him for a few seconds before turning and walking to my desk to finish the reports I'd come in to work on.

"Tonight has nothing to do with what I may want or not want."

"Then what the hell does it have to do with Edward?" Emmett asked. "Look, it's become pretty obvious to more than just me over the past couple of weeks that there's more than just friendly feelings there between you and Bella, and shoving your admittedly-hot-but-cold-as-ice-bitch of a fuck buddy in Bella's face is not the way to go bro."

I looked at him coolly and snorted. "The only thing that's obvious Em, is that Bella wants to make sure I'm aware of where the boundaries lie. And I'm not trying to shove Victoria in _her_ face."

Emmett's eyes narrowed. "But you are trying to shove her in someone's face," he deduced. He tilted his head and frowned. "You got beef with B's fiancée bro, I mean, other than for the fact that he's…well he's B's fiancée?"

I squared my jaw, my shoulders stiffening, but didn't answer. My blind hatred of Mike, and all the number of reasons why, was something I'd keep to and deal with myself. I had a plan for tonight; for showing Mike who the hell had ended up being the asshole. And yeah, part of that plan may have involved shoving Vicki in his face. Because she may have been a cold bitch like Emmett said, but she was an undeniably beautiful cold bitch. Any man with two eyes in his head would see that.

I let out a large gust of air, my shoulders sagging.

Vicki may have been beautiful, but she was…absolutely nothing next to Bella. Any man with two eyes in his head would be able to see that too. But she would serve as my date tonight, my distraction, and Mike would never know that while Vicki would be the one at my side, _his_ fiancée was the one in my heart and in my mind. I squared my shoulders again. Knowledge was power, and _that_ bit of knowledge was a power I'd never give him again.

Emmett shook his head and stood up, walking to the door. He turned one last time. "You're playing this game all wrong little bro, but I guess you're just gonna have to learn that on your own."

"I'm not playing a game Emmett," I said, meeting his eyes.

He snorted and chuckled. "You're right. You know that saying, 'All's fair in love and war?'"

I rolled my eyes and nodded, leaning back in my chair. "Yeah, I know the saying."

He shook his head. "If you feel about Bella the way I think you do, you _are_ in a war." He paused and looked at me squarely. "Just make sure you fight the right battles."

OOOOOOOOOO

It was ten after six when I parked the car in a lot down the street from Chapel, a restaurant bar in downtown Seattle catering to twenty-somethings out for good food and premium drinks. The space itself was quirky; located in a converted funeral chapel. The restaurant wasn't very far from Eclipse, nestled in between a row of trendy restaurants on Melrose Avenue.

I cut the engine on the Audi, my first gift to myself once business at Eclipse had exploded, and looked over at my passenger. Victoria sat across from me with her long legs crossed, her tight skirt riding up all the way to her upper thighs. With the car's overhead mirror down, she traced her bottom lip carefully with a blood-red stick, circling around her entire mouth with the precision of a surgeon. And around and around she went again.

"Jesus Christ, aren't you ready yet? We're already ten minutes late," I said impatiently.

She sighed and lifted her brows, circling once more before methodically closing the stick and putting the mirror back up. She turned to me with her black glittery eyes and impossibly red lips.

"Yes, I'm ready," she said coolly.

I rolled my eyes and put my hand on the handle to open the door. Vicki grabbed my arm before I could get out.

"Don't think just because you asked me out for drinks with your friends I've forgiven you for last week."

"I wouldn't dare think such a thing," I said sarcastically.

"And don't think I'm gonna fuck you at the end of the night either."

"Vicki, I asked you out for drinks. Nothing else," I said clearly, knowing full well how full of shit she was. If I wanted to fuck her at the end of the night, it wouldn't take much work on my part. It never had.

Twilight was just approaching as we walked towards the restaurant. People strolled up and down the neighborhood, enjoying the dry evening and fading light of day. Vicki put her arm through mine, and we were halfway up the block when the evening breeze wafted the neighboring scents through the air, mixing with the sweet scent of strawberries.

Bella was standing outside the restaurant - her eyes focused in the opposite direction from which we approached - and it simply took one look at her for me to realize how ridiculously ambitious my plans for the evening had been. Pretend I didn't want her? Is that what I'd been planning?

She wore a simple black wrap dress which fell over her knees and clung elegantly from every single curve on her body. Her hair was up in a braided bun, and even from here I could see the wisps of hair that still framed her creamy skin. Red toenails peeked out from her black heeled sandals, and her lips wore a matching red gloss. She took one of those lips between her teeth as we approached, and for a fraction of a second I completely forgot why we were here. I forgot that I had someone else hanging on my arm. All I could see was the heartbreakingly beautiful woman with the nervous expression a few feet from me, and my mouth involuntarily turned up at the edges. She craned her neck further out in the opposite direction, searching, and I was about to call her name, when an arm suddenly went around her waist and a pair of lips moved close to her ear.

The smile fell from my lips. In an instant I forced all expression off of my face, and by the time Bella turned her head in the opposite direction and saw me, my face was a mask of nothing.

Bella's face broke out into a huge grin when she saw me, but in the following instant her smile faltered. Her eyes moved just to the left of me and her expression shifted. When she smiled again, it wasn't the same smile she'd been wearing just a couple of seconds before.

The shift in her expression caught the attention of the man who'd just had his lips by her neck, a neck _I'd_ been licking and sucking on in my dreams just a few hours ago, and he turned his attention in our direction. He looked right past me, his eyes falling momentarily on Vicki and roaming up and down appreciatively. My lip twisted up in a snarl. Not because he'd gazed appreciatively at the woman next to me, but because of the woman next to him. After a couple of seconds his eyes drifted on, apparently not realizing who we were. In a few steps we'd reached them, and Bella looked up at me while Mike's eyes kept roaming down the street.

"Edward."

"Bella, you look lovely this evening."

She blushed and Mike's head whipped back, staring at me incomprehensively for a few seconds before recognition finally dawned on him.

"Cullen?" he exclaimed, wide-eyed.

"Newton."

His jaw fell to the floor.

"Oh shit, Cullen," he finally laughed, sticking his hand out to shake mine. I looked down at it for a split-second longer than necessary before extending my own. We gripped each other's hands hard, and I was momentarily gratified at the way he tried to subtly shake his hand out when we let go.

"Shit," he said again, "I wouldn't have known you from Adam. I can't believe how much you've…changed." He looked over at Bella quickly, but her head was down, and the second he looked away she looked up and met my eyes. The strangely smug look in them, as if she were somehow pleased by Mike's reaction, made me want to laugh. She looked down again as if she were trying to hide her own smile.

"Yes, well, you look…exactly the same," I said evenly. His face hadn't changed much, and other than for the fact that he'd traded his letterman jacket for a dark, pin-striped suit better suited for a board room meeting than for drinks at a restaurant, it would've been the same Mike Newton from high school. But when my eyes traveled up to the top of his forehead, I was pretty sure I saw the beginnings of a receding hairline. I stifled another laugh.

Mike seemed to realize where my eyes had gone, especially since I hadn't been subtle about it.

He chuckled nervously. "Well, not exactly the same."

I gave him a phony chuckle in return.

Someone next to me cleared her throat.

"Bella, I…think you've met Vicki."

Bella smiled pleasantly. "Good to see you again Vicki."

"Likewise," I heard Vicki answer coolly.

"And this…is Mike." It would be a cold day in hell before I introduced him to anyone as Bella's fiancée. Fuck that. I swallowed and kept the phony smile plastered to my face.

Once we'd done with all the introductions we all turned and walked into the restaurant, and I had to restrain myself from pulling Mike's arm off as he led Bella in by placing his hand on the small of her back.

Cue longest ninety minutes of my life. Ever.

We were seated at one of the high tables by the bar.

"This is great!" Mike exclaimed as soon as the four of us were seated. "As soon as Bella told me she'd bumped into you Edward, I knew we just had to get together."

"Yeah, I'm sure you did," I answered dryly.

Mike smiled curiously, and Bella bit her lip, wrinkling her forehead. She adjusted her napkin over her lap.

When the waitress approached us, Mike ordered a bottle of '96 Bordeaux for the table.

Bella gently put her hand on his arm to get his attention. "Mike, you know I don't drink wine," she said softly.

"Just try a glass of this one sweetie," he smiled, the condescension in his voice, as well as the term of endearment, making me bristle. "You'll like it. You'll see." Then he turned back to the waitress. "And please bring-"

"Actually," I cut in, getting the waitress' attention. Her eyes grew wide and she grinned widely at me. "I won't be having wine tonight. Just bring me a bottle of Sam Adams Reserve, please. Vicki, how about you?"

"I actually think I'll try the wine," she giggled. _Traitor_.

"Bella, how about you? Would you like a Sam Adams?" It was what we'd been drinking the night we'd all had dinner and a movie at her place, and if I remembered correctly – and I was pretty sure I did – she'd been really fond of them.

She bit her lip. "Uhm, no, that's fine. I'll just try the wine."

I stared at her for two seconds before looking away.

"So Edward, Bella tells me you run a club not too far from here," Mike said. I turned to look at him. He was watching me with a pleasant smile.

"My brother Emmett and I _own_ it, actually."

"Mike, I did say he owns it," Bella clarified, putting her hand gently on his arm and blushing.

He furrowed his brows and smiled at her. "Did you sweetie?"

"Yes."

"And _I'm_ there to make sure it's the hottest dance club in Seattle," Vicki grinned vainly. She moved in closer to me and threaded her arm through mine.

Bella's eyes traveled to where Vicki was holding me and then looked back up quickly. "Edward and Emmett's club is the place to be in Seattle," she said, smiling again.

Mike reached out and wrapped his hand around Bella's left hand over the table. I resisted the almost overwhelming urge to shove it off.

"So I take it it's a popular spot?" he asked.

"It's pretty successful, yes," I replied, nodding.

He grinned. "Well we'll definitely have to toast to that when our drinks get here then. Actually, I wanted to thank you Edward. Bella says you had a hand in helping her get her current job." He turned his head towards her slightly. "Not that I think someone with your current opportunities in New York-"

"Mike," she warned quietly.

He smiled. "Sorry sweetie. We'll talk about it later."

Jesus, we were five minutes into this farce of a night and I was already a hair's breadth away from beating Mike to a bloody pulp.

"You don't need to thank me Mike. That's what friends are for, right?"

I stared closely at him, looking for the jealousy, for the bitterness, for the look that would clearly say 'stay the fuck away from my fiancée,' so that I could laugh in his fucking face. So that this time _I_ could be the one to make him squirm.

But he smiled again; nothing but gratitude evident in the set of his features. "You're absolutely right man. That is what friends are for. And Bella's lucky to have run into you again. I remember you both were good friends back in high school, and I'm glad to know she's got you and a group of friends she can count on now here in Seattle."

I searched for the insincerity in his tone, in the gleam of his blue eyes, so that I could call him out on it and expose him for the fucking phony he'd always been.

But I couldn't find it. He smiled at me gratefully once more and gave Bella's hand a tight squeeze.

What. The Fuck?

"So I hear you're in mergers and acquisitions back in New York?" I asked, trying to give myself some time to figure out his game plan, as well as to turn the attention back to him. Someone with his ego wouldn't be able to resist the chance to drone on and on and make himself sound like an overbearing asshole.

He sat back against his seat and drew in a deep breath. "Yeah," he said off-handedly. "I was lucky enough to intern while still at NYU with one of the big three financial houses on Wall Street, and…well," he turned to Bella and she smiled softly at him, "I guess I was just in the right place at the right time." He let his eyes rest on Bella for a few seconds.

After a moment she blinked. "You earned it Mike," she added, almost as an afterthought.

He smiled at her and squeezed her hand again, and God, I'd never wanted to rip a man's arm off as much as I did tonight.

"Yeah well," he said with a shrug, "I think in the past couple of months I've come to realize there are more important things than the proverbial corner office." He shook his head quickly. "But enough about me. Tell me more about you, Edward. What else have you been up to since we left high school?"

His request caught me off guard. I'd been expecting him to talk about himself for hours and show himself off to be an arrogant prick.

"I…uhm…"

Just then our drinks arrived. The waitress poured everyone except me a glass of wine, and then placed a bottle of Sam Adams and an empty glass in front of me, batting her eyelashes at me the whole time. Vicki openly glared up at her and tightened her arm around mine. Ignoring the glass and the women, I took a long swig straight from the bottle.

What the fuck was going on here? This wasn't the Mike Newton I'd been expecting. I'd more or less expected him to be surprised by the Edward Cullen he found before him now. No longer zit-faced, four-eyed, or lanky. And fuck, I'd counted on that rattling him, making him hostile and fuck…yeah, jealous. I'd expected hard glares and veiled warnings that I could blatantly enjoy and then ignore with a wide grin.

But instead I'd gotten gratitude and a fucking blessing to me and Bella's friendship, and modesty about his own success. No matter how hard I searched, no where behind his eyes could I see a contradiction to his words.

Mike swirled his wine glass around a couple of times before taking a sip. "Delicious," he stated.

"It is, isn't it?" Vicki agreed. "This is a perfect bottle you've picked out Mike," she complimented him.

"Thank you," he replied pleasantly. "I've become a bit of a…a wine connoisseur, I guess you can say, in the past few years, and I'm always trying to get Bella to try different ones, aren't I sweetie?"

"But as I keep telling you Mike, I just don't like wine." Bella smiled at him, but I thought I detected a slight hint of frustration in her eyes.

"Come on sweetie, just take a sip. I promise you'll like this one."

"Mike…" she complained. I studied them both through narrowed eyes.

"Just one sip Bella. You'll see. You'll like this one."

She stared at him for a few seconds, and then sighing, picked up her glass and took a hesitant sip. She swallowed slowly, and I could tell from the blank expression on her face that she hadn't enjoyed it.

"So what do you think?" Mike asked her.

She gave him another one of her soft smiles, making me cringe internally.

"It's okay, I guess."

Mike smiled widely. "See, I told you."

Her eyes met mine for a fraction of a second before she looked down at the wine glass in her hands.

Vicki giggled. "I'm always trying to get Edward to try new things too but he is just so stubborn," she laughed, clinging tightly to my arm.

"I'm not stubborn," I said, keeping my eyes on my beer bottle, "I simply don't need someone telling me what to like or not like."

Vicki giggled again. "Yeah, that's not being stubborn."

Out of my periphery, I could see Bella biting her lip with her eyes still on her own glass.

For the next hour or so, we kept up a conversation about mundane topics, though Vicki and Mike carried most of the conversations, while Bella smiled nervously and I tried not to bash my beer bottle over Mike's balding head.

The shit of it was, he wasn't even being an asshole. A bit pompous, maybe, but other than that, he laughed pleasantly, carried on a normal conversation, tried to include me in as much of the talk as possible, and other than holding Bella's hand and occasionally giving it a slight squeeze, did nothing to overtly shove his relationship with her down my throat.

I'd never hated him more.

I'd been ready for Mike Newton, all-star jock, high-school golden boy, petty, self-absorbed, self-centered prick. And I'd wanted to gloat. I'd wanted to see the discomfort in his eyes, even the anger, at the knowledge that Bella was thousands of miles away from him and in my company now. Not in Crusty Cullen's company, a four-eyed zit-faced geek Mike had never had any reason to be jealous of, but in Edward Cullen's company, a man who admittedly had women falling left and right for him, and as successful a man as he was.

But there was no discomfort, no jealousy, no envy. I'd been cheated out of all of it, and not even the slight bulge around Mike's middle that showed through when he unbuttoned his suit jacket could make up for that.

I picked up my bottle, downed it and ordered another one.

Seventy-three minutes into this sham, that undeniably pleasant goddamned smile was _still_ plastered onto Mike's face. "So Bella tells me she and Alice have got you watching their crappy '80s movies?"

"They're not too bad, I suppose," I answered with my own smile. I tried to ignore the sharp, stabbing pain in my chest.

Bella, I'd learned in the past hour or so, had a habit of sharing everything she said or did here in Seattle with her fiancée all the way at the other end of the country. And apparently our movie night - a night that up until three seconds ago I'd thought had perhaps been something special between me us - was no exception.

"Well, you're a better man than I am for indulging them with that one," he laughed, taking a sip of his second glass of wine. Bella's sat mostly untouched in front of her. Vicki was on her third. "I think that's one of the reasons Alice and I…don't see eye to eye," he went on. "She insists on having Bella embrace her inner teenager, whereas I think it's important to leave all that behind."

"Mike," - Bella warned again softly - "not now."

"I'm just saying sweetie," Mike continued, "that we're adults now, with adult responsibilities. What do you guys think?" he asked, looking across the table.

"I think you're absolutely right," Vicki chimed in right away. "That's why I'm so glad Edward isn't like his brother Emmett, who thinks life is one big amusement ride-"

I cut the traitor off. "I agree that we're no longer who we were as teenagers," I said coolly, trying to control myself, "though as my brother Emmett constantly reminds me, life is about much more than just the bottom line." I looked up and met Mike's eyes. "Though I can see why some of us would want to leave our inner teenagers behind. It might not necessarily be someone we'd be proud of as adults."

Silence surrounded our table for the space of ten seconds. I held Mike's gaze. Waiting. That _had_ to force some sort of reaction from him. I waited for the unavoidable sneer; for the thinly veiled jab, for him to tell me to go fuck myself so that I could grin wryly and show Bella what she was really engaged to.

Nothing.

Fuck.

He met my gaze and shit, instead of anger, I could swear I saw shame in his expression. After a few seconds he looked down at his wine glass. When I looked at Bella she was watching me with her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Mike," she said, turning her eyes to him, "Al and I aren't necessarily trying to embrace our inner teenagers, but sometimes it feels…good to keep some of who we were as a teenager alive. Sometimes who we were as kids, before the responsibilities of adulthood took over, is the best measure of what we are as adults." Her eyes flashed to me for just a split second. Mike kept his eyes on his wine glass and didn't answer. Bella swallowed and picked up her wine glass, tracing the edges of the top with her index finger. "And sometimes it's not."

"That's a very simplified way of looking at things Bella," Vicki volunteered.

Bella looked at Vicki as if she'd forgotten she was there. "Things don't always need to be complicated."

Vicki smiled at Bella. "You are very…young Bella, aren't you? How long have you been out of college again?"

Bella stared at Vicki and didn't answer.

"Bella's only a couple of years younger than me Vicki," I answered for her. Vicki glared at me.

When Vicki excused herself a few minutes later to run to the ladies room, Mike turned to me.

"Edward…I want to apologize if I said anything earlier that may have come out…wrong."

I snorted. "You didn't-"

He cut me off. "Hold on for a sec. Let me just get this out." He took a deep breath and looked at me through eyes full of self-reproach. "Look, I know I wasn't exactly…decent to you back in high school. In fact, I was pretty much an asshole. I want to apologize," he said evenly. "I don't know if Bella told you, but I lost my parents a couple of years ago to a drunk-driving accident…"

The urge to roll my eyes was…overwhelming, and yeah, I knew how fucked up that was. He trailed off and became silent. I looked at Bella. She'd turned their joined hands over and now she was the one tightening her grip on his hand, her eyes full of _his_ pain. I swallowed hard and forced myself to look away.

Mike cleared his throat. "Anyway, I've come to realize what's really important in life." He looked back up at me. "Again, I want to thank you for being there for Bella over these past couple of weeks."

"Like I said, it's no big deal," I repeated.

"But it is," Mike insisted. "Bella is very…independent. I mean, do you have any idea how hard I had to work at getting that ring on her finger?" he joked. Bella smiled and looked down. "It took two years of begging her for a simple date. But you know what they say…sometimes it takes a tragedy for two people to realize how much they mean to each other. Anyway, I just want you to know I'm not the jerk I was in high school. I've grown, and I've learned. I know what makes Bella happy, and I'll use that knowledge as much as I can."

I frowned, because for the slightest fraction of a second, I thought I saw something in his eyes.

But whatever it had been was quickly gone.

"You know," Mike said, "Bella was telling me how nice the waterfront here in Seattle's become. She said you and she had a good time there the other night. Maybe next time I'm down we can all go out for a proper dinner there, instead of just drinks? All of us, including Alice and her new guy, and your brother Emmett. What do you think Edward?"

For the love of all that's holy, had nothing over the past couple of weeks been sacred to Bella?

She'd told him _everything_. Even our day down by the waterfront had been fair game. My heart contracted painfully, but I kept my face blank and forced myself to meet Bella's eyes. She was smiling, but there was something off about her smile. For a split second, something flashed through my mind; an image, a memory of a dream.

"_You have to fight…because I'm lost too…"_

In the next millisecond I saw a snippet of this morning's dream flash behind my eyes; an image of Bella, naked and on top of me, moaning in ecstasy.

I forced it all out of my mind.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Alright then," he grinned widely. "I really wish we could've had more time to catch up tonight, but I'm only here for one night this trip, and well…I'm sure you understand how anxious I am to spend some time with Bella."

"Of course," I agreed, digging my fingers into the wood under the table.

"And then she's got to work tonight, on top of it all," he added with a roll of his eyes. "I don't understand-"

"Mike, I told you I couldn't get out of it," Bella told him. "It'll only be Rosalie and me behind the bar tonight."

Mike shook his head and smiled, leaning close to her ear. "At least we'll have some privacy at the Hilton afterwards." Bella turned beet red and looked down, tracing the edge of her glass again.

And I'd had enough of this shit. I had to get the fuck out of here, away from them, before I did something really stupid.

"Well, tell Bella to let us know when you'll be back in town, and we'll set something up," I said, trying to sound as pleasant and nonchalant as possible. Mike's phone rang just then and he excused himself from the table, leaving Bella and I alone for the first time all evening.

Neither one of us looked at the other. The silence surrounding us was deafening, especially in comparison to the loud chatter and tingling glasses from the other tables around us. Studiously avoiding Bella's gaze, I sat back in my seat, running the tips of my fingers back and forth along the edges of the table.

"You know, you really shouldn't do that," came a soft, slightly shaky voice from across the table. Bella continued speaking to me with her eyes on her full glass of wine. "I waitressed at a restaurant once, and they give these chairs and tables only the most perfunctory of cleanings, and with a dirty rag at that. That edge there is probably swarming with germs and all sorts of bacteria," she rambled.

I ran my fingers along the table in longer, more purposeful motions. She sighed and took a rare sip from her wine glass.

"How's your wine?" I asked, finally looking at her, my voice laced in sarcasm.

She swallowed thickly. "Not too bad," she answered, still not looking at me. "I suppose it grows on you."

"Does it now?" I snorted, with the same tone of sarcasm. I picked up my beer bottle. "Well this here tastes mighty good," I grinned, and then took a huge drink, smacking my lips together exaggeratedly once I was done. When I brought the bottle down she was watching me impassively. "But tonight you're not a beer type of girl are you, Bella?"

We glared at each other.

"Would you like some Bella?" I held the bottle out to her. She watched me through inscrutable eyes.

Vicki chose that moment to return. "Are you ready to go?" she asked, standing next to me.

"Yeah." I smirked, keeping my eyes on Bella. I slammed the beer bottle back down on the table. Bella flinched almost imperceptibly, but said nothing. "I'm ready."

Mike returned and we all said our goodbyes, promising to have another fun night like this once again next time he was in town. Vicki snaked her arm through mine again and we were just about to walk away when a soft hand landed on my shoulder, and as much as part of me wanted to keep walking and ignore it, because the feel of it brought as much pain as pleasure, I turned around.

Bella looked at me sheepishly. "Edward don't…don't forget tomorrow night we're watching another movie, at our place. The eighties aren't over yet," she joked weakly. I didn't smile back. Her grin faltered. "You'll…you'll be there, right?"

My heart clenched painfully.

That day in high school, when I'd run and refused to look back, was so much easier than this.

"Yeah. Sure I'll be there."

Before turning back around, my eyes fell on Mike, and for the first time all evening, I thought I saw something closer to what I'd been expecting all night flash in his eyes.

Anger. Jealousy. Pure undisguised loathing.

By the time I blinked, his mouth was turned up in his pleasant grin, and I realized it'd just been wishful thinking on my part. He shook his head and laughed. "Like I said before Cullen, you're a better man than me."

We left the restaurant, leaving Bella and her fiancée to their dinner alone.

OOOOOOOOOO

Somehow, I ended up in front of my place instead of at the club. It wasn't until I'd parked the car that I even remembered Vicki was in the passenger seat next to me.

I sighed and turned the ignition back on. "Let me drop you off at the club."

She snorted and shook her head. "You are so fucked up its not even funny."

"Look," I growled. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit, so let me just drop you off at the club-"

Before I could finish my sentence she'd leaned over and wrapped her arms around my neck, plunging her tongue inside my mouth.

I pushed her off. "Victoria, I don't have the patience for this shit tonight."

"Why?" she grinned impishly. "Because you've fallen for someone who's engaged?"

I didn't answer, which was apparently all the confirmation she needed.

She snorted and shook her head again. "Do you think I'm fucking blind or stupid? God, it was obvious the second you laid eyes on her! Do you even realize what the first words out of your mouth were when we got there? 'You look lovely tonight Bella.' Like I was some sack of shit standing next to you. You never even told me how _I_ looked tonight Edward!"

I closed my eyes and exhaled through my nose. "Shit Vicki, I'm sorry. You do look…nice tonight."

She chuckled humorlessly. "Oh Edward," she said, shaking her head. And then she brought her mouth to mine again.

I pushed her away again. "Why are you doing this, if you know…"

She rolled her eyes. "What are you going to do Edward? Turn into a monk now because you can't have the girl you want?" I didn't answer. She laughed before sighing loudly and tilting her head to the side, studying me. "What do you think little Miss Bella will be doing tonight once dinner is over, huh? You think she and her fiancée will be watching TV until the wee hours of the morning? One of those eighties movies she plays for you? No. _She_ will be fucking her fiancée's brains out, while _you_ lie in your bed all alone," she taunted, "thinking of her and dreaming of movie night tomorrow."

The image she painted brought on a whole new level of rage. My breathing hardened, my nostrils flared. I glared at her, fiery red hair to match a fiery red heart. She smiled wickedly. And then I grabbed that red hair and brought my mouth down on hers roughly, our lips smacking together audibly. I could feel her still smiling against my mouth, and it infuriated me even more.

"You know this means nothing to me," I told her, trying to wipe the smile off her face. But she only laughed.

"We'll see about that."

Somehow we made it into my apartment, slamming the door loudly behind us as I pushed her up against it, stripping her coat off and grabbing her wild curls between my hands before bringing my mouth to her neck. She tugged my dinner jacket off with the same brusqueness and threw it on the floor, ripping the front of my shirt open and turning and pushing me against the door. The buttons scattered about with quiet clinks. I grabbed the front of her shirt angrily between both hands and tore it in half, the silky material flowing to the floor in two pieces. She gasped and then laughed again, before throwing her arms around my shoulders, running her nails down my back and up again, pulling my hair roughly while our mouths traveled hungrily up and down each other's chests. And all the time, I didn't let myself think, I pulled and pushed, sucked and nipped, losing myself in what she gave easily, focusing on her red hair, her cool blue eyes, putting brown and soft and unattainable behind me.

Victoria's hands went down to my pants and she lowered my zipper quickly, snaking her hand in roughly. I moaned at the feel of her hand around me; pleasure, pain, guilt, rage, all mixing and tumbling together inside. With her other hand she quickly undid the button and my pants dropped to the floor, and then she was freeing me and stroking me back and forth unapologetically.

"God Edward, I've missed this," she hissed, using both hands while my mind swam. I threw my head back against the wall and focused on the here and now; on the woman paying _me_ her attentions, telling _me-_ damn it _showing m_e that she wanted to be with _me_.

My hands went under Victoria's tight skirt, pulling it up quickly to her waist and ripping her panties off. With no warning I sunk two fingers deep inside her.

She cried out loudly. "Yes Edward. Oh God yes," she groaned.

Images suddenly flooded my mind; a soft, warm face with long brown hair, her eyes sparkling with joy when she caught sight of me, smiling mischievously as we played pool, telling me all her secrets by the dim light of the TV, staring out at the setting sun with me.

'_Your eyes are windows Edward…'_

'_The lead singer reminds me of you Edward…'_

'_I'd like to be good friends again Edward…'_

'_Maybe you've never looked close enough to see it…'_

"Edward…yes Edward…" Victoria breathed, while my fingers pumped in and out of her.

And then suddenly, images from a vague dream attacked me.

_Bella on top of me, rocking softly. 'Edward…yes Edward…'_

'_This is about you and me…this has always been just about you and me…'_

'_You have to fight…I'm lost too…'_

"Oh God Edward, I need more. I want you inside me. Now…" Vicki begged.

'_Don't you feel what I feel Edward?' _

"Fuuuck!" I growled, pushing Victoria away from me.

She scampered back, wide-eyed, breathing hard. "What? What is it?" she panted.

"I…" – I ran a frustrated hand through my hair – "I can't do this."

Victoria stared at me for a long time.

"I'm sorry," I finally said, breathing hard, "but I can't do this. I…Victoria, I think you and I are better off as just…friends. I can't pretend-"

She scowled at me. "What do you think Edward? That after I've helped you build Eclipse into what it is today, you're just going to throw me off to the side? You think you're just going to push me out of the picture and bring your little Ivy League princess to take my place at the club?"

"No! This has nothing to do with her or with the club!"

"This has everything to do with her!" Vicki screamed. She adjusted her skirt and ran her fingers through her red curls, marching around the room and picking her coat off the floor.

"You want to be a sorry sack of shit and pine over a girl you can't have, that's your fucking problem!" she spat, putting her coat on over her bra and buttoning it up. Her shirt and panties lay in tatters on the floor. "But don't think for one second that you're going to push _me_ out of Eclipse! _I_ made that club what it is, and I'm not letting you take it away from me!"

"That's not my intention!" I yelled back. "I just think we should go back to only having a business relationship!"

She stalked over to me. "That's what you want" - she hissed, blue eyes burning - "then that's how you'll have it! But don't come running to me when little Miss Ivy League ties the knot and leaves you staring after her and holding her lacy white train up like a fucking pussy!"

With that, she turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

I stared after her for a long time. Not because I regretted letting her go. My mind was a fucking mess. I had no idea what I was doing, or why. Victoria had been partially right, at least. Bella would be tying the knot one day soon, and what the fuck would _I_ be doing then?

What _was_ I doing now?

I threw my head up and roared. Roared like a fucking lion. I stormed to the middle of the room and picked the coffee table up, slamming it against the wall. I stalked to the other side of the room and threw a lamp against the opposite wall. I flung paintings and furniture, anything I could get my hands on. And when there was nothing left to throw, I roared again until my throat was too hoarse to make another sound.

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><p><strong>AN: Still with me? I know, I know. But things get better from here on out guys. It's a turning point of sorts. Like I said, this is the halfway point, and now we've made it through the rough spots. :D**

**Reviews are **_**so much**_** better than drinks with your old nemesis. Show me some love (or hate) and leave one please and thank you.**


	13. Chapter 12  Say Anything

**A/N: Lots of you wondered last chapter whether Mike had really changed. The answer is in the details. :D **

**Go to my profile for another cool banner to this story, with a cool pic of geeky Edward. By Elliania (Thanks so much girlie!)**

**Thanks to my lovely beta Danna0724, for giving me cool lines every now and then when I lack inspiration.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12 – Say Anything<strong>

**Chapter Song Recs: **

_**In your Eyes**_** by Peter Gabriel  
><strong>_**Change the World**_** by Eric Clapton  
><strong>_**Wake Me Up When September Ends**_** by Green Day**

My cell phone was vibrating again. I stared at it, where it laid making strange spastic movements over the three-legged coffee table in front of me, watching Emmett's name and number light up the screen. I turned my head back to the TV and sunk deeper into the couch.

It rang again five minutes later. And then again five minutes after that.

Jesus, the guy was worse than a fucking mother hen.

A few minutes later, the familiar vibrating started up again.

I coughed up some more phlegm and stared at the phone emptily, but this time the number that appeared on the screen wasn't Emmett's. I debated for five seconds whether to pick it up or not.

"Yeah." My voice came out rough and hoarse.

"Well hello to you too," Alice said cheerily. "Emmett wasn't exaggerating. You sound like shit."

I smirked into the phone and coughed again. "What's going on Shorty? How'd the date with Jasper go the other night?"

It was an absent-minded question, asked indifferently while I watched the next contestant belt out a tune on the screen, and requiring nothing more than 'good' or even 'great' as an answer. But Alice proceeded to delve into the subject with more detail and enthusiasm than I could've ever imagined, or wanted to hear. She paused at the end of her slightly inappropriate speech and took a deep breath, while I sat in startled silence.

"Was that TMI?"

"I gotta say, that was just a bit TMI. But thanks for lifting the feverish haze off my brain."

Alice giggled, completely unfazed by her verbal diarrhea.

"Glad I could be of help," she laughed as another coughing fit attacked me. "So is this why you weren't at movie night last night?"

"Yeah. Why else would I have missed what promised to be such a fun evening?" I heard the bite in my tone.

The truth? Yeah, I was sick as a dog. Just my luck Bella would've been right about all the damned germs on the edges of that table a couple of nights ago.

"I don't know." She sounded more serene all of a sudden. "I…heard you met up with Bella and Mike for drinks a couple of nights ago." In the background I could hear Jake barking. "Shhh, Jakey, relax. I just said his name, he's not here," Alice assured Jake.

"Yeah, so?" I answered defensively.

"It's just that…I know Mike." – More barking – "Jakey, relax!"

I didn't say anything.

"So…how'd it go?"

"Why don't you ask your roommate?"

Alice sighed heavily. "What happened?"

I coughed again. "Nothing happened. Mike…was a loving and attentive boyfriend. And your roomy, well, she was the perfect Stepford girlfriend. We had a blast."

Alice exhaled loudly. "Look Edward, there are things…well, there's a lot I can't say, because of my status as Bella's BFF-"

"Why are you calling me Alice?"

"Because I'm not blind Edward." Again we were silent. "Edward, whatever Bella you saw the other night, that's not the real her."

I snorted cynically. "Oh she was real enough."

"No," Alice insisted. "Edward, you have no idea how much I wish I could-" – she stopped herself and then blew out some air – "Look, my hands are tied here right now."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means YOU need to Open. Your. Eyes!"

"My eyes are _wide_ open."

"No. I don't think they are. If they were, then-" She stopped again.

After another long pause, I coughed again. "Well Shorty, if you're not going to actually finish any of your sentences, I've gotta go. Sharon Osborne's giving one of the contestants a piece of her cherry red mind, and I for one don't want to miss it."

"Ugh!" Alice moaned. "Emmett was right! You are frustrating as all hell!"

I rolled my eyes. "Glad I could give you both something to bond over. Bye."

"Bye!"

I laughed for the first time in days, before being riddled by another wave of coughs.

OOOOOOOOOO

I was floating away on a Nyquil-induced cloud, vaguely aware of the sound of someone singing extremely off-key, and a bell chiming in the distance. I turned myself over on the sofa and snuggled deeper into my blanket in an effort to drown out the noise, holding the pillow tighter over my head. But the wailing continued, and in between wails the bell chimed consistently.

Wail. Ring. Pause. Wail. Ring. Ring. Pause. Wail. Ring. Ring.

A flicker of awareness washed over my self-medicated brain, and I realized the constant buzzing wasn't just in my head. It was my doorbell. When I swung the door open sharply, the shock of who stood on the other side brought on a fresh hacking attack, doubling me over.

Bella transferred whatever she was holding to the crook of one arm, and used her other hand to pat me on the back. She wrinkled her forehead.

After a couple of minutes, the coughing stopped, but her warm hand stayed on my back.

"Are you okay?"

I straightened up and looked at Bella. Gone was the hairdo and fancy dress from the other night. This Bella wore jeans and a sweatshirt, and her hair hung loose and carefree behind her back. _This_ was the Bella I knew. Or the Bella I'd begun to think I'd known.

"What are you doing here?"

The hoarseness of my voice and the undeniable resentment I'd been harboring for the past couple of days made the words came out harsher than I'd meant them to.

Bella jerked back and dropped her hand from my back. "I…Al said she spoke to you and you didn't sound well." She stared at a big grey pot between her hands. "I called the club but Emmett told me you haven't been in for the past couple of nights so…since I'd made chicken soup tonight I thought I'd bring you some. But if you'd rather be alone-" – suddenly she blushed bright red – "or," she stuttered "if you have company I'll just leave this with you. Feel better." She handed me the pot without looking at me and started to turn away.

"Bella," I said quickly. She stopped and turned towards me again, biting her lip and staring at the pot.

The sting of betrayal still nipped at my chest. But when Bella was near me, I never wanted her to leave.

"You want to come in?"

She stared at me, as if debating with herself, and then shrugged slowly.

"If I'm not interrupting…" she said carefully.

I snorted and shook my head. "No. No, you're not interrupting."

She eyed me carefully and then moved around me into the apartment. I walked in behind her, following her into my living room and trying to control my coughs. She turned around and frowned.

I made myself speak through my hacking. "I've gotta warn you. The apartment is pretty much a Petri dish at this point."

She chuckled but it had a nervous tone to it. "I lived in New York for four years. I think I've built up a pretty good immune system." Her eyes scanned the large room, dark brows furrowing. That was when I remembered I'd never bothered to clean up after my tantrum a couple of nights ago. I followed her eyes; clothes strewn all over the place, pictures hanging crookedly on the walls, a smashed lamp on the floor, the three-legged coffee table.

A total disaster area.

I looked down at myself quickly and realized I didn't look much better in my old sweatpants and wife beater. When I ran my hand through my hair, I could feel it standing on ends.

"Must've been some party," she joked.

I snorted. "Yeah, some party."

We stared at each other. Abruptly she walked over to me and took the pot. "So do you want me to warm this up? It'll make you feel better," she said softly.

I shrugged, even though the smell of whatever was inside the pot was driving me crazy. It'd been a couple of days since I'd had anything other than beer and crackers.

"Sure, why not?" I said, sounding less hungry than I actually felt.

We went into the kitchen. Bella set the pot over the stove and turned the burner on low. I stood by the threshold, leaning against the wall and watching her, wondering what exactly she was doing here. When she turned around she was biting her lip furiously.

"So I guess you were right about all those germs the other night," I said, to break the silence.

She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. I wish I hadn't been."

"Yeah well, you tried to warn me, didn't you?"

She blushed and looked down, playing with her hands.

"Listen Bella-"

"Edward I-"

I put my hand out, indicating she should go first.

"I just wanted to…" – she hesitated – "I wanted to…" – she took a deep breath – "I wanted to tell you that we missed you last night at movie night." Something about her expression made me think that hadn't actually been what she'd meant to say. "Corey's songs about Joe just weren't the same without you there," she said in a teasing voice.

"You watched 'Say Anything?'" I pursed my lips. "That would've been cool to see."

She smiled sheepishly and reached slowly into the bag hanging on her shoulder, producing a movie case. When I saw the name of the movie, I couldn't help smiling.

"I was hoping you'd say that," she grinned.

"Don't you have to work tonight?" Again, the question had sounded ruder than I'd meant it to. The still-bitter part of me wondered how she'd describe _this_ scene to Mike. _My buddy Edward was sick, so I brought him some soup and a movie_. I snorted to myself. Yeah, that sounded just about right.

She turned around again, uncovering the pot and stirring the soup with a silver ladle while she answered me.

"I had a few things to do tonight, so I traded off with Bree, the other bartender. Rose said it was okay. But if you're not…up to watching it now, I can just leave it here for you and you can watch it" – she shrugged – "later."

I didn't answer, and she didn't say anything else, but something was pulling at the edges of my mind; a feeling that I was missing something; that Bella's words meant something.

Alice's command from a few hours ago abruptly rang in my head.

'_Open your eyes!'_

I shook my head quickly to clear it. My brain rattled against my skull and I brought a hand up to my forehead.

Bella frowned again, and the concern etched across her face irritated me more.

"I'm going to go take a quick shower," I said, turning away to hide the bit of resentment I couldn't shake.

"Okay," she called out. "But don't take too long or your soup'll get cold."

"Yeah, fine," I muttered, making my way to the bathroom.

I felt slightly better when I walked back into the kitchen a few minutes later dressed in a clean t-shirt and shorts, and my hair tamed as much as possible. Bella gave me a once over and smiled, ladling some soup into a bowl.

"You look much more…refreshed," she said with a smirk, "_and_ you're just in time."

I wasn't sure if it was the shower, or the smell of the soup, or just her warm presence in my kitchen, in my apartment, but it was getting so hard to stay upset at her.

Still, I tried. I sat at the table stoically while she brought the soup over; steam swirling and billowing into the air. But the smell of well-seasoned chicken and vegetables was making my mouth water. I swallowed back my saliva covertly.

"Eat it while it's still hot," she ordered, placing the bowl in front of me and taking a seat on the opposite side of the table.

I won't lie. I dug into that shit like a man that hadn't seen food in eons. The first bite burned my tongue, but it had been days since I'd had a real meal. It was gone in three minutes flat. When I looked up, Bella was watching me, a pleased expression on her face.

"More?"

"Please?" I grinned, handing over my bowl.

She smiled widely and went to serve me another bowlful, still steaming hot. But she'd been right. The steam from the soup opened up my airways, and the soup itself warmed my stomach. And slowly melted away my irritation.

We talked about safe, mundane subjects while I ate my second bowl of soup. She told me about another one of her part-time jobs while she'd been living in New York. She'd worked as a waitress in a Latin restaurant, and the chef had taught her how to prepare a few dishes, the chicken soup I was currently eating being one of them. I told her about the movies I'd watched on TV over the past couple of days. We circled around stupid, meaningless subjects; avoiding the other night like the black plague.

Bella's eyes periodically roamed around the living room just beyond the kitchen, and then halfway through one of her sentences she stood up and marched to the living room.

"Alright, I can't take it. I've got to clean up."

"Leave it please," I said through a mouthful of chicken. "I'll take care of it when I'm done."

"Just eat your soup Edward. I grew up with a single dad. I'm used to cleaning up." She looked up and flashed me another huge smile, and just like that, the anger and resentment I'd surrounded myself with for the past couple of days was close to being a distant memory.

Bella moved around the living room quickly, straightening pictures on the walls. Then she asked where the broom was and cleaned up the broken lamp.

"There's really not much that can be done for this," she said with a shake of her head, staring down at the three-legged coffee table.

I chuckled and served myself another bowl of soup. When I turned back around, Bella was picking up the clothes thrown all over the floor.

"Bella, please," I moaned, "just leave it."

"I'm done, I'm done," she called out, picking up a shirt from the sofa. She turned back to me. "Do you have a wash closet or something?"

I sighed. "First door on your left."

She grinned again, like a little girl who'd just been told her Christmas present was in the closet.

"I'll just put these things in the wash," she called out once she'd found the washroom.

I shook my head and gave up. Then I snorted, because this was just so goddamned ridiculous. Bella was in my wash room, doing my laundry.

'_Mikey sweetie, I did Edward's laundry today.'_

'_Really? Cool! Did you have a good time?'_

'_Yeah! It was great!'_

'_I'm glad to hear it. Because, you know, I'm so secure in your love for me that it doesn't faze me to know you had another guys clothes in your hands!'_

"So did you enjoy the soup?" Bella called out, breaking me out of my thoughts. I stood up and walked to the sink to wash my bowl and spoon.

"It was seriously the best chicken soup I've had in my life," I said honestly.

She laughed. "Maria will be happy to hear that next time I speak to her."

"Well you can tell Maria she can give Nyquil a run for their money, because I ACTUALLY feel marginally better."

Bella laughed. I could hear her opening the small cabinet over the washer, looking for detergent.

It suddenly hit me, what a dumb-ass I'd been acting like.

I _had_ been pissed at Bella. Like, royally pissed. Yeah, I was sick, but I'd used that as a convenient excuse for not showing up at her and Alice's last night for the movie. I'd been feeling angry and resentful and betrayed. But having her here now, with me, I felt like such an asshole. Why _had_ I been angry? Because she'd made good on the fiancée she'd let me know she had since day one? Because apparently there were genuine feelings there between her and the man she'd already told me she was going to marry? Because she kept proving to me over and over again that she wanted me as a friend? Because I was so goddamned crazy for her I couldn't even fuck anyone else? Could I honestly hold any of that against her? In a perfect world, Bella would always be here to take care of me when I was sick. She'd try every single one of her goddamned recipes out on me and me alone.

But it wasn't a perfect world. What I had was this. Her _friendship. _And that was so much more than what I'd had just a few weeks ago. Yet even as I tried to convince myself that that was enough, an image of Bella and Mike sitting together at the restaurant the other night assaulted me, making me cringe over the sink.

I dried my hands on the ends of my t-shirt. "Bella, are you ready for the movie?" I called out, trying to distract myself from my thoughts. She didn't answer. "Bella?" I called out again. No answer. Frowning, I walked slowly towards the wash closet.

Bella was standing in front of the washing machine, her eyes closed and her head down; shoulders rigid and hands pressed up against the vibrating washer, as if she were using it to hold herself up.

"Bella?"

She startled when she heard me, backing away from the washing machine as if it had burned her. Her eyes were full of pain, as if something had indeed hurt her.

"Are you okay?" I coughed out.

"I'm fine," she responded quickly, and then all expression leached out of her eyes. She smiled, but it didn't seem quite right, and I was suddenly reminded of her smiles the other night at the restaurant.

She rang her hands nervously in front of her. "I…I put in a load of wash."

"Thanks," I murmured, "but you really didn't have to do that."

She smiled again, but there was no expression behind it. "Uhm…" Her eyes flashed quickly to the bamboo hamper standing against the side of the closet, and her cheeks burned red. "There were a few…" – she swallowed thickly – "items I didn't know what to do with."

I furrowed my brows. "What items?"

It came to me just as the words left my mouth.

The clothes thrown around the floor. Clothes I hadn't touched in days. Vicki had been up here with me that night. At least for a short while. But it had been long enough for me to tear her underwear off, to fling her bra to the floor, where my own torn shirt had landed over it. And when she'd left in a blind fury she'd wrapped her dress and coat around herself, never bothering to reclaim her underwear.

Fuck.

"The…bottoms are kind of ripped, but she might want them back, so I just put them in your hamper. And your shirt's in there too. Maybe you can have the dry cleaners fix some new buttons on it."

All the blood drained from my face, yet all I could do was stand there and stare at her. Finally I turned away and walked back to the living room, my pulse racing.

After a few minutes, Bella walked back into the living room with big, purposeful strides.

"Ready for the movie?" she asked, her eyes focused intently on the shiny round disc as she pulled it out of its case.

And suddenly all my previous irritation returned full force. I mean, why the fuck was I sitting here feeling like an asshole, like I'd done something wrong? I couldn't even fuck Vicki when she'd offered it to me on a goddamned silver platter for the love of all that's holy! Meanwhile, where had Bella been the other night while I'd been destroying my apartment and then drinking myself into a stupor? At the goddamned Hilton, that's where. At the Hilton with her goddamned fiancée wearing her goddamned ring and I'd venture to say not much else.

Fuck this.

"Yeah, I'm ready," I said through clenched teeth.

She walked over to the DVD player and shoved the movie in with a little more force than absolutely necessary. She then deposited herself heavily over the opposite end of the sofa.

My chest heaved, my breaths abruptly heavy and uneven.

"So," I began, tight-lipped, "that was an interesting time we had the other night."

My eyes remained trained on the TV, where previews for other nineteen-eighties movies lit up the screen. But out of my periphery, I thought I saw Bella stiffen over on her end of the sofa.

"Yeah," she answered stiffly, her own eyes stuck to the screen. "Mike said he really enjoyed seeing you."

"Did he?" I snorted.

She didn't answer for a few seconds.

"I know you were expecting something else," she finally said, "but I told you, he's changed."

I rolled my eyes. "Haven't we all."

"I guess we have," she answered quietly.

For some reason, her answer pissed me off even more.

"Yeah well," I said, "Mike looked kind of…confused when he saw me too. Like he wasn't expecting what he saw. I'm surprised, since apparently you've got him filled in on all the four-one-one that happens around here."

She glared at me through narrowed eyes. I narrowed mine in return.

"Didn't you tell him?" I asked. "I mean, you obviously told him everything else."

"Tell him what?" she spat, her arms crossed tightly in front of her. "What did I apparently neglect to tell him? That you are possibly the best looking guy this side of the Pacific? What would've been the point in telling him that?"

I leaned over on one arm and grinned. "Well you know what they say. Honesty is the best policy."

She glowered and leaned closer to me. "I _am_ honest," she said through gritted teeth. "That's why I tell Mike when I'm with you. I don't lie," she said in a shaky voice.

"Don't you?"

Her eyes burned. "How about you? Are you going to tell Victoria who made you the chicken soup you just devoured? Or who cleaned up your apartment? Or who threw her fucking ripped up panties in the laundry?"

"I broke it off with Victoria."

She gasped, her brown eyes growing wide, and reeled back.

"Why?" she whispered.

I stared into her eyes.

She stood up quickly, picking up her bag and heading for the door. I got up and grabbed her arm. She wheeled around.

"Why are you here Bella?" I demanded.

"I told you," she said roughly, "I made some chicken soup-"

'_Open your eyes Edward!'_

"Why are you really here?"

"Because Alice said you weren't feeling well-"

"Why are you here?" I repeated, my voice growing louder. She tried to pull away from me but I held on to her firmly.

"I don't know," she answered, her voice barely a whisper.

'_You have to fight…I'm lost too…'_

My eyes widened, my breathing loud and pronounced in the suddenly silent room.

"Why are you here Bella?" I whispered.

"Because. I. Don't. Know!" she yelled.

Silence.

"I told Mike that you and I were friends. I told him we hung out, and we played pool. I told him we spent the day at the Market." She looked up at me, her chocolate eyes dark and confused. "But…but I couldn't tell him how I _feel_…when I'm with you."

My heart beat so hard against my ribs it felt as if it would rip a whole through my chest. For a long time, we just gazed at one another. Slowly, I lifted my other hand up and moved it towards Bella's face. Her eyes took me in with the unsure expression of a deer in headlights; one false move and she'd bolt. Her chest heaved up and down with her breaths. As if in slow motion, I brought the tips of my fingers to her cheek.

Her eyes closed at my touch. A thousand sparks exploded in my hand.

"Bella…"

I stroked her cheek gently, and she pressed her face deeper into my fingers. If time stood still forever, I would be a happy man. I felt like a blind man who'd suddenly been given his sight, though somewhat still blurry, but with the promise of having it fully restored if he just proceeded carefully.

Bella's eyes opened suddenly, and a look of horror crossed her features.

"I've gotta go," she murmured shakily, turning away from me again. I held on to her arm.

"Bella," I whispered intently. Slowly, she looked back at me, her eyes glistening.

"Stay with me."

'_Stay with me Bella.'_

"Edward, I-"

"Just for the movie," I said quickly, cupping her face in my hand. "Just sit and watch the movie with me. We don't have to…talk or…anything."

She gnawed at her lip viciously, and then slowly nodded. We sat down carefully again, both of us in our respective corners.

But everything had changed now. The magnetic pull I'd always felt to her had grown exponentially in the last ten minutes, and it was all I could do to stay in my corner. I tried to focus on the movie, to relegate the thousands of questions plaguing my mind to later, but my mind was in turmoil.

'_How I feel when I'm with you…how I feel when I'm with you…how I feel when I'm with you…'_

_Jesus, _had she really said that? What did it mean exactly? _How_ did she feel, and could it possibly be _anything_ close to what I felt?

"Would you like me to make you some tea? Or pass you some Tylenol or something?" Bella suddenly asked. When I turned to look at her, she was watching me; worry lines etched on her forehead. I realized I'd been coughing again.

I smiled tenderly at her. "No. But thanks."

She nodded, biting her lip, and turned to the movie again.

Did she really have no idea how she'd just turned my world upside down?

But what had really changed? The damn ring was still on her finger. A confession that she felt something was miles away from meaning she felt enough to change that.

We watched the movie in silence. And eventually one of us pointed something out about the movie, and conversation resumed. Then John Cusack stood on top of his car, boom box in hand, and Peter Gabriel started streaming through his speakers. And just like that, the magnetic pull multiplied again.

'…_all my instincts they return. And the grand façade so soon will burn.  
><em>_Without a noise, without my pride, I reach out from the inside.  
><em>_In your eyes. The light, the heat. Your eyes. I am complete.  
><em>_Your eyes. I see the doorway to a thousand churches.  
><em>_Your eyes. The resolution of all my fruitless searches.  
><em>_Oh I see the light and the heat. Oh, I wanna be that complete.  
><em>_I want to touch the light and heat I see in your eyes.'_

Our eyes found each other again, the magnetic pull bringing us closer together.

The song ended and Bella blinked. She stood up and walked to the window. I followed her with my eyes. She looked away from the window and then she was walking towards the other end of the room, and picking up the guitar I'd left resting in a corner the other day.

"I've…been playing again lately," I admitted.

She grinned widely and came to sit next to me again, resting the guitar on her lap.

"I…wrote a new song."

"Can I hear it?" she whispered.

I took the guitar from her gently, never breaking our gaze.

_At some point in time, she left the little girl behind  
>And she's become a woman now<br>She up and left her little hometown, yeah now she's making it work over by the Sound  
><em>'_cause she's a woman now_

_Yeah, I see it in her eyes  
>I see it in the way her fingers fly<br>No longer finger paints on paper  
>She's got the world as her canvas<br>_'_Cause baby she's a beautiful woman now_

_And I watch her and I hope and pray  
>And I wonder if I'm not too late<br>_'_Cause baby you're a woman now_

When the last note died away, Bella looked away and stood up, her hand quickly wiping under one eye.

"That was beautiful Edward," she murmured. When she looked back at me, there was something familiar about her expression. I could've sworn she was going to ask me something, but she pressed her lips together and said nothing.

"I promised once I'd teach you to play," I said quietly.

She chuckled. "That was a long time ago."

"I'd still like to keep that promise."

She met my eyes, tilting her head to the side, studying me. Hesitantly, she came and sat next to me, no longer on the other side of the sofa.

"I know nothing about music," she warned me, just as she had six and a half years ago, and then chuckled nervously. "I have no idea where to begin."

I reached out and took her hand gently, hearing her quiet intake of breath, and then slowly guided her to turn around. Once she was seated with her back to me, I lifted the guitar over her head and placed it on her lap, my arms wrapped loosely around her. With my face inches from hers, I turned to her. Our eyes met.

"Let's start at the beginning."

A couple of hours later, I let go of Bella's hands and dropped mine to my sides.

"Okay, try it on your own now."

She took a deep breath, placed her fingers on the strings and strummed what she'd learned. When she was done I lifted my arms around her and clapped.

"Billy Joe Armstrong would be proud."

She nudged me in the ribs with her elbow. "Yeah right."

I chuckled. "Now you know how to play a bit of one of your favorites. And tomorrow we'll learn-"

"I can't tomorrow." She lowered the guitar to the floor and looked straight ahead. "I'm going to see my dad tomorrow morning, and won't be back 'til late."

I nodded and carefully lifted my hands to her arms. She stiffened for a split-second, and then exhaled heavily, looking back down. We sat there in silence for what felt like forever and not long enough.

"I'd…like to show you…something…in Forks." Bella turned her face to the side. I felt her warm breath wash over where my hand rested on her arm. "Do you think you can come with me?"

I ran my hands gently up and down her arms.

"Of course."

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><p><strong>AN: What's your favorite acoustic piece?**

**The song Edward was teaching Bella to play? The first notes to 'Wake Me Up When September Ends,' by Green Day, Bella's favorites song. :D**

**I appreciate how many of you have this story on your Favorites list and Story Alert. How 'bout leaving a review too?**


	14. Chapter 13 Stand by Me

**A/N: Not feeling too well, but I wanted to get this out. Please excuse if it's below par. My beta is in the middle of moving to another state, and like I said, I'm not feeling too great. But there will be another update this week to answer questions this chapter brings up. Go figure.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13 – Stand By Me<strong>

We left for Forks bright and early the following day. I picked Bella up in front of her loft building; the dark clouds of daybreak were just giving way to a dull sun and light precipitation over the grey streets of Seattle. She was standing under the awning in pretty pink sweats with her hood pulled over her head, and while I held the door open for her I noticed the word 'PINK' spelled out on the rear of her pants. As I walked back to the driver's side I had to remind myself to breathe.

Originally, Bella had wanted to drive; she'd offered to pick me up in her red '76 Chevy, but when she told me its age, I insisted we take my Audi instead. I thought it would be a good idea to actually get there today. She didn't appreciate my sense of humor at her truck's expense.

As we boarded the ferry crossing to Bainbridge Island, which would put us on the One-oh-One to Forks, the skies opened up completely and blanketed the windshield with buckets of rain.

"Wow, so beautiful," Bella said, staring wide-eyed at the way the rain fell heavily over the thick glass, blurring the world outside into circus mirror versions of their true selves. The ferry swayed from side to side as the waters of the Puget spilled over onto the surface.

I snorted. "Beautiful?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "Look at all the colors!"

I stared out the window. "Are we looking at the same thing? Because all I see are various shades of grey."

She pursed her lips in mock disapproval. "Even shades of grey are beautiful. I mean, look at the way the clouds change color as your eyes travel down the horizon, and the way you can almost feel the sun fighting its way through, turning those clouds down there," – she pointed out the window – "a more gold tinted kind of grey. And the way the rain falls over the dark grey water, splattering and making almost white waves across the Sound."

I must've looked so stupid, the way I stared at her, because she looked at me and the wonder on her face turned into a frown.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" she asked, a clearly concerned expression across her features.

"Bella, I'm fine," I assured her. "Trust me, if I wasn't I'd let you drive. I'm just…amazed by how you see things, with such an artist's eye."

She snorted and looked away, staring out the window again. "Oh yeah," she said sarcastically, "what an artist I am. I can't even get a day job."

"You'll find something," I assured her. "Just give it some more time,"

"Yeah, time," she murmured. She turned back to me with a smile. "So I'm glad you're feeling better."

I really _was_ feeling much better. My body felt stronger, and the coughs were fewer and further between.

"I just hope _you_ don't come down with anything now," I said, feeling slightly guilty that I'd allowed myself to get so close to her yesterday. Just slightly guilty though, if I had to be honest. Because having her between my arms, even if it was just while teaching her to play guitar, was the warmest feeling ever.

"You weren't that bad," she said, dismissing my guilt with a wave of her hand. "At least you weren't cranky or anything." She rolled her eyes mockingly.

"Hey, hey, hey," I frowned. "Let's see how you act next time you're at death's door."

She raised her brows and favored me with a look that said 'Really?'

I chuckled. Since I'd picked Bella up early this morning, we'd kept our conversations light and comfortable. Although I was dying to delve more deeply into the subject we'd touched on yesterday – how she felt when she was with me - I could tell she wasn't ready to go into that just yet. Still, after she'd left, I'd spent half the night trying to figure out what that could possibly mean.

'…_how I feel when I'm with you…how I feel when I'm with you…how I feel…'_

The words had circled around and around in my head for hours. My heart had raced in my chest as I lay in my bed last night even considering the possibility that, Jesus, she was feeling for me anything close to what I felt for her. And if she was, what was I supposed to do here? Allow us both to repress our feelings because of a fucking ring on her finger?

"Death's door?" Bella chuckled, pulling me out of my thoughts. "I swear you men all get so grouchy when you're sick."

I stared at her evenly. It irked me more than a little that she was comparing me to someone else, especially when I could imagine who the other man I was being compared to was.

"My _father_," she said clearly, as if she could read my mind "hates being sick. He was the police chief of Forks for almost twenty years, yet whenever he's…not feeling well he gets all cranky and defensive. Doesn't like anyone helping him out either." She smiled and stared out the windshield, a strange expression on her face.

"That's just crazy," I said. "Who could ever turn down a nurse like you? Matter of fact, I'm seriously thinking of running out into this storm and seeing if I can catch pneumonia or something just to get you to make me some of that soup again." I grinned crookedly.

She laughed. "First of all, you don't have to make yourself sick for more soup. I'll make it for you again whenever you want. Second, it's really not worth you getting pneumonia for."

_Whenever I want. _Was it really as simple as that?

"Trust me," I grinned at her, "it is."

She shook her head. "So how often do you go home Edward?"

I stared up at the car roof as I calculated my answer. "I went home for Thanksgiving."

"That was almost eleven months ago!"

"I guess."

She frowned. "Why so long?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Other than my parents, there's really nothing for me to go back to Forks for."

"So you haven't seen your parents since Thanksgiving?"

"My mom was down a few months ago, April maybe?" I shrugged again.

She stared at me.

"What?"

"It's just that…when I was going to school in New York, I didn't see Charlie more than a couple of times a year. I wish I would've made more time for him."

"Well you're here now, right? And you go see him pretty regularly."

"Every couple of weeks at least," she confirmed. "I wish I could go more. And if I ever get a day job it might be even less."

"How come?" I asked.

"Well between working at Nitelock and whatever day job I get, I won't have much time."

I frowned. "You plan on staying at Nitelock when you get a day job?"

She bit her lip and faced the windshield again, nodding slowly.

"Why would you want to manage two jobs?"

She grinned. "Because I'm a money hungry miser. Did I neglect to mention that?"

I studied her carefully. She was grinning, but there was something else behind her dark eyes. "Yeah, actually, you did. So what else have you neglected to mention?"

"Let's see. I stuck a dead body in your trunk when you weren't looking." She nudged with her elbow conspiratorially.

"Anyone I know?"

"No," she chuckled.

"Then that's fine," I said. She laughed. "Seriously Bella, how are you going to manage two jobs?"

She shrugged and suddenly took on a more serious expression. "People work two jobs all the time. It's no big deal," she said quietly.

Something about the way she said it made me think that it was a big deal, but I decided not to push her. At least not now.

The horn announcing our arrival on Bainbridge Island sounded, and I turned the car back on to make our way off of the ferry. The monsoon continued all the way to the one-oh-one, and pretty soon we were driving down the winding piece of road that would take us into Forks. The windshield wipers swooshed back and forth at double-speed to keep up with the buckets of water raining down from the almost-black skies.

"Not the best weather for a road-trip today."

"Are you kidding?" Bella laughed, playing with the radio. "This is the best weather for a road-trip, especially a trip back to Forks. The weather is only fitting."

"I suppose you're right about that," I said with a sideways smirk.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see her studying me.

"Do you really not miss Forks at all?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't necessarily bring back the best of memories."

"I'm sure you had good times too Edward. With your family, your brother."

And every single moment I'd spent with her.

"You're right I guess."

"I wish…I wish you and I would've hung out more back in high school, you know, after school and…weekends."

My heart clenched painfully. Would having more time with her then really have been as simple as that? Had I really missed out because of nothing more than sheer stupidity?

"Bella, do you think if we would've just met a few weeks ago, instead of years ago, we would've still become friends?"

Her answer was immediate. "Of course. Why wouldn't we?"

I shrugged. "I've heard people say" - I gave her a sidelong smirk - "that I can be a bit of an asshole."

She studied me carefully. "You are…exactly the same person you were when I first met you."

"I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult," I joked.

"Definitely a compliment," she chuckled.

I studied the windshield for a few seconds. "I wonder if the Bella who lived in New York would feel the same."

"Why wouldn't she?"

I spoke slowly. "I'm not sure…she's the same person that's seated next to me right now."

She didn't answer right away.

"I can't imagine a world where you and I wouldn't have been friends." She suddenly sounded much more intense. "Edward, things got kind of…complicated while I was in New York." She glanced at me sheepishly. "I know I acted…different the other night Edward but...my life in New York is very different from my life here. It's not bad," she clarified quickly, "just…different." She looked down at her lap.

"Is it what you expected?" I asked gently.

She looked up at me and smiled wryly. "Is it ever what any of us expect?"

I didn't answer.

"But to answer your other question," she said after a few moments, "the Bella in New York would've definitely felt the same. Sometimes I feel like you and I…our…friendship," – she paused – "I mean what were the chances you and I would bump into each other again? Our friendship was meant to be Edward, don't you think? Why else would it be so easy to be with you…to talk to you?"

_Maybe because we were meant to be more than just friends. _The thought took me by surprise. I gripped the steering wheel harder.

"You don't seem to be having too easy a time talking to me right now."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her staring at me.

"Don't think it's because I don't want to."

"What does that mean Bella?"

She didn't answer. I sighed and turned the volume on the radio higher. She didn't say anything for a long while, and then she started humming to the songs on the stereo, and eventually humming turned to singing, and pretty soon we were belting out tune after tune. In the middle of one song, she stopped and reached out, turning the volume down low. I could feel her eyes on me again.

"Why'd you put that down?" I asked.

"Because it's drowning out your voice."

I smirked and reached out to put the volume back up, and she reached out at the same time. My hand landed on top of hers, and the familiar current coursed through my hand, only this time I was sure she felt it too, because she gasped and then exhaled slowly. Neither one of us moved our hands. Slowly, I rubbed my thumb in circles over her hand. It felt so soft and warm and _just right_, as if her hand had been made specifically to fit within mine.

I kept my eyes on the road, but out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella staring at our hands. After a few moments, she pulled it away and rested it on her lap. It was unbelievable how cold my hand suddenly felt.

"Why'd you stop singing?" she asked after a few seconds. I turned away from the road long enough to look at her. She was watching me with a mischievous smile.

"Because now you've made me self-conscious," I said dryly, lightening the mood again. "There's no way I can sing now when I know you're going to be listening so intently."

She laughed. "Come on Edward!" I smiled but remained quiet. She bounced up and down in her seat, crossing her arms in feigned annoyance. "Well I feel sorry for you if having just me as your audience makes you self-conscious. What are you going to do when you have everyone at Nitelock watching you during the next Open Mike night?"

I glanced at her quickly. She was watching me with a smart grin.

"I won't do anything, since I won't be performing."

"Come on Edward!" She bounced up and down harder.

I chuckled. "Just out of curiosity, what exactly would you want me to sing up there?"

"A Green Day song or two wouldn't hurt. And then maybe-" –she seemed to change her mind – "I don't know, whatever you wanted."

I chuckled again and shook my head.

"I'm going to get you up on that stage if it's the last thing I do."

"We'll see about that," I laughed.

She scowled. "Yes, we will."

When the rain finally slowed to an even drizzle rather than a downpour, Bella lowered her window a quarter of the way and lifted her nose to the open space.

She inhaled deeply. "Mmm, smell that. Don't you smell it?"

"Smell what?" I asked.

"The fresh mountain air mixing with the damp trees and leaves and moss. Don't you love that smell?"

I smiled at how excited she sounded. "I honestly never thought of it much."

She looked at me and snorted. "Trust me, you would've if you'd been surrounded by a concrete jungle for four years. Don't get me wrong, New York City is beautiful, but…there's nothing like coming home."

"You miss home, don't you?"

"Sometimes…sometimes you can't fully appreciate something you took for granted until you just _can't_ take it for granted anymore." She turned her eyes to me. "Do you know what I mean?"

I took my eyes off the road long enough to meet her eyes. "I know exactly what you mean."

The sign announcing our arrival to the small town of Forks welcomed us home, and Bella lowered her window all the way and 'woohooed' out the window. I laughed at her enthusiasm.

"What time do you need to be back tonight?" I asked as I navigated the car through the small town center that passed for Forks' main street.

"Rose said I can come in at ten tonight. How about you?"

"Whenever I get back is fine," I said, scowling at a logging truck blocking traffic in front of me.

"Oh that's right," Bella said with a sidelong grin. "You're the boss."

"Yeah," I grinned back. "And anyway, Emmett and Vicki can handle it without me."

"Oh," she said quietly. The logging truck finally moved and I drove down the familiar streets, until I was a couple of minutes from the part of town Bella and I had grown up in.

"Hey Bella," I said carefully. She'd been particularly quiet since we'd left the town's main street, "would you mind if we stopped by my parent's place first? My dad's probably at the hospital, but my mom might be home, and I'm pretty sure she'd like to say hi to you."

"Sure," she said easily.

My mom answered the door quickly when I rang the doorbell, and her eyes bulged open when she saw me.

"Edward?"

"Hey mom," I said sheepishly, suddenly ashamed it'd been so long since I'd visited.

My mom pulled me into a huge, tight hug. "Oh my God honey, I wish you would've told me you were coming! I would've had a nice brunch waiting for you!"

"Mom, I'm fine," I assured her with a chuckle. I turned to Bella, who'd been standing quietly next to me.

"Uhm mom, you remember Bella Swan, don't you?"

My mom let go of me and turned to Bella. Her eyes lit up with recognition.

"Bella! Of course I remember you honey! How have you been?" She pulled Bella into a hug and Bella gave a nervous chuckle.

"I've been good Mrs. Cullen, thanks for asking," she said.

"Well now I _have_ to make a nice brunch for us!" my mom exclaimed. Even I couldn't miss how excited she was. "Come in, come in!"

Bella turned her eyes to me.

"Mom, actually Bella's on her way to see her dad. I just asked her to stop by to say hi."

"I would love to come in Mrs. Cullen," Bella said in an apologetic tone, "but my dad's expecting me, and if I'm late he starts to worry."

"Oh I understand honey," my mom said, holding Bella's hand in hers. In the blink of an eye, as her thumb scraped across Bella's ring while she spoke to her, my mother's eyes quickly flashed to mine with a silent question, but the blank stare I gave her in return answered it for her. It all happened so quickly I was sure Bella missed it.

"How is your dad doing Bella?" The concern in my mom's voice made me frown.

"He's alright, Mrs. Cullen, thanks for asking."

"I'm glad to hear it. Well you let him know we're all-"

"Mrs. Cullen, do you mind if I use your restroom?" Bella asked. "It's a long drive from Seattle and your son wouldn't let us stop."

"Hey, hey, hey, I offered you that one rest stop."

"Yeah, at a place that looked like they'd be serving road-kill if it were entirely legal."

I laughed. When I looked at my mom, she was watching me carefully.

"Sure Bella honey. It's the first door on your right," she pointed out for her.

"Thanks! I'll be right back," she told me.

Once she'd closed the bathroom door, my mother turned her openly curious green eyes to me.

She crossed her arms in front of her. "So?"

"So."

"Bella Swan?"

"Yeah."

"Bella Swan?" she repeated.

"I'm pretty sure that's who she is."

"Why haven't I heard…"

I shrugged. "She recently moved to Seattle. We bumped into each other. And here we are."

"Here you are," she repeated. She studied me carefully. "The ring on her finger-"

"Isn't from me."

"I gathered that."

We stared at each other.

Esme exhaled slowly. "Bella Swan," she said again, as if she couldn't believe it.

"You said that already mom."

Bella got out of the bathroom then.

"Are you ready?" I asked her.

"Edward, you don't have to drive me over," Bella said. "It's not a long walk from here."

"Bella, I'm not letting you walk," I said. "I'll drop you off, and then I'll come back here mom," I said, turning to my mom.

My mom's face glowed. "I'll be waiting for you honey. What time will you kids be heading back?"

Bella and I looked at each other.

"You need to be at work by ten, so maybe we should leave by-"

"Six?" both of us said together.

We chuckled again.

Bella smiled and nodded. "That sounds good."

When I looked at my mom her eyes were bouncing carefully from me to Bella and back again.

She clapped her hands once. "Well Bella, how about this. Do you think you can come back at about five?" my mom asked hopefully. "I'll make us a nice dinner and you guys can eat quickly before you have to get on the road again. I won't mind at all. And of course your dad's welcome too."

Bella smiled gratefully. "That's very kind of you Mrs. Cullen. Can I let you know in a little while?" she asked sheepishly. "Only because I'm not sure what my dad may have planned," she added quickly.

"Of course," my mom agreed gently. She walked over to Bella again, and gave her a tender squeeze on her arm.

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you again."

Bella blushed. Her eyes moved beyond my mom and found mine. I held her gaze before she abruptly looked away.

"It's great to see you again too Mrs. Cullen. And I'll call Edward later and let him know about dinner. But thank you for the invitation either way."

She stepped outside and I followed her. Before walking out, I turned back to my mom, who was standing by the door.

"I'll be back in a little while mom."

She nodded slowly. "I'll be waiting Edward. It seems you and I have…a lot to catch up on."

I smirked, shaking my head, and walked back to the car with Bella.

Bella was quiet on the way to her house. When we turned the corner on her block, she drew in a deep breath, exhaling it out slowly.

As I was parking the car in front of her house, her small warm hand suddenly landed on mine over the steering wheel. I looked up at her in surprise. Her eyes were dark and anxious.

"Edward, remember I said I had something I wanted to…show you?"

I nodded carefully.

Just then, her eyes went to her house and then widened in shock. Her mouth fell open, and without another word she bounded out of the car, running up her driveway.

I frowned and turned the ignition off. When I stepped out of the car, I could hear her voice, loud and upset, and a male voice answering back in the same agitated tone.

"…you thinking?" Bella said loudly. "Are you _trying_ to hurt yourself?"

As I neared the front of the house, I could see a tall ladder placed up against the side of the house, raised up to the very top, and a man's back to me as he worked at the top of the ladder, doing something to the shingled siding at the top of the house. The rain was falling only lightly now, but even light rain could make a metal ladder slippery.

"Get down from there right now dad!" Bella yelled, both anger and fear evident in her voice.

"I will not young lady!" her father yelled back. "These here shingles need to be replaced, and I'm not payin' an arm and a leg to get it done when I've got two perfectly capable hands myself!"

"Dad!" Bella cried out, her voice laced more with panic than anger now. "Please dad!"

"Bells!" her dad answered without turning away from his work. I could see him pulling out shingles and groaning lowly as he did. "I'm fine!" he yelled back.

I reached Bella where she stood next to the ladder. Her face turned up red as she glared at her father. When I looked down at the bottom of the ladder, I could see the way it sunk slightly into the mud.

Bella turned terrified eyes my way. "He shouldn't be up there Edward," she said in a shaky voice. And even though I had no idea what was so bad about a man changing the shingles on his roof himself if he so chose to, I nodded and looked up, grey raindrops falling lightly on my face.

I cleared my throat. "Chief Swan," I said, calling him by the name the whole town had always known him by, "do you mind if I take a look at what you're doing? My dad's been wanting to replace a few shingles on his own roof and I wanted to help him out, but I'm not sure how to do it."

Bella's dad paused in his work. Slowly he turned around and looked down.

I swallowed back my shock.

The last time I'd seen Chief Swan had been before my high school graduation. I'd gone into town to pass by the bank so I could close my account and withdraw my savings. Just as I'd been stepping out the door I'd looked up and bumped into the Chief of Police. I remembered feeling my pimply face flush, the heat traveling up to my scalp, because I was sure that as he looked at me, my never-ending crush on his daughter would be written plainly on my face, in between all the zits and red marks.

But the Chief had just stared at me - his serious face still young and strong, brown eyes exactly like his daughters, dark hair curly and full – and nodded in greeting.

"Edward," he'd said. As the son of the town's small hospital's chief of staff, the chief of police would be familiar with me.

"Chief Swan," I'd responded quietly.

"Good luck in college, young man," he'd said, his voice deep and strong. "Give it your best." It had been an order from the police chief, as much as a wish for better things than what I'd had here.

"Thank you sir," I'd responded, trying to straighten my shoulders as his were, to exude the quiet confidence and strength he had, hoping he'd go back to Bella and tell her he'd bumped into Edward Cullen and boy, did that kid look strong.

And without another word, Chief Swan had walked into the bank, and I'd walked out.

That was not the same man up on that ladder today.

The face of the man looking down at me was thin and gaunt, eyes dull and glassy. His scraggly beard covered half of his face. Even through the thin jacket he wore, it was obvious the limbs his clothing covered were much thinner than they'd been the last time I'd seen him.

Bella's father was sick.

And suddenly I understood why Bella was so terrified.

"You the Cullen kid?" he asked, tilting his head slightly to the side and studying me. "Edward?"

"Yes sir, that's me."

"What are you doing here?"

"I cam down from Seattle with Bella." I glanced over at her. She was biting her lip desperately. "I was just dropping her off and heading back to see my own parents." I swallowed thickly. "But would you mind if I just took a look there, see if I can figure out what I need to do back on my parent's roof."

He stared at me for more than a few seconds, the mustache over his lip twitching back and forth. Finally he turned and slowly started making his way down the ladder. When he was almost at the bottom, Bella started to say something to him; a disapproving frown weighing heavily on her forehead. Quickly I reached out and squeezed her hand. A signal. No man wants to be told what he can or can't do. Especially when it's physical. Bella's eyes quickly turned to me, and I gave her an almost imperceptible shake of the head. Her brown eyes sparkled in understanding and she nodded. I laced my fingers through hers, because engaged or not, she was shaking. She squeezed my hand tightly in hers.

She said nothing as he turned to face her.

"Bells hon, you made it."

She smiled at him and her face suddenly softened, and without letting go of my hand, she reached over and hugged him with her free arm. "Dad," she whispered. That one word was full of love, and frustration and fear.

Charlie Swan turned to me, but not before slowly trailing down to where Bella's hand and mine were connected. He glanced at Bella's other hand quickly.

"That the same ring from before?" he asked directly, looking at me.

"Yes dad," Bella answered quietly. "It's the same ring."

He stared at me long and hard. "Hmph," he snorted. "Edward Cullen."

"Yes sir." I paused. "How are you?"

"That there's the million dollar question kid, ain't it?"

He kept his eyes trained on me, studying me the way I could've sworn he studied me that day at the bank, his brown eyes so like his daughters boring into mine so deeply I felt like confessing every crime I'd ever committed. That was when I realized his eyes may have not been as rich as they'd once been, but there was no dimness behind them.

Then he broke out into laughter.

"My daughter tells me you helped her out over there in Seattle."

I shrugged. "I just introduced her to a friend of mine. She did the rest on her own."

He narrowed his eyes, staring at me unapologetically, reading me with his police chief vision.

"Well I'm glad to see there are still some people that'll help without expecting-"

"Dad," Bella said in a warning tone.

He pursed his lips without looking at her. His eyes continued to dig deep into me.

After a while he said, "So you say your dad needs to change a couple of shingles on his roof?"

"Yes sir."

"Funny," he said, frowning. "I just saw him a couple of days ago. He didn't mention anything about it to me."

I tried to think quickly. "He just realized it yesterday."

Charlie nodded slowly. "Well alright then. Why don't you and I go back up that ladder," he held up his tools, "and I can show you-"

"Actually," I cut him off, "I was watching what you were doing before from down here. Do you mind" – I let go of Bella's hand and reached out for his tools. He let them go warily. – "if I try the next few on my own? Just so I can really know what I'm doing when I go back to my parent's house," I finished quickly.

Charlie narrowed his eyes and smirked. Then he shrugged. "Who am I to deprive a young kid from learning how to do things on his own?" I grinned and moved to the ladder. "Just so we're clear though," he said just before I climbed the first rung. I turned back to face him, "you fall from that ladder I'm not responsible, but if you mess up my roof, you are."

I nodded my agreement. Before I climbed up, I stole one quick look at Bella. Her eyes said it all; they were bright and intense and glowed with gratitude.

'_Thank you,'_ they said silently.

'_Your welcome,_' I answered wordlessly.

And then I climbed up the ladder to fix Charlie Swan's roof.

From the bottom of the ladder, Charlie shouted out instructions and occasional lauds and criticisms, while I removed the last few shingles on his roof and replaced them with the new ones he'd laid in a pile up here. The rain had at least let up; a cool mist hung in the air but the raindrops had stopped falling. Every fifteen minutes or so, Bella would step out of the house and look up. And then I'd meet her eyes and grin, and we'd share a silent conversation, away from the sharp ears of her father, who never moved away from the bottom of the ladder.

'_Are you okay?'_

'_I'm fine.'_

'_Thank you Edward.'_

'_For you Bella, always for you.'_

After three such instances, Bella walked out with three covered bowls, and when I climbed down the ladder, I was greeted by a nice hot bowl of my favorite chicken soup in the world.

"Told you that you didn't have to catch pneumonia for me to make you more soup," she teased, sticking a spoonful of soup in her mouth while we sat under the swing on her small porch. With only a couple of shingles left to replace on the roof, Charlie had gone inside to catch the end of the game. Which was more than fine by me.

"Yeah, I only had to change my calling to roofing," I joked, inhaling my soup.

She shook her head. "I'm so s-"

"Stop," I said intently. "I was just joking. Besides, it's always good to learn a new trade," I added with a crooked grin. "Eclipse's success can't last forever."

She smiled carefully.

"Mariners are up four to two," Charlie called out, walking back out. "Come on Edward. Let's see if we can get finished before the bottom of the ninth."

I turned to Bella. "Gotta go," I whispered, "My foreman's calling."

She chuckled. I handed her my bowl and got up.

Half an hour later, once the roof project was complete, Bella and I stood outside on the porch. Charlie had given me a crooked smirk and a muttered thanks before rushing back inside to finish watching the game. I watched him go, his face paler than his daughters, without the creaminess in her cheeks.

Bella looked up at the roof.

"Not bad at all," she complimented with a smile.

"Especially for someone who'd never replaced roof shingles in his life," I added, looking up with her. We both chuckled. Our eyes came down from the roof and met.

Whatever was going on with Bella's dad was no one's business but Bella's and her dad's. Except I couldn't fight the feeling that I'd just earned the right to know. I wanted answers, especially since I got the feeling it would lead to answers about more than just Charlie's health.

"Bella-"

She quickly put her hand on my arm. "Wait," she murmured, before opening the door to her house and sticking her head inside.

"Dad, I'll be back in a few. You just sit tight and finish watching your game. Don't do anything you shouldn't!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure!" I heard Charlie call back. "I'll just sit here and be useless."

She rolled her eyes and sighed, closing the door behind her. With her free hand she picked up a blanket lying on the back of the porch swing, and then slowly trailed her hand down my arm, stopping at my wrist. She carefully wrapped her arm around it and breathed in deeply before trailing her eyes back to mine.

"Take a walk with me?"

I nodded.

We walked down a trail we picked up behind her house, Bella's hand still wrapped around my wrist, guiding me, as if I wouldn't follow wherever she led. The woods were silent and dark, even though it was barely past one in the afternoon. Neither one of us said a word as we made our way over the wet leaves and bracken on the muddy ground; an unspoken agreement that we'd wait until we arrived for any questions and answers. The trees above created a canopy, covering us from both the grey sky and the sun, which periodically fought its way from behind the clouds, sending the thinnest slivers of rays slinking to the ground and giving us just enough light to walk by. The only sounds were those of our feet against the crackling leaves and broken branches, unseen woodland animals ooing and aahing around us.

A million questions ran around my head, circling around like the blackbirds circling high above the trees, and at some point Bella's hand had wandered into my own; our fingers laced around each other's the way my heart laced around hers; protectively, possessively. Hand in hand we walked on. And I waited. Fifteen minutes into our walk, we wandered through a row of tall bushes, its green leaves spotted with drops of moisture, sticking to our sweatshirts as we moved through them shaking their thin branches, and when we emerged on the other side, it was as if we'd wandered into a different forest, a different dimension. We stopped, hand in hand, and in front of us lay the most beautiful meadow I'd ever set eyes on.

**A/N: Another update later on this week. Reviews are greatly appreciated, as always, and would probably make me feel better. :)**


	15. Chapter 14 Crazy For You

**A/N: Awww! Thanks for all the well wishes I got from you guys! It really did help!**

**Like I said last chapter, my beta is in the middle of a state-to-state move, so this chappy is also un-betad. Sorry for any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

**Chapter 14 – Crazy For You**

**Chapter Song Rec: _Somewhere Only We Know_ by Keane (Beautiful song and very fitting here. Listen to it.)**

* * *

><p>Bella's meadow was an almost perfectly round piece of Eden in the middle of a dark, wooded forest. The grass here grew rich and green, majestic evergreens marked each corner, standing as sentries guarding the meadow from unwanted visitors. The center of the meadow was scattered with the bluest wildflowers you'd ever seen, and violet wildflowers grew tall and proud along the edges, in a perfect arch. As we made our way to the center, the clouds above parted, and the rare Olympic sun shone brightly over the entire area, the evergreens casting tall shadows, like columns along a castle. It looked just like the painting she'd done of it, hanging on a wall back at her loft.<p>

I looked around in amazement, and when I looked at Bella, she was watching me expectantly.

"Do you like it?"

"It's indescribable."

She chuckled and pulled me by my hand, disentangling her fingers from mine to lay the blanket down. She sat cross-legged on the blanket, and I sat in front of her in the same way, letting the sun's rays warm us.

Bella's soft voice brought my eyes back to her.

"A few years ago," – she said reflectively – "not long after I moved to Forks, I was alone in the house one day and bored. My dad had gone fishing for the day, and I'd bowed out," she mused with a smile. "So I took a book and a blanket to the backyard. It was a day a lot like today, with the sun playing hide and seek in the sky, but a few pages into the book I grew restless and decided to go exploring," she smiled mischievously. "So I wandered into the woods and after a lot of walking and twists and turns, I came upon this meadow. I remember thinking it was the most beautiful place I'd ever seen."

I grinned softly at her.

"So I spent the whole afternoon here, and when I finally found my way back home my dad had been worried, because it was almost dark. I knew if I told him I'd been wandering the woods he'd forbid me from doing it again, so I told him I'd been with Jessica." She shrugged, tilting her head and gazing away thoughtfully. "It felt good to have my own secret place you know? A place I didn't have to share with him or my mom or Jess or…" She paused. "From then on I'd come up here whenever I wanted to think or be alone. I'd lie on a blanket and stare at the sky, sing to myself, imagine…pretend. I'd bring up my sketch book and pencils and draw; close my eyes and see clear pictures of everything I wanted…" – she closed her eyes and smiled wistfully – "…everything my fifteen year-old heart dreamt of. In this little piece of perfection everything was possible, and all my dreams could come true." She opened her eyes and stared straight into mine. "Once…once I almost shared my secret."

My heart beat heavily against my chest. "With who?"

She held my gaze. "Do you really still need to ask me that Edward?"

I sighed unevenly. "Why didn't you?"

She looked down and shrugged, pulling at a few blades of grass, twisting and twirling them around her slender fingers.

"Why didn't I?" she repeated, looking beyond the trees and shrubs. "I was fifteen years old Edward. I played the conversation in my head over and over, trying to work up the nerve, and in every instance I just came out sounding stupid and childish. My _secret meadow_," she snorted, shredding the grass between her fingers and turning her eyes back to me. "Why would _you_ be interested in my secret meadow? I was a freshman and you were a junior, and to a fifteen year old girl that's a big difference. Yes, you were my friend Edward, but I always felt like if I said the wrong thing to you, you'd disappear, and the last thing I wanted was to lose your friendship."

"You could've never lost my friendship."

I heard the lie as soon as it left my mouth. Bella met my eyes and snorted, half her mouth twisting up in a wry grin.

I _had_ taken my friendship away from her, away from both of us.

"You and I didn't speak for over six years Edward. Obviously I lost your friendship somewhere along the way."

"Bella, I-"

"My dad's dying Edward."

Her words shocked me into silence.

She drew in a deep breath, her chest rising and falling with each breath. "A little over a year ago," she started again, "I was sitting in the middle of my Global Marketing class, an elective for a minor I was taking, and my cell phone vibrated. It was your dad."

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "_My_ dad?"

Bella nodded. "He said my dad was in the hospital and that it was serious, but he couldn't tell me any more over the phone. Obviously I cut out of that class like a bat out of hell. I was a mess by the time I called Al but she understood me because by the time I got home she'd already booked us a flight to Seattle and packed us a bag. Mike," she said carefully, and then paused, biting her lip. I nodded for her to continue. "Mike," she went on, "had lost his parents about a year before and…and we were sort of dating, but…" she shook her head quickly, as if getting herself back on track. "Anyway, he called me just before I got on the plane and when I told him what happened he offered to meet me in Forks, but I told him it wasn't necessary."

My jaw clenched tight involuntarily.

"To make a long story short, when I reached the hospital your dad told me that Charlie had been in some sort of altercation with a couple of guys he'd pulled over, and during the struggle he'd had a heart attack."

"Bella, I'm so sorry," I murmured, reaching out to take her hand and lacing my fingers through hers. She looked down at our intertwined hands.

"He was in critical condition, but he made it through. Your dad also told me…other things that I hadn't known."

"Like what?" I asked carefully.

She sighed. "That my father has a very sick heart," she smiled sadly. "That he's had a bad heart for years."

I frowned. "He's young though."

"He's a young man with an old heart," she smiled wryly. "Apparently your dad's been telling him for years that he needed to retire, but he wouldn't listen. He warned him that it would just get worse and worse…"

"Worse?"

"He needs a heart transplant," she said flatly, her voice hollow as if she'd said the words so many times that they left her empty now. "He needs one in the next few months or…" she trailed off. "And as I'm sure you've heard healthy donor hearts aren't the easiest thing to come by."

For a long time, we sat there in silence, listening to the wind rustling against the leaves. The cool breeze blew Bella's hair back and forth, and a long strand fluttered against her mouth, sticking between her lips. I reached over subconsciously and pulled it away, my fingers ghosting against her lips, and when I smoothed the strand against the rest of her hair, one solitary tear ran down her cheek, pausing at the edge of her mouth. I bent my head down and slowly leaned into her. She closed her eyes and gently, I brought my lips against the side of her mouth, and softly kissed her tear away.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered against the side of her face, tasting the sweet saltiness of her tear on my lips. "I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish I could take it away somehow." She swallowed and nodded, her eyes still closed. I pressed the side of my face against hers and ran it up and down her cheek slowly, wanting to give her some sort of comfort, yet unsure how. But last night, having her close, feeling her near me had been like a soothing balm. I could only hope that somehow my nearness offered her at least a fraction of that comfort. I tasted another teardrop on my lips, and when I heard her whimper and a quiet sob escape her lips, I wrapped my arms around her. She brought her arms around me and in that instant I threw all caution to the wind and pulled her onto my lap, holding her against me tightly, wanting nothing more in this world than to keep her safely in my arms forever.

"Shh," I murmured as she melted into my arms and cried. "I've got you," I whispered, smoothing down her hair, kissing the top of her head, "I've got you Bella." She nodded and held on tighter.

I knew it was wrong; I knew how selfish it was for me to be happy at this moment. My mind knew it, but my heart didn't. Because Bella was in my arms, letting me comfort her, letting me be her strength. And maybe in a couple of weeks it would be another man's arms she found comfort in, but for now, it was in mine, and I'd take all the pain that went with that a thousand-fold to be able to be here for her now. After an undeterminable amount of time, Bella pulled away, lowering her hands to her lap. She remained seated on my lap though, and when she looked up she smiled sadly, her chocolate eyes glassy and confused.

"I made Al go back to school a couple of weeks later. She fought me tooth and nail but I told her I needed her to speak to my professors and see if they'd give me extensions for the work I was missing. That did the trick. It was a good thing I convinced her to go because my dad was in the hospital for almost a month." She hesitated. "The medical bills…started to pile up. Your dad helped with his own billing as much as he could, which was" – she sighed – "amazing of him. Unfortunately when I called my dad's health insurance I found out just how low on the list of priorities a small-town police chief's health is. So I contacted our mortgage holder to find out about our options, but…" – she let out a large gust of air – "apparently the house is mortgaged to the hilt, to pay for my education, because God forbid I attended a local university," she said through gritted teeth. "Of course Charlie couldn't think of retiring, not when he had such a huge mortgage-"

I cut her off and took her chin in my hand. "Listen to me. Don't you dare blame yourself for any of this," I said through a clenched jaw. "_You_ didn't cause any of this. Your father is a grown man Bella, and if he made your education his priority it was because he loves you, and because he saw how smart, and talented and full of potential you are. _You_ are his pride and joy. Don't take his satisfaction in your accomplishments away from him now."

She stared back intently, her lips twitching. "I won't," she said shakily.

"The hospital's billing department kept pressuring me for payment, and the expenses started mounting, what with the medications and treatments Charlie needs. I actually considered asking Al for help." Her eyes were full of shame when she looked at me. "I would've never considered asking if I hadn't been so desperate. I would never take advantage of our friendship."

"I know that Bella," I smiled softly and caressed her cheek with the back of my hand.

"But…"

"But what?"

She exhaled deeply and then forced a smile. "Mike…he'd been calling me every day. Suddenly I felt this…connection to him I hadn't felt before, because he'd lost his parents recently, and it was like he understood me. He was there for me Edward."

I nodded and dropped my hand, swallowing thickly. What else could I possibly say? Six and a half years ago I'd made a conscious decision to lead a life that didn't include Bella in it. I'd lost all rights to be there for her. Could I begrudge another man - even if that man was Mike - because he hadn't been stupid enough to make that mistake?

"What did Mike do?"

She smiled tightly and began playing with the grass again. "Well…the hospital called me one day to double-check on the payment information they'd received. I told them I'd never sent them payment information. They said they'd received a check for the hospital bill, as well as instructions to send all further expenses associated with Charlie's treatment to-"

"To Mike," I said coolly.

She nodded without looking up.

I drew in a deep breath. "So is this why you need two jobs? So you can pay him?"

"He won't _let me _pay him Edward. But I can't let him continue to pay for my dad's medical expenses."

I frowned in confusion. "So what are you planning to do? Write him a check every month, even after you share the same last name?"

She shrugged. "Maybe I can pay him back before then…"

I shook my head. "I don't understand," I said honestly. "If you love him," – I felt a sharp pain as I said the words – "why can't you just accept-"

"Edward, everything was different when I got back to New York after my dad's heart attack. In the blink of an eye Charlie and I had reversed roles. I had to take care of him now. But I was still in school, and all I'd ever had were shitty part-time gigs to pay for my everyday expenses and help with school as much as possible. I know Mike and Alice don't see eye to eye, but Mike was right the other day Edward. I can't be that kid anymore, that girl that depends on her dad, because now he depends on me. It was time to grow up, and Mike...he was there to show me how. To introduce me to a grown-up world with real jobs and real responsibilities.

"How? By trying to turn you into someone you're not? That's not helping you Bella, that's molding you into who he wants you to be."

"How do _you_ know who I am Edward?" she said defensively. "You haven't seen me in over six years."

"How do _I_ know?" I repeated angrily. "Because _you_ look at the rain and see five-thousand different colors! You crack a window open and smell countless different scents! You paint a picture with your mind! You dream inside a meadow! You create beauty out of the _simplest things_, out of the most mundane ingredients! _That's_ who you are Bella," I said through gritted teeth. "No, I haven't seen you in over six years, but I _know_ you're not someone who should be sitting in an office and crunching numbers every day, or hosting dinner parties and sipping fucking merlot," I scowled, "while wearing your hair up in some fancy do and sporting some expensive cocktail gown you look beautiful in but _isn't_ _you_."

She shook her head as I spoke. "You don't understand," she said weakly. "I can't afford to be a dreamer anymore! None of those things are going to help Charlie! The real world doesn't let you hold out for that perfect dream. Mike's helped me…ground myself. He's helped me focus on being realistic, and on achieving _real_ goals."

It didn't even sound like her. This was Stepford Bella, sipping wine with an empty, glassy look in her eyes.

And suddenly it hit me. Either Mike had done something incredibly generous when he'd taken on Charlie's medical expenses.

Or he'd known exactly how to play his cards.

"A long time ago Bella," I murmured, wrapping my hand around hers and forcing myself to ignore the way her ring pressed up against my palm, "someone told me that dreams aren't supposed to be realistic. That's why they're called dreams. And that it's up to us to turn our dreams into reality. I didn't understand then." I cupped her cheek with my other hand. "But I think I'm starting to understand now."

Her eyes widened.

I let out a deep breath and swallowed thickly. "Just tell me one thing Bella." I could hear the frustration in my voice. "Just one thing." She gazed at me anxiously. "Do. You. Love. Him?"

She stared at me, her expression unreadable. I held my breath, because the answer would either break me, or instill my life with hope.

She breathed in deeply, expelling it out in a large gust.

"I was sure I loved him." She sighed and looked up, looking towards the trees again – "I was sure it was love. I mean, I know he can be a bit…arrogant, and slightly…condescending," she said slowly, "but no one's perfect, and after everything that's happened, I've learned to look beyond that. And I owe him so much. And life is _so_ short Edward," she said, looking down at her lap again. "You just never know…" she trailed off. "So when he asked me to marry him a few months ago I said yes, because we don't know how long we have, and maybe not all loves are full of sparks and fireworks. Maybe those are just teenaged dreams, and the reality is much quieter. Maybe…maybe sometimes shared connections are all you get."

I shook my head. "Bella, maybe," I breathed, "because life is so short is why you should wait for the sparks and fireworks." She looked up at me intently, her breathing suddenly erratic.

I couldn't hide behind my insecurities any longer. Doing so had lost me six years with Bella, had cost me the opportunity - _the right_ - to be by her side when she'd needed someone the most.

I cradled her face between my hands. "Bella, up until a few weeks ago, I didn't believe in sparks and fireworks either. But now…"

I let my eyes fall to her lips, slightly parted, pink and soft. Bella saw where my eyes had gone and gasped lightly, but then her own eyes trailed slowly down my face, to my nose, to the space above my top lip, and then rested on my lips. I watched her lick her lips and then suddenly we were moving towards each other, both of our eyes jumping back and forth between our eyes and our lips, and when my mouth claimed hers, a thousand sparks exploded inside me; a million fireworks erupted before my eyes as her lips gently molded themselves to mine. I took her top lip between mine, sucking on it tenderly, carefully; listening to her breathing and tasting the sweetness of her mouth, marveling at the fact that I was finally, _finally_ kissing Bella. And then her hands were in my hair, tentatively at first, and then gently caressing my scalp, making my hair stand on ends. She took my bottom lip in between hers, tasting it carefully, and then sighed unevenly when she pulled away. The blissful look in her eyes made me smile. I took a deep breath and kissed the tip of her nose gently before pulling away myself.

"Wow," she murmured.

"Yeah, wow," I agreed.

"That was...wow...and there wasn't even any tongue." She seemed to realize what she'd said and blushed, looking down at her lap.

I grinned wryly. "We can fix that."

"No," she chuckled, looking back up at me. "Not...not now."

I hadn't wanted to overwhelm her right now; it was why I'd kept the kiss chaste. And despite the almost overwhelming urge to lift her over my shoulder and run away with her forever, I knew I had to tread carefully here.

"You want to know what I just felt?" I said shakily. It was close to impossible to hold back now that I'd gotten a taste of how we could be together. I wanted to sing; to write pages and pages of lyrics dedicated to that kiss.

"I think I have a pretty good idea," she said quietly, a small smile playing on the edges of her mouth.

"It was miles beyond sparks and fireworks," I told her. "It was more like flames, and explosions." She chuckled. "I felt your lips against every recess of my heart. I tasted your breath in every corner of my mind. And like you said, there wasn't even any tongue," I teased. "Imagine if there _had_ been..."

"I think I'd better not right now," she said, fanning herself playfully.

I smirked. "You know, you're really giving me a swollen head right now."

She raised one brow.

"Jesus, I didn't mean it like that!" _Though if we were getting technical..._

She started laughing, and just like that, any awkwardness that may have resulted from the post-kiss moment was done away with.

"Bella," I began, more seriously, "I'm not going to ask you what you felt, because I know you've a lot going on, and I won't add to those pressures right now." She bit her lip, her breathing still erratic, her dark eyes wide and intense. "I want you to take your time and figure out what you feel, what you need, and what you want, because I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you, in any way you need me to be, whether as a friend, or…more. But if did feel anything close to what I just described, then that right there is your proof that there _is_ more. Dreams _do_ come true Bella; don't let anyone tell you they don't, because mine just did."

She gazed at me through big bright eyes, a thousand and one emotions running through them.

"No matter what," she said in a trembling voice, "will you still be my friend?"

I thought back to that day so many years ago, sitting in a different meadow with Bella, with Mike and Jessica surrounding us; Mike's arm wrapped around Bella's shoulder. More than Mike's taunts that day, _I'd_ driven a wedge through me and Bella's friendship, and lost six years of being a part of her life for it.

I ran my hand down the length of her dark hair. "Always Bella. And thank you. For sharing this place with me."

We didn't speak much as we walked back to Charlie's house. But that was okay, because my mind was reeling with everything I'd learned in the past couple of hours. As terrified as it made me to think that by this time next year Bella could be married to someone else, at the same time I felt strangely relieved. I'd laid my cards on the table, and Bella knew she could depend on me come what may, regardless of what she decided.

How I felt about my parents as I made my way back to their house, was an entirely different story.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I growled as soon as my mother opened the door.

Esme stared at me. "Come inside Edward, and we can talk."

I stalked by her, glaring at her as I went, and once I got inside I saw that my dad had come home.

"Why didn't you tell me what happened with Bella's dad?" I demanded without any other greeting.

"Hello to you too son. Your mom tells me you're in town with Bella Swan?"

"Just answer the goddamned question!"

"First of all," my dad said, leveling me with an even glare, "watch your language. Second of all, you know I can't divulge my patient's-"

"Aw that's a bunch of bull dad and you know it!" I yelled. "How many times have you come home from the hospital and told us about the people that walked through those doors that day? So don't tell me-"

"Edward!" My mom suddenly said. "You're our son, and we love you. But you have no right to stalk in here and demand answers for something we had no reason to think would interest you," she said calmly.

"No reason-" I repeated incredulously. "How could you say you had no reason-"

"Edward," my mom said in a voice I recognized from my youth as meaning _'I'm calm right now, but you're pushing me and if you don't back up you're going to get your ass handed to you,_' "the day you left for college you loaded your car and sped out of here like you were leaving the seventh layer of Hades. You rarely came to visit, and when you did you wanted to hear nothing about what was going on in this town."

"But it was different when it came to Bella-"

"No. It wasn't," she said clearly. "She called you before you left for college. Remember? And you didn't take her call. Those first couple of years, when you came home I mentioned her a couple of times. You always changed the subject and made it clear you didn't want to talk about her. So after a while I dropped it, because you came home very little as it was. I didn't want to push you and give you reason to come home even less."

I shook my head from side to side, running one hand through my hair in frustration. I felt defeated. But admitting she was right would be admitting I'd let the opportunity to be there for Bella slip through my fingers time and time again.

"You should've told me," I repeated, all fight gone out off me. "You should've told me."

"What would you have done had you known?" Esme asked.

"I would've been there for her!" I yelled. "I would've been around to…"

"To what?"

"Charlie tells me she's engaged, to that kid Newton that went to school with you?" my dad asked.

I didn't answer.

"Dad, her father, what are his...chances?"

My father shook his head. "There's a national wait list, and it's pretty long. There just aren't enough donors. Of course there's always a chance, but…"

"The medications. The treatments. Can't they help?"

"Those are just temporary solutions Edward. They help prolong his life, until a suitable donor is hopefully found. But they are not a cure, and their cost is very prohibitive, even with health insurance pitching in."

I closed my eyes. "Jesus. What's she going to do?"

"She'll go on Edward," Esme said, putting a hand on my shoulder, the way she'd always done when she'd wanted to comfort me. "She'll go on and hopefully she'll have a strong network of people who care for her to help her through it."

I stood there silently and nodded.

OOOOOOOOOO

A few minutes before five, Bella arrived with Charlie, and after Bella helped my mom with a few last minute touches to dinner, we all sat down to eat.

"So Carlisle," Charlie said half way through our meal, "how'd Edward here do with those shingles?"

I choked on the steak in my mouth while Bella patted me on the back.

"Pardon me?" my dad asked.

Charlie smirked, his brown eyes locked on mine. "You know, those shingles that needed replacing up on your roof?"

"I…didn't get a chance to get to it today," I coughed out, patting my chest with one hand to try to dislodge the piece of meat stuck in my breathing-tube. "I'll get to it next time I come down dad."

"O-kay," my dad said, frowning in confusion and sticking a forkful of steak in his mouth.

Charlie glared at me and snorted. "So…Edward, what is it that you do back in Seattle?"

I cleared my throat. "My brother Emmett and I own a club."

He nodded slowly, pursing his lips as if he wasn't very impressed. "You plan to do that for the rest of your life?"

"Charlie," Bella hissed quietly.

I put my fork and knife down. My mom watched me with a bemused smile on her face. "I'm…not really sure Chief. I guess I'll just see how far this takes me."

He nodded again, his expression strangely unreadable, and I realized that sick or not, Charlie was no fool. Just as I picked up my fork and knife again, he said, "Well do you have," he glanced at my dad quickly before bringing his eyes back to me, "any plans to go into medicine like your dad here?"

My dad grinned and set his utensils down to listen to my answer.

I straightened up in my seat. "Uhm…well…no sir, I can't honestly say it's something that interests me."

"So you have no back–up plans should this club business of yours take a dip south?"

The palms of my hands were slick with sweat. Suddenly, a warm hand wrapped around my arm discreetly, just below my elbow, and gave it a tight squeeze before quickly moving away.

I grinned, all at once seeing the mischievous sparkle in Charlie's eyes, not as bright as they once were, but still there.

"Well…I guess I could always go into roofing."

"Or you can start your own band," Bella chimed in with a crooked grin. She looked directly at her dad. "He's a great musician."

Charlie rubbed the hair on his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "So roofing or a musician?" he mused thoughtfully. The table went silent.

Charlie erupted into loud laughter, so contagious that pretty soon we were all laughing.

It started getting late and Bella and I had to get back on the road, so my dad offered to drive Charlie home so that we could leave directly from my parent's place. I said bye to my parents and promised to come see them more often, in the back of my mind making plans to accompany Bella again next time she came up. Bella hugged her dad tightly and told him to behave and take care of himself, and that she'd come see him again as soon as she could. They exchanged a meaningful look, and I looked away, wanting to give them privacy. Before I walked out of the door behind Bella, Charlie's hand suddenly landed on my shoulder.

"Good to see you again Edward," he said firmly.

"It was good to see you too sir. Take care of yourself."

"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure." He waved me off. "Look, I just wanted to tell you a couple of things." He looked around to make sure we had privacy.

His dark eyes locked on mine. "First, my girl Bella there is one smart cookie. Don't you worry two shits about that ring there, 'cause I don't. You can't buy Bells' love."

My mouth fell open. He smirked.

"Second," – he paused, his eyes softening. Something like sadness crept into them before he smiled. "I don't know 'bout your singing, but you're a good roofer. You make sure there's a good roof over my little girl's head," he said intently.

I snorted, but nodded my agreement, because my throat felt too constricted for me to say anything. He nodded in return and walked away.

It wasn't until we were half-way to Seattle that I realized the meaning of his words.

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><p><strong>AN: Let me just say right off the bat before I get any panicky reviews or PMs, Edward WILL NOT be donating his heart in this story. I like angst, but I'm not masochistic.**

**Did you like that kiss? **

**I kind of cheated on the title to this chapter. It's the alternate title to a movie called 'Vision Quest,' but it fit the chapter, so I went with it! :) **

**Also, I just found out I might be taking a last-minute vacay next week. If so, I probably won't be posting next week. But I'll try to get the next chapter written out so it'll be ready to post when I get back! ****Leave me reviews!**


	16. Chapter 15 Pump Up the Volume

**A/N: Sorry for the delay guys. Vacation was great. My family and I had a great time, but it did throw me off my schedule a bit…**

**Just want to tell you all that I've read all your reviews, but in the interest of getting this chapter out as quickly as possible, I didn't get a chance to respond to many of them. :)**

**To Saruha, I really wanted to respond to some of the comments you made, but you've got pm's disabled. Just to let you know though, that thing you said at the end of your review that you wanted to see happen? It's definitely coming, so hang in there.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

**Long chapter below to make up for the missed week. It's a **_**mostly**_** fluffy break in the story…**

**Chapter Song Rec: **_**Never Say Never**_** by The Fray**

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><p><strong>Chapter 15 – Pump Up the Volume<strong>

I balanced a couple of pizza pies and six packs in one hand as I rang the doorbell to the loft. Jake barked on the other side of the door, his growls and grunts making him sound more like a huge Rottweiler than a medium-sized furry Cockapoo.

'Cockapoo' I snorted. The name still made me chuckle. I wondered if Jake had ever actually seen himself in a mirror. From the sounds of his gruff snarls, apparently not.

Bella answered the door hurriedly, Jake at her side. She flashed me a grin and waved me in quickly before rushing towards the kitchen, her ponytail waving behind her and leaving the fresh scent of strawberries in its wake. I inhaled deeply, and managed to take one step…

Before Jake welcomed me with a low, warning growl.

"Down Jake!" Bella called out. "Ignore him Edward and come in! I've gotta get this batch of cupcakes out of the oven!"

"Ignore him. Sure," I muttered, glaring down at the mutt before me. Bella's request was easier said than done. Jake stood stiffly before me, glaring through deep set black eyes, totally blowing off Bella's command and standing sentry at the door. He lifted his hairy snout in the air and bared his teeth at me Clint Eastwood style.

'_Go ahead buddy, make my day.'_

I twisted my lips in exasperation. "Do we really have to do this Every. Single. Time Jake?"

The mongrel barked once in answer, making sure I got a good peek at his long pointy side incisors.

I sighed heavily. "Fine, fine."

My eyes never leaving the beast, I knelt down slowly and put the beers on the floor before reaching into the top pizza box and ripping off a large chunk of crust. I held it up in front of him. "Here we go Jakey boy. No need to show me those pearly whites." His eyes moved from me to the crust and back, his top lip twisted in a threatening snarl. I threw the crust directly in front of him.

Jake's head shot down like a bullet and the crust disappeared. Grunting and growling the whole way, he chewed through it like he was chewing through an arm or something, and I could only imagine who's arm _that_ would be. I stood up slowly and made to move past him while he was totally engrossed in his makeshift doggy treat.

When I looked up, Bella was standing outside the kitchen, watching me with an amused grin, one hand on her hip. She was wearing one of her over-sized t-shirts, the ones she used as smocks; hundreds of different colors decorating it in random patterns. Her hair was up in a messy pony-tail, and various shades of green marked her perfect creamy face.

She'd been painting. God, I loved when she'd been painting. When she was all natural. In her element.

I grinned wryly. "That dog is always going to hate me."

She shook her head and chuckled; a few strands of hair fell across her temple and into her face. "He _loves_ you Edward."

I went to stand in front of her, mesmerized by the unbelievably beautiful picture she made, and she wasn't even trying. "He doesn't love _me_," I joked, "he loves the food I have to bribe him with to get in."

She snickered. "Haven't you heard? The way to a dog's heart is through his stomach."

Unable to resist, I reached out and carefully moved the strands of hair out of her face, gently tucking them behind her ear. Her eyes followed the movement of my hand. My finger trailed gently up and down the back of her ear, feeling the fine little wisps of hair at the top of her soft neck. Bella drew in a deep breath and held it, biting her bottom lip. Of course, that's where my eyes trailed to next.

"I thought that was the way to a _man's_ heart?" I murmured quietly.

She smiled mischievously. "Man. Dog. Same difference."

I smirked and she chuckled. Sighing, I lowered my hand as the breath she'd been holding fanned across my face.

'_Give her space Edward. Give her space,"_ I chanted to myself internally.

Jake, having been given enough time to finish his makeshift treat, bounded back over as we made our way into the kitchen, jumping on me with his two front legs.

'_Dude, I'm ready for more.'_

'Sorry Jake," I said, shaking my head and depositing the pizzas on the counter and the beers - save one each for Bella and me - in the fridge, "the rest of the pizza is for the humans."

Jake growled lowly, pawing at me insistently as I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms in front of me. Bella glanced at him and laughed, turning her attention back to a red mixture she was mixing in a bowl.

Tentatively, I reached a hand out to Jake's chin, the way Bella had taught me, expecting another one of his snarls. His dark eyes followed me carefully, but as I reached his soft fur, instead of biting my hand off, Jake bobbed his head up and down languidly, sinking into my hand. When he looked up at me, his black eyes no longer held the constant threat they'd held since the first time I'd walked into this loft. They were trusting and open, and as fucking nutty as it sounded, I could've bet my left pinky at that moment that if Jake spoke, he'd be grunting out a rough,

'_Thanks dude._ _That feels good._'

"Oh shit," I snorted. "Will you look at that?"

"Told you," Bella laughed, shaking her head and returning to her mixing.

I offered her a beer and took one for myself. She opened it up and took a swig, licking her top lip appreciatively as she pulled the bottle away from her mouth. "Mmm. That's good," she murmured, checking out the label on the beer bottle.

I forced my focus away from her moistened lips. "So am I the first one here tonight?"

Bella rolled her eyes and smiled archly, shaking her head. "Rose and Emmett ran down to the market to get frosting for the cupcakes. And Jasper got here about an hour ago. They were helping me with the cupcakes, but then they went to get something from Al's room" – she glanced at the clock on the stove – "and seem to have gotten lost or something in there," she said dryly.

I snorted. "Shorty doesn't waste any time, does she?"

Bella chuckled. "Al's a big believer of going for 'it,' _whatever_ 'it' may be."

I stared at her. "And you? Don't you believe in going for 'it?'

She met my gaze and held it for a few seconds before turning back to her mixing. "Sometimes it's not that easy. Sometimes there are…other considerations."

_Give her space. Give her space._

I changed the subject. "So did Emmett tell you guys about the Halloween Party down at the club?"

For a second, Bella closed her eyes tightly. "Yeah it sounds great," she said, but her expression didn't quite match her words.

"You're coming, right?"

She smiled tightly and looked up. "I'll try Edward," she said, before dropping her eyes back to the mixing bowl.

It had been almost two weeks since we'd returned from Forks, and even though on the surface things looked the same, something had changed after Bella and I kissed in her meadow…

For one thing, the anger and resentment that had been eating away at me since the second I'd found out that Bella was engaged got pushed to the side for the most part. Something else had taken its place.

Determination.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was engaged.

But holy fuck I knew she'd felt _something_ at that meadow_;_ and if it was anything close to what I'd felt…

Still, while I wanted nothing more than to explore and expand on that, I knew now wasn't the time. Charlie was seriously ill, and Bella had the world on her shoulders. I wasn't looking to add to that stress by forcing her to examine our relationship. If what she needed from me right now was a friend, someone to listen, someone to be there for her, then that's what I'd be. And unlike that prick she was engaged to, _I'd_ remind her that she could still chase her dreams, even while the real world made its demands. Because if Bella lost herself in the person Mike was trying to create, _that_ would be the real tragedy here.

No, I didn't know what the future had in store for Bella and me. But I knew what I had _now_. I had the _real_ Bella in front of me, and I'd be damned if I let her fade away. The one Mike had created was a specter; a figment of his imagination. _That_ was the Bella he'd placed a ring on. So I enrolled in the Charlie Swan School of Thinking:

Fuck the ring. The ring didn't mean two shits.

We came back from Forks and took up our movie nights again, all of us getting together in the early evenings before we had to head out to our respective clubs. We'd have dinner and then work our way through the remaining '80s teen movies in Bella and Alice's stockpile. Some nights after closing we'd hang out at Nitelock and shoot some pool; talk shit; drink some beer.

Never wine. I fucking hated wine.

And in between, Bella and I took long walks along the waterfront and talked and laughed and talked some more. We'd go back to her place, where I'd give her guitar lessons, and afterwards she'd sit and create something beautiful while I strummed my guitar. The sketches and paintings she made were amazing. I could only wonder what inspired _her_.

Bella and I touched.

A lot.

Not in an intimate way; though God help me I fucking ached for it.

No, really. I actually physically ached. By now my balls were probably bluer than a pair of robin's eggs. And probably bigger than them too.

I'd touch her hair; nudging it behind her ears whenever a few wisps would get in her eyes; tugging on it playfully whenever I teased her. She'd push my hair off of my forehead slowly, her fingers grazing my scalp and sending a cool shiver down my spine. I'd take her hand in mine and tug her gently when I wanted to show her something. She'd lace her fingers through mine and do the same. Or put her hand on my shoulder while she talked to me. Or gaze into my eyes with an intensity that made me feel like she was actually reaching out and physically touching my soul.

But we never crossed that invisible line. There was no more kissing after the meadow. And though our touches weren't intimate, Bella was always the first to pull away, the first to let go, the first to break our gaze. Guilt would creep over her features; wrinkling her brow; weighing down her smiles. So I wouldn't push it, because guilt wasn't what I wanted from her.

Still, every once in a while, when Bella would lift her brush off her canvas, or her charcoal pencils from paper, or when I'd look up from my strings, or when I'd sink a ball into the right pocket, or when we'd laugh together during some dorky moment in one of the movies, our eyes would meet; brown and green swirling and mixing together.

It was in those moments that I knew.

Mike could call her every day, and she could disappear into her room during those calls, making my heart clench painfully.

But _I_ had the real Bella. The one _he_ had was a just an illusion.

The question was, which Bella would win out in the end?

I wouldn't push. I wouldn't force or make demands.

But I wasn't going to sit by idly either and watch the woman of my dreams let go of all her dreams and become someone else, locked up in a concrete and steel box two thousand miles away.

So every once in a while, I'd give her a gentle reminder.

She had options.

Before she could bite her lip off as she stared at the mixing bowl with blinding concentration, I changed the subject.

"So what are you making there?"

She swallowed thickly and looked up, a grateful expression on her face. "Red Velvet Cupcakes. I thought they'd go good with the pizza."

"And the beer," I reminded her, holding up my bottle.

She chuckled and snatched the bottle away from me playfully. "Yeah, and the beer," she said, taking a drink from mine and then handing it back to me.

After a few more mixes, Bella poured the red batter into a metal tin with small paper cups lining each cupcake holder. When she was done filling them, she dug one finger deep into the remaining batter and came up with a huge blob of red batter on the tip. She gazed at it longingly for a split second before sticking it deep inside her pink mouth. The moan of delight she let out stiffened me – literally stiffened me - and then slowly she withdrew her finger; inch by painstaking inch, sucking it clean and leaving it wet.

"Wow. That's sweet," she murmured innocently.

I swallowed back my drool, unable to move anything other than my eyes, which kept making a circuit between her face and her moist finger. Her eyes suddenly came up to my face, and she quirked her head to the side, studying me, and when awareness dawned on her, her eyes grew wide. I expected her cheeks to flame red, or for her lip to get caught between her teeth again, or for her to turn away from me.

What I didn't expect was how, without breaking our gaze – her finger went carefully into the bowl again, and when she pulled it out it dripped with the most tempting bit of bright red batter in existence.

"Do you want a…taste?" she breathed.

_Holy fucking hell, was she serious?_

I must've nodded, but I couldn't be sure. Holding her gaze, I inclined my head forward, inch by inch, until it was just a couple of centimeters from her finger. I could smell the sweetness of the batter, and I inhaled deeply. Bella kept her eyes trained on me; her breathing suddenly deeper and faster.

When I stuck my tongue out and gave her finger the first lick, I couldn't suppress the groan that erupted low in my throat. Bella drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting it out shakily and biting her lip while I swirled my tongue around her red finger, licking up every last bit of batter. It was the sweetest, most sinful bit of batter I'd ever had the privilege of licking in my twenty-five years of life. And then I pursed my lips around her finger and slowly sucked up every last bit of taste off her finger, until all I could taste was just _her; _soft and silky and one hundred times sweeter than any damn batter.

I looked up at her when I was done. Her breathing was erratic; her chest heaving up and down; eyes dark and burning.

I licked my lips. "I want more," I murmured roughly. Her eyes grew bigger.

"Hey are those cupcakes ready yet?" Alice called out. She and Jasper bounded into the kitchen, unashamedly sporting matching 'we just fucked' looks. Bella quickly turned away from me, returning the bowl to the counter and resting her hands on the edges, as if supporting herself.

Alice spotted the bowl and grinned.

"Ooh yum! Batter!"

"Alice wait!" Bella warned, turning back around, but Alice was already sticking her finger in the batter, followed by Jasper. They sucked their fingers greedily.

"What?" Alice asked through a mouthful of cake batter.

Bella chuckled and smiled sheepishly at both of them. "I sort of had my finger in there."

"So?" Jasper snorted.

"Twice."

"She double-dipped," I confirmed with a grin.

"Ewww!" Alice cried, doubling over. "Jesus B, warn a girl! What the heck! That batter is totally useless now."

At that moment, I could've thought of a good use for it. Namely as a lather for Bella's body that I could lick and suck and-

Jasper shrugged and dipped another finger in. "So what?" he said, sticking his finger in his mouth, "more fingers just makes it tastier."

"Eww, hell no!" Alice said. "I don't know where all your fingers have been!"

Bella turned around and murmured under her breath. "Well I think we all know where Jasper's fingers have been."

Alice and Jasper looked at each other and chuckled guiltily.

"You two are gross!" Bella laughed.

"Hey, you said it. Not us," Jasper snickered. He dug into the batter again. "Anyway, fuck it. I'm starving now," he groaned.

Alice shook her head. "I can't believe you're eating that after all the fingers it's had in it! You're like that guy Bella and I knew in college junior year. Remember that guy B?" she chuckled, "The one that screwed everything that moved!"

"Ugh, yeah, I remember him," Bella answered disdainfully. "He used to give me the heebeejeebees." She shuddered at the memory.

Alice giggled and shook her head, picking up one of the ready cupcakes and taking a huge bite. "I mean, why do some people think your college years come with a license to hook up with everyone within a three mile radius of campus?"

The three of them laughed, while I chuckled once nervously.

I changed the subject. "Looks like you two really built up an appetite, huh? There's pizza there," I said, jerking my head towards the pizza box.

Alice clapped her hands happily and tore open the box, hungrily grabbing a slice, while Jasper kept going at it with the batter.

Bella rolled her eyes, wiping her hands on her smock. "Well, I'm going to take a quick shower before the movie starts." She turned to face me. "I'll be out in fifteen minutes." Her eyes suddenly went to my mouth and she lifted her hand to the edge of my lips, wiping gently with one finger.

"You had some batter there," she murmured.

I nodded silently, and watched her walk away.

Friendship? Yeah, it was good and everything.

But that didn't mean I didn't dream of grabbing her and bending her over the table, or throwing her over the sofa, or pushing her against the wall - almost every minute of my waking moments. And pretty much all of my sleeping ones too.

"Where the hell are Rose and your brother with the frosting?" Jasper complained, interrupting my wayward dreams. "I can't eat cupcakes without frosting. Lemme go call'em and see what's holding them up." He walked out of the kitchen.

Alice and I were left alone. She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer, popping the top before jumping gingerly on top of the counter.

"So…"

"So…"

"You and I haven't had a chance to talk in a while Edward," she mused, pizza in one hand and beer in the other.

I crossed my legs at my ankles and leaned back against the counter. "Not my fault. You've had a hard time finding your way out of your bedroom lately." I grinned and gave her a playful wink. She smiled impishly. "What's on your mind Shorty?"

Alice ran her index finger back and forth against her side of the counter, staring down at her finger anxiously. "Well, I know that Bella finally told you about Charlie…but…I wasn't sure if she told you that…that…well that Mike…"

"…that Mike's paying for his medical bills?" I prompted.

She let out a sigh heavy with relief and relaxed her shoulders. "Yes! She did tell you! Thank God! She doesn't like to talk about that, so I wasn't sure. So she told you about the job too then."

I smirked. "You mean that she's looking to work two jobs here so she can pay Mike back."

Alice straightened up, her face suddenly unreadable. "Yeah. Yeah that's what I meant."

I frowned.

She put her beer and pizza down and huffed angrily, looking up at the ceiling. "God I hate Mike."

I took a drink from my beer and studied her for half a minute. "Let me ask you something Shorty. Why do you hate Mike so much?"

She wrinkled her brow. "Don't you?"

I snorted and pulled out a pizza slice from the box. "Alice, I've got my own set of reasons for why I'd get a kick out of sticking my foot up Mike's ass." I took a bite. "But I'd like to hear yours." She stared at me evenly. "I mean, what is it?" I asked through a mouthful of pizza. "Is it because he wants to marry your partner-in-crime, thereby making it harder for you two to pick up guys, are you jealous of the time she spends with him?"

Alice narrowed her eyes at me and put her beer back down on the counter.

"Do I look like I'm on a man-hunt? If that were the case Edward, I'd hate _you_ too, wouldn't I?"

I shrugged.

She sighed. "I see I'm going to have to get creative here in order to maintain the BFF code. Okay, so back in college, Bella wasn't much of a dater. I always found that strange, because I mean, she's pretty and smart and fun, right?"

I nodded but made no further comment. What was I supposed to say? _I'd_ personally been more like that guy they'd both known in college that pretty much screwed everything that moved.

"None of the guys in school ever seemed to interest her." She held my gaze intently before continuing. "I asked her a few times, if she'd left some guy behind in high school. If maybe that was why…"

An image of Bella and Mike at prom suddenly invaded my mind, even though I hadn't even attended myself.

"…but she said it wasn't like that. That the guy that she'd liked back in high school hadn't liked her back. There. That's all I'm saying."

"What?" I asked, confused. "Mike always liked her. I remember that clearly."

Alice gave me an exasperated look. "Oh my God you are seriously killing me here." She huffed loudly. "Okay, let's see," she said, staring up at the ceiling. "How can I put this in Kindergarten terms?" She snapped her fingers and looked back at me.

"Junior year of college, a friend of ours was having this big party down in the East Village and I convinced Bella to go. That's where she bumped into Mike the first time." She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You should've seen him; from the very beginning he followed her around, trying to impress her with his stuffy suit and his big important corporate gig down on Wall Street. God, he was obnoxious," she snorted. "But he was an old friend of hers, so she gave him her number. They hung out a few times and I asked her why, and she said it was because he reminded her of home. See, Bella was happy enough in New York, but it was never her scene. She's always missed Washington. Mike clearly liked her though, and I told her so, and she said she'd made it clear to him that she didn't feel that way about him; that they were just friends. Okay, and _that's_ all I'm saying. You're going to have to put your thinking hat on here buddy."

I put my pizza down and thought about that for a few seconds.

What had Alice said before? That Bella had told her that the guy she'd liked in high school hadn't liked her back? Except…except Mike had _always_ liked her. Back in high school, and apparently since he bumped into her again in New York. So…

"Who was the guy that didn't like her in high school?" I asked slowly, more to myself than to Alice.

She lifted one brow. "You tell me Edward. _You_ were there. _I_ wasn't. _I_ can only tell you who the guy she _thinks_ didn't like her back in high school is. Actually, no I can't," she said quickly. "BFF Code and all. That's why we're doing this the hard way."

I was suddenly bombarded with images of a teenaged Bella, smiling widely up at me, coming to sit with me when no one else would, sharing my lunch, sharing her art with me and only me, eyes growing wide when I'd show her one of my songs, cradling my face in her hands…

Bella's words from the other day at her meadow came back to me.

'_You were my friend Edward, but I was always afraid that if I said the wrong thing, you'd disappear.'_

What had she considered the wrong thing to say?

I swallowed thickly. "Jesus, did I really fuck it up that badly?" I muttered, lowering my head and cradling it in my hands.

"I don't know. Like I said, I wasn't in high school with you guys. I wish I had been. Sounds like I would've had my work as B's BFF cut out for me."

I didn't answer. I was too lost in old memories, suddenly replaying them from different angles. But…but it was impossible! Wasn't it? I was Crusty Cullen for God's sakes! Who in their right mind would've liked me back then?

"Edward, remember what I told you the other day; that you need to open your eyes?"

I nodded heavily, my hands still cradling my head.

"Open them wide. I know you and Bella had a heart to heart, but…there's still a lot you don't see. Keep your eyes wide open and you'll see a whole shit-load of things that you might not like, but that _need_ to be resolved one way or the other. And soon." She hesitated. "You asked me before why I don't like Mike."

I nodded again.

"Bella realized at one point that there wasn't much in Mike that reminded her of home. If you ask me he's pretty much the embodiment of all the negative stereotypes regarding life in the big city. But while Mike may be a lot of things, stupid isn't one of them. When he realized their hometown connection wasn't cutting it anymore, he changed his game plan over and over, until he found the one that stuck.

My jaw clenched tight; my hands fisted automatically, but at the same time I tried desperately to maintain an open mind because if what Alice was hinting at was true…

"What are you saying?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Listen to me. I grew up in the City. I know all about games. Bella's so much more trusting. Mike doesn't give a shit about the money Bella owes him Edward," Alice said, shaking her head disgustedly, "Not because he's so goddamn generous or anything, but because he knows that's the glue-"

"What's the glue?" Bella asked, walking back into the kitchen freshly showered in skinny jeans and her black Nitelock top.

Alice jumped and gasped, but then instantly morphed her face into a blank mask and opened up one of the kitchen drawers, sifting through it impatiently.

"The fabric glue. Do you know where it is?" she asked. "I'm working on a new design and I've got to glue together some pieces…"

"Is _that_ what you and Jasper went looking for in your bedroom?" Bella smiled sardonically. "Isn't it in that cabinet up there where it usually is?" She jerked her head towards a cabinet just over Alice's head.

Alice turned and gingerly opened up the cabinet. "Well wouldn't you know!" Alice exclaimed. "Right where you said."

"Yeah, funny how it's exactly where it's always been," Bella teased dryly. "Too bad you two wasted so much time looking in the wrong place." Alice chuckled nervously and skipped out of the kitchen, while I finished off my beer and tried to process the things Alice had just told me.

OOOOOOOOOO

Bella called me late the next morning. I balanced myself off the bed on one elbow and answered my cell.

"Am I waking you? I waited as long as I could to call," she breathed excitedly. I could hear the restrained agitation in her voice.

"I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be woken by," I responded honestly, especially since it was her face I'd just had behind my lids, and her body between my arms.

"Stop," she chuckled with a hint of embarrassment. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"I sold my first two paintings last night!"

I sat straight up. "You did?"

"Yup," she laughed excitedly. "You know those paintings I had in the living room? The ones of the Meadow by Charlie's house and the meadow in Central Park in New York?"

"Yeah."

"Well Rose asked me the other day if I'd mind hanging those by the bar at Nitelock. She said they'd add character or something to the joint."

"Hey, I didn't know you were lending those out. If I'd known that-"

"Yeah, yeah, just listen," she laughed. "Anyway, this couple comes in last night, and they're going on and on about how much they love those paintings. How they've been to Central Park and how the painting captures its beauty perfectly and Rose tells them I'm the artist and starts selling them this cockamamie story about how I'm the next big thing, and how my paintings are in huge demand right now, but that I'm willing to sell those two for five hundred a piece. I busted out laughing, expecting the couple to laugh right along with me. But next thing I know I'm holding a thousand dollar check in my hand and the couple's busy taking my paintings off the wall!"

"Oh shit!" I laughed.

"I know!"

"That's great Bella! I told you! I told you you'd make it big! Those people got a goddamned bargain if you ask me. You are so friggin' talented." I ran my hand through my hair. "God, I'm proud of you."

She chuckled shyly. "Thanks."

"Only…" I said, more subdued.

"Only what?" she asked quickly.

"Well, if I would've known those paintings were for sale, especially the one of your meadow, _I_ would've bought it from you Bella."

She was quiet for a long time. "I…I've got something to tell you," she finally breathed. I could picture her biting her lip on the other line. "I'm sort of working on a painting…for you."

I swallowed thickly and closed my eyes. How was it possible for me to feel so much for this girl and not explode?

"In that case, I've got something to tell you too."

"What?" she murmured.

"I've been working on something for you too."

"Sure you have," she chuckled once.

"I have," I assured her. "But first, how 'bout I take you out to brunch to celebrate you finally being discovered?"

She laughed heartily. "I don't know about being discovered, but brunch sounds good. How 'bout I meet you in an hour or so? I've got to wake up Al and tell her the news, and then call Charlie, and then call-" – she stopped herself.

I stiffened, knowing who she'd left out and unable to completely fight off the bitter jealousy. "Go make your calls and I'll meet you in an hour."

Bella and I agreed to meet by the waterfront, and an hour later as I walked towards the restaurant we'd planned to eat at, it suddenly hit me.

Bella had called _me_ first. Not _him_. Not even Al or her dad.

_Me._

The thought exhilarated me and made my heart ache all at the same time. I'd been up all night thinking of what Alice had said. Was it really possible that Bella could've been mine years ago? I already knew I'd fucked up my chance to be there for her by running from her all those years ago. But Jesus, even then, could we have been more than friends? Had she really been able to see past the acne and the glasses and the awkwardness, and actually liked what she'd seen?

But what was driving me mad the most was the thought that perhaps Mike hadn't acted out of selflessness a year ago when he'd taken up Charlie's medical bills. Because if that was true, then Mike was still the two-faced manipulative asshole he'd been in high school. Only this time he wasn't fucking with me, but with the girl I lived and breathed for. That, I would not allow.

Bella arrived looking positively radiant. My chest clenched tightly at the sight of her, glowing and happy. Her cheeks were flushed beautifully, her hair hung loose and flowing behind her. She looked heartbreakingly lovely and carefree in a short denim jacket over a knee-length flowery dress and brown cowgirl boots.

_This_ was what Bella was meant for; to flourish and thrive at her own successes, not at someone else's.

She marched over to the table where I sat waiting for her and stood in front of me; a huge grin on her face.

I grinned back, feigning unfamiliarity. "I'm sorry miss, do I know you?" She chuckled. "I mean, you're beautiful and all, but I'm afraid I'm waiting for a famous artist friend of mine that was kind enough to fit me in for a brunch date."

"Oh," she nodded, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "A famous artist friend. Well, is she cute at least?"

I shrugged. "Who cares? She's famous."

She laughed and swatted me on my arm with her bag. I chuckled and stood up and pulled her chair out.

When the waitress came we put in our orders; Western Omelets, Canadian bacon, Spanish cheese and sausage. Bella's appetite was as huge as her smile this morning.

"And please bring us a couple of glasses of Mimosas," I asked the waitress.

"I thought you didn't do mixed drinks," Bella smirked, once the waitress walked away to fill our orders.

I turned half of my mouth up. "I don't. But for this I'll make an exception." I winked.

She rolled her eyes.

"So what did everyone else say when you told them?"

Bella smirked, but a small smile played on her pouty lips. "Well Alice is already pulling half of my paintings off the walls, telling me where she thinks they'd hang _perfectly_ at the club. She mumbled something about being my agent before she left for work, which might be a problem because I think Rosalie's already appointed herself that." I chuckled lowly and she rolled her eyes. "And Charlie," she smiled tenderly, "I think Charlie's ready to organize a ticker-tape parade or something over there in Forks. By the way," she grinned mischievously, bringing her glass of orange juice up to her mouth, "he says to tell you he's got a fence that needs fixing and that he wouldn't mind talking you through it. You know," her eyes sparkled "should your parent's house need some fence mending or something."

This time, I laughed loudly. "Tell him I'll let him teach me next week when we're up there."

Bella's face clouded over for an instant, but then she smiled broadly again.

The waitress brought our food and as soon as she walked away, Bella dug in. I watched her and forced myself to ask the next question.

"So what did Mike say?"

Her fork froze by her lips, and she brought it down slowly, chewing carefully and swallowing before answering.

She kept her eyes on her plate of food. "He said it was…cute." Her mouth twisted around the last word.

"Pardon?" I asked, sure I must've misheard her.

She looked up at me and her face went blank. "He said," she repeated slowly, "that it was cute. As in your-four-year-old-niece-paints-a-stick-figure-of-you-with-a-square-house-and-a-triangle-roof-and-a-sun-with-fifty-rays-sticking-out-of-it-and-you-tell-her-you'll-hang-it-on-your-fridge-to-make-her-happy-cute." Her nostrils flared slightly and she raised her cup of orange juice and smirked wryly. "Well, those weren't his _exact_ words, but the meaning was clear."

I stared back at her in disbelief, holding back the stream of your-fiancee-is-the-biggest-asshole-on-the-planet-and-if-he-were-here-right-now-I'd-shove-my-fist-down-his-throat-and-see-how-cute-he-found-_that_ on the tip of my tongue.

She shrugged and forced a smile, staring thoughtfully at her OJ. "Mike's kind of…upset with me right now."

I clenched my jaw tightly. "May I ask why _he's_ upset at _you_?" I asked, unable to resist.

She didn't answer right away, and then she sighed and met my eyes. "Well, this weekend was supposed to be our weekend to see each other."

_Supposed to be._ I couldn't help the wave of relief that washed over me at those words.

"And he's not coming up?" I asked carefully, trying to keep the thrill out of my voice.

She shook her head slowly and then her eyes moved back to her orange juice. She traced the rim of the glass with her forefinger before swallowing thickly. "He sort of…wants me to go down to New York for the weekend."

I went rigid, my mouth set in a tight line.

"We planned it a while ago," she went on shakily. "He's having this big masquerade party for his friends and colleagues and I…I was supposed to come down and join him."

_You mean stand next to him with a pasted smile and a floor-length cocktail gown, playing the perfect Stepford girlfriend._

"But I can't take off the whole weekend." She looked up at me. "I can't," she repeated, as if she were trying to convince someone. I wasn't sure who."Maybe one night I can do, but not the whole weekend."

I suddenly remembered something. "What about the Halloween party at Eclipse?"

Her face fell and she looked back down. "I…don't know if I can make it Edward. I may have to fly down to New York for the night and…" she trailed off.

My pulse pounded wildly in my veins. "Well you gotta do what you gotta do, right?" I said stoically, stabbing a sausage wildly with my fork and shoving it in my mouth.

She didn't answer. Just then the waitress stopped by.

"I'm sorry," she said to both of us. "But we seem to be out of champagne for the mimosas. Would you like me to get you some wine instead?"

"No wine!" Both Bella and I yelled out at the same time. The waitress mumbled an apology and quickly walked away.

I'd promised her my friendship with no further expectations; no strings attached.

I'd promised.

OOOOOOOOOO

When I walked into Nitelock later on that night to deliver my present to Bella, I reminded myself of my promise up on that meadow. I wanted more, but I wouldn't force it.

But I wouldn't hide it anymore either.

She was behind the bar when I walked in, pouring out a beer from the tap. And though I could've stood there and watched her for hours, I forced myself to break my gaze away from her and went searching for Jasper where he'd told me to meet him.

Once everything was set up, I waited, strumming nervously. Then I heard Jasper's voice, some quick introductions, and then it was time to come out.

The lights over the stage were on the blinding side, making me squint while I adjusted the mike. When I looked up my eyes trailed immediately to the bar, where Bella stood stunned, wide-eyed and open-jawed, holding a half full beer mug in the air. I grinned at her, and just like that, the rest of the club disappeared. My heart beat out a quick and steady beat against my chest, no longer out of nerves, but always and only for the girl gazing at me intently and curiously. A small smile formed on her perfect lips.

That was all the encouragement I'd ever need.

I threw the strap over my head and ran my hand along the neck of my old, beat up guitar. Then taking a deep breath, I spoke into the mike. And though there were probably a couple of hundred people in the crowd, I only saw one.

"This is for you Bella. This has _always_ been for you."

I strummed out the bars of the song I'd written ages ago.

'_Hey pretty girl with the long brown hair  
>When you smile it's almost more than I can bear<br>Such a sweet face  
>I wanna go any place with you, I do<em>

Bella covered her mouth with one hand, her chocolate eyes huge and glassy, while I continued, never taking my eyes off of her.

_Tell me what's on your mind  
>Take my hand and we'll leave it all behind I swear<br>Don't you know you own my heart  
>I knew it from the start<br>That I'd lost it all to you, it's true_

She kept staring at me incredulously, and then Rosalie moved over to her and put a hand on one of her shoulders. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a tiny little pixie hopping on the stool in front of Bella, watching me with a small smile on her face. But that was all inconsequential; peripheral, because I only had eyes for the pretty girl – the _wondrous_ girl - with the long brown hair.

_Hey pretty girl, don't you know you are my world?  
>Don't you know you own my dreams…<em>

The club erupted in applause when I finished the song, but I ignored it all. Bella's face was flushed; her eyes shining. Slowly, a huge smile erupted over her face.

But I wasn't done. I cleared my throat and started again.

_At some point in time, she left the little girl behind  
>And she's become a woman now<br>She up and left her little hometown, yeah now she's making it work over by the Sound  
><em>'_cause she's a woman now_

Bella laughed incredulously, fisting her hair in both hands and cradling her head. She mouthed several words that looked like, 'oh my God, oh my God,' over and over.

_And all I want is to be with you  
><em>_But I know I've got a lot to prove  
><em>'_Cause baby you're a woman now  
><em>_And I've gotta be a man for you_

When I finished, the applause was deafening. But I was too mesmerized by the brown-eyed angel to care. I spoke into the microphone.

"I didn't write this last one," I said with a smirk, "but the pretty girl with the long brown hair likes it, so…"

Bella grinned and tilted her head curiously.

My hands moved easily; almost subconsciously over the strings.

_Summer has come and passed. The innocent can never last. Wake me up when September ends.'_

Bella's grin grew impossibly wider, and a few voices in the audience started hooting and hollering. I kept strumming the soft chords.

_Like my father's come to pass, seven years has gone so fast. _

Bella sang along with me.

_Wake me up when September ends._

_Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars.  
><em>_Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are.  
><em>_As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost.  
><em>_Wake me up when September ends._

I strummed the soft notes, watching Bella. At one point Rosalie leaned into her ear and said something, causing Bella's entire face to morph in wider amazement. She shook her head and laughed, and then Alice moved in and they let her in on whatever they were discussing. Alice bounced up and down in her seat, clapping her hands excitedly. I furrowed my brows curiously and continued playing.

And then suddenly everything changed.

As played by Green Day, the song introduced percussions and electric guitars at this part. But since I'd been the only one on stage, an acoustic guitar would have to do.

Or at least, I'd _been_ the only one on stage.

Abruptly from my left, a set of drums joined in, and when I glanced over, surprised, Emmett was on stage behind me. And then an electric guitar joined in and I barely had to look to know it would be Jasper on my right.

'_Summer has come and passed the innocent can never last.'_

Electric guitar, drums and acoustic guitar all exploded together.

'_Wake me up when September ends,'_ the three of us sang.

The moment was surreal, watching Bella sing along, dancing to the beat, and the louder the music got, the more she danced, her head bobbing up and down and her hands in the air. Rosalie leaned in and said something in her ear again and Bella laughed. A second later Rosalie climbed up on top of the bar and pulled on Bella's arms and lifted her over. Alice followed suit and then the three of them, Bella, Rosalie and Alice were up on the bar, dancing and laughing and singing along. And when we got to the climax of the instrumental bridge, Rosalie pretended to drum on some invisible drums, Alice rocked on an invisible electric guitar, and Bella…

Bella matched me note for note on her air guitar, strumming _hard_, giving it her all. Her head bounced rhythmically to the beat, her hair waved wildly. A dozen emotions flashed across her face, and I felt as if I could finally read them all.

_This_ was love. And _I'd_ never loved her more.

The club burst into a heavy barrage of applause and whistles when we were done, but all I saw was Bella; breathless and glowing. Her chest, like mine, heaved from excitement and exertion.

Suddenly Alice was running on-stage, jumping on Jasper and squealing, and it was more than obvious to everyone in attendance that his performance had earned him one damn lucky night.

Again.

And Emmett.

If the way Rosalie sauntered over to my brother was any indication, she seemed to have finally accepted the inevitable draw of a square jaw. With no warning or apology, she straddled Emmett right there over the drums and shoved her tongue into his mouth, turning around for just two seconds to yell out to the throng of screaming women,

"This here's my man!"

Emmett roared his approval and wrapped his huge arms around her hips, grabbing her ass unapologetically.

I smirked and turned my eyes back to the bar, anxious to see the object of _my_ dreams, and fucking hoping for a similar greeting…

But other than Bree, the other bartender at Nitelock, no one manned the bar.

I scanned the crowd left and right, my heart pounding unevenly; searching anxiously for brown hair and chocolate eyes.

But I found…

Nothing.

Bella was nowhere to be found.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Reviews are almost as good as having a set sung to me by Edward. :)**

**We're about 3/4s of the way in this story, give or take (it's give, trust me). Put me on Author and/or Story Alert if you're interested in reading my next story. **


	17. Chapter 16 Dirty Dancing

**A/N: There will be two updates this week. They'll both be mostly on the fluffy side again, but next week we'll be getting into the thick of things…**

**I'm revising the final chapter count to closer to 25 chapters. Hope you all don't mind. :)**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Song Recs:<br>****_She's Like the Wind_ by Patrick Swayze  
><strong>**_Dirty Dirty Dancer_ by Enrique Iglesias **

**Club songs Edward and Bella dance to:**

**_Make love in this Club_ by Usher  
><strong>**_I'll Fly With You_ by Gigi D'Agostino **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16 - Dirty Dancing<strong>

"Is she there Alice?"

"She's locked in her room, painting."

"She's still not answering my calls or texts."

Alice sighed on the other line. "Edward, she _had_ to leave the other night."

"I'd like for her to tell me that."

"Just give her some space."

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Is…she going to New York tomorrow?"

Alice didn't answer right away. I ran a frustrated hand through my hair; my leg bounced up and down anxiously under my desk.

"Come on Alice. Throw me a damn bone. I'm climbing the walls here."

"I really don't know Edward. All I know is that…Mike sent her an airline ticket but…I don't know what she's planning to do. I don't think she knows herself yet."

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my forefinger.

"So much for public serenades, huh?" I snorted cynically.

"Edward, I _know_ the other night meant a lot to Bella."

"Yeah," I said sarcastically, "so much so that she ran from me and I haven't seen her since then."

"You've given her a lot to process Edward. I told you she's had this long held belief that you didn't feel for her the way she felt for you in high school. Now you've suddenly stripped her of that belief. She's got a lot to think about and re-examine now. Just give her a little time."

"Time," I repeated impatiently, "Give her time. Sure, sure," I snorted. "I mean, we've got all the time in the world, right?"

Alice didn't answer. My stomach rolled uneasily, because somewhere deep in my gut, I got the feeling that wasn't exactly true.

OOOOOOOOOO

The next night, the club was all decked out for Halloween. Huge glittery black spider webs hung from the ceiling, pumpkins carved with elaborate cut outs of Seattle skyline graced the darkened room and the large bar, the staff paraded in costume around the club; the girls had attached long black tails to their black boy short uniforms and short pointy ears over their heads, and the guys wore black muscle shirts with a bright orange pumpkin in the middle. Music pumped loudly from every corner as bodies moved rhythmically; everyone showed off hard bodies in skimpy Halloween costumes. Several pairs of eyes followed me through the dance floor, but I stayed clear of them all, looking straight ahead as I straightened out my tie and adjusted it around my neck. 'Leave me the fuck alone,' I muttered to myself. I wasn't in the mood for anyone's bullshit tonight.

As soon as I broke through the melee, Alec stepped away from behind the bar and made his way over to me.

"Edward, can I talk to you for a minute?"

I frowned impatiently. "What is it?" I hadn't seen or spoken to Bella in over forty-eight hours. My mood pretty much matched the dark atmosphere tonight.

Alec wrinkled his brow. His expression barely disguised the choice expletives he would've loved to hurl my way. And while I knew it wasn't Alec's fault that Bella was probably in New York City right now, dressed in some long-ass satin gown with her hair done up, sipping wine out of a crystal flute and walking hand in hand with Mike while _I_ spent Halloween night alone, I couldn't help the flare-up in my temper. I was about to ask him who the fuck he thought he was looking at like that, but then I reminded myself that Alec wasn't Mike. Beating the shit out of him wouldn't solve my problems, and would probably just add to them. I tried to remember that as I listened.

"I was wondering if you could talk to Victoria," Alec began, trying to talk over the blaring music, "I know she's management and all, but when she brings all her friends to the club and makes us comp them all drink after drink and then bitches at _us_ about our liquor receipts not matching our actual liquor consumption, I gotta say something."

"How much has she been having you comp?" I asked, more sharply than I'd intended to.

"She's got a crowd of friends here every night," Alec answered just as sharply. "And they drink from open to close, top shelf, no tips, non-stop. The last thing my bar team and I want is trouble with either you or her, but when _we're_ getting our ears chewed off every week about how poorly liquor sales are doing, and then she starts threatening to cut into our tips-"

"She threatened to cut into your tips?"

"Yeah," Alec said, his lip twisting up in disgust. "She said if liquor receipts don't improve, she's going to take any shortfalls out of our tips. Look, I don't want any trouble," Alec said warily, "I need my job. But my team and I don't think it's fair-"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me about this before, Alec?" I accused, running my fingers through my hair. "This is something you should've brought to my attention immediately!"

Alec's nostrils flared. "I was going to talk to Emmett about it but he hasn't been around for the past couple of nights."

No. Of course he hadn't been. He was too busy off fucking his girlfriend.

"And in case no one's ever told you," he continued, "you're not the most approachable man in the world."

I opened my mouth to tell Alec where he could stick it and what time to come pick up his last check, but then I closed my eyes and counted backwards to ten. My mood was not his fucking fault.

I took a deep breath. "I'll talk to Vicki."

Alec narrowed his eyes.

"I _said_ I'll talk to her."

He stared at me.

"Is that it, Alec?" I asked curtly.

"Yeah," he said, eyeing me warily. "Yeah. That's it."

He turned to walk away. I rolled my eyes and lifted a hesitant hand to his shoulder. Alec stiffened before turning around.

I lowered my hand back down awkwardly. "Alec, you tell your bar staff Victoria gets two drink comps a night. That's it. She says anything to any of you, you tell her to talk to me or Emmett." He nodded. "And…thanks…for letting me know what was going on." He gave me one more stiff nod and walked away.

When I walked into my office, I was greeted by a newspaper thrown in my face.

Victoria sat at my desk, dressed in second skin shiny black leather from neck to ankle. Her fiery red curls framed her face wildly, and long pointy cat ears stuck out from her head. Once, I would've probably stalked over to her and stripped all that leather off of her in two point five seconds. Now, I just glared at her.

"You seriously need to stop throwing shit at me when I walk into my office," I said, walking over to my mini-fridge and pulling out a water bottle.

She scowled at me. "Have you read this week's 'Seattle Underground?'" she screeched.

I chugged my water and smacked my lips together exaggeratedly when I finished. "No, but I bet there's something in there you're just aching to tell me about. So why don't you just go ahead. I've got a couple of things I'd like to talk to you about also," I said wryly.

She ignored my comment and slinked to where the paper lay on the floor with all the grace of a real life feline, picking it up and cracking it open with an audible whip.

"**Edward Cullen, co-owner of Downtown's Eclipse Club and Bar, Seattle's undisputed hot spot, showed us all last Wednesday that he's much more than just a pretty face as well as the successful King of the Seattle night life. Belting out tune after tune at close competitor 'Nitelock's' open mike night, Edward strummed a serious guitar and serenaded some lucky girl named 'Bella,' to whom he dedicated the entire set." **

"Oh-my-God-how-fucking-sweet," she purred, interrupting herself and laying one hand on her chest, batting her long, fake eyelashes in an exaggerated manner. I rolled my eyes.

"**Later Edward was joined by brother and Eclipse co-owner Emmett Cullen up on stage, as well as Nitelock co-owner Jasper Whitlock. Based on the reaction from the crowd, if these three young men's gigs as nightclub owners don't work out, they have a **_**very promising future as bandmates**_**! We don't know if and when Edward and company will be performing again, but I for one plan to be at Nitelocks for the next few Open Mike nights hoping and praying! I'm sure I'll see you all there!'**

She finished and glared up at me. "Well?" she screeched.

"Well what?" I asked evenly, gazing at my water bottle.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the scathing look she gave me. "If you wanted to break things off with me to go lick Bella's ass, that's your fucking loss, but don't you _dare_ put this club's success in jeopardy-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I chuckled humorlessly. "Who the hell is putting this club's success in jeopardy?"

"Do you even realize how much free publicity you just gave our biggest goddamn competitor?"

I pursed my lips. "Seriously Vicki, you take all this shit way too damn seriously. Besides, both clubs were mentioned in that article."

"Which club do you think everyone'll be heading to to catch another glimpse of the King of the Seattle nightlife serenading his beautiful Bella?" she asked, fisting her hands at her sides. "You have _no_ business hanging out at Nitelock, or playing open mike over there! I've worked too hard to make _this_ club Seattle's hot spot, and I'll be damned if I let you turn my club-"

I lifted my brows. "_Your_ club? You know, more and more I keep getting the feeling that you're a little confused as to who the fuck actually pays the bills up in here. Last time I checked it was me and Emmett's names on the lease, not yours."

She gave me a look as if she'd throw me in a pot of boiling piss if she could.

"How fucking dare you! After everything I've done for this club-"

"And I appreciate it. I really do. But you need to back up a bit. I will hang out, or sing, or fucking ponder the meaning of life wherever the hell I well please, and if it happens to be at Nitelock, then so be it." Her nostrils flared; her hands looked like they were just itching to scratch my eyes out. "You care about this club so much? How 'bout you stop bleeding the bar dry night after night and then refusing to pay up?" Her eyes widened. "Yeah, that's right," I smirked. "I know all about you comping your army of friends every night and then not even tipping the damn staff," I threw disgustedly. "From now on, you're going to stick to the two comp a night limit. You can drink'em yourself or give'em to your friends. I don't give a shit. But anything beyond two," I held two fingers up and turned them back and forth to make it clear, "you're paying for."

Victoria glowered at me, her smooth and sleek body vibrating as if she were about to explode into hundreds of pieces of black shiny leather and fiery red curls. She bared her teeth, and for a split second I thought she was going to fly through the air and bite my head off.

"Asshole!" she finally screeched, turning around and heading for the door, her long pointy heels click clacking loudly against the wood floor; her tail wagging back and forth.

"Two drinks," I reminded her with a self-satisfied smirk, just as she reached for the doorknob. "And don't forget to tip!" I called out.

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around slowly; a cold smile playing on the edges of her bright red lips.

"Tell me Edward. Did she at least fuck you after you sang your little heart out for her?"

The self-satisfied smirk melted away. I clenched my jaw tight and glared at her.

Victoria chuckled coolly. "You want me to tip? Here's a tip. Next time you wanna make believe you're Kirk Cobain _at least_ make sure your Courtney's willing to play the groupie." She sneered. "And don't look at me because this _pussy's_ outta here!"

She turned and sauntered out, shaking her long furry tail from side to side.

OOOOOOOOOO

The blood pounded between my ears, pulsating in tandem with the loud cacophony of blaring music surrounding me. The vibrations from the bass bounced off the walls and against my skull and jaw, reverberating through my whole body.

_Shit_, I thought to myself, as I made my way out of the club for some fresh air, I hadn't needed Bella to fuck me that night – though I sure as hell wouldn't have objected – but damn, an '_Edward, thank you for bearing your soul to me and I will keep that in mind when I make my final decision,_' would've been nice. Something. _Anything_ to show me it had meant something to her.

The club was teeming with bodies tonight. I looked around and snorted. No, the other night at Nitelock hadn't exactly worked out the way I'd hoped, but it hadn't done shit to negatively affect our business here. Swarms of people, both costumed and not, moved and gyrated against each other on the dance floor, hands grabbing and groping all over. On the edge of the dance floor, two girls, one brunette and one blonde, were busily grinding up against one another. They looked up at me through heavily made up eyes, smiling suggestively as their hips pressed tightly against one another's in a slow, seductive rhythm. I grinned back. For five seconds my feet stilled and I watched them; their perky nipples hard and stiff against their flimsy tops; thighs slick with sweat moving up and down in tandem; enticing. Their hands moved up and down each other's thighs, their skirts so short their tight asses peaked out every time they went down low. The dark haired one lifted one hand off of the other's thigh and reached out towards me, curling her index finger up in invitation.

It would be so easy to just put all this behind me and say, _'Fuck it. I gave it a try_.' Bella was in New York, partying it up with Mike, or as much as that tight-ass seemed to party. And I didn't have Vicki to worry about anymore…

I ran a hand through my hair, the girl's finger still beckoning me over, their eyes inviting and promising me anything and everything…

"Goddamnit," I growled, closing my eyes and fisting my hair so hard I saw more lights than just the one's overhead. _They_ weren't what I wanted; _who_ I wanted. _No one_ in this damn club was. I turned around and pushed my way through the crowd blindly. And then I collided with a warm body and a flash of heat suddenly coursed up my spine. My eyes suddenly met with a set of dark, beautiful eyes set in a pale, anxious face.

"Bella?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I was seeing things. For one, it was obvious I was slowly losing it here. For another, Bella was on the opposite coast, partying it up with a bunch of tight-assed assholes, wasn't she? And lastly and most importantly, Bella Swan would not wear what this goddess before me was wearing.

Would she?

My vision of Bella was currently sporting a long flowing white gown, more like a tunic, fastened at her waist with a wide gold belt. Her arms were bare except for three thin gold bracelets on either upper arm. The tunic left the space between her breasts, as well as most of her thighs and legs, exposed.

That was why I knew I'd lost my mind and _had_ to be seeing things.

Nevertheless, my mouth went dry. My eyes roamed up and down her body, even though I knew she had to be a figment of my imagination, and my sad, lonely dick, not knowing any better, twitched way north.

"Am I interrupting?" Bella asked loudly as the music pounded around us. Her eyes flashed behind me and she smiled mischievously, but I thought I detected some slight apprehension behind the vision's smile.

"What?" I asked, realizing that – holy hell – I wasn't seeing things and trying to snap out of my goddess-induced haze. I turned around quickly and realized she'd meant the dancing girls.

"No. No of course not." I yelled back so she could hear me.

And just like that, all the resentment that had slowly been building back up over the past couple of days melted away and was replaced with a raging hard-on the size of Texas.

"You guys sure cater to a skanky-ish sort of clientele up in here," someone mused loudly from Bella's left side. I forced my gaze away from the creamy space between Bella's breasts and looked up at Rose. She smirked at me knowingly, a huge blonde afro on the top of her head and a silk gold jumpsuit on her body.

"Seriously," quipped someone to Bella's right. Alice glittered like a real-life pixie fairy, frilly green tutu with wand and all. "I haven't seen so much skin since last week's episode of Jersey Shore." She flashed me a huge grin. "Hey Edward! We made it!"

I lifted my brows. "So you did. I didn't think any of you would."

My eyes moved to Bella, but she quickly looked down at her pretty, gold-sandaled feet.

"Well Jasper couldn't find anyone to watch the bar tonight, but we're here," Rosalie chimed in. "Emmett's looking around for you. Hey, wasn't it supposed to be a Halloween party? Where's your costume? Wait, let me guess," she snickered. "You're here as a brainless lady's man," she said dryly, her eyes flashing quickly to the two girls behind me.

"Hey Rose," I smirked. "Now that you and my brother are a thing, I guess you'll be showing some skin of your own down the halls of the Psych Department at UDub, huh?"

"Huh? What's that?" she asked, cupping an ear with one hand. "This boom-boom-pow you pass off for music's too loud. I completely missed what you said."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Alice giggled. Bella did nothing. She kept looking around the club nervously, avoiding my eyes. Eventually, her eyes came up to mine sheepishly, and she moved in close to my ear. And even with all the bodies crowding around us, her unique scent washed over me. The way she leaned over gave me an even better view of the space between her breasts. She shuffled her sleek legs nervously, making the tunic open up even wider and showing off even more leg. My dick was on its way to Canada.

Bella suddenly pulled back and looked up at me hopefully.

"What?" I mouthed, realizing I'd completely missed whatever she'd just said.

She moved in again, and this time I forced myself to focus. On her words.

She spoke loudly into my ear. "I said," – her breath fanned across my neck, and sweet Jesus, the stretchability of my pants was quickly being compromised – "can we go talk somewhere?" She backed away again, biting her lip nervously.

Focus Cullen. Focus.

I reached out and took her hand in mine, and suddenly she smiled sheepishly, and it was as if I could feel her anxiety lessen. She laced her fingers through mine and turned to Alice and Rose, leaning into them.

Rose nodded gingerly at whatever she said. "Alrighty. We'll hang out and chill." Her eyes suddenly opened wide and she cocked her head to the side, listening intently to the song the deejay had just started.

"Oh shit! I love this song!" She whipped her head in Alice's direction. "Hey Al? Wanna teach these skanks how it's really done?"

"You know I do," Alice agreed with a quick side-tilt of her sparkly head.

"This is for the dirty girls all around the world! Here we go!" Rose yelled, while Alice "woohooed!" And their asses started shaking and getting down before we could walk away.

Bella and I walked quickly through the crowd. When we reached the black door marked 'Employees Only' I pushed it and pulled Bella through. The muted sounds of bass and treble followed us upstairs, fading more and more with each step until they were only vibrations against the walls of my office. When I turned to close the door behind us, I wrapped my hand around the doorknob and paused, taking a deep breath. Bella stood against my desk, watching me anxiously when I turned around.

We took each other in for a few moments, neither of us exactly sure where to start.

"First I…I want to apologize for a couple of things," Bella finally said. She ran her hand nervously through her long, thick hair. "For one, I shouldn't have just shown up here without calling first, but…"

"You don't need to apologize for _that_," I told her honestly.

She grinned wryly. "But I _do_ need to apologize for something."

I raised my brows. "Not necessarily apologize. But explain, please."

She nodded slowly, gnawing furiously on the inside of her mouth. She looked down at her feet, and then her words poured out. "I shouldn't have just left the club like that the other night, but all of a sudden it hit me, what it meant, and it just became too much to deal with right then and there," she finished shakily.

I sighed loudly, taking a step closer to her. "I'm sorry if I took you by surprise, but-"

She shook her head and snorted, glancing up at me once quickly before looking down again. "By surprise is an understatement. I mean I'd…sort of gathered that…you liked me _now_…"

I took another step closer. "_Like_ you now? Bella, I think we're way past like."

She looked up at me anxiously, one of her sandaled feet tapping out a nervous beat against the floor.

"You could've told me," I said quietly, "that you had to sort some things out. You didn't have to run away from me."

She snorted and gave me a sad smile. "But apparently running from each other is what you and I do best." Her words were sharp, pointed, leaving no doubt what she was referring to. And just as quickly as she'd said it, her face morphed in distress.

"I suppose I deserve that."

She let out a defeated sigh and looked down again. "No Edward." She sighed. "Look, before we even get into that, I want you to know that…" – she drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly – "walking away the other night was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But…if I hadn't, I don't think I would've had the strength to…hold back anymore."

My heart pounded heavily, matching the beat of the muffled sounds coming from downstairs. I took one more step, leaving me just a few inches from her, close enough to take her chin in my hand and lift her eyes to me. "Maybe…you shouldn't hold back anymore," I breathed.

Her brown eyes bore deep into mine. I could see the turmoil swirling in her deep chocolate eyes. But I could also see the desire in them; the longing.

"I…" she started, before closing her mouth again.

I lifted two fingers to her cheek and stroked it carefully. "You what?" I whispered.

She started over. "The other night, when you…were up on that stage…I mean, Edward," she breathed, her shoulders sagging, "you have no idea…you're singing these songs and you're telling me that they're for me" - her words came out in rush – "and you're looking at me like…like you can see right _through_ me and your eyes are burning and your voice is so unbelievably smooth and rough all at once…and your fingers move so swiftly, so expertly over those strings," – her chest heaved up and down as she spoke; her cheeks flushed with a blush that traveled down her neck and disappeared into her tunic; her eyes were suddenly as black as onyx – "and your hair's falling over your eyes and the words your saying are words I've dreamt of and I can swear there's no one there but you and me and it's all _so_ _surreal_ and then…"

"Then what?" I brought my hands tentatively around her slim waist, curling my fingers into her sides, feeling the heat of her flesh through the thin tunic. My heart raced; my breathing came in erratic bursts. Bella's breathing was just as erratic as mine; her eyes were like two black blazing jewels. Our faces were suddenly so close that I could feel her sweet breath caressing my lips.

"Then when you stopped, I reached out for you and…"

"And what?" I asked, desperately tightening my hold on her. My eyes fell to her lips, so close I could practically taste them.

"And something on my hand caught the reflection from the overhead lights and when I looked down…it was my ring."

I winced. My hands dropped to my sides.

"I wanted to go to you Edward," she whispered in a pleading tone. "You have no idea how much I wanted…" she trailed off, gazing at me through deep, penetrating eyes that begged for understanding. "It took all my strength not to, but the ring-"

"The hell with the ring," I growled through clenched teeth, wrapping my hands tightly around her waist again. "_Take the goddamned thing off."_

"Whether I take it off or not, I'm _still_ engaged," she hissed.

I dropped my head in defeat. "You're killing me here," I muttered, running a hand through my hair.

"This isn't easy for me either," she said shakily. She went silent. When I looked back up at her, she was watching me apprehensively, biting her lip. "Edward…there's something I need to tell you." The look in her big brown eyes – so nervous and anxious – speared right through me, and suddenly all my frustration melted away. All I wanted was to take that distressed look away from her.

I lifted a hand to her creamy face, cupping her cheek, and smiled softly. "Bella, it's okay." She smiled back hesitantly, drawing in a shaky breath. I ran my thumb back and forth across her cheek, trying to soothe her. She looked so damn on edge. "Relax," I whispered. "You can tell me anything. Remember that, okay?"

She nodded carefully and took a deep breath. "Edward, back in New York, I-"

Two quick rasps on the door startled her and when we looked up, Emmett, dressed in a huge brown afro and a brown polyester suit, opened up and bounded in. He looked me up and down and frowned.

"There you are! Hey what the hell happened to the Travolta-in-Saturday-Night-Fever get-up you were supposed to wear tonight?"

I smirked and ignored his question. "Emmett do you mind, Bella and I are in the middle of something."

"Ooh, sorry," he chuckled. "I was just looking for you so that we could give out the night's costume awards. But if you guys are in the middle of something we can do it later."

"Thanks. Close the door behind you," I said quickly, turning my attention back to Bella.

Emmett grinned. "Right on man!" He gave me two thumbs up before he and his platform-shoe-wearing self started strut-dancing out the door.

"No!" Bella said quickly. Emmett froze, and I frowned at her. "No," she repeated more softly. She lifted both hands to my lapel and started smoothing it down. "Edward, we can talk later," she said quietly, and then lifted her big eyes to me, gazing at me through her eyelashes. "I'm not disappearing anywhere tonight. I promise," she whispered, and then smiled tenderly. "Go give away your awards."

I held her gaze for a moment longer and then lifted my hands to hers, lacing our fingers together. Ring or not, she didn't pull away. "Come back downstairs with me. As soon as the awards are done, we'll come back and finish talking." After not seeing her for the past two days, I was scared to let her out of my sight.

She hesitated for just a fraction of a second before grinning widely. "Sure."

We met up with Rosalie and Alice again, and before Emmett and I went upstage to present the awards, we left the three girls by the bar.

The night's awards were determined by vote. When we got to the award for best female costume, a woman dressed in a bright red short and tight firefighter's costume came up on stage. I handed her the award with a detached smile. Unfortunately, she was already three sheets to the wind, and when she reached out to take it from me she trailed her hand from the top of my chest all the way down to my stomach and would've kept going if I hadn't pulled back. Everyone in the crowd laughed and let out "ooohs" and hoots. I handed her the mike carefully, making sure to keep a safe distance this time. She took it slowly and batted her long fake eyelashes at me.

"Hey, wanna give me a real award?" she asked, her speech slurred and her footing uneven, "Why don't you use your hose to put out my fire!"

The crowd roared. I looked across the dark room at the bar and met Bella's gaze. She was watching me, sipping a drink from a straw, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Oh come on," firelady whined, throwing herself in my arms and reaching down to grope me. I picked her up and held her back again.

"Hey, cool off, alright?" I told her, loud enough for only her to hear.

"I told you how to cool me off," she laughed loudly. "Give me a squirt with that big hose of yours!" She went for my groin again.

This time I wrapped my hands around her arms firmly and gave her a push. "Get off."

"Oooh," the crowd jeered. I handed the mike to Emmett and got off the stage.

While Emmett finished giving out the awards, I worked my way through the crowd. As I neared the bar, it became apparent that there was some sort of argument going on. I broke through the crowd and found Alice and Rosalie glaring at Alec behind the bar.

"I had no idea she was going to give it to her!" Alec cried defensively.

"You goddamn buffoon! Hasn't your management told you not to serve that drink?" Rosalie yelled.

"She _is_ my management," Alec yelled back. "If I hadn't given it to her it would've been my ass on the line!"

Alice reached out for Alec angrily, grabbing his chest and fisting his black shirt in her hand. "Well guess what buddy? Now it _is_ your ass on the line, because when I'm through with you you're gonna wish-"

"Alice, Rose!" I yelled. "What the hell's going on here?" I looked around. "And where's Bella?"

Alice and Rose's eyes grew wide. They looked around the bar, their expressions turning into matching masks of horror when they realized Bella wasn't around.

"Oh shit!" Rosalie cried. "I'm going to go look for her." She looked at Alice. "You explain the situation to Edward." She jumped off her stool and started pushing her way through the crowd. "Out of my way! Out of my way!"

"What the hell is going on?" I roared.

Alice turned back to Alec, scowling; her small hand still fisted into his shirt. "This idiot bartender of yours served Bella the Gorilla Fart."

I froze. Alec closed his eyes.

"You. What?" I hissed.

Alec opened his eyes back up. "It wasn't me," he blurted quickly. "I mean, I served it yeah, but I thought it was for Victoria!"

I narrowed my eyes, my hands fisted at my sides. "For Victoria?"

"Yeah," Alec said sharply. "Victoria asked me to serve her the Gorilla Fart, and since she was still within her two drink comp limit, I didn't question it. Next thing I know she turns around and offers it to that pretty brunette you were talking to before."

I brought my fisted hands to my eyes. "Fuck!" I turned back to Alice.

"Where'd Bella go?"

"I don't know!" – she turned her eyes back to Alec momentarily and gave him a shove before standing up off the stool. "She's hardly eaten in days, and that goddamned drink's gonna go straight to her head, mark my words! And you do _not_ want to see a drunk Bella! Actually, maybe _you_ would," she smirked. "But-"

I didn't wait around to hear her finish. I turned around and pushed my way through the crowd. The Halloween awards over, the dance floor was packed again with bodies moving every which way. I scanned the room, searching for long brown hair and a flowing white tunic…

A warm hand landed on my shoulder from behind. I turned around quickly and was met by Bella's laughing eyes.

"Hey handsome," she said loudly. "How 'bout a dance?"

"Bella let's go-"

Before I could finish, Bella turned her back on me and shoved her nice pert ass up against my groin and proceeded to grind into me with a determination that almost knocked me to the ground. Her arms went up and around my neck; her fingers digging into my hair, and suddenly Bella started moving and swaying slowly to the music, and fuck, as much as I would've liked to say I was a gentleman, my dick stood at an attention that the most hardened drill sergeant would've been proud of, and pressed right against Bella's ass.

My legs weakened. Then Bella swerved around; a crooked smile playing on her beautiful lips. She swayed against me again, slowly and sensually fastening her hips to mine, her fingernails dragging along the nape of neck. I could practically feel the heat pulsating between her legs, and Jesus it took all my self-control not to press myself deeper into her then, because But Bella was obviously drunk. I had to think carefully now, which was a joke because every brain cell in my brain either died or took a vacation south when she pressed her entire body against mine so firmly that her soft breasts squeezed tightly against my chest, straining over her tunic dress and giving me a bird's eye view of their plump creamy tops.

_Mommy_.

"Well, well Mr. Cullen," she breathed against my jaw, looking up at me through glazed half-lidded eyes. "Is that a _huge_ pumpkin in your pocket, or are you just _extremely_ happy to see me?" And any decision whether to press myself into her suddenly became moot when Bella pulled me in closer and pressed her hips against me even tighter. All the breath left my lungs and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I struggled to hold back the load that was threatening to explode right there. I could feel her as plainly as if the only thing between us was a bed sheet, which was really all that tunic was. I dropped my head and groaned.

"Bella…"

"Edward," she murmured into my ear. "Move with me Edward. _Please_."

Apparently I'd been standing stock still, just trying to keep my legs from giving out under me. I swallowed thickly and curled my hands around her hips - the warmth of her skin burning me through the thin material of her tunic - and started swaying with her. Her eyes smoldered as our hips moved to and fro rhythmically against each other. Bella gazed at me intently and then moved her mouth close to my ear.

"_I wanna make love in this club. In this club. In this club. I wanna make love in this club…"_

_Holy. Hell_, she was quoting Usher. What the hell was _in_ that drink? The tent in my pants grew, and I knew it was just a matter of time before either my dick or my brain exploded. Probably both.

When the song changed midway I wasn't sure if I wanted to kill the deejay or give him a raise, because I'd been about half a second away from throwing Bella over my shoulder and booking it to my office. The beat abruptly quickened and Bella's swaying sped up with it. This was a completely different Bella Swan. Her hands were suddenly in her hair, and she was moving and swaying and going down. I wrapped my hands around her hips and went right down with her.

"_I still believe in your eyes,"_ she sang along with the old club song, _"I just don't care what you've done in your life."_

The way she looked at me made it hard to breathe.

"…_there is no choice I belong to your life. Because I'll live to hold you someday. You'll be my baby and we'll fly away. And I'll fly with you."_

She turned herself around and pressed her backside into me again. I closed my eyes and let out a huge gust of air through narrowed lips. I could feel her perfect ass acutely, plump and firm and _fuck,_ it was all I could do to keep from moving my hands to either cheek and ramming my dick into her. Bella reached up and back and wrapped her arms around me again. This time I brought my lips to her ear.

"_Every day and every night, I always dream that you are by my side…"_

She turned around again and held me firmly in her gaze, her hands trailing slowly down my arms, raising goosebumps against my flesh. Lower and lower they trailed, squeezing my hands when she reached them at her hips. But then she moved them to my hips, and with her eyes still firmly on mine, her hands started moving forward, ghosting against the fly in my pants.

With a clarity and control borne out of confusion more than anything else, I reached for her hands and brought them down to our sides.

"Bella, stop," I begged in a weak voice, rough and dry.

She lifted her mouth to my jawline and chuckled. "Why?"

"Because you're drunk, and this isn't you."

Her lips moved against my jaw when she spoke. "Of course it's me. It's just a freer me. Don't you want me to be free?" She pulled her hands from my grasp and brought them around my neck again.

I brought my hands up to hers again, grasping them tightly while my dick fought a battle of epic proportions with my mind. I pulled her arms off of me again.

"Bella, less than an hour ago you were pushing me away, giving me reasons why we couldn't do this now."

She struggled against me to lift her arms around my neck again. "That was then, this is now," she giggled, tickling my jaw with her breath. "Edward, I can be just as sexy as _all_ those other girls that must throw themselves at you night after night. Let me show you," she whispered roughly in my ear, and then I felt her hot, wet tongue on my earlobe.

All the blood in my body joined my brain cells on their vacation south. I gritted my teeth and somehow forced myself to pull her away gently, holding her arms firmly at our sides. "You're not like those girls Bella. Let me get Alice and Rose so we can take you home."

Bella pulled away abruptly, her nostrils suddenly flaring. She pulled her hands out from under mine forcefully. "Make up your mind Edward," she hissed loudly. "You either want me or you don't."

A flash of anger flickered inside me. "I could say the same to you," I spat back.

Her eyes flared. And abruptly, Alice and Rose appeared from behind me.

"Oh thank God you found her!" Alice said loudly. She looked between Bella and me and her eyes widened. "B honey, I think maybe we should get you home," she said carefully, reaching out for Bella's hand. But Bella pulled it away angrily.

"No!" She turned her furious gaze towards her best friend. "You're always telling me I need to let loose Al. Well that's exactly what I plan to do!" She turned her eyes back to me. "And if _you_ don't want to let loose with me, then I'll go find someone who does!" She turned her back on the three of us, and took one quick step before my arms reached out and wrapped around her back.

"That's enough Bella. I'm taking you home."

"No!" She turned herself around in my arms and struggled weakly against me, but she lost her balance and fell against my arms laughing. That caught the attention of a few of the people on the dance floor around us. We tried to guide Bella gently but firmly towards the exit. "No!" she yelled again, still laughing. "You can't tell me what to do! No one can!"

I gritted my teeth and tugged her more firmly, my irritation back again, but directed at the bitch who'd gotten Bella drunk in the first place.

And suddenly the bitch was right in front of me.

Victoria grinned widely, her white teeth gleaming brightly in the dim room.

"What's going on? Bella, are you okay?" she asked, her voice dripping with sweetness.

Bella ignored her question while she continued to struggle against Rose, Alice and me.

I spoke to Alice and Rose, but kept my eyes trained on Victoria. "Alice, Rose, get Bella outside. Emmett should be out there. I'll be out in a couple of minutes."

Alice and Rose glared at Victoria, but then turned and guided Bella towards the exit.

"You goddamned bitch," I growled, once the other women moved away. "What were you doing giving Bella the Gorilla Fart?"

She stared back at me innocently. "Hey, I stuck to my two drink limit." She put two fingers up in my face the way I'd done to her a little over an hour ago, turning them around and around in front of me. "And you said I could do whatever I wanted with them. Drink'em or give'em to a friend. So," she shrugged, "I gave'em to a friend."

I'd had enough of Victoria. She was lying, stealing and cheating my club, and now she'd not only endangered one of our customers with a drink she knew I didn't like served in here, but that customer happened to have been Bella.

"You're fired," I snarled through clenched teeth.

Victoria blanched, the contrast of her bright red hair against her white face making her look like a deranged monster.

"What?" she spat.

"You heard me. Get your shit out of my office and get the fuck out. I'll mail you your last check."

She shook her head slowly from side to side, her hands fisted against her waist. "You've got to be fucking joking me," she chuckled roughly.

A few people around us noticed the argument and stopped to listen. "Do I fucking look like I'm joking?" I said sedately. "Don't make a scene and just go."

She glared at me in disbelief, and as I was about to turn around, she chuckled.

"You ungrateful asshole," she laughed bitterly. "Without me, you and your dufus brother would be running a seedy little hell-hole-in-the-wall like your buddy Jasper Whitlock's little rat shack downtown."

More people stopped to look. Their heads whipped back and forth between Victoria and me.

"Do me a favor and watch how you talk about my brother and my friends." I turned my back on her.

"You had so much potential Edward!" she yelled, as I walked away. "You and I could've gone really far together! I could've taught you everything I know about running a successful business-"

I turned around one last time. "What," I snorted, "like how to get a crowd of your friends to leach off of other people's hard work? Or how to get innocent people drunk out of their minds?"

She sneered at me. "You're going to regret this. Mark my words."

I smirked and turned back around towards the exit, anxious to get Bella home.

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><p><strong>Do you have a favorite 'I'm gettin' drunk' drink?<strong>

**Reviews are almost as good as grinding against Edward in a dark club. Little secret: You want quicker updates? Leave reviews. They inspire a writer to write faster.**

**Gorilla Fart: Is basically a mixture of all sorts of liquors when the bartender takes the mat he's been using all night to mix drinks, and puts all those leftovers in a glass. Highly intoxicating and nausea inducing.**


	18. Chapter 17 Adventures in Babysitting

**A/N: I know lots you want to know what Bella was going to tell Edward before Emmett interrupted. All questions will be answered **_**very, very**_** soon. Don't worry. One more chapter of semi-sorta-fluff, because the next few chapters will be nail-biting (I think. :) )**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing around with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 17 – Adventures in Baby Sitting<strong>

**Chapter Song Rec:**

_**Collide**_** by Howie Day**

Steady rain fell from the dark Seattle sky when I made my way outside. Emmett had left the job of admitting people to Demetri, and stood under the canopy with Rosalie and Alice, and Bella tucked in between them. She was resting her head on Emmett's chest when I reached them, and his arm was wrapped around her waist, supporting her weight. Her legs shifted unsteadily back and forth.

"Man, our girl Bella here is a lightweight," Emmett snickered.

Rosalie punched him in the arm. "That bitch Victoria tricked her into drinking the Gorilla Fart!" She turned furious eyes my way. "I hope you told the bitch off," she hissed in a warning tone.

"Victoria's been taken care of." I turned to Emmett. "I'm taking Bella home. Do me a favor and make sure Victoria's out of the club in half an hour. If she's not, call me."

Emmett frowned questioningly.

"I fired her."

A huge smile broke out over his face, making his dimples appear. He threw his fist in the air. "Oh yeah! The wicked witch is gone baby!"

I reached for my car keys in my pocket and turned my eyes towards Bella. Her hair had fallen over her face, covering her eyes. I smoothed it away.

"Bella, are you ready to go?" I asked quietly. She mumbled something unintelligible, and then her legs completely gave out under her.

"Oomph!" Emmett chuckled, holding her up. I quickly slid one arm under her back and the other under her legs and picked her up. She felt as light as a feather.

"Let's go," I said to Rosalie and Alice.

"I'm going to stay here," Rosalie said, "and help Emmett take out the garbage." Her eyes sparkled mischievously.

I couldn't be bothered to care what that meant. All I cared about was getting Bella home and rested.

"Whatever. Just don't do anything that'll bring down the cops."

"Oh, don't worry about that," she grinned.

I jerked my head towards Alice and started to walk off. "Come on Shorty."

"Actually," Alice said hesitantly, "I was going to meet up with Jazz tonight once he closed up. Do you think you can handle her on your own? 'Cause if not I can just see him later tomorrow," she added quickly.

I shook my head. "I've got her Shorty."

Alice moved in close to me, her eyes uncertain. "But you won't, I mean…you wouldn't…"

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, I'm not that much of an asshole."

Alice narrowed her eyes and studied me carefully. "Yeah, okay," she smirked. She turned to Bella and lifted her head off my shoulder. Bella's eyes barely opened. "Bella honey, Edward's gonna take you home now so you can get some sleep okay?"

"Okay," Bella mumbled before plopping her head back down on my shoulder. Alice could've told her we were being attacked by a horde of zombies and she would've gotten the same response.

Fifteen minutes later I parked in front of the girls' loft. I turned the ignition off and looked over at Bella. She'd slept through the short car ride home, and was now snoring softly in the passenger seat next to me. Her Greek goddess tunic had shifted in her sleep, and half of one breast peeked out shyly from underneath, swelling over the flimsy material in the most tantalizing way. Her shapely legs and thighs had also come uncovered on the ride home, and lay there creamy and smooth, begging to be touched.

I swallowed thickly and closed my eyes, groaning quietly to myself.

"She's drunk Edward," I murmured to myself. "Stop checking her out when she's drunk." Still, I couldn't help opening up one eye and sneaking one more peek. I groaned again quietly. "Fuck, this is so wrong."

I sighed heavily and walked over to her side of the car, pulling her out carefully and making an honest effort of readjusting her tunic when her breast threatened to make a complete showing. Jesus Christ, was this some sort of cosmic joke on me? _Somebody_ had to be out there watching this and having a great old chuckle in my name.

I carried her up to her loft, averting my eyes as much as possible; but all the time her breasts and legs were _right there_ in my periphery. When I unlocked the door with the keys Alice gave me, Jake came bounding out of Bella's room. We both froze.

Jake tilted his head to the side and eyed me questioningly, his dark eyes jumping to the bundle in my arms. His eyes narrowed and a low growl erupted from deep in his throat. His eyes moved jumpily from me to Bella, his beautiful master, lying dead to the world in my arms. His snarls grew grew steadily louder and he stalked over to me slowly, menacingly.

'_I'm gonna rip you a new asshole, fucker.'_

"Jake" - I warned carefully, not daring to move - "Relax Jake. Bella's just sleeping."

He wasn't having it. His long pointy teeth made an appearance, and he gave me a warning bark, his tail sticking straight out in the back. And though I admittedly didn't know much about dogs, I knew that couldn't be good.

"Jake!" I hissed, bending my knees and _slooowly_ kneeling. "She's fine," I murmured as gently as possible. "Come here boy. Take a look at her."

He studied me distrustfully, his black eyes shining, and then slowly, hesitantly, Jake moved closer. When he reached Bella in my arms, he looked down at her adoringly, and then sniffed her. His eyes moved back up to me, narrowed and suspicious, and then went back down to Bella. Then he licked her face and abruptly his stiff tail loosened up and he wagged it from side to side. When he was done, he licked my hands.

"See? I told you she was okay." Jake's tail wagged faster in response.

He followed me all the way to Bella's bedroom. I lay her down gently on her bed over her covers, and then straightened up.

I'd never been in Bella's bedroom. I took a long minute to look around. The room was painted a soft green. A flat screen TV sat on one edge of a pretty whitewashed dresser, and a bunch of paints and pencils and all sorts of art implements graced the rest of the dresser's top. A big armoire faced her full-sized bed, next to which lay a big window which faced the river, and next to the window was a large easel. The easel itself was carefully covered with a sheet, and a comfortable-looking chair with a leather seat cover sat opposite it. But what made me smile were the paintings she'd hung around her room.

Bella had decorated her walls with nothing other than her 'Windows' collection. Three different versions of it covered three different walls, and those were the only pieces of her work on display in here. The pictures displayed various shades of green swirled in similar yet distinct patterns in each painting, so that they created a sameness that was somehow unique in each one. Yet as singular as each one was, they were all equally beautiful. I took a deep breath and looked back down at the artist.

Bella was fast asleep, and Jake sat on his hindquarters at the foot of her bed, guarding her, panting quickly and his tail wagging.

"You love her, don't you?" I asked him. He moved his gaze from her and looked up at me, his long tongue hanging out of his mouth.

"Yeah, I know you do," I muttered. "That's why you give me such a hard time." I went and knelt down in front of him. This time his eyes were less wary and more curious.

"I'm glad you want to take care of her," I whispered, stroking his furry back. I moved close to his big floppy ear. "But let me let you in on a little secret. I do too." I pulled away, watching him.

He gazed at me, tilting his head to the side. And suddenly he licked my face.

"Ugh!" I chuckled, wrapping my hands around his face and pulling him off firmly. "Alright, alright, we'll both look after her. No need to seal the deal with your spit." He stared at me, wagging his tail happily. I chuckled and got up.

Since Bella was knocked out, I took another look around the room. Her easel was covered with a white sheet, but the sheet seemed to be shifting to the right and slowly falling off. I walked over and lifted it carefully to straighten it out, and as I did, the sheet slid off of the easel completely.

I gasped.

The first time Bella and I had gone down to the waterfront, the day she'd been upset about not getting the job she'd interviewed for, it had been raining heavily. Eventually the sun had come out while we'd been on the ferry to Bainbridge Island, and had painted a rainbow in the sky filled with dozens of colors - a sight I still remembered with awe.

Bella was painting that moment.

In her painting, I was standing against the railing, gazing out at the rainbow in the grey sky, murky waters surrounding us. The entire painting was done in various shades of grey. Except for two things. The rainbow, and my eyes.

My eyes swirled with different shades of green; bright and shining, the way I'm sure they must've looked when I gazed at her. But as I took a closer look at the eyes, something flashed in my memory. I took a step closer-

"Edward?" Bella asked, pushing herself up on her elbows and peering at me through still-unfocused eyes.

I covered the painting back up quickly, and walked over to the bed, kneeling at the foot. I took one of her feet in my hands and started unclasping her sandal. "Shh, go back to sleep," I whispered.

She threw her head back against the pillow. "Whoa," she chuckled. "The room's spinning round and around and around and around…"

"It'll stop spinning as soon as you close your eyes," I said, unclasping the other sandal. Her feet felt soft and smooth, and her toes were painted a bright red. My brain was suddenly filled with an image of her big toe in my mouth. I got up.

Bella closed her eyes for four seconds and then opened them back up. "Nope, that didn't work," she giggled.

I chuckled. "Keep them closed longer and I promise you, it'll work." I turned to walk out of her room, Jake at my heels.

"Where are you going?" she called out anxiously, supporting her weight on her elbows.

"Relax," I said, smiling at her, "I'll be outside in the living room."

Her eyes grew wide and anxious and she sat up. "You're not leaving right?"

I shook my head slowly and sighed. "I'm not going anywhere Bella unless you tell me to."

She stared at me through glazed eyes, and then lay back down.

Outside in Bella's living room, I carefully removed my shirt, unbuttoning each button with the precision of a surgeon. My shoes came off slowly, deliberately, first one, then the other. Outside, the rain continued to fall heavily. Every couple of minutes, flashes of light illuminated the loft, bathing everything in a luminescent glow and followed by thunder erupting from somewhere far off, rolling like a low groan in the sky. I pulled my socks off and folded them up and into each other with a meticulousness my mother would've been proud of. All this as my mind struggled to understand what my eyes had seen on Bella's easel.

The eyes in that painting – I'd seen them before. In the mirror every morning, yeah, but somewhere else too…

I stood up and quickly walked to the hallway, my bare feet silent over the cool tiled floor. Only one of Bella's paintings was still hanging out here. I snorted, remembering what Bella told me about Alice taking down all her work so she could hang them all at Nitelock. Fortunately for me, the one painting I'd been looking for was the one remaining.

Windows.

It was the same shades of green, swirled in the same way, though bigger than they'd been in the painting I'd just seen on the easel and in the smaller paintings in her room.

Windows.

'_Edward your eyes are like windows…'_

'_Edward, your eyes have always been like clear windows…'_

My eyes.

Jesus, all these years. She'd been painting my eyes all these years.

My heart pounded loudly between my ribs. I ran a shaking hand through my hair and stared at the painting, scared and desperate all at once to grasp the meaning of that.

A loud thump from Bella's bedroom broke my concentration. Jake immediately got up from where he'd been lying on a pillow by the sofa and bounded over, barking. I followed him quickly.

When I reached Bella's bedroom, she was sprawled out on the floor next to her bed, her tunic tangled up around her arms and head, her legs and thighs completely uncovered, pretty white lace panties peeking out from between them.

I froze and swallowed thickly.

Bella looked up at me and giggled. "Help!" she laughed, wriggling around helplessly in her tunic and tangling herself even more. "I've fallen and I can't get up!" She burst out into fits of laughter.

I walked over to her slowly, every extremity in my body shaking. "Bella, what are you doing?" When I knelt down to take a look at what she'd done to herself, I caught a peak of the white lacies again. I gritted my teeth and tried to cover her back up.

"Stop Edward!" she moaned. She pushed my hands away and tried to lift the tunic over her head, only succeeding in tangling herself up even more and flashing me her bare and toned midriff.

Bella was an inney.

I suppressed a whimper and fisted the tunic in my hands, trying to pull it back over her head. She grabbed my wrists and tried to push it off again.

A wrestling match of sorts ensued, both of us with opposing objectives: Bella wrestling to take her tunic off – and me desperately fighting with her to keep it on. Jake appeared next to us, wagging and panting and moving from one side to the other as he tried to figure out why his Bella and I were wrestling on the floor – and whose side to take. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had the clear-headedness to realize how totally insane this was; all I'd dreamt of for the past few weeks – the past few years if I was being honest – was having a naked Bella in my arms, and here I was, fighting against that picture.

And then her white lace strapless bra made an appearance from somewhere between the tangled tunic.

I dropped my head and groaned lowly. For the love of all that's holy, how much is a young, red-blooded American expected to take?

I drew in a deep breath and stopped, firmly pulling her fighting arms down to her side. "Bella, wait, wait, wait, time out!" I took another deep breath. "What exactly are we doing here?" I asked breathlessly.

"I don't know what _you're_ doing, but I'm trying to get this thing off so I can get my jammies on! I can't sleep in this thing and I'm getting all tangled!" She jerked her head towards the bed, where a white tank top and shorts peeked out from under her pillow.

_Aah_.

"Alright," I panted, having a hard time breathing. "Alright. I'll help you get this off," my eyes flashed unavoidably to her almost bare torso and quickly back up to her face, "and those on, and then you need to get to sleep, okay?"

"Ohhhkey-dokey," she giggled.

Pressing my lips together tightly to suppress the moans and groans that were fighting to erupt from my chest, I helped Bella untangle herself and then carefully lifted the tunic over her head, taking care that my hands didn't accidentally rub up against her boobs, because I knew that would be my breaking point. As soon as the tunic was off, Bella fisted it between her hands and crumpled it up before flinging it against the opposite wall. Jake's eyes followed the flying tunic, his head turning to watch it slide down the wall.

"What a relief!" she quipped, sitting on the floor in nothing more than her lacy bra and panties. "Alice and her great ideas." She rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself. Or at least that's what I think she said and did. I couldn't be sure. The air supply to my brain had been cut off, and all the blood in my body had pooled down to one extremity. I couldn't think, much less hear.

Bella lifted her eyes to mine as she sat there unabashed. She bit her lip and grinned. I gulped audibly and quickly reached over for Bella's t-shirt and shorts before I turned what I'd said to Alice about not being that much of an asshole into one Big. Fat. Lie.

"Come on, let's get your stuff on," I whispered roughly, and then added, "_before I change my mind,_" under my breath.

I pulled her t-shirt over her head and guided her arms through the armholes. Thankfully, she cooperated. I handed her the shorts and let her take care of that, because no matter how much I was trying to behave myself, there was no way in bloody hell I was going to be able to manage pulling those up instead of down. I averted my gaze as she tugged them on.

"Better?" I asked, once she was dressed again.

"I suppose," she sighed, playing with the bottom edges of her tank top. She lifted her eyes to me. "Thanks Edward."

I managed a weak smile. "Okay. Now get back in bed and get to sleep." I picked her up by her arms and guided her back into her bed, bringing the covers over her. She gazed at me through still glazed, unfocused eyes. I shook my head and kissed her forehead and began to walk away, when a huge bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, and the resulting thunderbolt made the entire building shake.

Bella screamed and then started laughing. Jake bolted onto the foot of Bella's bed, lying down with a whimper and covering his eyes with his long ears.

"Edward, get in bed with me!"

_For the love of all that's holy._ "Bella, you need to get to-"

She sat straight up. "Please Edward." She patted the bed next to her. "Stay with me. Help me count the thunder-" – another bolt of thunder sounded overhead and Bella jumped, wide-eyed and giggling – "Come on!" she insisted. "Charlie taught me to measure how far away the storm is! Let's count the seconds between the thunder and lightning!"

"Bella, I don't think-" – I started, but Jesus, she looked so beautiful in the middle of her bed there, her hair all wild and sticking up in twenty different directions, brown eyes huge and sparkling, creamy arms and shoulders so soft and silky looking, so warm and comfortable under her white goose down. I sighed.

"Okay," I said, walking slowly back towards her bed, "we'll count for a few minutes, but then you really need to get to sleep, or your head's going to be killing you in the morning."

"Yes, master," she taunted in a sultry voice.

"You are so drunk," I chuckled, shaking my head and sitting down next to her.

"Yeah, yeah," She dismissed the idea with a wave of her hand. Then she lay back down, pulling on my arms to bring me down with her.

"Bella-"

"Come on! Get under the covers!"

How could she not know what she was doing to me?

I swallowed thickly and said a silent prayer to the gods of self control and lay down under the covers, making sure no part of my body touched any part of hers. But _Jesus_, the warmth just radiated off of her body. Bella lay facing me, her hands clasped together and folded right under her cheek and under her pillow. I mimicked her pose at the other end of the pillow, my body stiff as a board under the covers. Her mouth turned up in a huge grin that lit up her whole face. I grinned back at her, my heart racing in my chest. A flash of lightning lit up the room.

"Ready?" Bella asked excitedly. "Count!"

And that's how we spent the next twenty minutes; counting the seconds between lightning and thunder, until the lightning grew scarce, and the seconds between it and the thunder greater and further in between. Jake would whimper after every bolt of thunder, from the foot of the bed, where he lay warming our feet, and Bella would reassure him quietly. But as the storm passed, Jake's whimpers died down, and soon he was snoring at our feet.

"That was fun!" Bella giggled, once the storm had passed.

"Yeah. It was," I smiled. Somewhere in the middle of our Thunder Counting game my body had loosened up and I'd managed to relax. "I don't think I've ever heard you giggle so much in my life."

"That's 'cause I'm _soooo_ happy tonight!"

"Why are you so happy?" I chuckled.

"Why do you think silly?" she asked. I gazed at her. "Because you're here with me," she answered herself.

I closed my eyes. How was it possible for a heart to soar and ache all at once?

"Do you know how long I've wanted you here with me like this?" she went on. "Lying next to me, talking with me, listening to the rain with me. I think of you all the time Edward." Her words poured out openly, without a trace of guilt or shame or hesitancy.

It was the alcohol talking. Of course I knew it. But had it simply loosened her tongue, or blurred her feelings along with her senses? Because Jesus I longed for all those words to be true, but I wanted to hear them when she was sober, not when she was tanked. And I knew it wasn't right to let her keep going on like this, when she might say something that, one way or another, she'd regret when she sobered up.

"Bella love," I murmured, "you're pretty drunk. Go to sleep and we'll talk in the morning."

"No!" Her pretty lips puckered up into a pout, and it was all I could do not to lean over and kiss them. "I don't want to go to sleep!"

"You're drunk and-"

"I'm drunk, I'm drunk, I'm drunk," she yelled in exasperation. "I don't care! I don't care that I'm drunk! I _like_ being drunk! It stops me from thinking." She closed her eyes and smiled. "I should really get drunk more often," she mused. "I can't think, and all I know is that I want to be with _you_, and I can't remember why I shouldn't. And I _like it like that!_" she said stubbornly, opening her eyes and giggling again.

I fisted my hands under the pillow, fighting the overwhelming urge to reach out and wrap my arms around her and plunge my tongue deep into her mouth right then and there. I could almost taste her already. And I knew she wouldn't object this time; not like she had back in my office a couple of hours ago. She _wanted_ me to. She'd basically just said it. And if she hadn't just said it, it was in the way she was looking at me; her dark eyes burning.

But she was drunk. Nothing she said in this condition counted, no matter how much they may have been things I'd been dying to hear.

"Shh," I soothed her gently. "Close your eyes and go to sleep. When you wake up again and you're sober, we'll talk."

She closed her eyes slowly. "When I close my eyes Edward, all I see is you behind my lids."

I squeezed my eyes closed, sighing deeply. She was killing me here.

"I see your smile," she continued softly, "I see the way half of your mouth twitches up when you're being a smart ass, I see the way the light always catches your hair, illuminating every strand, the bronze the reds the browns until it looks like you've got a bright fiery halo wrapped around your head. _I can see your halo, halo, halo_-" she started singing. "I know, I know," she grinned. "I'm drunk. I _must_ be drunk to be singing that."

I chuckled and opened my eyes. Hers were still closed so I took the chance to study her. She was the one that looked like an angel. Her perfectly flawless creamy skin, so clear and radiant. Her lips twitched up at each end in a soft, dreamy smile. And like the man I was, my eyes fell to her chest. I mean, it was right there, and the very top of her breasts were strained tightly together by the way she was lying on her side. I repressed a groan.

"But most of all," she went on, "when I close my eyes I see your eyes. In colors I can't even begin to replicate, no matter how hard I've tried. I've never been able to capture-"

Her eyes suddenly popped open. I quickly lifted my eyes back to her face.

She smiled crookedly. "Hey, did you peak?" she asked in a teasing tone.

My eyes grew wide and I felt my face burn.

"Uhm I've been trying not to. I swear. But I'm only human."

She smiled softly. "It's okay. I was going to give them to you soon anyway. They've always been yours."

I almost choked on my saliva.

"So did you like them?" she asked with a hopeful expression.

"I…I love them. I mean-"

"Really?" Her voice was full of excitement. "What do you like best about them?"

I swallowed thickly. "Everything."

She rolled her eyes. "You've got to give me specifics, Edward. Do you like the shapes, colors, texture?"

"I swear, I didn't touch them."

"It's okay. You can touch them. They won't break," she chuckled.

"Bella, I can't. Not like this."

"Edward, they're yours. You can do whatever you want with them."

I blinked wildly, my hands twitching under the pillow.

"They're what I see when I look at you."

What?

I frowned. She smiled patiently.

"They're your eyes. They're all the colors, all the emotions I see in your eyes," she whispered.

Her paintings. She was talking about her paintings of my eyes.

"It got hard to paint them after a while, because I hadn't seen you in so long. And my memory just wasn't good enough." She closed her eyes softly. "But now…now when I close my eyes at night after I've spent time with you, they're _so_ clear, and I can almost do them justice." She opened her big brown eyes back up, boring into mine.

"Bella…" I said shakily

Bella pulled her hands out from under her pillow and wrapped them around my face, her thumbs caressing me gently. "You are _so_ beautiful Edward."

I swallowed, holding her gaze. "No Bella. You're beautiful. You're all I'll ever-"

She went on as if she hadn't heard me. "And I don't just mean physically. Though I'd have to be blind not to see how friggin' hot you are," she grinned crookedly. I smiled sheepishly. Her face grew serious, and she pulled one of her hands off of my face and brought it down to my chest, laying it flat over my heart.

"I mean inside. You're beautiful inside."

I drew in a shaky breath, letting it out slowly. "How…" - I breathed deeply – "You don't know what I look like on the inside."

She smiled tenderly. "I do know," she said with certainty. "I see it all in your eyes. I've been lost in those eyes since the first moment I looked into them."

"Ditto," I breathed. "Bella, I dream of you…all the time."

"I dream of you too," she murmured. "I dream of you…and of me…and of us…" Her face suddenly flushed crimson. She swallowed and smiled sheepishly.

We lay there, gazing in each other's eyes, for a long time. And then with her hand still on my face, Bella stroked her fingers along my cheek, down and along my jawline, trailing down my neck, and over my Adam's apple, which bobbed up and down nervously. Her eyes followed the movements of her fingers, softly tracing every part of my face. Slowly, her fingers moved back up, over my jaw once again. She started tracing my lips with two fingers, around and around. Her eyes fell to my lips, and she licked her own lips carefully.

I lifted a hand and my fingers started circling along her lips too. She closed her eyes and puckered her lips, kissing my fingers softly, and then I felt her sweet tongue tentatively against my fingers, and I was sure I'd explode right there.

I was hopelessly lost; as drunk on her as she was on that drink she'd had. I looked helplessly between her eyes and her lips.

"Bella, you're drunk," I whispered hoarsely, trying to snap some sense into one of us.

She chuckled once, her eyes still closed. "I know." Suddenly, her eyes popped open, dark, determined and smoldering.

"Am I?"

I swallowed. "Aren't you?"

We gazed at one another, and then her eyes fell back down to my lips. Slowly, our mouths moved closer…

Her eyes popped wide open and she jerked her head back suddenly, a look of total horror crossing her face. I froze, and before I could begin to imagine what had gone through her mind, Bella covered her mouth with both hands and jumped out of the bed, running straight for the bathroom. The next thing I heard was the toilet being thrown open and then the unmistakable sound of someone wretching heavily into the toilet.

I threw my head back against the pillow. "Yeah, you are."

I allowed myself one second of disappointment before I ran into the bathroom after her.

I found Bella kneeling against her toilet, holding her hair up with one hand and hugging the base with the other, heaving over and over. Kneeling down behind her I held her hair up for her, gently running my other hand across her back.

"It's okay," I said soothingly. "You'll feel better now."

"Oh Edward," she moaned miserably, before her head jerked forward and into the toilet once again. I sat behind her, feeling useless and unable to do anything other than hold her hair back and rub her back soothingly.

"Shh, just get it all out and you'll feel better."

Bella threw up over her toilet for fifteen minutes, and just as I began to panic and wonder if I should take her to the hospital, she sat back heavily on her bottom and rested the back of her head against my chest. We sat there quietly for a few minutes to make sure she'd gotten it all out of her system, literally, and then with slow, exhausted movements Bella stood up and moved to the sink. She brushed her teeth and washed her face. I stayed with her to make sure she was okay. When she was done, she turned around and smiled up at me weakly, her eyes opening and closing with exhaustion. I picked her up and carried her back to her bed. She was too out of it to complain.

When I lay her down and turned to leave, she opened her eyes once more.

"Edward, stay with me, please," she pleaded, her voice hoarse from all the vomiting she'd just done.

There was no way I could ever deny her, especially when it was something I craved so much myself. I turned around and carefully climbed back into bed with her. She gazed at me quietly, her breathing slow and even. And then wordlessly she turned herself around and spooned herself into me. My arms automatically went around her, reveling in the feel of having Bella in my arms, so soft and warm. No, I couldn't deny my physical reaction to her closeness. I went hard as rock the second her bottom touched my groin. Yet it was so much more than that. I felt _happy_. I felt at _peace_. I knew no matter what else, if the world ended right now, I would die _fulfilled_.

Bella sighed deeply, snuggling herself deeper into me. I tightened my hold around her. Her hands came up to mine and she laced her fingers with my own. We were quiet for a long time, and after a few minutes, I was sure Bella had fallen asleep. I dug my face into her hair and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply and smelling strawberries and shampoo and the scent that was only and entirely _her_.

"I've made a mess of things Edward," Bella murmured, surprising me. "But I didn't know. I didn't know you and I would…meet again and fall…" she trailed off and nestled deeper into me.

I kissed her hair. "Shh, go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

She was quiet again for a long time.

"I'm going to fix it all Edward. And then maybe…." She trailed off once more.

I wondered if she was still drunk. If come daylight she'd remember the things she'd said in the dark of night.

I wondered what fixing things meant.

I didn't ask her to finish her sentence. She didn't need to. I had all the answers I needed right then and there, between my arms.

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><p><strong>AN: I know, I know. So close. Well, I think we've taken the UST thing as far as it can go at this point, don't you? We'll have to do something about that!**

**Reviews? Horrible hangover stories?**

**Couple of things.**

**I may be going away next week (again, I know). I'll try to update early in the week, but can't guarantee anything. **

**Also, a few of you have asked me what my next story is about. I've got a couple of chapters for two different stories written out, so I have to pick which one will go first before I say anything. One involves knights and princesses (I've been reading Game of Thrones!), the other involves one feisty girl with a secret past, a young doctor and an undercover FBI agent. Let me know if you have any preferences.**

**See you soon! **


	19. Chapter 18 Revenge of the Nerds Part II

**A/N: Alright guys. I've survived three separate natural disasters in one week. An earthquake, a hurricane and flooding. Yet still, I'm posting this tonight. I think that merits some serious reviews from you guys!**

**It's been a while, I know. But between the kiddies home for summer break and the above-mentioned disasters, it's been a hectic few weeks. I know I haven't been able to answer reviews lately either. But things seem to be calming down now, so review away! :)**

**Long chapter below to hopefully make up for the long wait. **

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 18 – Revenge of the Nerds Part II<strong>

Bella's dark burning eyes gazed up at me, opening and closing with languid lust. Her long eyelashes fluttered over heated cheeks, while sweet moans and desperate whimpers escaped from her swollen lips. Her head writhed from side to side, every deep thrust lifting her back higher off of the mattress.

"More Edward," she panted breathlessly. "Harder. Faster."

I snaked one arm under her back to bring her closer to me, and held myself up with my other arm. When I pushed myself inside deeper, Bella wrapped her legs tightly around me, digging her heels into my back. My thrusts inside her quickened and she moaned again, arching her back and raising her hips to meet me thrust for thrust.

"Yes, Edward. God_ yesss,_ just like that_." _She licked her lips. "Oh Edward_. Oh. Ohhh."_

Both of our naked bodies lay slick with perspiration; heated and tangled. But it was nothing compared to the scorching fire between Bella's legs, making me push into her faster and faster with an overwhelming need for more friction; more heat; more _her_. My muscles coiled and tensed, like a lion ready to spring. Primitive instincts guided my movements. Base, feral thoughts ruled my mind.

_Bella._

_Mine._

_More._

_Need. _

_Want. _

_More._

"Jesus Bella," I breathed, bringing my mouth down to hers where our tongues met and tangled urgently. She moaned again and whimpered, and then pulled away to kiss and lick my neck, biting down with desperation as another cry erupted from her.

"Edward," she panted, her warm breath caressing my wet neck, "So good…_mmm…ohhh_."

"Damn it Bella you feel too goddamned good," I breathed against her heated skin, pumping faster. "I can't hold off much longer baby. I'm gonna come soon." I lowered my head and sucked on her erect nipples, first one then the other, before taking her breast into my mouth and fighting the overwhelming urge to bite down _hard._

"_Ungh, Edward! Yes Edward. Yesss_…_so…ohhh…_"

With one hand still behind her back, I lowered my other hand to where we were joined and found her soft wet spot, swollen and tender and slippery. I ran my finger over it, around and around in a circular motion. Bella cried out and arched her back even higher.

"Oh Jesus Edward! _Ahh. Ohhh!"_

"Come for me Bella," I hissed against her lips, my hips gyrating against hers quicker and quicker. "I want to feel you come all around me."

"Edward! Please Edward!"

She lowered her hands to my ass and pulled me in closer, deeper, and then she gave a loud cry and held me captive against her soft breasts as her hips bucked and her body shuddered and convulsed all around me.

"_Ungh! Yes Edward! Yesss_!" she cried, biting down on my lower lip with so much desperation that I tasted my own cool blood. I licked it up and plunged my tongue into her panting mouth, burying my dick inside her to the hilt.

She screamed again. "God yes, I'm coming! You're making me come _so hard_! _Ohhh! Ohhh_!" Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and hands fisted my hair as she rode out her orgasm. Her walls contracted tightly around me, bathing me in her warm moisture.

"That's right baby. Come for me. Let it all out."

"Edward! Edward!" she cried over and over, until I felt her spasms ebb as she came down from her high.

Once her body slackened under me, she leveled me with her dark eyes and her lips turned up in a lazy sultry smile. She started moving again, slowly at first, our hips smacking against each other audibly with the moisture from her orgasm. The sound made me impossibly harder every time I thrust into her. I lowered my eyes between us, watching myself pump in and out of her. Her folds glistened with our combined sweat and her orgasm, bathing my hardness in her moisture.

"Come inside me Edward," she urged, holding my gaze. The lust in her voice made me groan. "Come inside me _now_."

She fisted her hands into my hair and guided my head down, licking my neck and biting down. _Hard_. I thrust my hips against hers with a vengeance, burying myself inside her unimaginable heat.

_Thrust_. She cried out.

_Thrust_. She screamed my name.

_Thrust_. She begged for more.

And that was all I could take.

My dick throbbed and every muscle in my body stiffened and then gave out as the coil snapped. Blinding heat traveled up my spine as every nerve ending in my body converged at one point and exploded inside her. I cried out and held her body against me, releasing my very soul into her, her burning walls milking me for every last drop.

"Bella! Bella!" I cried out, every muscle in my body that had just been tight like a knot suddenly loose like a jellyfish.

"Bella. Bella," I called out, my heart racing in my chest, my breathing fast and erratic. Bella held me close against her, murmuring quietly in my ear, running her hands along my back before bringing them up to my hair and playing with it tenderly this time.

"Bella," I murmured again, burying my head into the nape of her neck and showering it with soft kisses.

"Shh," she murmured. "I'm right here. I'm right here Edward."

"Bella," I whispered again, wrapping my arms around her and digging my face into her hair, inhaling her unique scent mixed with the scent of our lovemaking.

"_Stay with me Edward. Please."_

"_I'm here Bella."_

"_Edward…" _

"_Bella..."_

"_Oh Edward…"_

My eyes snapped open, and I sucked in a deep breath of air. Grey light filtered in through the tan shades, illuminating the room and the walls surrounding me. Shades of green bounced off the walls and against my blurred vision, brightening an otherwise colorless morning.

"Bella," I murmured quietly, her sated smile still behind my eyelids, her name still on my lips.

"Edward…" a soft voice responded.

I blinked a few times, trying to regulate my breathing and separate dreams from reality. Images flashed through my head; Bella underneath me, moaning in ecstasy as I made love to her. Dream…or reality?

I thought carefully. A dream. Just a dream. But a mind-fucking, unbelievably realistic dream.

"Fuck," I groaned quietly, running one hand through my hair.

"Edward…"

I blinked again. In those first few seconds between waking and dreaming, Bella's voice, her scent, her warmth, even the softness of her body against mine still clung to me. I could practically still feel-

"Edward…"

My eyes widened, and my heart pounded heavily in my chest again. Vacillating between hope and dread, I flexed my arms tightly around what I suspected I felt between them. An amazed smile washed over my face at the realization that Bella was indeed in my arms; her warm body spooned against mine. The previous night came back to me:

_Bella had been drunk and saying a shitload of things I had no idea what to make of, before throwing up and falling asleep in my arms. But then a warm sleeping Bella with her ass pressed up against my groin all night had apparently given my subconscious the green light to go wild._

And gone wild it had. Shit, I'd tried so hard to be a gentleman with her while awake, only to go fuck it up in my slumber. Apparently I'd been pressing my dick into her ass all night, the proof of which was currently warm and sticky in my pants.

Mortified, I lifted my head slightly to look at Bella's face. Her eyes were closed, thank God, and I prayed she hadn't felt my boner up against her all night, or the apparent explosion just a few minutes ago. Bella's hair was splayed out all over her pillow, her cheeks flushed and her lips slightly parted. And even though I was ashamed as all hell, I couldn't help the smile her sleeping form brought to my face. I watched her for two seconds, torn between gazing at her, and extracting myself to go take care of the juvenile mess I'd made in my pants. But then Bella stirred and in her unaware slumber, pressed her bottom deeper into my groin.

"_Edward_…" she murmured, her eyes still closed. Her chest rose and fell, quicker than I would've thought for someone in restful sleep.

"_Edward…"_ she repeated breathlessly.

I furrowed my brows.

"Bella," I whispered, "Are you awa-"

"_Mmm, Edward…more_…" she breathed, never opening her eyes, a slow smile creeping over her lips.

"Bella?"

"_Edward_…" she called out again, pressing her ass deeply into me and moaning quietly. Her legs squirmed under her covers, and she curled herself in and out over and over, her hands fisting the comforter tightly.

I froze.

"_Mmm, ohhh_. _Edward…_"

Oh fuck.

My heart pounded heavily in my chest as I watched Bella writhe under her covers, calling my name.

"Oh, _Ohhhh_" she whimpered quietly, breathing hard and erratically.

I swallowed thickly, unable to move. Every part of my body ached and throbbed, especially the part Bella was grinding herself into insistently. My hand reached out slowly, fingers aching to touch her flushed face, her heaving chest, to travel lower and touch her everywhere she needed to be touched. She called my name again.

I cursed under my breath and shut my eyes tight, but it wasn't enough to block out the sounds she was making, sounds which were suddenly so familiar. I'd been hearing them in my dreams; in dreams that hadn't been completely made up of just my imagination after all.

My eyes popped open. I could wake her. I could pull down her shorts and her pretty white lace panties and my own pants and finish both our dreams…I could-

"_Edward please_…_please_…_ohhh_…" she murmured again.

For the love of all that's holy she was _pleading_.

I shut my eyes again and let out a low groan, bringing back the hand that had been traveling towards Bella breasts and fisting it on the side of the bed. I ran my hand through my hair.

"No. Fuck. No!" I hissed under my breath. And then somehow I found the strength to move away from Bella and get up quietly, and walk to the door.

I walked into the main bathroom in the hallway and banged my head against the mirror a few dozen times. Once I managed to slow my heart down to a somewhat acceptable rate, I cleaned myself up as well as possible and washed my face and ran a frustrated hand through my hair.

Jesus, I had to get out of here. I'd reached my limit. One more second with a drunk Bella, or a half-naked Bella, or a fucking _dreaming_ Bella, and I'd pin her under me and fuck her 'til the cows came home.

And then hate myself afterwards.

Yeah, I had to get out of here. Now. We had to talk, I knew that, but I couldn't walk back into that bedroom right now. I needed to clear my mind and focus.

The smell of fresh coffee wafted through the living room when I got out of the bathroom. I followed its scent into the kitchen and was met by a short, irate-looking woman wrapped in a long terry robe.

Alice sat up on a stool holding a mug of coffee between two hands, her legs crossed in front of her as one swung up and down insistently. She lifted an eyebrow at me.

"Apparently you and I have two very different definitions of what 'not that much of an asshole' – she lifted a hand off of her mug to make air quotes – "means."

"Good Morning to you too," I muttered. The last thing I was in the mood for was Alice's shit. "Coffee. Good. I fucking need it. Right now." I walked over to her to snatch her mug away, but she jerked it out of reach, glaring.

"Well?" she demanded.

"Well what?" I snapped.

Her eyes narrowed into slits. "I come home and find you both in Bella's bed wrapped around each other like two little pigs in a blanket!" she hissed. "How could you take advantage-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I cut her off, putting a hand up, palm out in front of her. "Alice, you have no goddamned idea of the kind of night and morning I've just had, and the last thing I need right now is you accusing me of taking advantage of Bella. We talked and fell asleep, _that's it_," I scowled.

Well that wasn't entirely it, but there was no way in hell I was going to tell her Bella and I had been halfway to making our wet dreams reality.

She eyed me warily. "Are you sure?"

I walked over to the coffee maker and poured myself a cup, taking a hot sip and letting it burn my tongue and throat. The heat numbed me enough so that I could level Alice with a steady gaze.

I snorted. "Trust me, I'm sure."

Alice watched me carefully before smirking. "So…what did you guys talk about? Did she tell you about the…you know…about the…thing?"

"The thing." I repeated dryly, putting my mug down on the counter. "Look, I gotta be honest here Shorty, your weekly game of Charades is getting annoying, especially with your clues getting shittier and shittier."

Alice pursed her lips and sighed. "Never mind."

"We didn't talk about any _thing_ in particular Alice," I clarified. "She was smashed, and it usually requires two sober people to hold a meaningful conversation. Now I'm going to go home and let her finish" –_dreaming_- "sleeping."

A flash of heat ran up my spine. I could feel my face flushing and my pants getting tight again. Alice frowned curiously. I ignored her and put my mug down in the sink. Screw washing it, I had to get out of here.

"When Bella wakes up, please ask her to give me a call," I called out as I walked out of the kitchen quickly.

"Don't forget movie night tonight!" Alice called out while I put my shirt and shoes on. "We're watching Revenge of the Nerds Part II!"

I rolled my eyes. Not one of my favorites, but I'd be here. Bella and I _had_ to talk tonight. I couldn't go on like this anymore.

"Yeah, see you later," I called back, and walked out the door.

When I got home, I stripped out of all my clothes and went straight into the shower. I rolled my shoulders back and forth as I scrubbed down, feeling the tenseness in the back of my neck.

'_I think of you all the time Edward.'_

'_I'm going to fix it all Edward._'

And then her dreams. _Our_ dreams.

'_Bella, come for me…"_

'_Edward…ohh…please…'_

I groaned and rested my head against the cold tiles, the steam swirling all around me, the hot water falling like prickly needles against my bare neck and shoulders, sliding down my spine.

Had Bella meant all of the things she'd said last night? What if everything she'd said last night had just been part of some drunken rant and once she woke this morning she'd remember none of it?

I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, tying a towel loosely around my hips and shaking the excess water out of my head. Drops of water dripped on the floor as I made my way to my dresser and stood in front of the mirror, taking a long hard look at the reflection.

I ran a hand over my cheeks and along my jaw line. Gone were the angry red zits; smooth and clear skin lay everywhere I touched. Hair that had once been just an untamed lion's mane had somehow become an asset. Gone were the thick framed glasses. Bright green eyes stared back at me. My frame was no longer thin and lanky. Firm shoulders framed a torso that rippled with muscled tendons when I flexed my arms. A rigid six-pack outlined my abdomen; a sharp V defined my pelvic bone and trailed and disappeared just beyond the towel.

Yeah, the man in the reflection had changed dramatically over the years. I moved closer to the mirror, staring at my pupils. Greens, browns, yellows, all the colors Bella had used in her paintings did indeed swirl in my eyes. But was it really possible that Bella had never seen the zits, or the glasses? And if she could really see through me so clearly, if my eyes were really the windows she claimed they were, why had she never been able to see _herself_ in there?

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. Yes, I'd promised to be there for Bella in any capacity she needed me. Yes, I'd promised to be her friend regardless. And I'd keep those promises. But I _had_ to know already. Were we just destined to be friends, despite what we may have felt for each other? Or could we be more?

Because what _I_ wanted from her, was absolutely _everything_.

OOOOOOOOOO

I spent the early part of the afternoon catching up on the club's spreadsheets, which I'd honestly been neglecting lately, and as a result were pretty much a mess. After getting most of them up-to-date I got to the liquor reports which Vicki usually handled, and couldn't make heads or tails of them. Unfortunately, the files with the figures I'd need to update them were back at my office at Eclipse, so I closed up the file and left it for later.

Restless and anxious, I walked around the apartment aimlessly, straightening up a bit. Just as I was about to step out of the washroom, something vibrated in the hamper, and when I dug my phone out of last night's pants, I opened it up and found four text messages, each about ten minutes apart.

**I've either woken up with superhuman vision, or the sun is about to explode. B.**

**There is a colony of little construction workers in my brain, and they've all got there jackhammers out. B**

**I think Jake may have peed in my mouth last night. B**

**Okay that last one was a bit gross, but you don't have to ignore me here. B**

I chuckled and typed off a quick response.

**I wasn't ignoring you. I was doing some work and lost my phone in the hamper. E**

**Ah, the hamper. Still got them ripped unmentionables in there? B**

Whoa. I sucked in a long breath of air through narrowed lips and reread the message. Yeah, I'd read it correctly, and while the truth was that I'd thrown all that shit out the same night Bella found them, the question startled me. My thumbs hesitated over the keys. A new text came in before I could figure out how to handle the previous one.

**Edward, I'm sorry. Please, please, please ignore that last text. I'm kind of nervous this morning and I have no idea what I'm texting. B**

It was mid-afternoon, but I didn't point that out.

**Why are you nervous? E**

**I'm worried I may have done or said things last night that might come back to haunt me. You know, if I decide to run for public office. LOL. So Did I? I mean, say or do anything questionable? B**

Would she categorize our mutual dreams as 'questionable?' I decided I didn't want to know over text.

**I wouldn't say…questionable. E**

She didn't answer for about five minutes.

**Okay, all I want to know is, did I do or say anything to upset you? B**

Upset me?

Confuse the ever-living shit out of me and make me come in my pants like a love-sick teenager? Yes. But upset?

**No. E**

**Good enough. B**

**Don't worry, your future bid for the white house should be safe. E**

**Relieved to know that. LOL. Are you coming over tonight for the movie? B**

'**Course. **My thumbs wavered over the small keyboard.  
><strong>Bella, we really need to talk. E<strong>

**I know, Edward. We'll talk tonight. Promise. B**

**Okay, see you in a few. E**

**See you. :) B **

I finished up a few more errands around the house, and debated whether to go into Eclipse for a couple of hours to get those liquor spreadsheets done, but I was anxious to see Bella and resolve this thing one way or the other. So I threw on a pair of faded jeans and a black t-shirt and packed up my clothes for the club in a garment bag.

Before stepping out, I sent Bella one more text.

**On my way. Need anything? Pizza? Frosting? Hangover meds? E.**

By the time I'd gotten in my car, I still hadn't gotten a response.

I sent her one more text before pulling out.

**Hello?**

My phone vibrated a few seconds later.

**E, I'm in the middle of something. Will call you later, okay? B**

I frowned, confused by the vague message.

Then it hit me. She was probably painting. No one and nothing else existed when she painted. Once more I debated going into Eclipse for a couple of hours and then heading to Bella's. But I wasn't in the mood to deal with more spreadsheets tonight. If Bella was still in her zone when I got there, I'd hang with Alice until Bella got all her colors out of her system. Or I'd play around with Jake. It was time me and that mutt spent some man to beast time together anyway.

Fifteen minutes later, I parked my car across the street from the loft. As I opened the metal gate on the elevator and made my way upstairs, Jake's angry barking filled my ears. I snorted and shook my head. The closer I got to the door, the louder his barking got. I rang the doorbell, frowning at how feral Jake's barking sounded tonight.

Alice swung open the door, her face flushed and her dark blue eyes wide.

"Edward," she breathed. There was a strange note in her voice I wasn't sure I'd ever heard before, but Alice tended towards strangeness at times.

"Hey Shorty," I said, stepping around her and into the hallway. "What's going on with Jake?"

Alice closed the door and turned around with a wary expression. Before she could answer, another voice spoke from behind me.

"Edward."

I turned to find Jasper with his hands tucked deep in his pockets and a similar wary expression.

"Hey Jazz," I jeered, using the ridiculous nickname Alice had penned for him. "How's it hanging man? We missed you at the party last night."

Like Alice, he simply stared at me.

I frowned at the strange pair, but before I could ask them what their problem was, my name was called again, from behind Jasper.

"Edward."

This time it was Emmett, walking towards me with Rosalie. They appeared from the living room, both wearing equally uneasy expressions. Emmett's lips were drawn in a tight line, in a face he usually wore when he was trying to rein his temper in.

"Yeah, it's me," I smirked with a tone of cynicism. "What are you two doing here so early?"

"Alice called…" He looked at Alice and trailed off before abruptly turning his eyes back to me and putting his arm around my shoulder, turning me back towards the door.

"Yo Ed, why don't you and I go into the club early tonight? There're a few things we need to take care of. With Victoria gone, we've got to-"

My attention was diverted by the way Jake kept barking unceasingly, his growls and howls filling up the entire loft. I turned back around towards the living room.

"Go into the club early?" I asked distractedly. "For what? We've got all night to take care of everything. Besides, Demetri and Alec can- Alice, what the hell is Jake's problem?"

The entire group stayed on my tail as I walked into the living room. I turned to look at them and frowned, puzzled by their weird behavior. Jake stood just outside Bella's bedroom door, barking like a rabid beast, his drool flying all over the place with his snarls. Between barks and growls he pawed insistently on Bella's closed door, whimpering and whining as if begging to be let in.

"Jake boy," I called over, "What's going on?" He turned around and glared at me for a second, growling and then bounding over urgently, pawing me with his two front legs.

I patted him on the back. "What's the problem boy? What's got you so crazy tonight?"

He kept barking, his eyes firmly on me, unrelenting.

"What, you think you're Lassie now?" I snickered. "Did Tommy fall down the well again?" I chuckled at my own joke and turned around, expecting to see the others grinning at my humor.

They all stared back grimly.

"What the _hell_ is going on?"

Bella's door suddenly opened and my head whipped back over.

Every muscle in my body tensed, and my hand froze over Jake's furry back.

"Mike you're not listening to me," Bella charged while walking out of her bedroom. In front of her walked out none other than Mike. Both of them looked my way. Mike stared blankly. Bella's face contorted in horror.

"Edward," she breathed, her dark eyes tense.

I simply stared at her, unable to move a muscle.

Mike's face broke out in a grin. "Hey, Ed man! Good to see you again." He walked over to me with his hand stretched out. In a split second, Jake went for it with a loud snap of his teeth. Only quick reflexes and blind luck allowed Mike to jerk his hand away with all five fingers intact.

"Fuck!" he growled, holding his hand inside the other to make sure all appendages were intact. "Goddamn mutt needs to be put down!" Jake snarled and lunged for Mike, but I held him back by his collar.

"Easy boy," I said, my eyes glued to Mike.

Mike glared at Jake, his lip twisted up in a snarl eerily similar to the one Jake sported. But he quickly turned his eyes back up to me. His features morphed into the same pleasant smile he'd worn at the restaurant a few weeks back.

"Glad to see you made it for movie night Ed! We wouldn't have wanted to get started without you."

I glared at him, my jaw clenched tight, still holding on to Jake's collar.

"Mike we're not staying for the movie," Bella said shakily. My eyes turned towards her. She ran a hand halfway up her scalp, fisting her hair in her hand. Her eyes flickered to me uneasily. And while some deep part of me wanted to take that look off her face, the image of her walking out of her bedroom with _him_ kept me from being able to do so.

She looked from me back to Mike, and then quickly moved closer to him and leaned into his ear.

All the fine hairs on my arms stood on end. I strained to hear what she was saying to him, but Jake was barking too loudly.

Mike turned around to her, that pleasant smile still plastered to his face.

"Later baby, later," he said dismissively, walking over to the loveseat and plopping himself down.

"Not later," she hissed, clenching her fists at her sides and looking desperately from me to him again. "Now."

Mike chuckled and brought his eyes back to me. "Impatient, isn't she?" His eyes strayed towards the blank TV screen. "Relax Bella sweetie, we've got the next few days and nights for that. Now let's watch ourselves an eighties classic."

My eyes flashed to Bella. She flushed a deep red, a mortified expression on her face.

"Jake," I commanded through clenched teeth, "Sit."

For the first time in his life Jake listened to me. He sat on his hindquarters, though low growls still emanated from his chest.

And then I took a step towards Mike.

"Edward!"

"Edward!"

"Edward!" Emmett boomed in his bear voice. He materialized at my side and wrapped his hand around my shoulder tightly, holding me in place. Out of my periphery I could see him glaring at me, but I kept my eyes locked on Mike, who kept grinning.

Emmett spoke in a low but firm voice. "Why don't you take a seat so we can all…take a _chill_ and watch the movie?" I didn't budge. "Edward," Emmett repeated lowly.

I forced my eyes away from Mike and his maddening grin and looked at my brother. His expression was hard as stone. "Sit down," he said calmly. I walked over to the sofa opposite from the one Mike was on and sat down stiffly. Emmett sat to my left and Jasper soon appeared and sat on the right arm of the sofa. Alice hesitated then slowly sat down on the love seat she usually shared with Jasper. Rosalie sighed heavily and sat next to her, lips drawn in a tight line. Bella was the last left standing. For a few seconds, she looked unsure as to what to do, but then she went and squeezed herself in next to Alice. Jake went and planted himself at her feet, glaring and growling lowly at Mike. I caught the look Mike gave Bella. His eyes flashed to me almost imperceptibly before plastering the grin on his face and turning his eyes back to the TV.

"Bring it on," he urged.

For a long minute, the seven of us just sat there. And then with a barely concealed scowl, Alice picked up the remote and pressed play.

The previews played on, while we all sat around the TV silently. My eyes stayed glued to the screen but my mind was reeling, a thousand questions circling my mind like angry crows.

'What the fuck was he doing here?' was at the top of the list, along with 'When the hell did he get here?' and followed by 'What the hellhad he and Bella been doing in her room?' The same room she and I had just spent the night in together, laying in each other's arms and apparently dry-humping each other. With every second that passed my throat constricted more tightly. My pulse quickened. Blood pounded in my head. My heart beat like a war drum.

"So," Mike began, a few minutes into the movie. He made himself comfortable against the sofa and stretched one arm out over the back edge. One leg folded over the other. "Edward, how have things been going in this part of the country?"

Was this motherfucker seriously trying to start a conversation with me?

I fixed my eyes on him. "Not bad." Out of the corner of my eyes I could see everyone's eyes bounce from me to him.

"Good to hear." Mike smiled readily. "I can see you've _all_ grown pretty close over the past couple of months." Something flashed in his eyes. "Good to know Bella hasn't been lonely or anything over here."

"That's what friends are for, aren't they?" I responded quickly, my breathing shallow. "To help each other out _without_ expecting anything in return. I could swear we talked about this last time Mike."

I could practically feel Bella stiffen over on her sofa. Jake must've felt it too, because his growls grew more guttural. Emmett shifted next to me, crossing his legs and knocking my leg purposely with his foot. He turned his head all the way to the right, scratching his neck.

"_Not now Edward_," he warned with a hiss next to my ear. _"Shut the fuck up and leave it alone. Not. Now."_

I ignored him.

"Yeah. I suppose you're right," Mike agreed. "That is what _friends_ are for. Though my _fiancée_ here tends to forget she's got friends in New York too. I had to fly up here and remind her, even though she was supposed to fly down to me this weekend. I suppose her _friends_ up here are just keeping her too busy for that."

"Mike!" Bella hissed sharply. Jake barked once.

I shrugged with a wry grin. "Whatever friends Bella left in New York can't be that great if she's neglected to mention them."

Mike chuckled. "Oh there seems to be a lot Bella's neglected to mention."

Something flashed in his eyes, and for a fraction of a second, I felt a flurry of unease in the pit of my stomach. I ignored it and kept the cool grin in place.

"Mike," Bella hissed again, "Stop." Jake's growls grew more threatening, and out of the corner of my eye I could see Bella grab his collar in her hand in restraint.

"_Stop this back and forth shit right now, Ed_," Emmett hissed in my ear, running his hand up and down his nose to cover his mouth discreetly, _"or you'll end up regretting it."_

I ignored Emmett and chuckled. "Bella's mentioned a lot. Trust me."

He narrowed his eyes at me, and for the first time his smile faltered.

_That's right asshole. I know all about your fucking bullshit financial 'help,' and how you've used that to your advantage._

Mike's smile recovered quickly though. "See, that's the thing about friends Edward. They come in all different shapes and sizes. They're everywhere, and sometimes we don't even know it."

I clenched my jaw, suddenly feeling off-guard.

"Hey, do you remember my friend Tyler, from high school?"

What the fuck?

I nodded once.

Mike's smile widened. "Tyler and I have kept in touch pretty well since high school. He lives in New York too. Bella's seen him a couple of times, haven't you sweetie?"

Bella's chest heaved. Her brows furrowed. "Mike I need-"

"You know Tyler went to UDub?" Mike asked me.

Bella sucked her teeth and sat back heavily against the sofa.

I narrowed my eyes and stared back at him.

"That's where you went, isn't it?" He continued without waiting for an answer. "So me and my buddy Tyler are out having drinks the other night, and I happened to mention to him that Bella and I shared some drinks with you. He says to tell you hi."

"Your buddy Tyler was never my friend, not in high school, and not in college," I said through clenched teeth. _He was too much of an asshole, like you_.

Emmett turned his head to the right again, hissing intently. "Ed stop! Ignore him!"

"No, I don't suppose Tyler would've been your friend in college. From what he tells me you didn't bother with anyone unless they had a pretty face and big tits. You were quite the busy lady's man from what Tyler says," he chuckled. "Rumors were you banged a different girl every week."

All pretense was finally out the window. Mike grinned triumphantly; the same grin from back in high school. Taunting; mocking.

He was playing the game again.

He'd never stopped playing the game.

Next to me, Jasper sharply sucked in air, while Emmett sucked his teeth on my other side. My jaw tightened. My eyes immediately went to Bella. She was staring at me wide-eyed, her mouth slightly open, startled.

"_I told you to shut the fuck up!"_ Emmett whispered angrily. "_He's playing you!"_

My muscles coiled tightly, I leaned forward and fisted my hands at my sides. "Your boy Tyler had nothing better to do than stalk me in College?" I said through twisted lips. Mike simply grinned. "Anyway, that's all in the past," I hissed, "I…I don't play those games anymore."

"I'm sure you don't," Mike laughed. He leaned forward and picked up a peanut from a bowl on the coffee table, popping it gingerly into his mouth. "By the way, how _is_ your girlfriend…what was her name…Victoria?"

My jaw tightened painfully while I seethed in my seat. When I looked at Bella again, she was staring at me with something I'd never seen before in her eyes; something that suddenly resembled doubt. My nostrils flared. Instinctively I started to get up, but Emmett and Jasper both put a hand on my shoulders.

"Mike, the thing is," Alice cut in, in a sugary high-pitched voice that I'd come to learn in the past few weeks could be extremely deceiving, "we all do stupid things in high school and college." She smiled at him acerbically. "Fortunately, most of us outgrow our dumbass stage. But others…" she trailed off, shrugging sweetly.

"Yeah," Rosalie suddenly added, glaring at Mike. "I guess you're just lucky no one was interested enough in your life to pay attention to your fuck-ups." She fluttered her eyelashes at him innocently.

Mike sneered. "I guess I am. Bella sweetie," – he kept his eyes on Rose - "you seem to have found yourself a really close-knit group of friends here. It really is a shame you'll be leaving them _all_ in a couple of months."

The sudden silence was deafening. My heart had been racing but now it just stopped.

All the blood drained out of Bella's face. Her face twisted in panic and her eyes flickered all around the room, resting on me for a couple of seconds before turning and narrowing them at Mike.

"Mike, not now," she warned, her lips barely moving.

"Not now what sweetie?" Mike asked dumbly. "Oh," he grinned, "you haven't told them yet."

"Mike" - Bella spat, leaning forward - "Stop! You and I need to talk!"

"Like I said," - his eyes flashed to me meaningfully - "Seems to be a lot Bella's forgotten to mention."

My eyes roamed around the room. Everyone wore a look of confusion and shock that I was sure was reflected in my face.

All except for Alice. She openly glowered at Mike.

'_He's convinced this move to Seattle won't last…'_

'_So what does he plan to do if it does last?'_

'_We haven't thought that far ahead yet…'_

That's what Bella had told me, wasn't it? That day we'd bumped into each other, back at the diner. She'd _said_ they hadn't thought that far ahead.

"Bella _is_ home," I hissed, my voice shaking.

Mike turned his full attention to me. "No. She's not home," he said carefully. "This little adventure was just a temporary situation. Something she had to get out of her system before we got married. So I went along with it, but it's nearing its end."

"Temporary?" I spat out in baffled frustration.

"Yeah, temporary," he sneered. "What did you think Eddie?" he snorted. "We're engaged! Did you really think we'd be living on opposite coasts forever?" He chuckled. "No. She had six months. Six months to find a good job, something in her field, something with a good salary, and _then_ I'd consider asking for a transfer to Washington."

All air left my lungs. I felt as if I'd been punched in the stomach. I looked at Bella. She was watching me apprehensively, breathing just as hard as me.

"Mike," she said weakly, her eyes never leaving mine.

I swallowed thickly. "Six months?" My eyes searched hers, begging for a contradiction to Mike's claims, or at least some sort of explanation.

"I…I never actually…" she stuttered.

"It's been almost five months now," Mike said, ignoring Bella. "I think at this point we can safely call the trip a failure, don't you? I mean, what has she found other than a gig as a bartender? No," he chuckled, shaking his head. "Bella _will_ be coming back to New York."

The scene shifted suddenly.

_We were back at Forks, Mike, Bella and I, sitting on the grass outside, the rare bright sun bearing down on us on a warm spring day. And Mike had just sat between me and Bella, just as we'd been about to confess our feelings for each other. Because it was so easy to see now that that's what would've happened had nature been allowed to take its course. _

'_She's going to prom with me,'_ _he'd boasted, with a grin exactly like the one he wore now. He'd known then how much I wanted her; how much she meant to me._

Just like he knew it now. Like he'd known all along. Back then, I'd gotten up and ran and never looked back.

Not this time…

"No, I don't think she is," I said evenly. "_This_ is where Bella belongs." _With me._

Mike's eyes widened, as if he hadn't been expecting me to contradict him.

I stood up so quickly Emmett and Jasper didn't get a chance to hold me down.

"Edward!"

"You want to know what Bella's found other than a gig as a bartender?" I snarled. "She's found _real_ friends; she's found people who care about _her_," – I pointed a finger sharply in her direction – "the _real_ her, people who admire and support her emotionally!"

Mike snorted and rolled his eyes, getting to his own feet. Bella quickly followed; her eyes wide and terrified. She put a hand on her forehead and held Jake back with her other hand.

"Mike, please! Let's go!"

"How far is all that going to get her?" he sneered. "Yeah, it's a cute hobby she's got, but what Bella needs is-"

"What Bella _needs_," I growled, "is to be close to her father. _He_ needs her, and-"

Mike chuckled loudly, mockingly, crossing his arms in front of him. "Boy Bella's really got you all in the dark over here, hasn't she?"

"Goddamnit Mike!" Bella cried, "Stop!"

"It's for her father that she _will_ come back to New York," Mike snickered.

I narrowed my eyes, and as much as I knew it was going to kill me, I couldn't keep myself from asking.

"Why would she go back to New York for her father? He needs her here, close to him."

"Mike," Bella whispered, pleading now. He ignored her.

"Well, because she can do him a lot more good from over there than she can from here. They won't hold the position for her forever." He grinned at my blank expression. "You don't know about that either?" He sighed exaggeratedly. "As of next month, Bella will be earning a six-figure salary as Assistant to the Vice President of one of the top investment banks in New York City."

My lungs stopped working. It was as if all the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room. By the wry look on Mike's face, he knew exactly what kind of dagger he'd just twisted through me.

"Bella, is that true?" Rosalie asked in a bewildered tone.

Bella looked at her pleadingly. "I swear I was going to tell you all." Her eyes turned to me, full of anguish. I simply stared at her, unable to speak.

"When Bella's father got sick," Mike continued arrogantly, "I suggested to her that it might be a good idea that she pick up some business classes before she graduated. Like I said, her art is cute, but it's not a very realistic pathway for the future, is it?" He continued without waiting for a response. "Like I told you during drinks the other night Ed, Bella is very independent, I know that, and I'm not stupid. I know it bothers her that I pay for her father's medical expenses. She wants to repay me and take over the expenses on her own? That's fine. But she's going to need more than a bartending gig or even the sale of a couple of little portraits for that. A few months ago I found out my company would need a new Assistant to the VP by the beginning of next year. I pulled a few strings and got her the job. She accepted it, and agreed to start at the beginning of the year. One day a few months ago she wakes up and decides she wants to be closer to her dad and try to make a career of her art after all. But she's known from the beginning that she had six months to prove she could be as successful over here as she _will_ be in New York. Or else she'd come back."

I stood there silently, my mind reeling.

Six months? A corporate six-figure job she'd already accepted? I looked around the room. Everyone except Alice wore similar expressions of shock.

"You were leaving? All this time…you were leaving?" I asked, forgetting everyone else in the room.

"Edward…I…I never actually agreed…" she stuttered in a quivering voice.

"Yes you did, sweetie," Mike contradicted with a smirk. "You signed a letter of intent with the corporation, and this weekend you were supposed to come sign the lease for our new apartment downtown."

I took a step back, each blow hitting me harder than the last. Blood pounded heavily between my ears. My head felt as if it were about to burst.

Bella fisted her hair in her hands. Mike glared at me triumphantly.

'_That's right Crusty Cullen you dumb fucker. You were an insane asshole to ever think you could've gotten her. I got her then, and I got her now.'_

I looked at Bella one more time. Her beautiful face was pale and terrified, and her rich chocolate eyes were full of apologies.

"Edward…I…"

I wanted _everything_ from Bella.

Everything except apologies.

And suddenly I was filled with a blinding rage that turned everything into a deep shade of blood-red. Blood boiled in my veins. My nostrils flared and my chest heaved up and down heavily. I vaguely heard Bella's voice, as if in a far-away nightmare.

"Mike, you and I discussed these things, but I never…I- I never," – Bella stuttered – "I never actually agreed-"

He cut her off with a snort. "Bella sweetie. You're wearing my engagement ring. You agreed to this and plenty more."

I took two strides in Mike's direction and managed to fist his shirt in my hand before Emmett and Jasper pulled me back.

"Edward please!" Bella screamed. Jake started barking viciously again, and Bella had to restrain him with both hands. Mike grinned widely.

"You Crusty fucking Cullen," Mike sneered. "Did you really think I'd give her up that easily?"

"Mike, stop it!" Bella yelled, trying to hold Jake back.

I strained against Jasper and Emmett, but they held me in a vice grip. "Get the fuck off!" I growled.

"No Edward!" Emmett growled back. "He's not fucking worth it!"

Mike chuckled. "Look at you," he sneered. "You think just because you got rid of the zits and own some shitty nightclub you're some big hot shot now?" He scowled. "You're still a goddamned loser! You will always be nothing more than fucking Crusty Cullen!"

"Damn it Mike! What the _hell_ is your problem?" Bella yelled. Rose and Alice were standing on either side of her.

I fought to get loose, but Emmett held my arms behind me, and Jasper stood in front of me, his hands digging into my shoulders. "Get the fuck off of me!" I yelled again, while Jake's barks and snarls filled with fury.

Mike adjusted his shirt and looked at me as he addressed Bella. "It's alright babe. I forgive you for falling for this asshole's bullshit. After all, it's a game he seems to be good at."

"Fuck you!" I yelled at him, fighting against Emmett and Jasper, but Emmett's grip wasn't _fucking budging_.

"You've got the fucking nerve to talk about games!" I bellowed. "You don't even know her! A fucking corporate job? She'll fade away in a job like that! That's _never_ been what she was meant for! Her art is her _life_, but you don't know that, do you? You're too fucking busy trying to turn her into someone else because it fucking _kills_ you that you'll _never_ have the _real_ Bella!"

"Oh I've _had_ the real Bella," Mike chuckled hatefully. "And I know _my_ fiancée well enough to be confident in the fact that _you_ haven't. That's what fucking kills _you_ right? That you drooled after her like a zit-faced asshole for years and never managed to get into her pants. You couldn't even get into them now, with your new fucking look!" he laughed. "Meanwhile I've been savoring every last bit of her-"

Bella reeled back as if he'd slapped her. But I saw that in my periphery. Because suddenly my arms were loose, and I'll never know if my outrage was just so great that I managed to pry myself from Emmett and Jasper's grips, or if Mike's words were just too much for even them to ignore.

My fist connected with his face, and I had about two seconds to savor the satisfying crunch of nasal cartilage and bones twisting and breaking before Bella's and Jake's screams and howls filled the air.

Mike went down over the sofa, but before I could ram my fist in his face again, Emmett held me back.

"You don't know shit!" I growled at Mike, fighting against Emmett and Jake. He held his nose with both hands; red blood seeping out from between his fingers and seeping into the cream-colored sofa. "You don't know Bella, you don't know me, and you have no idea how to treat her the way she needs to be treated! The way she _deserves_ to be treated! You think you can guilt her into wanting you, or buy her with your fucking loans and jobs and leases! You don't know shit!" I spat again. "If calling me Crusty Cullen makes you feel more like a man, go ahead, but don't you fucking _ever_ dare degrade _her_ again, or I swear to God I'll fucking kill you next time!"

The whole time, he just sat there on the sofa, blood seeping out between his fingers and onto his clothes.

"Goddamnit Rosalie, let go of me!" Bella shouted. I whipped my head over to her. Her eyes were wide and furious. At some point Alice had taken over the job of holding Jake back, because Rosalie had her arms around Bella, trying to keep her in place.

"No Bella!" Rosalie snapped. "You're staying here!"

Bella fought against Rose, but she couldn't get loose. Her eyes moved from me to Mike, clouded with fury and frustration.

"Edward, I think we should go," Emmett commanded.

And as abruptly as the fury had taken hold of me, it evaporated, and all at once I realized, _Bella was crying_. Her eyes were wide and furious and full of tears. I started to step over Mike and make my way towards her, but Emmett held me back once again.

"What the-" I began, turning around with a frown.

"Edward, not now. Let's go."

"But-"

I turned towards Bella again. Abruptly she collapsed against Rosalie's shoulder and let out a whimper. Rosalie whispered something in her ear and turned her around, heading towards her room. "No!" Bella protested, fighting weakly now against Rosalie, but Rosalie held her firmly.

"Bella-" I called out, but it was Rosalie that turned around and shook her head at me.

I looked at Alice helplessly. She stared at me sadly, trying to calm a bewildered Jake.

"Just..." – she sighed in frustration – "leave for now Edward."

"You two get goin'" Jasper agreed. He looked at me firmly. "I'll stay here and make sure this guy heads outta here too." He jerked his head towards where Mike still lay sprawled out on the sofa, making a mess with his nose.

"But I've got to check on Bella-" I hissed defiantly.

"Fuck! Edward! Enough!" Emmett bellowed. "You and this asshole have done enough for now!"

I glared at him angrily, and then clenched my jaw and stepped over the bloody mess on the floor.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What are we thinking? Reviews are almost as satisfying as breaking Mike's nose. (Laughs wickedly). They really do encourage me to write quicker. Otherwise, you'll have to wait longer to know what happens, and trust me, you want to read the next chapter!**

**And don't forget to put me on Author Alert if you want to be informed when the next story goes up. I still haven't decided which one I'm going to post first. Let me know in your reviews what you'd prefer to see first. So far FBI-ward is beating Knight-ward by a small margin. One of my readers suggested I put up a poll on my profile page, and I might just do that, but for now just hit me up with a review and let me know.**

**Finally, I'm on Twitter! Still trying to figure out how it works exactly, but I'd love for you guys to hit me up if you want to discuss anything! I'm at: (at sign)PattyRosa817. No parentheses of course.**

**Talk to you soon!**


	20. Chapter 19 Risky Business

**A/N: Hey guys. The weather insists on staying interesting here around me. Now I'm dealing with heavy rains from a tropical storm. Not a dull moment…**

**Lots of strong feelings from last chapter. I know Bella's got some serious explaining to do, but remember, throughout the story she's always had a hard time speaking up for herself in front of Mike. I completely understand being upset with her, though. **

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward. (And not-so-perfect Bella either.)**

**Chapter Song Recs (A few for this Chapter):**

_**Cry Me A River**_** by Justin Timberlake  
><strong>_**What Hurts the Most**_** by Cascada  
><strong>_**Here With Me**_** by Dido  
><strong>**But mainly: ****_**For the First Time****_** by The Script (love these guys)**

**Chapter 19 - Risky Business**

* * *

><p>The wheels of the Audi screeched loudly against the wet concrete. The smell of burning rubber stormed the inside of the car, invading my nose and burning its way up my nostrils, seeping into my brain. The putrid scent made my eyes tear, but I ignored it and pulled the car into the parking space in front of Eclipse, shifting into park and jumping out in one quick motion. I vaguely took notice of Demetri and a couple of the other guys setting up the red rope outside, getting things ready for another night of fun for the eager Seattle nightlife. I ignored them all. Emmett pulled up in his jeep, parking directly behind my Audi and jumped out quickly.<p>

"Edward!"

I ignored him too.

As soon as I made my way into the club, the deejay's pounding synthesizers rattled my already shaken brain. I lifted my head higher, inviting the insistent cacophony to reverberate throughout every nerve ending in my body, trying desperately to block out the words circling around in my head.

'_This little adventure was just a temporary situation...'_

'_Six months to find a good job, something in her field…'_

I flinched against the words, shaking my head vehemently back and forth as I walked into my office and slammed the door behind me.

All this time. From day one. She'd been _lying_ to me.

'_I swear I was going to tell you…'_

I stalked over to my desk and pulled out a random bottle of liquor and brought it to my mouth. It burned my throat on the way down. I welcomed the singe in my chest, urging it to wash everything else in there away.

'…_this weekend you were supposed to come sign the lease for our new apartment…'_

I closed my eyes tightly and took another drink.

She _lied_ to me.

When I opened my eyes back up Emmett walked in; grave and solemn-looking. He looked from the bottle to me and screwed his upper lip angrily.

"This is how you plan on handling things?"

I snorted and looked at the bottle in my hand, taking another long drink. "For starters."

Emmett glared at me and shook his head. "You realize you played right into his game, don't you?"

I didn't answer.

"This is exactly what that asshole wanted. For you to lose it and not use your fucking head" - he hissed, tapping the side of his head hard with one finger - "back over there! That's why I was trying to tell you to shut the-"

I banged the bottle down on my desk. "She fucking _lied_ to me Em! All this time…" – I ran a hand through my head and took another swig – "She told me they hadn't thought that far ahead yet." I snorted angrily. "Shit, they've planned out the next fifty years!"

Emmett moved in closer, shaking his head. "No, _he's_ planned out the next fifty years. I didn't hear Bella agreeing to any of it!"

"I didn't exactly hear her disagreeing!"

Emmett closed his eyes slowly and opened them back up. "You know, you claim to know Bella so well-"

"Yeah," I snorted, "I think it's pretty obvious now that I don't."

Emmett ignored me and kept talking. "-I'm not sure what the hell you expected her to do in front of everyone, especially with you and that asshole going back and forth like a goddamned tennis match."

"She could've spoken up."

"That prick kept ignoring her and instead of you ignoring _him_ you let him goad you into a shitfest that ended in your fists flying and his bloodied ass spread out on their sofa! What the hell did you expect her to do at that point Edward? Step over him and declare you her hero? Even I know that's not Bella's M.O!"

I squared my jaw tightly and stuck the bottle in my mouth again.

"Ed man, this isn't one of those eighties flicks we all watch where the good guy beats the shit out of the bad guy and everyone lives happily ever after! Yeah, it's obvious the guy's an asshole, and I swear I wanted to stick my foot up his ass while he was saying all that shit about Bella _and_ about you" – his eyes narrowed angrily – "but _that's_ why I wanted to get you out of there! Because I know you and your temper, and I knew Bella was trying to resolve some issues with him before you got there!"

He took a deep breath and when he spoke again, his voice was slightly calmer.

"I understand your need to defend Bella, believe me I do. If it was Rosie-"

"Rosalie isn't planning on marrying some asshole and moving cross country, leaving your dumb-ass over here wondering what the fuck happened!"

Emmett ran a hand over his hair in frustration. "Don't you see this is exactly what that prick wanted? For you to get all sorts of pissed off at Bella!"

I brought a hand up to my forehead and fisted my hair hard, closing my eyes because yeah, I _was_ all sorts of pissed off at Bella.

She _lied_ to me. If not outright, then by omission.

"Emmett, do me a favor and just…leave me the fuck alone for a while. I can't think about this shit anymore…not now. I've got work to get to."

Emmett glowered at me. I logged on to my laptop, typing away and ignoring him.

After a couple of minutes, he breathed deeply.

"So that's it? You're just going to sit here with your bottle of Jack and stare at a fucking computer screen for the rest of the night?"

I shrugged.

Emmett shook his head. "You know, you really are an idiot sometimes."

I didn't answer. He turned around and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

I stared at the screen for a few minutes, forcing my mind into blankness, refusing to let myself think.

_Bella lied to me. _

_She lied to me_.

I shook my head quickly and searched the laptop for the files I'd need to update the liquor reports. When I brought up the spreadsheets, the program asked me for a password.

Password?

I frowned. When the fuck did we add a password? With slow, suspicious strokes, I tried out a few possibilities. The name of the club. Nothing. My name. Nope. Victoria's name. Nope. Her birthday. Nada.

"Fuuuck!" I growled and quickly called Emmett's cell phone.

"What do you want?" Emmett spat. "I'm busy down here."

I ignored his tone. "Please tell me you added a password to the liquor reports."

"What the hell are you talking about? Since when do I do the liquor reports?"

I closed my eyes slowly, pinching the bridge of my nose and counting backwards from ten.

"I can't get into any of the spreadsheets. I think Vicki may have added a password-"

"Don't you know it?"

"If I knew it I wouldn't be calling you," I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Don't get pissy with me Ed. Vicki was your assistant, not mine!"

I inhaled deeply again.

"Fuck what a night," Emmett whined. "I'll be right up."

While I waited, I tried a few other combinations for the password, all to no success. Annoyed beyond belief, I picked up the phone again and called Victoria this time. It rang a few times before going to voice mail.

"Victoria," I hissed into the phone. "You better call right back and give me the password to these spreadsheets or come morning I'll be calling my lawyer."

I hung up and rested my elbows on top of the desk, hanging my head in my hands.

_She lied to me_.

Three quick knocks were followed by Emmett walking in. I looked up at his solemn face, his brows furrowed and his eyes anxious, and out of my periphery, I saw someone else walk in behind him, and when my eyes followed the figure, they were met by Bella's big brown eyes, wide and wary. And even as furious and deceived as I felt at that moment, the sight of her _still_ managed to take my breath away.

She took me in carefully, biting her lip and clutching her bag in front of her like a makeshift shield. Comical if I'd felt like laughing because, let's be honest here, _I_ was the one who'd ended up with a dagger through the heart. Her eyes were rimmed in red, and instinctively I got an overwhelming urge to jump over my desk and take her in my arms. But the sting of betrayal was still thick in the air, and the very sight of her made it hard for me to breathe, much less offer comfort. I turned away and stared back at my computer, my heart racing.

"Edward, Bella's here," Emmett announced, as if that fact hadn't been plainly obvious.

I didn't answer.

Bella paused at the door. I could feel her eyes on me; waiting. For what though, I had no idea, though I sincerely hoped it wasn't for an apology for busting up her fiancée's face, because she'd have one long goddamned wait. With my eyes fixed unwaveringly on the laptop, I pretended to type out some shit or other, but the truth was I could've been typing in Swahili for all I knew.

I heard Emmett sigh heavily before walking around the desk and standing behind me.

"Still can't work it out?"

"It's kind of hard to work out something you had no part in," I muttered under my breath.

"Edward I wanted to…talk…but…if you're busy I can come back…"

The sound of her voice echoed in my head; the apprehension in her words caused a fissure in my chest, and again I had to fight an overwhelming urge to comfort her; to tell her the truth, that I'd never be too busy for her.

But damn it, _she lied to me._

It was Emmett that spoke up, while I kept myself busy with futile efforts to find the correct password combination.

"We're just having a bit of a problem with our spreadsheets Bella. It looks like Victoria may have added a password to the program and now we're locked out."

I slammed on the keyboard again, my frustration over the entire fucking night at a boiling point. I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"What program is it?" Bella asked. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her take a couple of hesitant steps further into the office.

Again, I couldn't make my mouth move. Emmett let out a slow breath and gave Bella the name of the program.

She was silent for a couple of minutes. "Well, do you…still have the raw data?" Bella suddenly asked.

Again, silence. Fixing my gaze on the screen once more, I forced the word out of my mouth.

"Yes." My response came out rough and short.

Out of my periphery I saw her nod slowly. "You know, there's a relatively new update to that program that allows you to set up spreadsheets a lot quicker than before. I could…" – I heard her swallow thickly – "set it up pretty quickly…if you guys wanted…I mean I set up Rose and Jasper's…"

_Really Bella? Spreadsheets? I just found out you've been lying to me for weeks __**and**__ I just left your fiancée holding his bloody nose and you're here talking spreadsheets?_

"Could you really do that Bella?" Emmett asked.

Finally, I forced my neck to turn. Inch by painstaking inch, I looked up and brought my eyes back to her. She was watching me uneasily, gnawing on her lip so intensely I was afraid she'd draw blood. And then I wanted to kick myself for caring so much, for being unable to break from the hold she'd had over me since the first day she walked into that classroom back in high school.

She nodded slowly in response to Emmett, but her eyes were on me.

We stared at each other.

_Alright Isabella, you want to play Spreadsheet games, fine. I'll play too. _

I turned away from her and opened up the files with the raw data. Without looking at either of them, I got up and walked towards the door, feeling both their eyes on me.

"The data are up on the laptop. I'm going downstairs to take care of a few things. If you need anything, let Emmett know." Without another word, I walked out.

I spent the next hour or so taking care of odds and ends down in the club. When I ran out of things to stay busy with, I stepped outside. Even though it was still relatively early in the night, a crowd had already started forming behind the red rope. With nothing else to do and anxious to avoid my own office, I joined Emmett and Demetri in sorting.

Emmett gave me a sidelong glance as he handpicked people allowed to party at Eclipse tonight. He shook his head.

"Just go talk with her. Do you really think she came here to help with some goddamned spreadsheets?"

I had no idea _what_ she'd come for, that was the problem.

I shook my head vehemently. "I…can't talk to her. Not now."

"Don't be stupid man." I could feel him staring at me. "Look, I don't know exactly what happened when you guys were in high school, but from what I've gathered she had it as bad for you then as you seem to have had it for her." His tone hardened. "It's obvious that dickhead fucked your shit up then. Don't let him do it again."

"If he's what she wants, then that's her choice."

"Damn it Edward!" he hissed, stopping what he was doing to turn and level me with a hard glare. "She's here, isn't she? You fucking broke his nose and she's _here_! Do you know that she-" He cut off quickly, his eyes flashing behind me. A familiar heat coursed up my spine, letting me know exactly who was there.

"I'm done," Bella said carefully. My spine tingled, but I didn't turn around.

Emmett grinned. "Really? Shit Bella, you're a lifesaver!"

She didn't respond right away. "Do you want to come take a look at it?"

"Yeah," Emmett answered. He clapped me on the shoulder. "Come on Edward; let's go see what Bella's done."

Back upstairs, Bella navigated us through the spreadsheet program she'd set up. Emmett grinned widely while I stood behind them both, rigid as a statue.

_She lied to me._

"Shit Bella, this is great!" Emmett hummed. "Isn't it, Edward?" he asked with a sideways glance.

Bella bit her lip again. Standing to the side of her, I could see her face grow red.

_She lied to me_.

"Yeah, thanks," I agreed dryly. "It's a good thing Mike talked you into getting that business minor. I'm sure it'll serve you well once you're assisting that big-shot VP back in New York."

Bella turned her eyes to me slowly, where I waited with a wry, crooked grin plastered to my face. A grin that was quickly wiped off when I saw the pain in her big brown eyes.

Fuck, I'd hurt her. I'd promised to be her friend no matter what, and I'd _purposely_ hurt her. I hated myself, but the fucking ache from her lies still lingered in my chest, and it made it impossible for me to take the words back.

I'm not sure how much time passed, but at some point our stares turned to glares. And that's when Emmett cleared his throat.

"I'm…going to go to my office to…yeah, okay." I was vaguely aware of his leaving, carefully closing the door behind him.

We held each other's gaze, unwavering, both of us breathing heavily. Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen. Goddamn it, what was she waiting for? What did she want from me?

An explanation? Your fiancée's an asshole.

My blessing? No way.

_An apology?_ Yeah it would be a cold day in hell.

My anger intensified at the thought. I snorted loudly. Bella's eyes darkened and narrowed into two slits. Her lips formed a tight line. Yet she said nothing. I said nothing. And then abruptly she shook her head and turned around, picking her bag up off the top of the desk and heading towards the door.

My frustration with her and the whole situation reached the boiling point.

"Running away again are we?"

Bella froze, her hand still on the doorknob. When she turned around, her eyes burned.

She snorted. "_You're_ going to talk to _me_ about running?" Then she turned again and threw the door open. "You're obviously not in a talking mood and I'm not going to- "

"Why didn't you tell me you were only here for six months?" I yelled, unable to hold back any longer. The loud music below that reverberated through the walls muffled my voice from the outside world. "Why didn't you tell me about the job, or the cushy downtown apartment?"

She stopped and closed the door, locking out the noise from below. She didn't turn to face me when she spoke, and her voice was so low that I had to strain to hear her.

"I didn't say anything because I…never actually agreed-"

"Bullshit Bella!"

She gasped and whirled around, looking up at me sharply.

"Enough with the lies!" I bellowed.

"It's not a lie!" she yelled back.

"Don't stand there and tell me you didn't actually agree to any of it, because as much as I fucking hate your fiancée," I hissed, the words burning my throat, "he was right about one thing. You're wearing his ring." I jerked my head blindly towards her hand. "You agreed to something."

Her nostrils flared. She took a step towards me. "That day in your room, when I went to see you, why didn't you tell me that song was for me? I asked you!" she accused. "I asked you if you'd written it for anyone in particular and you said no! You said-"

I furrowed my brows, confused by the total change of topic. "That was over six years ago Bella! What difference does that make? Who's to say anything would've been different if I'd told you I'd written that song for you?"

"It would've made all the difference!" she yelled. "Do you know how much that hurt me? For weeks I'd been building up my courage to go see you. I was hoping…" – she snorted and shook her head, her voice dropping to a whisper – "I'd been hoping you would've asked me to go to prom with you..."

The hurt in her voice cut me to the quick, but my own pain warred with hers.

Her face contorted in anger. "You stand there with judgment in your eyes and ask me why I didn't have the balls to tell you, when _you_ didn't have the balls to tell _me_ back then! You acted like a coward-"

I reeled back. "I'm a coward?" I snorted incredulously, knocking a fist against my chest. "I'm a coward? You think I haven't figured out why you made this sudden move across the country Bella?" I seethed.

"Because my father is sick!"

"Bullshit!"

She jerked her head back, startled again.

"That may have been part of it, but it wasn't all! I _know_ you Bella! _I_ know the _real_ you!" My voice shook with fury. "If it was only about your father you would've stayed in New York! You would've taken that job and made a shit-load of money to pay for your father's medical bills, married that fucker and been his Stepford wife and died on the inside without giving it a second thought!" I stalked closer to her, lowering my head to her eye level. Bella took a step back.

"But for one split-second," I hissed, pinching two fingers together and bringing them between both our faces, "you thought about yourself!"

Tears streamed down her face as she glared at me furiously. And while her tears broke my heart, the dam had broken and I couldn't make myself stop.

"You saw your future as Mrs. Fucking Newton, dressed in suits and cocktail gowns every damned day of your life, hosting a bunch of tight-assed pricks and holding a glass of wine in a Manhattan high-rise with fucking jazz music playing in the background while Mike held you by your elbow and paraded you around like a fucking trophy! And you panicked Bella! You panicked and moved your ass half way across the country to give yourself a fighting chance because you were fucking dying out there!" I pointed out the window, as if Manhattan were right across the street. "You wanted to see if all that bullshit Mike was feeding you about reality was true, or if you really could make _your_ dreams come true. But most of all," I growled, "you wanted to force Mike's hand and pressure _him_ into breaking off the engagement, because _you_ didn't have the _balls_ to tell him you'd gotten yourself into something you didn't want!"

Bella gasped. Then she dropped her head and started sobbing. I stepped closer and when she took another step back her back hit the wall. I took her chin in my hand, forcing her to meet my eyes.

"Look at me Bella! I know you! You can tell yourself and the rest of the world that you made this move just for your father, to be closer to him, but _I_ know the truth. As much as you made this move for him, you also did it for yourself, because you needed to get away! And you know what? I'm glad! I'm _so fucking glad_ you panicked and got the hell out of there! But you made one little mistake Bella love," I snorted cynically. "You forgot how tenacious your fiancée is. The fucking guy's been chasing you since high school Bella!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, all the while she stood there, crying and glaring at me, but the truth was written all over her face. "You should've figured he wouldn't give up that easily! For how smart you are Bella," I tapped my temple, "sometimes you don't think!"

"I had no choice!" she cried angrily.

"Yes! You did!" I disagreed, running a hand through my hair. "You got yourself into this mess for your father but had you really spoken to him, told at least _him_ the truth, you would've known this was _never_ what he wanted for you. You could've spoken to my dad too! Or my mom…maybe they would've told _me_-"

Her eyes widened. And then suddenly she snorted. "Told you? Why in the world would they have told you?"

I swallowed thickly, but my mouth had suddenly gone dry, as if a piece of sandpaper were lodged in my throat. And as verbal as I'd just been a few seconds ago, now I had no words. My argument with my mother a few weeks ago came back to me.

_"She called you before you left for college...and you didn't take her call…when you came home I mentioned her a couple of times...you always changed the subject and made it clear you didn't want to talk about her…so after a while I dropped it..._

I swallowed thickly, but there was no saliva in my throat. Bella searched my eyes carefully, and then something in her expression changed; hardened. She shook her head angrily and pushed my hand off of her chin.

"_You_ pushed me away Edward!" she hissed. "_You_ didn't want anything to do with me, remember? I got a nice view of the back of your head the last time I saw you before coming to Seattle!"

"I…I didn't think you cared one way or the other-"

"You _heard_ me calling you and you ran! Do you have any idea how long I held out hope after you left Forks, waiting for a simple email…a phone call? Something! Anything!" she yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. "Something as simple as 'hi, what's up, how are you doing?' Stupid, fucking me," she snorted, shaking her head. "Holding out for a guy who thought so little of me he never even said goodbye!"

"Bella, I didn't know-"

A strange smile touched her lips, raising the fine hair on my arms. "You want to know something Edward? I don't give a _damn_ what Mike says you did in college. What kills me is that while you were busy fucking your way through all the sorority girls at UDub" – she pressed one hand against her chest – "_I_ couldn't stop dreaming of you, or wondering what _I'd_ done wrong to make you run from me and never look back! Why you didn't even want to be _my friend_ Edward! You stand there now and judge me, and ask me why I didn't tell you about the six month deadline or the job, or the apartment? Because you weren't around! I had to finish school, and my dad was sick, and Mike was telling me he loved me and he'd help me, and then he asked me to marry him, and I'd forgotten what it felt like to _really_ _feel for someone…" _– she closed her eyes and her voice quivered – "…and then he told me to come in for an interview, 'just an interview,' he said. And the next thing I know they're asking me to sign here and here and I hadn't even graduated from college yet! How many kids still in college can say they've got a six-figure salary waiting for them?"

She waited for an answer, but I had none to give.

"And God help me _yes_" – she continued, pulling the top of her hair – "I needed the money for Charlie, and I knew Charlie would've hated the idea so I didn't tell him. And me and Al argued but…" – she shook her head again, dropping it heavily. Her head shot up suddenly and she glared at me. "But you _ran_ from me and never looked back!"

I moved closer to her, so close I could smell the strawberries in her hair, see the flames in her eyes. I could practically _feel_ her heart beating as wildly as mine. It made me dizzy. But fire burned in my veins. I rested my palms against the wall on either side of her, caging her in.

"I was _fucking_ Crusty Cullen Bella!"

She grabbed the sides of my shirt fiercely, fisting her hands into the material. "You were _never_ Crusty Cullen Edward! You were Edward Cullen! Beautiful, smart, talented-"

"That day sitting on the grass outside of school," I reminded her hotly, "I thought you'd chosen _him_ over me. You want to talk about being hurt? That killed me Bella!" I slammed the wall on either side of her, bringing my face so close to her I could feel her heavy breaths fanning across my face. "To know you were going to prom with _him_! To picture _his_ arms around you, _his_ mouth on yours," I hissed through clenched teeth.

She chuckled humorlessly. "Too bad you couldn't have been a little fly on the wall at that prom; it would've put all your worries to rest!" She snorted. "The night your father told me that Charlie was dying, do you know it was _your_ arms I ached for while I cried myself to sleep?" Her words were like a steel knife in my chest. "Even though I had no idea what they'd feel like, even though you'd made it clear to me years ago that I meant _nothing_ to you, it was _always_ _your_ _face_ I saw behind my eyelids, your eyes I dreamt of." She closed her eyes, and when she opened them back up, they were dark and burning again. "I _never_ chose him over you. _You_ never gave me a choice."

"Why didn't you tell me afterwards?" I insisted, her warm body so close to mine I could almost feel every curve against me. I struggled to stay focused. "Jesus Bella, you've had weeks to tell me…"

"The night I bumped into you I'd been here in Seattle for over two months Edward," she finally said, her voice shaky but firm. "I'd found nothing, and Alice was paying my way while Mike paid for my father. Do you think that was easy for me? I've always taken care of myself and now I was out of school and I couldn't even make a living for _myself_, much less take care of Charlie. And all the time that damn job's taunting me; waiting for me in New York." She bit her lip and closed her eyes. "The week before, Mike had been up. He told me I was wasting my time, and how I should just come back to New York, and that he'd found the perfect apartment for us..." She met my eyes. "My head was about to explode Edward! No matter what I did, I couldn't find my way out! And he said something about apartment leases, and I just…" She sighed heavily and then snorted. "And then Al gave me a crash course in bar-tending and I showed up at Eclipse…"

It was she that reached out for me then, lifting her hands to where mine rested around her and lacing her fingers with my own.

"I tried to tell you Edward…but the words never seemed to come out. When I told you Mike and I hadn't thought that far ahead," she said fiercely, "I didn't mean to lie, but I knew the transfer was _never_ going to happen. All Mike's plans revolved around my going back to New York, and seeing you again took me by surprise…and _yes_," she choked huskily, "I should've had the _balls_ to say something, but…I…I'd never expected to see you again, and I couldn't think straight, and the last time I'd seen you you'd run from me and I didn't want you to run from me again and I looked in your eyes and they were even deeper and more beautiful than I remembered and yes, I was engaged but God, all I wanted was for you to kiss me Edward."

My eyes widened. My hands twitched around hers, and my heart pounded wildly in my chest. Bella continued, the words just pouring out of her with no filter, the way they had the night before. Except this time she wasn't drunk.

"I wanted to finally feel your lips on mine, and your arms wrapped around my-"

My mouth was on hers so suddenly that I wasn't sure who initiated it, but that was unimportant; peripheral. What mattered was that she kissed me back with a hunger that knocked the air out of me, wrapping her arms around my neck and fisting the hair on the back of my head. I wrapped my arms around her slender waist and held her up and against me, and she hitched her legs up around my waist, bringing the warm spot between her legs in direct contact with my groin.

I groaned into her mouth and she whimpered against my lips.

"Like this?" I asked, brushing my lips against hers.

"_Yes_, just like this…"

Our mouths crashed against each other frenziedly, and we tasted each other's lips with a desperation over six years in the making. Jesus, Bella was in my arms, kissing me passionately, and she wasn't drunk or sleeping. Good thing, because all my self control was out the window the second my lips touched hers. I had no idea how long I had here, but I'd use every second to show her that here, in my arms, was where she belonged.

But I had no more time to think because Bella's hot tongue shot out and plunged deep into my mouth unapologetically. I groaned into her mouth, reveling in the feel of her tongue entwined with mine. Her hands moved to either side of my face and I savored the feel of her warms hands on my skin…

…and then I went still, my hands resting tentatively on either side of her butt as I held her up and against the wall.

I searched her eyes.

"It's gone," she murmured against my mouth, her long eyelashes fluttering slowly as she studied me. "I gave it back. I was going to give it back Edward, and when Mike showed up at the loft today I was trying to talk to him and tell him that I…" – she locked me in her gaze - "that I wasn't going back to New York because…"

I closed my eyes tightly. An unimaginable wave of relief coursed through me. I could admit the truth to myself now. _That_ had been my fear; my pain. The anger at her lies had been secondary, just a wall to hide behind.

"Because what?" I hissed, tightening my hold on her bottom. She held me captive with her chocolate eyes.

"Yeah, I may be just a friggin' barmaid," she said defiantly. "I mix drinks for a living and in between I joke around with my friends and watch crappy eighties movies and drink beer and eat pizza and I paint _whenever and whatever I want_, and you and I take long walks and you put up with my shitty guitar stringing and I watch you smile and your eyes…and I'm close to my dad and I can't for the life of me imagine being any where else than here, with _you. _And I can't go back, because-"

She gasped when I pressed my body even more tightly against hers. But this time there was an excited gleam in her eyes.

"You want to know the main reason why you're not going back?" I growled lowly.

"_Why_?" she asked intently, lifting an eyebrow.

"Because _You. Are_. _Mine_ Bella, and this time I'm not letting go."

She wrapped her arms around me again, her body melting and molding itself against mine as if they'd always been waiting to connect with each other. My lips moved against hers expertly, as if they'd known hers forever and knew exactly how to move with them. Our tongues danced against each others just as rhythmically. She gasped for air when my mouth left hers and trailed down her jaw, leaving kisses everywhere before lowering down to her neck. I groaned against it, tasting the sweetness of her skin; so much sweeter than I'd even imagined in my dreams.

"Say it," I growled against her heated skin, licking and nipping her neck as she raised it higher to give me better access. "Out loud. Say you know you're mine Bella."

"I'm yours, Edward" she breathed, her hands lost in my hair, fisting and pulling on it intently. "Always. _Always_…"

The fervor in her voice set my soul on fire.

"Yes. Mine. Always," I groaned primitively against her collarbone.

Edward," she fisted my hair harder. "Kiss me. _Please_. I've wanted to feel your lips on me again so badly-"

She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence. I claimed her mouth again, pushing my tongue deep into her mouth. She tasted like lavender and honey and a taste that could only be described as pure Bella. A taste that I instantly knew would become my addiction.

"Edward…" she breathed again when she came up for air. And then quickly brought her mouth back to mine, over and over. I tightened my grip desperately around her plump ass, and when she started pushing her hips against mine, I let out a feral moan. She whimpered and pressed herself in deeper.

"Edward," she mouthed breathlessly.

I was lost. I'd held back all night. First because she'd been drunk, then because she'd been sleeping. But mostly because she'd belonged to someone else, and I didn't want her that way. Bella was more to me than just someone I desired. I needed her in a way I'd never needed anything in my life.

And now she was all mine.

My hips moved against her fluidly, a flame of heat traveling from my scalp to my groin, filling it with blood and hardening it like a steel pipe. And this time, it wasn't just a dream.

"Edward…" she whimpered, bringing her mouth back down and brushing her lips against mine. "I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, and I'm sorry I let my shock get the best of me back at the apartment, but I couldn't leave you Edward. I need you," she breathed in between kisses. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

"Stop," I ordered, kissing her lips firmly. "You weren't going anywhere," I promised her in between my own kisses, our bodies pushing and pulling against each other, searching for more friction. "I wasn't going to let you leave. And I'm sorry too…that I never told you before either…"

"S'okay," she murmured, licking my lips, her hands traveling from my hair to the nape of my neck to my shoulders and back. "S'okay. We're here now…"

The heat between us was scorching. Our hearts beat wildly, and suddenly Bella lowered her hands to the edges of my shirt. I held her up against my knee and lifted my arms up, and in one quick movement she raised it over my head and threw it across the floor.

Our eyes met. My chest heaved heavily, the undisguised lust in her eyes as she bit her lip and slowly moved them down my body exhilarated me. But what made my heart soar were all the other emotions mixed with lust; tenderness, need, passion, respect. And I was sure the same feelings were reflected in my eyes; all swirled together, like one of her paintings. All this time, it had all added up to one thing.

Love.

When I quickly discarded her shirt, it was love that coursed through my veins. And when I gazed at her as she quickly undid the front clasp of her bra and flung it aside, it was love that brought our bodies together, her warm breasts pressed against my bare chest. It was love that brought our mouths together again, panting and searching.

I loved her. And fuck I wanted her.

My mouth moved down her jaw, leaving wet kisses all the way down her collarbone and down to her chest as she trailed her hands up and down my back and along my shoulders, her fingers exploring every inch she touched. And when I took her nipple in my mouth, we both moaned from the thrill and Bella threw her head back, arching her chest into me and gripping my hair as if for dear life.

"Edward…I need you…" she murmured in my ear, taking my ear lobe into her mouth, "…I want you…_please_…"

_Please_. Just like our dreams. But _this_ was _real_.

I balanced her on my leg again and wrapped my hands around her face.

"Are you sure?" I panted weakly, calling on the very last drop of restraint I had left and begging she'd say-

"Yes, yes," she nodded vehemently. "I'm sure. I've never been so sure-"

I cut her off with another kiss. Frantic hands quickly went down to my pants and undid the button and zipper. She unwrapped her legs from my waist and I put her down and with her eyes locked on mine, her beautiful chest heaving up and down, she reached out swiftly and pulled my pants and boxers down together. I stepped out of them anxiously, blood pounding heavily in every single extremity, and reached out and quickly undid her pants. I lowered my head and kissed her, pushing my tongue into her mouth, and broke away from the kiss to lower her pants and panties at once, the way she had, and felt her step out from them.

Our eyes met again, and Bella reached up and wrapped her arms around me once more. I lowered my hands to her bare hips.

"I…I think I may have a condom in my-"

Her smoldering eyes burned through me. "Have you always used one?" she panted.

I swallowed thickly and nodded, barely able to breathe, much less form words at this point.

"Every time?"

I nodded again vehemently.

"Me too. And I'm on the pill. Don't use one now," she whispered, sucking on my lips desperately. "I want to feel _you_ moving inside me," she pleaded breathlessly, "with nothing between us. Please Edward. _Please_."

Already on the brink of exploding, I picked her up and pushed her against the wall again and with no further delays thrust deep inside her. We both gasped, our eyes growing wide, and then Bella tightened her legs around me and used the wall as leverage to push against me. I groaned from the imaginable heat. She was so fucking unbelievably tight and I knew I'd never been inside someone that hot and tight in my fucking life.

"Oh Edward…Edward…" Bella moaned beautifully, using her heels and the walls to push and pull against me. I wrapped my hands tight around her ass and plunged in and out, my eyes rolling to the back of my head from the friction and the heat.

"Jesus Bella you're burning. So tight…"

"Edward…yes…so hard…Edward…_yesss_…" she cried against my lips.

Just like my dreams. But real.

"I dreamt of you. Always I dreamt of you…" I murmured, rocking against her frantically. I lowered my mouth to her neck and sucked on it desperately, knowing it would probably leave a mark but too fucking gone to care.

"Bella…."

"Edward…"

And then I held her tightly and without pulling out from her I pulled her away from the wall and towards my desk. She gave a little cry of surprise, before wrapping her whole body tightly around me, still pushing against me. I groaned and lowered her carefully to the edge of my desk. Still inside her, I bent over and stretched an arm across the desk, ready to push everything off.

"Edward, wait!" Bella breathed heavily. "The laptop! The spreadsheets!"

I stared at her.

"I'll re-do them for you," she breathed quickly.

I grinned and quickly pushed everything off the desk. She laid back and looked up at me, eyes full of want, and I thrust into her as far as I could go.

"Ungh!" she cried. "Edward!"

Thrust after thrust, she writhed and moaned, and I watched her, my heart pounding so heavily I was sure it would either burst or pop out of my chest. Her breasts bounced up and down with each thrust, and her hair was splayed wildly all over my desk. Her lips turned up in a small grin of total abandon while her arms searched wildly for something to grip on to, finally settling for the edges of the desk. When she licked her lips and opened and closed her eyes languidly, I knew I'd never seen anything so fucking erotic in my whole life. And I knew I wouldn't last much longer. My hips ground into her with greater force and speed, and Bella met me thrust for thrust. And suddenly I felt her walls contracting.

"Edward…yes Edward…I'm coming…"

"I know love. I can feel you tightening around me…you feel so fucking good…"

Her eyes widened, and then her back arched off the desk while her whole body shuddered and convulsed under me as she cried my name over and over. And just like in my dream, I watched myself pumping in and out of her, slick and wet from her orgasm.

And exploded inside her while her walls still contracted around me.

"Bella!" I moaned, pumping once, twice more, emptying myself inside her, and then finally fell heavily over her. Our sweaty bodies came together as one, and Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, placing soft, tender kisses against it and my temple as both our hearts lay against one another, slowly returning to a steady, even rhythm.

"Edward…" she whispered; calmly, tiredly this time.

"Bella…" I responded in the same sated and tired whisper.

After a few minutes, I realized Bella was lying over a hard, cold desk, so I picked her up in my arms and guided us to my chair, where I sat down and placed her sideways over my lap, her body still limp and pliable. But she snuggled into me when we sat down and I wrapped her in my arms to keep her warm.

"Are you okay?"

"Mmhmm," she murmured lazily. I wished I could see her eyes.

"Was this too soon?" I asked.

She chuckled once. "Not for me." But she kept her head in the crook of my neck and I could only see the top of her hair.

A disturbing thought suddenly occurred to me. "Bella," I whispered intently, "you know what he said about me playing games…that's not true…you're not a game."

She finally lifted her head, slowly, and met my eyes. They were exhausted, slightly glazed, but full of peace and conviction.

"I know that Edward. He said a lot of things. I know now what kind of person he's been all along."

I breathed out in relief, and ran one hand gently up and down the side of her face.

"You have to tell me what he said to you, when you gave back the ring."

She nodded slowly, solemnly. "I will. I'll tell you everything. But…" – she cocked her head to the side – "do you really want to talk about it now?"

I thought about it for two seconds. "No. Not now. Now is just about you and me. We'll talk about it later. When I pick you up from work and take you home with me."

She smiled widely, satisfied. "Okay." Then she lowered her head back into the crook of my neck and shifted to snuggle deeper into me. And unbelievably, I could feel myself getting hard again. But she deserved more than just a quick fuck in my office next time. We'd both been wild and frenzied from a long, confusing night. And while it had been fucking great, I wouldn't do that to her again. My mind was clear now. She was mine, and next time I'd properly show her how mine she really was.

"I'm sorry I didn't make our first time together more special."

"It was perfect. Besides, I'm not going anywhere. We have all the time in the world."

"You're right. You're not going anywhere." I kissed the top of her head and then carefully took her chin in my hand to guide her eyes to me once more.

"And from now on, we'll deal with everything going on in both our lives…together," I emphasized.

Her eyes bore into mine, and she searched them carefully. Finally she smiled; a soft, tender and content smile. "Yes Edward. We will."

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><p><strong>AN: Thoughts? **

**We're almost there guys. A handful of chapters left. I will probably start posting the first couple of chapters of the new story in a couple of weeks. FBIward won out by a small margin, but don't worry Knightward fans, I'll still be posting the Knight story; it'll just come after FBIward. So if you don't have me on Author Alert, make sure you put me on it if you're interested in reading either one of those.**

**And I'd like to thank you all for knowing the difference between sending me reviews where you tell me how angry you are at Bella and the way she behaved last chapter, and just plain old telling me that the last few chapters have been contrived and my plot is nonsensical. As I've said before in this story and my others, I love hearing from you guys, even when you don't agree with what I'm writing. You can tell me you hated the chapter, or that you're still mad at Bella, or Edward, or that you disagree with any myriad of events in the story; or any other opinions you may have; we're all entitled to our thoughts. But if you review to tell me that the plot is contrived and that you won't be recommending the story to your friends because you think it sucks, well, is it **_**really**_** necessary to tell me that? Is that constructive criticism, or just criticism for the sake of criticism? It makes me wonder why one certain person who is so obviously bothered by the story is still reading it?**

**Thanks!**


	21. Chapter 20  Can't Buy Me Love

**A/N: Here you go guys. **

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing around with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

**Chapter 20 – Can't Buy Me Love**

**Chapter Song Rec: _The Reason_ by Hoobastank**

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><p>I held Bella's hand tightly in mine between us on the short ride to Nitelock; our fingers intertwined while I traced small circles with my thumb inside her palm. She sighed and tightened her grip, keeping her eyes forward and staring out of the windshield. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the peaceful, content expression on her beautiful face. I took a deep breath, letting the scent of <em>her<em> fill my lungs and wash over me. With a small smile on my own face, brought on by the knowledge that time with Bella was no longer borrowed, I let it out slowly.

It had been a surreal twenty-four hours: Bella lying in my arms in her bed, my fist connecting with Mike's face, followed by the indescribable pain at the thought that Bella would be leaving me. And now…

Now the joy I felt was beyond words. I grinned to myself. Yeah, that's exactly what I was right now. Beyond words.

The ride to Nitelock had been quiet – Bella and I were both lost in our own thoughts – but it had been a peaceful ride, especially compared to the turbulent scene in my office less than an hour ago, the fighting, the yelling, and then the uh…the make up.

My grin widened.

"What are you grinning about?" Bella asked with a smile in her voice.

I chuckled guiltily and brought our intertwined hands up to my mouth, placing a soft kiss on her hand.

"I'm smiling because you're here..." I answered honestly "…and you're mine." There was no apology or shame in my tone.

Out of my periphery I could see her turn to look at me with a smirk and one eyebrow raised.

"You _are_ aware that means you're mine too, right?"

I gave her a quick sidelong glance. "Trust me Bella, I've been aware of that for a long while now."

Bella brought our hands to her lips, kissing my knuckles carefully.

"Are you sure your hand's okay?"

I smirked. "My hand's just fine."

She nodded and brought her eyes to the windshield again.

We still had a lot to talk about; but we'd agreed not to talk about the dickhead just yet. _Now_ was for us. _Now_ was to give us just a little time to relish in the knowledge that we'd _finally_ found our way to one another; that we'd surpassed the biggest obstacles between us, and that no matter what obstacles still remained, we'd be facing them _together_.

And of course, _now_ was to bask in the afterglow of the fact that we'd just had the most mind-blowing, hot-ass, fantasy-fulfilling sex imaginable.

I brought my eyes to Bella. She grinned impishly, her creamy cheeks obviously flushed even in the dimness of the car.

Yeah, she was basking too.

After work tonight, she'd be coming home with me, and _then_ we'd talk about everything else. I knew that fucker-whose-name-I-refused-to-even-think-of-at-the-moment wasn't going to just take getting his ass _and_ his ring handed to him lying down.

I chuckled internally. He'd taken the ass-handing lying down.

But the internal chuckle soon died away and was replaced by an internal cringe.

Bella – _my Bella_ – owed that fuckface a shitload of money, and she'd signed an agreement to take a job back at his office.

I knew now what kind of asshole Mike was - what kind of asshole he'd been all along – and with all the pieces of the puzzle I now had, it wasn't hard to put two and two together. The loan, Bella's signature on the job agreement, the signature he would've gotten on the apartment lease if she hadn't finally realized she couldn't live a lie - they'd all been ways of tying her to him. And under normal circumstances, when dealing with a reasonable person, they were all agreements which could be worked out or dissolved without too much trouble. But working things out easily had never been Mike's intention. He'd meant to bind her; to make it harder and harder for her to pull away from her life in New York; to tangle her into _his_ life.

But he'd made a couple of mistakes when he'd set up his game. The Bella he was trying to tie down didn't exist, and therefore couldn't be bound.

His other mistake?

He hadn't counted on _me_.

I stole another look at Bella – _my Bella_ – and turned back to the windshield, trying to hide my flaring nostrils and clenched jaw in the darkness of the cabin.

_I_ would get her out of this, no matter what I had to do.

Bella's soft voice broke through my building fury. "What are you thinking about now?" she asked softly, as if reading my mind.

I squared my jaw and shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. She stared at me, and then leaned over and pressed her mouth gently to mine. And even though I'd been buried deep inside of her less than an hour ago, something as simple as her mouth on mine was enough to jolt every single part of me into awareness all at once. We both groaned quietly as her lips brushed against mine.

"_Now_ is just about you and me," she murmured, pulling away. "Remember?"

Her words excited and soothed me all at once. The tension that had been slowly building immediately fell away. I let go of her hand and brought my arm around her shoulder, pulling her into my side. She molded herself into me, just like a missing piece, and sighed contentedly.

"I remember," I agreed.

We'd work it all out later, after work.

And then we'd have some more mind-blowing, all-consuming, hot-as-all-hell sex.

OOOOOOOOOO

When we got to Nitelock, Jasper and Alice were standing outside the club, leaning against the wall while Alice leaned against him. Their eyes followed me carefully as I got out of the car and walked over to Bella's side to open the door for her. And as soon as Alice saw us walk hand in hand towards them her face broke out in a grin almost as big as her body and she pulled herself away from Jasper to walk over to meet us, clapping her hands excitedly as Jasper looked on, smirking.

"Yay!" she cheered, "You guys worked everything out! Finally!"

Bella smiled up at me and I grinned, leaning down to plant a quick kiss on her. Except my mouth lingered over hers for quite a few seconds longer than planned as we both alternated tasting each other's lips.

"Holy shit, and you had sex!" Alice cried suddenly, coming to stand in front of us. Bella and I both pulled away quickly and stared at her. Alice covered her mouth with one hand. She gazed at us, blinking successively, and then wrapped her small arms around both our waists, digging her head into both our sides. "I'm so happy for you both," she squeaked emotionally, her mouth muffled against us. Before either Bella or I could react, Alice lifted her head and her gaze moved from Bella back to me.

"What a friggin' night, huh?" She looked over at me sheepishly. "Edward, you're not mad at me are you? For telling you to leave earlier? Things got crazy and I just wanted to calm-"

"Alice," I cut her off, "you were looking after Bella. I'm not mad at you."

Alice grinned widely again. "See? _You_ understand me." Her grin turned into a scowl. "B, you told Edward right? How you chucked _his_ ass out, ring in one hand, bloody nose in the other? Ahh, it was priceless," she exclaimed, raising her chin high to the sky.

I turned to Bella, raising my brows.

She smirked, getting on her tiptoes to kiss me quickly this time.

"Later," she promised.

Alice chuckled and looked from Bella to me carefully. "Yeah. Later," she agreed, putting one hand out in front of us and moving it around in a circle. "You don't want to ruin that post-coital glow you've both got going on with talk of _him_."

Even in the dark I could see Bella's cheeks burn red.

"Alice," I warned, smirking.

"Alright, alright," she chuckled. Then she leaned in and whispered something in Bella's ear that had her turn an even brighter shade of red, though whatever it was made her grin widely and nod.

Alice cried out smugly and did a fist pump in the air. "Yes! I knew it!"

"I don't think I even want to know what that's about," I said dryly.

Alice chuckled wickedly. "Oh trust me Edward, you do."

Bella elbowed her in the ribs and Alice laughed harder. "Ow!"

After a few minutes of joking around, Alice accompanied Bella inside, whispering something in Bella's ear that earned her another elbow to the ribs.

"That Alice a'mine's one little minx," Jasper said proudly, walking up behind me. I snorted my agreement and turned around.

Jasper put a fist out in front of him. "So all's good man?"

I met his fist with my own. "Yeah. All's good."

"Good."

And that was it.

See, unlike Alice, and most women in the world, we men didn't need every single gory detail analyzed and narrated frame by frame.

All's good?

Yeah?

'Nuff said.

Jasper and I stared at each other for a few seconds while I rubbed my chin with two fingers.

"So what the fuck happened after I left?"

"Fuck man, you should'a been there!" Jasper blurted, as if the words had been burning a hole in his tongue.

Alright. So maybe we needed just a little more detail.

"Tell me."

"So that fucker and his nose are making a big fucking mess all over Al and B's sofa" – he grimaced – "which is pissing me off no end 'cause that's the one she and I get busy in when no one's home and-"

"Stick to the relevant facts please."

"Okay," he chuckled. "So he's whining and brooding, 'Ow, that asshole broke my nose!'" - Jasper continued, mimicking said asshole's whiny tone and making it impossible for my lips not to twitch - "and I'm like, 'you better get the fuck up and out man'" – he jerked his thumb behind him to illustrate - "'Ed's got a fucking black belt to go with that temper and he may just decide to come back and use it.' Man, you should've seen the asshole's eyes practically bulge out of their sockets," Jasper chuckled heartily while I snorted. Then he crossed his arms. "So I'm waiting there with my arms crossed in front of me for him to finally get his ass up and out, and he starts yelling 'Bella! Get out here! Get out here Bella!'"

I had to admit, up to that point I'd been amused and, okay, maybe a bit a smug. But when Jasper said the fucker started calling Bella out, the smile fell from my face and I felt my body stiffen.

"So at this point I'm debating finishing the job myself," Jasper practically growled. "But then Bella comes out-"

"Wait!" I snapped, putting a hand up. "She came out?"

Jasper nodded.

I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly, breathing out through my nostrils.

"But wait!" Jasper said, "Listen to this part. She-"

"Wait, wait, wait," I urged him again, putting a hand up once more. "Don't tell me any more."

Jasper frowned.

"Bella said we'd talk about it after work. I'm just…" - I huffed and ran my hand through my hair – "I'm just going to wait to hear it from her."

"You sure?" he asked, sounding almost disappointed.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay," Jasper shrugged, kicking the air in front of him with one foot and sticking his hands deep in his pockets.

"Yo Ed," he asked half a minute later, watching me curiously, "what the hell was all that Crusty Cullen bullshit that asshole kept spewing back there?"

I pursed my lips and snorted. "That was a nickname he made up for me back in high school. Crusty Cullen." I repeated, pausing. "Because I had a bad case of acne and wore thick glasses."

"The fuck outta here," Jasper snorted, glaring at me incredulously. When I failed to say I was just joking, he snorted again, shaking his head.

"You know, my voice didn't change 'til senior year of high school."

I pursed my lips and shook my head doubtfully.

"It's true!" he assured me with a slightly bitter chuckle. "They used to call me Whiney Whitlock on account of the fact that I sounded like a whiney little girl whenever I opened my mouth. People used to call the house and I'd answer and they'd think it was Rose on the other line." He shook his head, a far away and long ago look crossing his face. "In school I was so embarrassed to talk that I never asked anyone out. Wasn't 'til freshman year of college I finally got the balls to start datin'."

"You're fucking with me," I grinned.

"Does that sound like something I'd make up just to fucking bond with you or something?"

We both chuckled.

"Anyway, so fucking what?" Jasper exclaimed, shuffling his feet. "So you had acne and I sounded more like Rose than Rose did. What about that fucker, what was he, like some big shot jock or something?"

I twisted my lips into a snarl and nodded.

"Well look at us now man. Never mind the fact that we're not half bad-looking, if I do say so myself," he grinned, blowing on his knuckles before rubbing them on his shirt. "We've got two of the most beautiful, smart and talented girls in the world in love with us. Who cares about high school?"

And though I had to agree, it was what he'd said about 'in love with us' that had left my mouth hanging.

"What?" Jasper asked, puzzled by my expression. He smiled slowly. "Don't tell me you didn't know she's crazy in love with you?"

I'd lost my voice.

Jasper clapped me on the back. "Well Ed, I don't know 'bout you bein' crusty, but you sure as hell are one slow motherfucker, 'cause the rest of us have known that shit for quite some time now."

OOOOOOOOOO

I spent the next hour or so cleaning up the mess Bella and I had made in my office while we uhm…fought… – a broken lamp I had _no idea_ how or when we'd knocked over, ditto the turned over potted plant, a few skewed frames on the wall, and of course, the mess of pens, papers, paperclips, staples, stapler, etc. to accompany the laptop that had been flung aside carelessly when I'd laid Bella over my desk and ground into her. I grinned widely, my dick twitching at the very recent memory.

Emmett bounded into my office a few minutes after I'd returned from dropping Bella off at work, just as I'd been whistling a happy tune to myself as I rebooted the laptop.

He plopped himself on the chair opposite me and frowned.

"Hey Ed, when'd you get that boombox in your office?"

"What boombox?" I asked distractedly.

"The one with that super bass that was banging up against my walls for about half an hour before. Shit, talk about boom, boom, boom!" He chuckled heartily.

I glared up to find him dancing in his seat with an amused expression.

"_Boom, boom, boom, let's go back to my room! So we could do it all night, and you can make me-"_

I flung a paperweight at him, but was unable to completely suppress the grin that morphed onto my face. Emmett dodged the paperweight and laughed.

"So I guess that means you and Bella worked your shit out?"

"Yeah," I breathed with a smile, "We worked it out."

OOOOOOOOOO

Emmett and I headed for Nitelock a few hours later. He, to pick up Rosalie, and me, anxious as all hell to see Bella again.

She grinned widely and sighed when her eyes met mine across the bar, her expression full of relief; as if in the few hours we'd been apart she'd been as restless as I had. It sent a thrill up my spine, that she would openly look at me that way now, and it made me wonder how much truth there was in what Jasper had said earlier. Had it really been written all over her face that clearly all along?

All along?

Bella and Rose were cleaning up the bar. When Rose caught sight of Em and me, she frowned and pursed her lips, but there was a hint of mirth in her eyes.

"I swear, you Cullen men are seriously animals," she sneered, resting her palms on the bar. I furrowed my brows, looking between her and Bella. Bella shook her head and turned as red as the frilly scarf she was wearing around her neck; a scarf I was pretty sure she hadn't been wearing earlier.

Rose saw me eyeing the scarf curiously and smirked. "I had to tie that around her neck to hide those hickeys you gave her. Next time you're going to suck that hard, at least have the decency to do it in a less conspicuous place."

Emmett, Jasper and Alice burst out laughing. I shook my head guiltily and closed my eyes.

"Rosie baby, go easy on my poor brother there," Emmett chided Rosalie, planting his lips soundly over hers. "The self-control required for properly hidden hickeys is an acquired art form. Just 'cause I know how to strategically situate them all over your body doesn't mean he-"

"Alright, enough!" I growled, putting a hand up, palm out to stop the cracks. I lowered my head to Bella's and moved the scarf aside, touching the pinkish bruises lightly with a finger.

"Jesus, I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I guess I got carried-"

"Don't listen to them," Bella chuckled quietly, her eyes sparkling. "They're not that dark anyway. I didn't even notice them until I went to the ladies room a couple of hours ago." She moved her mouth to my ear and murmured only for me to hear, "Besides, seeing them gives me the most wonderful butterflies in my stomach." Her lips brushed over my ear. "They remind me that what happened back in your office was real, and not just another dream…"

Her words served to raise more than just my goose bumps. Fuck I needed to get her home.

I brought my mouth down to her neck and kissed her bruises gently. "That's exactly how I felt while I was cleaning up the office," I chuckled against her warm skin.

She pulled away and smiled, that beautiful red color all over her face again, and I could only imagine what she was thinking.

"How's the laptop?" she asked impishly.

"A few nicks and scratches, but no worse for the wear."

"That's good," she chuckled.

"Yeah," I agreed with a crooked grin.

We gazed at each other for half a minute.

She pulled back and started wiping off the counter again. "I'll be ready in a few minutes."

"Take your time," I grinned.

Bullshit. If it was up to me I would've slung her over my shoulder caveman style and growled and pushed my way out of there.

She moved away to clean the other end, and then my eyes met Rosalie's.

"God-damned vampire," she grinned wickedly before chuckling and going to help Bella.

We all pitched in to help clean the club up, and then I quickly helped Bella get her jacket on.

"Hey Ed, B," Alice called out, "we're going to order food and play some pool in the back. Are you guys going to stick around and-"

"No!" Bella and I both said in unison, loud and clear, walking away hand in hand.

"Shit Isabella," Alice laughed, "let a person get a sentence out."

We laughed and got the hell out of there before anyone could offer up any more invites or cracks.

OOOOOOOOOO

We stopped by Bella's apartment to pick up an overnight bag for her and Jake.

Yeah. Jake.

According to Bella, Jake had had a rough night. She kissed him on top of his furry brown head when we walked in.

"You were such a good boy last night. Yes, you were," she cooed while he wagged his tongue and his tail happily.

And honestly, remembering the way the mutt growled and snarled at Dickhead, I owed the mongrel big time.

Once Bella was done petting and patting him, Jake sauntered over to me, wagging his tail insistently, and if I didn't know any better, I would've sworn he was smirking smugly. I patted him vigorously.

"Yes, you were a good boy," I agreed with a chuckle.

Jake and I had bonded over a mutual enemy – we'd both drawn blood from the same prick. The way I saw it, we were sort of blood brothers now. The least I could do was allow him to sleep under my roof.

And throw a big fat juicy steak his way come morning.

Back at my apartment, while Bella took Jake's leash off and settled his doggy bed and supplies wherever they needed to go, I took her bag into my bedroom. When I came back into the living room, she was standing by the window, staring off at the Puget; the city's blurry lights bounced off of the water and made it sparkle like black onyx.

I walked up behind her and carefully wrapped my arms around her waist. She lifted her hands and laced her fingers through my own. I rested my chin on her shoulder, suddenly unsure about what came next.

"Are you hungry?"

She shook her head. "Rosalie and I shared an order of wings. How about you?"

"Emmett and I ordered another pizza pie and he was kind enough to save me a slice."

She chuckled shakily.

"Thirsty?"

She shook her head again.

We were silent for a while, both of us staring at the rain falling diagonally across the window. Over by the sofa, I could hear Jake snoring quietly on his doggy pillow.

"Everything okay?"

She'd been quiet again on the ride back to my apartment, but this time I'd detected a note of anxiety in her silence.

She didn't answer right away and my mind immediately started imagining the worst.

"I'm…a bit nervous," she finally murmured in a shaky voice.

I trailed my hands up her sides, resting them on her shoulders and holding her tightly.

"Why are you nervous?" I forced myself to ask, though I was afraid to hear her answer.

She turned herself around to face me, meeting my eyes while she bit her lip.

"What happened before…in your office…" She was trembling now. "...I…don't want you to think that I…" she trailed off and looked away, biting down on her lip furiously. I lifted her chin and forced her to meet my eyes again.

"You don't want me to think that you what?" I asked gently, holding my breath while I waited for her answer.

She gazed at me apprehensively, searching my eyes, and sighed before answering.

"The last time Mike was here, that night the four of us went out for drinks…after he picked me up that night and we went back to the hotel he was staying at…"

I automatically stiffened, my jaw instinctively locking together. I wasn't sure if this was something I wanted to hear.

She drew in a deep breath before continuing, dropping her eyes to my shoulders. Her hands moved nervously back and forth over them. "I'd spent the past few weeks hanging out with you, and we'd just spent almost two hours together having drinks, and even on my way home with Mike, I couldn't get my mind off of _you_…"

I lowered my head to her field of vision. "What are you saying Bella?"

She met my eyes. "I was just so tired and so god-damned confused when we got back to the hotel. My feet ached from standing up for so long, and my head was pounding from all the noise and the band's music…and my brain and my heart hurt…and your voice echoed in my mind over everything. All I could see were your eyes and I just couldn't…" – she shook her head quickly and then her brown eyes dug into mine intently – "He and I…we haven't been together _like that _in a long while. I don't want you to think that I'd go from being with _him_ that way to being with _you_ that way so quickly-"

I wrapped my hands around her face and cut her off. "Bella, do you seriously think I would ever hold your relationship with him against you in any way? You were in a long-standing, serious relationship with him," I said, though the words burned my throat. "Is it something I want to think about? No," I snorted honestly. I traced her lips with one finger. "In a perfect world _I_ would've been your first…we would've been each other's only." She smiled sadly. "But I gave up the right to make that a reality the day I left Forks without looking back."

We were both silent for a long while.

"Did you ever think of me Edward?" she whispered, her eyes searching mine. "After you left Forks. In college. Did I ever cross your mind?"

"Bella, I've spent the past six years putting you out of my mind," I said truthfully.

She drew in a sharp breath, and an almost silent whimper escaped from between her lips. But she nodded and broke away from our gaze.

"Bella look at me," I asked in a whisper. Her eyes fell on me for a split second before moving away again, her bottom lip quivering.

"Please, look at me," I pleaded again, holding her head between my hands firmly until slowly, reluctantly, she met my gaze again, her expression tense, wary; hurt.

"I convinced myself that anything and everything I'd thought I'd felt for you was just a lie, a stupid teenaged crush." The corners of her eyes glistened, and I caressed her face, moving in closer to her. "But at night, when I'd be sleeping, there, you'd always be. _Every_ night." I ran one hand through her soft hair. "I'd see your long brown hair," – I traced her lips with one finger – "your pouty pink lips," – I moved my finger to brush under one eye and then the other – "I'd lose myself in these dark, beautiful eyes…" – I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly – "So yes, I thought of you, even when I was consciously trying not to."

She stared at me, studying my eyes, my nose, my mouth. And then she lifted one hand and traced my cheeks with the tips of her fingers, moving down my jaw line and across to the other side.

"I didn't know…"

"I know you didn't," I murmured, lowering my hands and wrapping them around her waist. "And I'm sorry I-"

"I didn't know he'd started the whole thing," she scowled suddenly. I frowned.

"The whole Crusty Cullen thing." She choked around the words. "Back at the apartment, after you left…I couldn't think straight Edward," she moaned apologetically. "Everything happened so quickly. But the look in your eyes…it killed me because I knew you'd been blindsided, and I knew _I_ should've been the one to tell you. You looked so betrayed…so _angry_." She closed her eyes and shook her head vehemently.

"After you left, I heard him calling for me-"

I stiffened. This was what Jasper had started telling me about.

"and suddenly, _I felt so angry_," she hissed. "He'd been provoking you all along, and then he called you that…hateful name-"

"_That's_ not what provoked me Bella," I said coolly.

"Well it provoked _me_," she seethed. "I'd wanted to do things the right way, Edward. To explain things to him properly; I felt I owed him that much."

"After the way he's treated you Bella?" I snarled incredulously, dropping my hands. "You didn't owe him shit! What he deserved was to have that ring shoved up his-"

She wrapped her arms around my neck quickly, and the feel of her warm hands in my hair soothed and calmed me. I didn't finish my sentence, but I couldn't completely clear the scowl from my expression, or the way my breathing had suddenly gotten heavier.

"Edward, listen to me. I told you I'd tell you everything right?"

I nodded tensely, my nostrils flaring.

"The truth is Edward that I've been unfaithful to Mike since the second I turned around in that street a couple of months ago and saw you standing there, since the moment I jumped into your arms and wrapped myself around you."

"No, you weren't!" I said sharply. "You and I _never_ fooled around behind his back. He has _nothing_ to accuse you of." As much as _I_ may have wanted to, Bella had _always_ kept me at arm's length.

"Maybe not so much physically." She agreed, taking one of my hands and wrapping hers around it before placing it on her chest, over her heart. "But in here, I was unfaithful." Her heart beat quickly, like a bird fluttering its wings. "In here, I disregarded our engagement and gave myself to you completely."

I swallowed thickly. I knew her words were meant to make me understand why she'd felt she'd been unfaithful to Dickhead, but all I heard was the fact that her heart belonged to me, and it made my own heart soar.

"When he arrived at the loft last night, I could see in his eyes that he knew I wouldn't be going back to New York, but he refused to accept it because he was angry, and no matter what, at that moment he had a right to his anger."

I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly. "Bella-" I said through clenched teeth.

"But he had no right," she continued in a steely tone, "to the venom that spewed from his mouth towards you."

"Or towards you Bella," I growled, tightening my hold around her waist.

"Or towards me," she confirmed. "So when I came out to meet him after you left, I wasn't feeling quite as concerned about his feelings anymore. Then to top it all off he was bleeding all over the sofa," she grimaced, "and Jasper looked about ready to deck him too, because you know, he and Alice have their happy times on that sofa. They think I don't know but-"

"Bella."

"Sorry, got off track there. I walked past both of them and went into the kitchen to get a towel for the sofa and he came in after me."

"Did he touch you?" I growled, holding her waist between my hands tightly; possessively. If he'd put so much as a finger on her-

"No, no," she assured me quickly. "Edward, if I'd known he started that whole Crusty Cullen thing, if I'd known how mean and hateful he really was, I would've _never_ spoken to him again at that party back in college. I would've _never_-"

I pulled her body against mine, keeping her face just a few inches away so that I could still look in her eyes.

"Listen to me," I said intently. "I don't care anymore what he had to say about me, not back in high school, and not now."

"But I do!" she cried vehemently. "Because I should've known! I should've seen what kind of man he was and I didn't! I let him hurt you then and I let him hurt you now!"

We locked eyes. "The only way he hurts me is by hurting you."

She held my gaze and drew in a shaky breath. "He stood behind me while I was running the towel under the faucet and started saying some nonsense about getting my stuff ready and leaving right away. And then I turned around" – she smiled bitterly – "and he just stopped talking. He looked in my eyes and finally went silent. I held out the towel for him in one hand, and in the other…I held out his ring."

I couldn't help the way my lips twitched, regardless of how smug or petty the action may have appeared.

"I was tired Edward," she admitted in a drained voice. "Tired of being someone I didn't want to be, tired of denying to myself where my heart really was. I waited for him to yell and scream, but he simply took the towel and held it up to his nose, and took the ring and stuck it in his pocket. I think he saw in my eyes that…enough was enough. And that was it," she shrugged.

I took her chin in my hand. "He said nothing else to you?"

She bit her lip. "It doesn't…matter."

"Tell me," I said firmly.

"It's nothing I wasn't already expecting Edward."

I locked her in my gaze. She sighed heavily.

"He reminded me that the job agreement I signed stated that the corporation would be within their legal rights to seek compensation for any damages my withdrawal would cost them and that…his lawyer would be in touch with me to transfer all costs related to Charlie's medical care back to me as well as to set up a payment plan for the money I owe him."

I closed my eyes. "Motherfucker," I growled.

"It's a relief Edward," she breathed, getting on her tip toes to wrap her hands around my face. I opened my eyes up slowly. "This is how it should've always been. I was wrong to let it go on this long. I feel _relieved_ now. And the corporation…if they decide I owe them any money for lost time or prospects or whatever, well, they'll just have to get in line." She chuckled weakly.

I shook my head and stared at her; so open and trusting, and while yes, I could see the relief in her expression, there was also a twinge of fear in her eyes, though she was trying desperately to hide it.

How the fuck was she planning to pay her father's medical bills, her debt to Mike, and possibly a damages claim from a big corporation?

I brought my hands up to hers and laced our fingers together.

"I'm writing you a check in the morning."

"What?" she spat.

"I'm writing you a check," I repeated firmly. "For you to pay off your entire debt to Mike. You can have your father's medical expenses transferred to me, and if that fucking corporation determines any damages, I'll write you another-"

"No!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. She glared at me, dropping her hands and backing away from me. "No," she whispered, staring at me with an incredulous expression on her face. "No, I don't want you to-"

"Listen to me Bella," I growled, taking a step towards her, "_I_ don't want you being indebted to him anymore! You don't _need_ to be indebted to him! _I've_ got money too!"

Her brown eyes darkened, growing huge, and she stared at me as if I'd turned into someone else right before her eyes, a look of pure horror crossing her face.

"Don't do that," I hissed. "Don't look at me like I'm Mike!" I spat his name out like a dirty word.

"Then don't try to treat me like I'm an object to be bought!" she whispered intently; her voice laced with pain. The hurt in her eyes instantly tore through my indignation, lifting the haze of fury and hatred towards Mike that had surrounded my brain, causing me to temporarily lose sight of the real priority here.

"Oh Jesus Bella," I breathed, wrapping my arms around her. She put her palms on my stomach, her hands burning through my shirt. But she was tentatively holding me back. "I'm so sorry," I murmured, brushing my lips over her cheeks, over her eyes. She fisted my shirt in her hands, and I could feel the hesitancy in her touch; uncertain as to whether to push me away or pull me in. For two seconds my heart went to my throat, but then she wrapped her arms around my waist and clung tightly to me.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I didn't mean it that way, I swear. I just want to help you Bella. To make things easier for you because I…"

I pulled away enough to be able to meet her eyes and swallowed thickly. She returned my gaze anxiously, her deep brown eyes sucking me in and soothing me all at once.

I swallowed thickly. "Bella, what you said before, about not wanting to deny your heart anymore?" Her eyes seared through me and gave me the courage to continue. "I _can't_ deny mine anymore." And then the words just poured out.

"I've been in love with you since I was seventeen years old, and no amount of time or space or other people in our lives has ever changed that." I let the words flow before I lost my nerve. "As a matter of fact, over these past few weeks I've fallen in love with you even more. I love you Bella, and all I want is to make things good for you; better for you; to be the one there for you-"

She chuckled once, a solitary tear rolling down one eye.

"See? That's all I need. I've been waiting to hear those three words since I was fifteen."

And then suddenly she was on her tiptoes again, kissing me, taking my bottom lip in between hers and then alternating with my top lip. Chuckling and kissing me while a few warms tears rolled down her face.

"I love you too," she finally said, laughing and crying at the same time and kissing me all over while I did the same.

"I love you…"

"I love you…"

"I love you…"

Eventually, she pulled her lips away from me and gazed into my eyes. "Just love me Edward, and I _know_ I'll find my way."

With our eyes locked on one another, I lowered my hands to her hips and lifted her up, and she wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. And never breaking our gaze, I carried her into my bedroom.

This time we took it slowly, letting ourselves enjoy more than just the act itself, but the fact that we could claim each other's bodies _and_ souls completely now.

I undressed her slowly, taking in every part of her body, the small mole on her right thigh, the little scar on her left knee, kissing and tasting every inch of her creamy skin while she moaned and writhed under me. And when I sucked and marked her skin this time, it was in places no one but I would ever see.

Then she undressed me and did the same, her hands and fingers exploring my shoulders, the planes of my chest, every dip and groove in my stomach, lower and lower while her mouth and tongue followed every line her hands traced, until she had me seeing stars and moaning her name.

And when she lowered herself over me and took me inside her, our cries were filled with relief as much as ecstasy, because we'd finally found where we belonged.

Together. Yeah, we'd find our way.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thoughts? Comments? Should she just have accepted the money? Reviews are always welcome.**

**The first chapter to the new FBIward story will post next week. Keep an eye out for it. It'll be called "Thief of Hearts." Put me on Author and/or Story Alert if you haven't yet and want to read it.**

**Two or three chapters left to this story, and then the Epilogue.**


	22. Chapter 21  Do the Right Thing

**A/N: We're almost at the end guys…**

**Read the A/N at the end for info on my newest story.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

**Chapter song rec.: **_**Your Love is a Song**_** by Switchfoot**

**Chapter 21 – Do the Right Thing**

* * *

><p>In the early morning light, I reached out towards the space next to me, expecting her warmth; the feel of her soft skin under my fingers, sending thousands of little sparks flowing through my body. I smiled in anticipation.<p>

Instead they were met with an empty space. A cool mattress bounced lightly under my fingertips; letting me know its occupant had vacated the space more than a short while ago. I frowned and my eyes snapped open, moving around my bedroom, searching.

Bella and I had gone to bed together last night, as we had every night for the past couple of weeks. Usually it was me that had to wake her in the mornings. I'd discovered she was a heavy sleeper; late nights combined with eager lovemaking usually had her sleeping in until the late hours of the morning. I on the other hand usually woke bright and early and with a big smile on my face. But then I'd see her and feel her next to me; her warm breath against my chest and her sweet scent filling the entire room, and then I'd close my eyes again and let myself drift away on a cloud of bliss.

I climbed out of bed and made my way into my living room. Outside the large living room window, the sun was rising over the Puget; a normally grey sky was dotted with pure white clouds over blue for as far as the eye could see.

And there was Bella, sitting on the chair that had become her favorite over the past couple of weeks, facing the large window and leaning into her easel, brush in hand. Even with her back to me I could sense her concentration; so focused she didn't even hear me approach. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and kissed the back of her neck. As if on instinct her head turned and her mouth met mine.

After a couple of minutes, I forced my lips away from hers and snorted when I saw what she was currently working on.

"You've got a rare clear dawn breaking over the Puget and _this_ is what you choose to work on?"

"The sun rising over the Puget pales in comparison," she responded matter-of-factly, turning back to her work. "Besides, I painted the Puget from here last week, as well as from the view from your bedroom. Now I want to work on this."

I shook my head and smirked, my brows furrowing as I took in her painting. "This one's a bit different from the other ones."

"Mmm," she answered vaguely, applying a dark shade of blue onto the middle of the canvas. "I'm trying to figure out which shade belongs right…here…" she murmured, lost in concentration again, "but I'm having a bit of a hard time picturing it in my mind's eye…"

I cocked my head to the side and studied her latest work of art. Over the past couple of weeks Bella had done a lot of painting, but this was the first time she'd returned to this collection.

"It's…darker than the rest of the collection," I noted curiously, watching as she used her brush to blend the dusky colors in her palette with the various shades of green in her painting. "Does this represent 'Evil Edward?' I grinned.

"No," she snorted quietly, "definitely not Evil Edward." A deep shade of red suddenly crept up her neck and along her creamy cheeks.

I watched her, running my fingers down her long, slightly tangled hair and smiling wider as I remembered why it was like that.

Leaning down, I whispered in her ear. "You're blushing."

She smiled and her eyes moved down to her lap sheepishly before coming back up to her painting. She didn't respond though.

I moved in front of her and lowered myself to my knees. "Okay, now you _have_ to tell me what it represents. Is this the way my eyes look when I'm angry? Is this how they looked a couple of weeks ago when-"

She chuckled and put down her tools, cupping my face between her hands. "No Edward, it's not you angry." The blush deepened and she bit her lip, gazing into my eyes. "It's something I always wondered about…but didn't know until a couple of weeks ago," she said slowly. I furrowed my brow. Bella drew in a deep breath and sighed; a flustered smile played on her lips. "It's you…when you're at your _most_…passionate," she whispered.

It took me two seconds to realize what she meant. My eyes grew wide. "You mean…this is what my eyes look like when I'm…"

She nodded, her face completely red at this point. "Does it…does it bother you that I'd paint-"

I pulled her off her chair and pinned her under me over the warm rug and brought my mouth to hers. She parted her lips eagerly and groaned when my morning wood dug into her warmth, wrapping her legs around my waist to pull me in closer. It had been just like this for the past two weeks. Our bodies couldn't seem to get enough of each other, as if having wasted the past six years of our lives on others, it was time to make up for lost time.

And I sure as hell wasn't complaining.

"I hope you're not planning on hanging that one in your loft," I whispered, trailing my mouth down her neck and chest, leaving open mouthed kisses everywhere. Her chest heaved heavily. When I reached the top edge of her tank top I pushed it aside with my chin and her perky breasts came tumbling out. I quickly took one in my mouth, making Bella gasp. Her hands moved to the top of my head, where she stroked and played with my hair. "Or I'll never hear the end of it from the others," I murmured against her breast.

She moaned and managed to chuckle weakly while I circled my tongue around her erect nipple.

"No…_ohh_…no I was going to give it to you with the rest of the collection. They're yours…_oh Edward_…" she murmured as I trailed my mouth down her stomach, licking and biting her ribcage and bringing her shorts and panties down as I went – _"…they're yours…ohhh…"_

"Mmm," I responded against her belly button. In the past couple of weeks, it had become one of my favorite spots. "Mine. I remember."

She chuckled throatily this time and smacked my backside. "Edward, I thought we agreed no distractions when you set up this area for me. Right now you're distracting me big time here."

I threw her shorts and panties across the room and turned us over so that she was on top of me. She squealed and sat up straight, her brown eyes dark and smoldering.

"I'm not distracting you," I said, trying to sound convincing while I held her hip with one hand and pulled my boxer briefs down my thighs with the other. "You said you're having a hard time figuring out what shade to use. I'm just going to help remind you. Think of it as me sacrificing myself for your art." I guided her over me.

She paused with me right at her entrance, her heat tormenting me. I groaned and tried to pull her down but she held herself up firmly. Her dark eyes were teasing.

"So you're merely sacrificing yourself then?"

I grinned. "Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm a martyr for your cause."

She lowered herself all the way over me then. We both groaned loudly. Her mouth came down to mine and she started moving back and forth slowly, torturing me with her languid rhythm while her heat consumed me.

'Ohh Bella…"

"You sure?" she breathed against my mouth. "You sure it's a sacrifice, Edward?" She sat straight up again, taking me in deeply. I moaned, completely at her mercy, watching her wet her lips with her tongue while her eyes opened and closed languidly. She reached down and pulled her tank top off completely, sitting totally naked over me. The sight was something I'd never get used to; never take for granted. She was glorious. And I was way beyond teasing.

"No…making love to you…nothing compares Bella. Jesus, I love you."

"I love you too Edward," she whispered with a self-satisfied grin, taking pity on me and increasing the tempo of her rocking. She picked up speed even more as she got closer to her orgasm. I lifted my hips off the floor, thrusting hard, and she cried out loudly, moaning my name over and over. Once I was sure she was done I grabbed her hips firmly and felt my own release threatening. That's when she reached back and cupped my balls in her warm hand, rolling them inside her palm, and I completely lost it. I stiffened and groaned and let go, while Bella brought her mouth to mine and swallowed all my cries.

"Don't close your eyes," she commanded, and I obeyed wholeheartedly. We gazed at each other through wide eyes as I emptied myself inside her.

I grinned smugly once I was done. Bella kissed me lightly on my lips.

"Sapphire blue with a touch of coal," she whispered, and kissed me once more. "Thanks for your sacrifice."

"Don't mention it," I chuckled breathlessly. "Like I said, I'm a goddamned martyr."

We laughed quietly and held each other tight over the warm rug, watching as the warm sun greeted a bright day over Seattle.

OOOOOOOOOO

It took us a few more hours to finally leave my apartment. The days had grown colder and now that Bella and I were officially a couple, we enjoyed long hours together indoors, alone. But Bella deserved more than just time between the sheets. She was smart and beautiful and _mine_, and I took her for long walks along the waterfront, to dinners at quirky restaurants; we walked Jake together. On Open Mike nights I always performed at least one song for her, and she loved it. Every single time she'd come meet me on stage and throw her arms around my neck, kissing me with total abandon. We'd hang out at Nitelock or at Eclipse after work, playing pool with the rest of the group and drinking beers until the early hours of the morning. And we continued her guitar lessons, though as much as I'd never say so to her face, my Bella was not musically inclined. Which was fine, because after a couple of painting lessons from her, I was ready to admit I didn't have much of an artist's hand or eye.

We took two more trips up to Forks. Esme practically burst into happy tears right in front of us when we walked into her house hand in hand. Her eyes made a not so subtle trip to Bella's left hand and she grinned widely at finding it empty. Charlie…Charlie smirked and muttered something about knowing his little girl and then took me around the house to 'teach me' how to mend a fence. I learned eagerly. And even though physically he didn't look much better, there was a peace in his eyes I hadn't seen that first time Bella and I had driven up to Forks together. We all had dinner together again and somehow Esme talked us all into having Thanksgiving back at my parents in a couple of weeks. She even invited Jasper and Alice if they'd be willing to come up.

But our time alone…our time wrapped around each other…yeah, those were definitely the best times…

If heaven was a place on Earth, then we'd found it together over the past couple of weeks. But the real world has a way of creeping up and reminding us that heaven isn't always easy. Sometimes you have to really work for it.

OOOOOOOOOO

It was dark already by the time we made it back to her loft.

"B honey, is that you?" Alice called out from the kitchen.

"Yeah Al, I'm home," Bella answered, putting her keys down in the little bowl by the foyer table.

"Your mail's on the table," Alice called out. "They sent you duplicate VS coupons, so I took one for myself. There's this cute little pink lacey bra that would look gorgeous under that white georgette blouse I designed and I'm going to get it and wear it to Nitelock tonight. Remember I told you Jasper's got a thing for lace? I figure if I play my cards right he'll be so damned hard by the time we get back to his place that we can try it from-"

"Uh, Alice, I'm here too," I announced before she could continue and bring more bile up to my throat.

"Hey Edward!" she called out cheerily. "So anyway, like I was saying, he'll be so hard-"

I covered my ears tightly while Bella sorted through her mail. After a few seconds, with her eyes still on her mail, she gave me the thumbs up sign that meant Alice had finished her speech.

"Sounds like a plan Al," Bella called out with a crooked grin.

"Jesus," I murmured, coming to stand in front of Bella. "Shorty doesn't hold back, does she?"

"Hey, don't judge," Bella chuckled, eyeing me teasingly as she sorted through her mail. "You should be thanking her for a couple of those moves she just mentioned. You've been enjoying them pretty well lately."

I lifted my brows and wrapped my arms around her waist. "So you've been asking her for sex advice?"

"No," she snorted, "but you know Alice. She doesn't wait to be asked."

I smirked and lowered my head to hers, rubbing my chin against her cheek. She shuddered in my arms. "So why don't you tell me, better yet show me exactly which moves-"

I felt her stiffen suddenly, and when I raised my eyes to hers, they were wide and anxious, fixed firmly on a piece of paper in her hands.

"What is it?" I asked, fighting the urge to look down and read it myself.

Bella finished reading her letter and closed it. She bit her lip and took a deep breath before turning to meet my eyes. Her smile was forced.

"It's nothing I wasn't expecting."

That's when I pretty much figured who it was from. Bella had already called the investment bank she was supposed to have started working for in a couple of months. She explained the situation to the Assistant VP; that she'd resettled in Washington and didn't plan on returning to New York. At first it seemed as if they would give her a hard time, just as Fuckface had promised. But in the end they agreed to repost the position without seeking restitution from her. The fact was that in the type of economy we found ourselves in nowadays, there were plenty of prospects for the job.

But as of yet, we hadn't heard from Fuckface. Until now.

I reached down and carefully wrapped a hand around the document. "May I?" I asked gently.

Her lips formed a tight line. She gazed at me uneasily before nodding once, slowly.

I took the document and opened it. My jaw clenched tight and my breathing grew shallow while I scanned the legal paper in front of me. When I looked back up at her my nostrils were flaring.

"He's fucking charging you _interest_?" I asked incredulously through clenched teeth.

Bella put a hand on my arm soothingly. "Edward, it was to be expected. It was a loan and-"

"Did he call it a loan?"

"What?"

I swallowed in a lungful of air and let it out slowly. "When he offered to pay for your father's bills, did he ever call it a loan?"

She frowned. "He said he wanted to…help. I told him I'd pay him as soon as I could, but he kept insisting it wouldn't be necessary-"

"But he never actually called it a loan."

She gazed at me firmly. "Edward, regardless of what he may or may not have called it, I'm going to pay him. I don't want this over my head anymore." We stared at each other long and hard. Finally she sighed. "Look, it's done. He's asking for monthly payments. I'll just make them and-"

"How are you going to make those payments Bella?"

She shrugged. "I'll see if I can pick up some more hours at Nitelock. If I can't find a day job in a museum or art gallery, then I'll look for something else. A diner, The Gap, McDonalds, _whatever_."

I glared at her. "Do you realize how ridiculous this is? If you'd just let me-"

She closed her eyes. "Edward, no."

"Why not?" I spat. "Why should you struggle day and night when I've got the means to help you sitting in a goddamned bank!"

I hadn't realized how loud my voice had gotten until Alice peeked out of the kitchen and eyed me cautiously. "I'll be in my bedroom," she said carefully before walking towards her room and closing the door behind her.

I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. When I opened them back up Bella was eyeing me coolly.

"I'm sorry love. I just feel like, you think I'm going to try to do the same thing he did-"

There was a note of frustration in her voice when she cut me off. "Edward, I would _never_ think that. I _know_ you're not him. It's totally and completely one hundred percent different with you. I love you with all my heart and soul, and I know you love me too. I really, really do. But Edward, you have to try to understand that this isn't about _you_. It's about what _I_ need to do. I _know_ you're offering out of love, not anything else. But that's why I _can't_ Edward. I don't want to taint what you and I have. I cherish and respect our relationship beyond anything else, beyond money and debts and…and that's why I have to do this on my own, even if it does mean struggling. Please, please try to understand. I don't want this to become a constant source of conflict between us, Edward."

Her voice cracked at the end. I took her in my arms quickly and she wrapped her arms around me and held on tight. We stood there for a long time, simply holding each other.

"I hate this," I finally breathed honestly. "I hate standing by while you have to struggle."

"You're not just standing by," she said firmly, that note of frustration still in her voice. "You're loving me. I told you, as long as you love me, I can handle everything else."

I kissed the top of her head and ran my fingers through her hair, not in total agreement that that's all I could do for her, still wracking my brain to come up with another solution.

OOOOOOOOOO

I was anxious and edgy at work that night. We'd dropped the topic after our semi-argument, but Bella was right about one thing. This was becoming a source of conflict for us; the only source of conflict for us, and I didn't want it to continue that way. But at the same time, I just couldn't do what she asked. I stared out at the night sky from my office window, beyond frustrated.

How could she expect me to sit by idly while her debts consumed her, while I had a nicely padded bank account with more than enough to make it all go away? Yeah, sure, fine, I sort of understood what she was saying. She wanted to keep money and debts separate from our relationship. But wasn't a real relationship about being there for each other in _every_ way? I knew Bella well enough to know that if things had been the other way around she wouldn't hesitate to help me out.

How could she expect _me_ to just sit by?

A knock at my office door interrupted me musings.

"Yeah?" I called out distractedly.

"Edward, it's Alec."

"Yeah. Come in," I said, straightening myself out and turning my chair around to the front again. Over the past couple of weeks, Alec had taken on more and more responsibility at Eclipse. I'd found out he knew the spreadsheets, how to handle deliveries, and how to perform a ton of other activities around the club I hadn't realized he knew. Little by little, he was becoming my right hand man, and I'd increased his salary and made him my Assistant. Since ridding the club of Victoria, I'd found that the employees felt more relaxed, and in turn, I'd tried to change too. Yeah, I was frustrated right now, but there was no reason to take it out on Alec or the rest of the staff.

"What's up Alec?" I asked pleasantly, trying to put me and Bella's problems out of mind for a few minutes.

Alec was still a bit stiff around me, and I couldn't blame him. I'd been an asshole to him from day one. It would take a while for him to respect me the way he respected Emmett.

"I wanted to let you know that there's a woman downstairs interested in those paintings. The ones your girlfriend made that are hanging in the lobby. She says she wants to buy them if they're for sale."

I jerked my head back, pleasantly surprised. We'd just hung those up at the club last night. I accompanied Alec downstairs to meet with the woman and sure enough, she was very interested. They were the landscapes Bella had painted of the Puget from my apartment, and the woman went on and on about how she'd never seen anything so beautiful.

Half an hour later I was sitting in front of my desk with a check for fifteen hundred dollars for my artist girlfriend and a promise to the let the lady know when Bella was ready to sell anything else.

I grinned at Alec, who sat on the guest chair opposite me.

"Your girlfriend's really talented," he said.

"I know." I grinned wider.

"That's a nice little check there she'll be getting," he chuckled. "She'll probably want to buy herself a couple of nice pairs of shoes or something with it, huh?"

I snorted, the grin falling from my face. Fifteen hundred dollars wasn't bad, but it wouldn't put much of a dent in what she owed Fuckface. And even if she painted something else for the woman who'd bought tonight's landscapes, she'd have to paint a shitload more of them to pay off her debt to the motherfucker in New York.

"What is it?" Alec asked, seeing my change in attitude.

"My girlfriend…Bella…she's got a few debts. I doubt she'll be using this for shoes."

"Oh," Alec said simply. "Bet she won't let you help her out either, huh?"

I frowned. "How do you know?"

"Well, you know Gianna?" I nodded. Gianna was the last hire Victoria had made, when she'd turned Bella down for the job. "Well, she's sort of my girlfriend. She's got a huge college loan but she refuses to take a cent from me. I finally stopped insisting because it was just pissing her off. So what I do now is just sneak a twenty or so in her wallet whenever she's not watching. I make sure I eat enough when I'm over at her place and then bring over groceries with the excuse that they're for me anyway." He shrugged. "You know, small things like that that at least make me feel like I'm doing _something_."

I chuckled, because I knew how he felt.

"Bella's dad…is really sick." I paused, surprised that I'd opened up to Alec about that. But over the past couple of weeks I'd also realized that besides being pretty smart, Alec was a pretty decent guy too. "Heart problems. He's out of work now, and she pays for his medical expenses. As well as all her other expenses…" _And her debt to Fuckface_, I thought, but left that bit out.

"Wow." Alec nodded slowly. "Shit, that must be expensive as all hell."

I nodded and pursed my lips in response.

Alec's brows furrowed. He cocked his head to the side. "Has she ever thought of having an art auction?"

"A what?"

"An art auction," he repeated. "You know, like a fundraiser. She can make it known that all proceeds will go to pay for her father's medical expenses, and gather up a bunch of her paintings and sell them to the highest bidders. These artsy types around here absolutely love those things. They come out in droves. I've been to a couple of them with Gianna."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah," he agreed with a quick nod. "A couple of the downtown clubs have even sponsored some of them. He paused. "Didn't Victoria ever tell you? Wasn't part of her job keeping up with the latest trends?"

I smirked.

He snorted. "Yeah, well. Victoria didn't seem like much of the…art appreciating type."

I snorted back.

"So tell me more about these art auctions…"

OOOOOOOOOO

Later on that night, or very early the next morning, I brought the idea up to Bella as we lay in her bed. Her body was spooned against mine while we rested after another night of love-making.

"But how would it work?" she asked quietly. "Do I have to announce to all of Downtown Seattle that my dad's sick and we need help paying his medical bills? My dad's very proud Edward. I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing something like that."

I sighed, but I'd already figured she wouldn't like that idea. "Well how about we just call it an art auction then, just displaying your work. No one has to know anything about Charlie, or bills or debts. It'll just be about you and your artwork."

I rubbed my nose up and down her cheek, watching as she bit her lip anxiously. "What if everyone hates my work?"

I shook my head against her face, my nose and jaw caressing her cheek. As if on instinct she turned and caressed her face against mine.

"Bella, all four paintings you've hung in Nitelock have sold within forty-eight hours. The two we hung at Eclipse last night sold within twenty-four. I'm sure the ones we're going to hang there tomorrow will sell just as quickly. People love your work," I assured her. "And if we hang your 'Windows' collection up-"

She turned her face all the way to the side to meet my eyes. "No, Edward. That collection's yours. It's not for sale. Never."

"I know love," I said gently, tightening my arms around her waist. Her hands met mine and we laced our fingers together. "I would never, ever sell that collection. Not for a million dollars. I know how much time and effort you've put into that, and I adore it."

She nodded.

"I was just going to suggest we hang it up at Eclipse for a couple of weeks. Not all of it of course," I added quickly. "The latest addition to the collection should probably stay at my place," I grinned crookedly. She blushed again. I kissed her cheek softly. "But we can put it on display to help advertise the auction, to build up interest in your work. Anyone who sees those, Bella, will want to see more of your work."

"Pretty proud of your eyes there, aren't you Mr. Cullen?" she teased.

"No, not of my eyes," I assured her quietly. "Of the way my girlfriend was able to turn them into a work of art."

She smiled softly and blushed again. "So…if we did this…auction thing…when would it be?"

I tried to control my building excitement. The truth was I hadn't been so sure she'd even consider the idea.

"Well…I was thinking maybe the weekend after Thanksgiving. If you don't want to let people know about Charlie then we can build it up as a Holiday auction. People can buy your work as holiday gifts for themselves, for friends and loved ones. It'll be great," I breathed honestly.

"And it would be at Eclipse?"

I nodded. "Alec is going to help us advertise it. Spread the word. He's the one who suggested hanging up your best work, even if those particular ones won't be for sale. It'll make people even more interested. And we can advertise in the local underground papers-"

"But you'll lose business for that night."

I rolled my eyes. "Emmett and I will be okay if Eclipse doesn't bring in receipts for one night."

"One holiday weekend night," she clarified. I could feel her indecision; her mind racing.

"If I did this, then you'd have to at least take a percentage-"

"Don't you dare," I hissed, "even finish that sentence."

She huffed, her chest moving up and down under our interlaced hands. "But then it won't be fair-"

I lifted myself up on one elbow and turned her around, laying her flat on her back so that I could meet her eyes completely.

"Jesus, Bella. I understand you're wary because of what happened, but things don't always have to be tit for tat. I can do things for you, _just_ to do them," I whispered angrily. Her wide eyes took me in anxiously. "I love you, and I believe in your work, and I want to _help_ you. Is that _so_ wrong of me? Things don't always _have_ to be even Bella!"

She bit her lip and gazed into my eyes, searching.

"Please Bella, let me do this. Let _us_ do this."

Slowly, her hands reached up and she wrapped her arms around my neck, lifting her back off of the bed and kissing me softly. Her eyes bored into mine. She smiled gently and nodded once.

"I love you too. Okay, let's _us_ do this."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thoughts? Comments? How do you guys think the auction will go? Whose side do you see most clearly, Bella's or Edward's?**

**A few of you were wondering if Edward will be showing his guitar-playing/singing side again. Yes, he will.**

**A couple more chapters, a couple more twists, and we'll be done. (Plus the epilogue.)**

**And for those of you who aren't aware, the first couple of chapters to my new story, 'Thief of Hearts,' have been posted! Go check those out if you haven't yet! I'll be updating it again tomorrow most likely, and then once again later this week.**


	23. Chapter 22  For Keeps

**A/N: Almost at the end guys…**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward…**

**Ch. 22 – For Keeps**

* * *

><p>"So Rosalie, what area in Psychology would you like to work in once you finish with your Masters?" my mom asked Rose across the large dinner table.<p>

Rose cleared her throat once, putting her silverware down. "Well, I'm pretty much focusing on Child Psychology, Mrs. Cullen-"

"Please sweetheart, call me Esme."

Rose smiled broadly. "Esme then. I did some volunteer work with Children's Services for a while, and I really enjoyed it," she continued, "but I had to put it on hold once my brother Jasper and I opened up the club. I'd like to go back to it now that we're at a more comfortable place with the business-"

"You mean now that you and your brother have stolen away enough of our customers for you to be able to cut down on your hours," I said, taking a bite of turkey.

Rosalie's face paled. Her blue eyes turned to me, startled and trying to suppress her obvious irritation. "Jasper and I- we're just doing business. It's never been our intention-"

Emmett burst out laughing and I let go of the grin I was holding back. He wrapped an arm tightly around her, while she shot death glares at me.

"Rosie baby, Edward's just messing around with you, trying to get you all hot under the collar in front of our parents."

"Is he now?" Rosalie hissed, a dangerous smile on her face. She looked from me to Charlie, seated across the table. "Maybe Edward should remember I'm not the only one who needs to impress parents at this table tonight," she said sweetly.

The teasing grin fell from my face and was replaced by a nervous one. I glanced at Charlie. He'd set his utensils down and was eyeing me carefully through his penetrating brown eyes.

"So Edward…" he began, in a tone that let me know that it was my turn to squirm now, "did you ever get around to replacing those roof tiles for your dad here?"

Emmett snorted loudly. "Edward replacing roof tiles?" he snickered. "My little brother here wouldn't know how to replace a roof tile if it came down and bit him in the ass."

I pursed my lips at my brother. "Now why in the world would a roof tile come down and bite me in the ass?"

"It's just an expression bro," Emmett chuckled.

"It makes no sense," I insisted.

"He's right Emmett man, it doesn't," Jasper threw in.

"Thank you," I said.

"But yeah, I can't see you replacing roof tiles," Jasper snorted. I heard some quiet snickering around the table, even from right next to me.

"Oh yeah?" I said, turning to glare at Jasper, "Just so you'll know, I did one mighty good friggin' job helping Bella's dad with his roof tiles. Didn't I Chief?"

Charlie raised one eyebrow but didn't answer.

"Chief?" I asked again. "Come on Chief, you're not going to leave me hanging here, are you?"

The chief didn't say anything for a few seconds, and then his brown eyes twinkled in much the same way his daughter's tended to at times, and he burst out laughing.

"Yeah, sure, sure kid," he finally said. "You did a pretty decent job there with those tiles."

"Hah!" I yelled, pointing a finger sharply at Emmett. "And Hah!" I repeated, pointing at Jasper.

Emmett and Jasper both rolled their eyes.

"I'm sure I could'a done better," Emmett muttered tauntingly.

I snorted, "Yeah, I highly doubt that."

"Yeah, I don't know 'bout you replacing tiles either my man," Jasper told him.

"Hold on," Emmett grinned, standing up quickly. His long legs knocked against the table, making the cranberry sauce in the middle jiggle around the dish. Jake, who'd been hiding under the table accepting scraps of food, ran out and stared up at Emmett, his tail wagging anxiously from side to side.

"Is that a challenge? Come on!" Emmett said, jerking his head towards the door, "Let's do this. Dad," he asked, looking at our father, "show me which tiles need replacing!"

"I don't have _any_ tiles that need replacing!" Carlisle insisted.

I looked at Charlie. He smirked at me. I lowered my head and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"That's just fine. I'll replace'em anyway! Jasper, Edward, get your asses-"

"Edward, Emmett, enough!" Esme finally yelled. Jake barked his agreement. "Will you both drop it with the tiles and just finish your Thanksgiving dinners! Our guests are going to think we've raised two Neanderthals instead of two young men! Charlie, Bella, Jasper, Rose and Alice," my mom added in a calmer tone, "Please excuse our sons."

I raised my head and looked next to me.

Bella was watching me with amusement. Her rich brown eyes twinkled much the same way her dad's just had. She leaned into my ear.

"It's alright. I kind of like you as a Neanderthal," she whispered loud enough for everyone else to here before placing a soft kiss right behind my ear. And then in a lower voice she whispered some more private thoughts about my Neanderthalism, but based on the snickers around the table, everyone seated around us had pretty good imaginations. I grinned, completely forgetting what we'd been discussing in the first place.

When I looked around the table again, Charlie was still smirking at me.

"Woo! Busted!" Emmett whooped.

Carlisle rolled his eyes, bringing a glass of egg nog up to his mouth. "Rosalie my dear, I think that degree in Child Psychology will be coming in handy quite a bit in the future."

"Mmhmm," Rose agreed.

Alice, who'd been sitting next to Jasper watching the entire dinner exchange quietly finally spoke up.

"Gee, this is the best Thanksgiving ever!" she exclaimed in an emotional tone. "Now all we need is a fight over the best stuffing recipe and a drunk uncle passing out over the mashed potatoes and I'll feel right at home!"

Jake barked one more time and resumed his post under the Thanksgiving table.

OOOOOOOOOO

After dinner Bella and I escaped the noisy, full house for a while and went outside to sit on the porch swing. I tucked her in carefully under the heavy woolen blanket while we both enjoyed a steaming cup of homemade apple cider, compliments of Esme. We listened to the sounds coming from inside; the TV volume on full blast with the football game blaring and both our fathers yelling at the players as if they could hear them. I swung us back and forth and Bella chuckled.

"I'm really glad Charlie's coming to Seattle for the auction," she finally said.

I snorted. "Yeah, I don't think hell or high water would've kept him from that."

Bella smiled pensively, her eyes remained trained on the trees across the street, leading into the wooded forests of Forks. The night was cool but dry, and Bella's eyes remained on the leaves falling from the trees, following their path as they landed on the ground with a brittle swoosh.

"He looks…thinner."

I knew Bella felt anxious about her dad. She'd been staring at him all night across the dinner table while he played and moved his food around. The thing was, it didn't seem as if he didn't want to eat; more like every bite he put in his mouth nauseated him. I caught Esme glancing at him a couple of times too, and then looking at my dad. I could tell by the look that passed between them that Esme wasn't in the least offended by Charlie's lack of appetite.

But Bella was right; Charlie did look thinner than he had just last week. He also seemed to be walking a bit slower. But at the same time, his eyes looked brighter, livelier than they had even the first time I'd seen him after returning to Forks with Bella.

"But he looks…content Bella," I told her gently. "He looks genuinely happy; especially about the auction."

She nodded. "I spoke to your dad a little while ago and he says medically his condition is…the same. Which is good, I guess."

"Maybe he…maybe he's just tired love," I offered gently, taking her free hand in mine and squeezing it tightly.

She turned and gazed into my eyes. "Yeah, you're probably right," she nodded. But I could tell she was still worried. And honestly, so was I.

We returned to Forks the following weekend, and then the weekend after that. Bella hung out and helped her dad out, cooking his meals for the week, cleaning up, sorting his laundry. I'd hang out with my parents and then go meet her back at Charlie's in the afternoons where I'd help out in any way I could and then have dinner before returning to Seattle. Weekdays in between she lost herself in work and her canvases and preparations for the auction and I lost myself in work and strings and lyrics and preparing for the auction. And at the end of the day, we lost ourselves in each other.

OOOOOOOOOO

The night of the auction arrived. I'd been planning on going to pick up Bella so we could go to Eclipse together but Alice called and told me she and Bella were running a bit late and would meet the rest of us there. And though I would've preferred to walk into Eclipse together, I knew Bella had been extremely nervous for the past couple of days, and I didn't want to do anything to increase her stress level. So I left for Eclipse first.

When I arrived, Emmett was already outside, dressed very differently from his usual bouncer get up consisting of jeans and his black 'BOUNCER' tee shirt.

"That suit makes you look half-way presentable," I teased him, walking up to him from behind. He turned around and smirked.

"Shit, I actually think I'd better go change. Now I know how you feel every night. I've had a handful of women propositioning me with some very questionable activities," he laughed. "Don't tell Rosie though," he said in a slightly more serious tone. "We don't want Bella's auction night to end up in the papers for manslaughter instead of her work."

I snorted and walked away.

Alec had officially become the promoter for the event, and as I took in the crowd wrapping around the building, I was more than grateful for the job he'd done.

As he'd suggested, we'd hung Bella's Windows Collection under bright recessed lights in the center of the lobby, and for the past few weeks the collection had created a strong amount of buzz. I'd received about a dozen offers for the collection. But I'd tell them that while this particular collection wasn't for sale, the artist was having an auction for her other works and hand them one of the flyers Alice and Rose had prepared. Also as per Alec's suggestion, we hadn't sold the other handful of Bella's paintings that we'd hung around the lobby, and neither had Jasper or Rosalie over at Nitelock. Instead we told those interested that those paintings would be available at the auction. Alec insisted this strategy would build up interest and demand in Bella's work.

Well, based on the lines wrapping around the block as I walked into Eclipse, Alec's Marketing degree was coming in handy.

Inside, Eclipse had undergone a huge transformation. Instead of a dark, smoke-machined atmosphere, bright lights shone from overhead and from below against the walls and easels displaying Bella's work.

"Okay, now move that one over a few inches." Rosalie dressed in a fancy strappy black dress and huge heels was instructing Jasper on proper placement when I walked into the main lobby. Jasper carefully moved one of Bella's bigger canvases over, inch by inch, until Rosalie gave him the thumbs up sign. "Perfect," she drawled with a smile.

Further inside, Alec was giving a few last minute instructions to the wait staff, who'd be serving drinks and hors d'oeuvres throughout the night. The uniform had been changed for the event from the black tanks and boy shorts they usually wore to black suit pants, white collar shirt and black tie for both the men and women. Alec saw me arrive and walked over quickly.

"Quite a crowd out there," I grinned, slapping him on the back.

"Yeah well, they're all eager to get first dibs on Bella's work. She's become quite the downtown buzz over the past few weeks."

My grin widened. "Thanks man," I said sincerely. "You've…done a great job with this."

He grinned for a second before clearing his throat and assuming a more business-like expression. "Edward, we weren't sure which bottles of champagne and wine to use for tonight?"

"Bring out the top-shelf liquors. I want only the best for tonight," I said, assuming a more professional expression myself. "Instruct the wait staff to be liberal with the liquor. I want all our patrons feeling happy and generous tonight." One corner of my mouth twitched up.

Alec chuckled. "I've already informed the staff to keep all glasses filled. And Gianna's called the local cab service. There are several cars waiting in the area in case anyone should need a ride home afterwards."

I slowly nodded my approval. "Excellent."

A few minutes later, my parents arrived with Charlie. His eyes took in the club all decked out in his daughter's artwork, and the awe and pride in his eyes was undeniable. I couldn't wait for Bella to get here and see him like this; because I knew that would mean more to her than almost anything else.

Ten minutes before the doors were set to open to the public, Bella texted me.

_**On my way. Give it to me straight B4 I get there. Is the place empty? B**_

I snorted and typed out my response. I didn't want to make her nervous so I kept it simple.

_**It is NOT empty. I'm anxious to see you. So is Charlie. Love you. E**_

_**Love you too. :) B**_

I took care of some more last minute touches and then at eight pm, the doors to Eclipse opened, and in rushed a horde of anxious and excited Seattleites hoping to leave that night with a piece of Bella's soul.

As the crowd wandered around eagerly taking in Bella's work, I waited around, watching everyone and nervously checking my watch. Still, the murmurs I could hear were all clearly of appreciation.

"Look at how she captures the light here…"

"Look at her use of color…"

"Look at the way she blends the background with the foreground…"

I grinned proudly. Gianna and the rest of the wait staff wandered around with silver trays holding wine and champagne, or with hors d'oeuvres trays holding small sandwiches and shrimp appetizers. A few people drank and ate, but the food and drinks were secondary, barely paid attention to as everyone's eyes wandered from art to art.

Over at the registration table, Rosalie and Jasper took down the information for all those interested in bidding later on. They registered and were handed a number, which they'd hold up once the bidding started. Every time I looked over, the line grew longer and longer. At one point Rosalie and I made eye contact, and she gave me a wide smile.

And then the murmuring suddenly grew before almost instantly disappearing, and when I turned around a vision in dark blue was standing a few feet away from me, glancing nervously all around with a sheepish smile on her face. Alec was the first to approach her and he leaned in and whispered something in her ear. She swallowed thickly and nodded, her beautiful face reddening for a few seconds before clearing up. When Alec moved away, everyone was staring at her; waiting.

Bella cleared her throat. "Good evening everyone. I'd like to thank you all for coming out tonight. I know it's a busy season and I appreciate the time you've all taken to be here. I'm very proud of each and every one of these paintings, and hope you can all understand the beauty I was attempting to capture in each. Art is inspiration, and I've been blessed with the biggest inspiration of all." Her eyes finally met mine, and she smiled gloriously. "So if you see anything here tonight that inspires you, know that it was created with love…belief…and dedication. Thank you."

The crowd clapped with resonating approval, their eyes taking in the beautiful creator of the work they were so anxiously admiring.

Finally, Bella made her way to me. She wore a blue strapless dress that fell just above her knees and pretty black heels that showed off matching toes, but her face…her face glowed. As soon as she reached me I took her in my arms and kissed her long and passionately, not caring who was around. And she kissed me back the same way.

When we finally came up for air, she looked dazed and excited. I chuckled.

"You look like a work of art yourself," I told her.

She blushed and smiled, looking down at her dress. "Al made it for me."

"Al's good. The dress is…you." She looked so much more natural, so much more at ease than she ever had in those dresses she'd worn with Mike.

"Yeah. She is."

Bella looked around at the full-to-capacity club turned gallery.

"You could've warned me, you know," she grinned.

"I didn't want to make you nervous," I chuckled apologetically.

"Too late," she whispered.

"You'll do fine," I reassured her, holding her closer to me.

Just then a group of thirty-something men and women passed us, eyeing us intently.

One of the men snorted and gave us a quick backwards glance. "Hmm. A big inspiration indeed. I'd be able to paint like this too if I had someone like him _inspiring_ me."

"Mmhmm," one of the women agreed. "Ooh look at this one!" she cried out excitedly, approaching one of Bella's paintings. "I've gotta have this one!"

Bella and I looked at each other and tried hard not to burst out laughing.

"Where'd that speech come from by the way?" I asked.

"Al helped me think of it on the way over here. Just in case there was more than just you guys and our family members here tonight."

I snorted. "Well, obviously it's a good thing you and Al came up with that."

Bella's eyes suddenly glazed over. She gazed at me warmly.

"Thank you…so much Edward. For giving me the strength to do this. For believing in me." She grinned sardonically. "For giving up a busy Saturday night's receipts."

I smirked quickly before tightening my hold on her hands and gazing at her with the same intensity. "I love you," I said simply.

That was all. My reason for everything.

She smiled, fully understanding.

Charlie and my parents found us then. They each gave Bella a big hug and congratulated her.

"I hope all these people here appreciate the hard work you put into each and every one of these paintings when they start that bidding up there," Charlie said, jerking his head towards the stage where the bidding would be happening in about an hour. "Nobody better try to cheat you here or they'll have me to deal with."

Bella chuckled and wrapped her arm around her dad's. "Don't worry Charlie. As long as those of you that I love know how much all this means to me, that's all that matters."

Charlie smiled softly at his daughter and patted her hand with his. "That's really nice Bella. But they better not try to cheat you," he repeated.

Bella rolled her eyes and I chuckled.

We mingled around some, introducing ourselves to some people, quietly listening to others. Alice made the rounds too, explaining this piece and that to admirers, letting them know how talented her best friend was, listening to praise after praise for Bella's work. Rosalie and Jasper remained busy by the registration table, while Emmett controlled the traffic of bodies struggling to get inside.

We came to a stop in front of the 'Windows' Collection, which had a huge number of people surrounding it.

"I really wish this was part of the auction," one woman commented.

"Yeah, but the sign says this collection is just for display," someone else said.

Murmurs of disappointment could be heard all around the crowd.

Bella looked at me and shrugged. I shrugged back, grinning.

Just then Alice approached us, her small body practically vibrating.

"Bella!" she said excitedly. "You've got to come with me! There's a woman at the other end of the room who's an art dealer. My boss Renata was telling me about her a couple of weeks ago! Apparently she's some big shot here in Seattle. She's going on and on about how impressed she is with your work and would like to meet you!"

Bella's eyes widened in shock. She froze to her spot. Alice took her by the hand and tried to pull her but Bella wouldn't budge. "Bella, come on!" Alice hissed.

Bella turned her eyes to me, wide and wary. "Come with me Edward."

I took her hands and turned her to face me quickly. "Bella love, listen to me. I will go with you anywhere. You know that." She nodded quickly and started pulling my hand. I stood my ground.

"But this is your moment Bella."

"But I can't-"

"Yes, you can," I insisted. "I'll be right here when you're done."

"He's right Bella," Alice whispered quietly.

She stared at me long and hard, and then slowly let go of my hands. "I'll be right back," she said softly.

"I'll be here."

"I know you will."

"Come on!" Alice pulled her excitedly. "Come on!" she insisted, and Bella followed. I watched them walk away, Bella in her beautiful blue dress and Alice in her own little funky black dress.

"How much would you offer for this collection?" I heard someone ask aloud, from the group that was still admiring the windows collection.

The price called out in response made my eyes widen in disbelief.

"I'd offer double that if I knew I could convince her to sell it," someone else said.

An older woman turned to glare at both people back and forth. She gave them disgusted looks.

"You both obviously know nothing of real art. This collection here is priceless, and will be Ms. Swan's crowning glory someday, you mark my words." She approached the paintings but was careful not to touch them as her fingers pointed here and there.

"Look at the way her fingers worked these colors. This isn't just finger painting; this takes years and years of effort; of trial and error. And then look at this next one," she continued, in the same lecturing tone. "Notice the way the colors have changed over the years, as the subject itself changed and matured. Notice how she captures the shapes, the expressions, the feelings themselves! And then finally look at this latest one." Her voice became softer, more thoughtful. "Look at how she captures the love." She paused. "Your offers are all insults."

Murmurs and approvals all mixed together, while I stood there shocked.

"Fine. I'll double the last offer," a women's voice called out loudly.

Hushed silence filled the crowd; everyone too startled to speak.

"If…if she were willing to sell, that may be a decent offer," the woman who'd been giving the lecture said. "For now…"

"Now is what she has," the woman who'd made the offer answered. "She has no guarantees that after tonight any future paintings of hers will see the light of day."

I fisted my hands at my sides and glared at the woman speaking.

"It's a breathtaking collection," the first woman to make an offer said, "but I'd never be able to match your offer." She turned and walked away. One by one, the rest of the crowd followed her and went to admire other paintings.

I glowered at Victoria.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her through a clenched jaw.

Victoria smiled. "I heard there was an art auction. I figured I'd come take a look. And I'm glad I did because Little Miss Martian Boots seems to be a hit!"

I grabbed Victoria's arm angrily. "Watch how you speak about my girlfriend!"

Victoria's blue eyes darkened, her fiery red hair spread like wildfire around her ghostly white face. She raised an eyebrow. "Your girlfriend, huh?" She snorted. "I see poor Mike got kicked to the curb finally. Maybe I'll give him a call. We can commiserate on what it feels like to be used and abused."

"No one used or abused either one of you," I hissed. "Now I think it's time you left."

She looked down at where I was gripping her arm and looked up at me with a grin.

"No. I don't think I will. Unless you want to force me out and make a scene in the middle of your little girlfriend's soiree. This ain't the crowd either one of us is used to Eddie. These sort of people don't like scenes. They find them cheap and classless."

I let go of her arm. "Like you," I spat.

She glared at me, and then smiled.

"Edward, I don't want to fight with you. I didn't come for that. I came to take a look and I've looked, and while I've honestly gotta say the rest of Isabella's work does nothing for me," – she glanced up at the 'Windows' collection – "I really do love this collection here."

"Well, it's not for sale," I spat. "So you can just go-"

"How about if I double my previous offer?"

I staggered backwards. That much money…Bella would be able to pay off most of her debt to Mike.

"Why?" I asked. "Why would you pay so much money for-"

"It's your eyes Edward, isn't it?"

I felt my jaw drop open. The answer must've been written on my face, because Victoria chuckled.

"Don't be that surprised Edward. It's not exactly the best kept secret tonight. She walks in here talking about inspiration, looks directly at you, this collection is the only one that's not for sale, and once one looks at the paintings and then at you, well, it's pretty obvious darling. If she was trying to drive the price for this collection sky high with all those little clues and then by pretending it's not for sale, well then she's succeeded big time. I _almost_ admire her."

"She's not a sneak like you Victoria. This. Collection. Is not. For sale."

She smirked. "There's another rumor going around Edward. That little Isabella's hard up for money; a starving artist in the literal sense of the word."

I glared at her, but didn't answer.

"Think of all the bills she could pay with the money. All the debts she could leave behind."

My mind wandered back to that letter from Mike's lawyer Bella received the other day. To the electronic payment account she'd been setting up a couple of days ago to start her payments, while I sulked next to her. It could all finally be done with. Mike could be out of our lives for good. She could be free of him.

"I want those paintings Edward," Victoria said. She reached into her purse and pulled out her check book. "You know I'm good for it." Without waiting for me to answer, she started writing the date and amount on the check.

I grabbed her arm again. "What are you trying to do?" I hissed.

"It's an investment! I know she needs the money! She took you away from me, the least she could do is let me have your eyes!"

My nostrils flared, but before I could respond a shade of blue caught my attention and I looked up directly into Bella's confused eyes. She was a few feet away, standing with Alice and another woman. Her face reddened but before I could read anymore she turned away from me quickly, giving her full attention to her art patron.

"So who do I make the check out to?" Victoria asked.

OOOOOOOOOO

The rest of the night remained extremely busy. When the auction finally started we all took our seats. Bella and I sat together and I took her hand, but though she squeezed it tightly when I looked at her, I detected something different in her eyes. A wariness that didn't seem to be completely related to the auction.

All of Bella's paintings sold, and all at extremely respectable sums. She was a new artist, and as such her art wouldn't command the large sums more established artists did, but everyone left extremely impressed, more than happy with their purchases, and eager and anxious to see and purchase more from Isabella Swan in the future.

The woman Alice had taken Bella to had turned out to be a very well respected art dealer in the Seattle area. She took a whole lot of Bella's information and promised to be in touch with her in the next few days to discuss the possibility of displaying Bella's work in some of the boutique art galleries in the area; some of the same galleries where Bella had gone looking for work just a few months ago. A couple of reporters and photographers from the local neighborhood papers had also shown up, and they took plenty of pictures of Bella, some alone, some with me or Charlie or one of the others, and informed her that they'd be writing very flattering articles on her and her artwork. All in all, the night was a complete success.

By the time we returned to the girls' loft that night, we were all exhausted. Bella had been quiet on the ride home, claiming she was tired. She hadn't looked at me directly since she'd seen me talking to Victoria earlier.

We all crowded in to the girl's living room for a short while, talking and reliving the night. My parents were the first to leave for their hotel. They told Bella they were thrilled with the painting they'd purchased tonight, and promised to stop by tomorrow for brunch before they left for Forks. Emmett and Rosalie left next. And then Alice and Jasper said goodnight and disappeared into Alice's bedroom.

Charlie stood awkwardly by the door to his daughter's bedroom, while Bella and I sat on the loveseat, though her back was stiff and straight, as close to her corner as she could get without actually climbing on the arm of the chair.

"Bells hon, you don't need to give up your room to me for the night," Charlie said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "I could sleep out here on the pull-out just fine."

Bella shook her head. "No Charlie. I've already put your stuff in my room. Go. Sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

Charlie remained in his spot. He looked between me and Bella. "But…" – he sighed heavily and ran one hand through his hair – "Look guys, I wasn't born yesterday. I'm a man of modern times, and it doesn't make sense for you to have to go home tonight Edward. You guys just…take Bella's room and I'll-"

"Charlie," I cut him off, before Bella could turn any redder, "It's fine. Really. I'm not that far away. I'll be back in the morning for brunch."

Charlie looked between us uncomfortably once more.

"Dad, really. It's fine. Go rest."

"Well…okay then. Goodnight kids. See you in the morning."

"Good night Charlie," we both answered.

It was the first time Bella and I had been alone all evening, and a heavy silence filled the air. She sat rigidly in her corner, unable or unwilling to look at me.

Finally, I sighed and removed the cashier's check from my pocket, handing it to her.

She reached out with a shaking hand, took one quick look at it and held it back out to me.

"So you sold it then," she said in an empty voice, avoiding my eyes. "I can't take this. The collection was yours. The money's yours."

"No, it was yours," I clarified. "You put years and years of your hard work, and focus, and concentration into it. But now, it _is_ mine."

She finally turned her beautiful brown eyes to me. "What do you mean?"

"I bought it."

I could see the way tears stung the corners of her eyes. "But it's yours. You can't buy what's already yours," she insisted.

That was when I knelt in front of her and took her face between my hands.

"Listen to me Bella," I said firmly. "Before this discussion goes any further, you have to remember we're talking about your art here, not about anything else," I said carefully. I took a deep breath. "You've been working on that collection since you were sixteen years old Bella. That's years and years of work and effort and dedication. Alice told me you'd stay up 'til late at night sometimes, playing with the colors, doing and redoing, starting from scratch, all until you got it just right. Do you think it's fair of me to just take that from you?"

"But I _gave_ it to you," she insisted, her voice shaking.

"You gave it to me, Edward Cullen, your boyfriend. Now I've bought it as Edward Cullen, businessman, part owner of Eclipse, to display indefinitely at my place of business."

She frowned, confused.

"Do you know how much attention that collection brought to Eclipse tonight? How many additional customers I'll probably get as a result of the curiosity and interest that collection's created? You should've heard the talk today Bella around that collection. It'll be the talk of the town by tomorrow. Can you imagine the higher level clientele I'll be able to court because of those paintings?"

"But-"

"Look at how quickly your work went tonight Bella. You've got people tripping over themselves for your paintings, to talk to you about representing you. You want to talk about fair Bella? How is it fair for me to accept all that attention, all the additional profit I'll be earning indefinitely, without recompensing the artist for her work?"

She bit her lip, watching me, studying my eyes the way only she'd ever been able to, trying to read the truth behind them. But I had nothing to hide.

I could see the wheels turning in her head, her resistance weakening.

"But I gave it to you because I love-" she began in a quivering voice.

"This has nothing to do with love, Bella," I said unflinchingly. "This is purely business. As a businessman I'm buying your art, because it'll profit me in the long run."

A tear rolled down her cheek. I held her face tighter and wiped it away with my thumb.

"I'm buying your art Bella, I'm _not_ buying you."

She started crying and met me on the floor, throwing her arms around me.

"Can you see the difference Bella?" I asked, running my hands through her hair and kissing the top of her head.

She didn't answer right away.

"Bella, can you see the difference?"

Finally, she looked up. Her eyes were moist and glassy, but there was a peace and understanding behind them that set my soul at ease.

"Yes Edward." She placed a soft, tender kiss on my lips. "Yes. I see the difference."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, let's be honest. Who believed Edward had sold the collection to Victoria, and who knew he would never do that?**

**Do you see Edward's reasoning?**

**Reviews make me warm and fuzzy on a cold late fall night. Leave one please.**

**One more chapter left later this week, and then the Epi will be up next week…**

**Shameless Plug Alert:**

**Have you checked out 'Thief of Hearts' yet? If not, go do so! It's being featured later this week in The Lemonade Stand's Fic of the Week! You can go see what they have to say about it by going to tehlemonadestand(dot)blogspot(dot)com! Go take a look at the story now and at the feature later on in the week. **


	24. Ch 23 The NeverEnding Story

**A/N: Final chapter of this story. The Epi will be coming next week. Read at the end and we'll talk more…**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23 – The Never Ending Story<strong>

**Early February**

The stage lights overhead shone brightly in the darkened room. In the silence I could hear a few murmured voices and glasses tinkling and banging together, people laughing and talking, enjoying each other's company while waiting for the next act to start. I ran my fingers experimentally over the strings, making sure each and every one was tuned and ready, and then looked up.

Bella stood behind the bar, serving a drink, but her eyes were on me. She grinned widely when our eyes met and winked. I grinned back.

"Go Edward!"

"Yo Cullen! Woohoo!"

Voices called out eagerly, but as usual, I focused only on Bella's beautiful face and hypnotizing eyes.

"For my Bella," I said simply.

Hoots and whistles rang out throughout the club and Bella's face flushed. But she put down the mug and stood stock still, watching and waiting.

_Woke up this morning next to you  
><em>_Gazed for hours there at you  
><em>_Watched you dream and sigh and breathe and it was you  
><em>_Always you_

_The sun seems brighter when you're near me  
><em>_You paint the colors I want to see  
><em>'_Cause in your eyes the world is exactly what it should be  
>It should be<em>

_You're a beautiful dreamer  
><em>_You're a beauty creator  
><em>_You take what's here and make it sun and stars and moon  
><em>_And its better, yeah it's all better  
><em>'_Cause you're a dreamer  
><em>_A beautiful dreamer_

I paused and grinned, gazing at Bella. Her eyes had grown wide and glassy. With a smile on her lips she mouthed "I love you," and blew me a kiss. The large crowd gathered at Nitelock saw our exchange and hollered their loud approval. I chuckled.

_I watch you see and I'm amazed  
><em>_No other one can see your way  
><em>_You've got a vision all your own and its greens and browns and no other  
><em>_one can ever be the same  
><em>_The same_

_You're a beautiful dreamer  
><em>_You're a beauty creator  
><em>_You take what's here and make it sun and stars and moon  
><em>_And its better, yeah it's all better  
><em>'_Cause you're a dreamer  
><em>_A beautiful dreamer_

_Yeah, you're a beautiful dreamer  
><em>_You're such a beauty creator  
><em>_If you're not here the sun and stars and moon don't shine  
><em>'_Cause you make it better, yeah all better  
><em>_You're a dreamer  
><em>_My beautiful…dreamer_

Silence filled the club for a few seconds once I was done, and then suddenly loud cheers and clapping erupted like fireworks. I grinned crookedly, carefully taking Bella in as she made her way out from behind the bar and towards me. She took the six or seven steps up to the stage and then stood in front of me, smiling. Abruptly, she laughed and with a quick jump wrapped herself tightly around me. I let go of my guitar and let it hang from my shoulder strap while I held Bella up and against me and kissed her long and hard. She was the only groupie I'd ever need.

Still, the entire Nitelock crowd went wild.

We both chuckled and then Bella pulled away and looked in my eyes.

"I'm so glad we met again."

I grinned widely. "Ditto."

OOOOOOOOOO

**A few months later:**

The Forks sky was brightening up. Large dark clouds had been threatening just a few minutes ago, claps of rolling thunder had rung out far in the distance, warning of a possible storm approaching. But the warm Spring sun now shone insistently in the sky, peeking out through those same resistant clouds and showing them who was really boss up in here.

"There you go," Charlie called out encouragingly from his seat on the porch swing. Despite the warm temperature today, a heavy blanket lay over his legs and his hands were wrapped around a warm mug of tea. They shook slightly, but he ignored it as he called out his instructions and directions to me. "Now tighten the screws on the boards and stand them up."

I did as I was told and carefully picked up the fence boards.

Charlie looked at them and smiled widely. "Good job son. Now you know how to mend the fence."

I grinned at his praise while Jake barked at my side. He'd been running around the front yard while I worked, alternating between inspecting my work and chasing a rare butterfly that kept teasing him.

"How 'bout you boy? Do you approve too?" I asked him.

His tongue wagged and he moved closer so that I could pat his back. I complied with a chuckle.

"That dog doesn't leave your or Bella's side, does he?" Charlie asked quietly.

I looked up at him while I continued patting Jake. Despite everything else, Charlie's bright eyes still sparkled. There was still a joy of life in them. I grinned at him.

"Yeah, well. It was tough going there for a while. He didn't want me anywhere near Bella."

"I know how he felt."

I snorted. "What does that mean?"

He smirked at me and looked away.

"When Bella first moved to Forks she made some friends; some good, some not so good. But she was happy. There was a certain…I don't know…I guess you can call it…_passion_ in her eyes. Then one day, it wasn't there anymore." He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "It happened to coincide with when you left town."

I looked down at Jake. He turned on his back; a sign that now he wanted his belly rubbed. I rubbed away absently.

"Eventually she got over it," Charlie continued. "Life has a way of going on no matter what. The world doesn't stop spinning. I had no idea what had really happened, but for a while there, you certainly weren't at the top of my favorite person's list."

He was silent for a while. When I finally forced myself to look up at him, he was watching me intently.

"I'm surprised you didn't tell me to get lost that first time I returned to Forks with Bella."

Charlie snorted. "You're missing the point here son." He drew in a deep breath and smiled. "Edward, I've been given the…gift," he smiled wryly, "of knowing how special life really is. I don't have time for pointless grudges or hard feelings. When I saw Bella that day I could tell she still had some issues to resolve, but I also saw that passion in her eyes again. I wasn't about to mess with that," he chuckled weakly.

I inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly. "Thank you. For giving me the benefit of the doubt."

"Yeah well," Charlie muttered, looking away with an embarrassed twitch.

"Time for soup," Bella called out, walking out of the house holding up a tray with three bowls. I stood up and went to help her, placing the tray on the small side table while she positioned herself next to her father on the swing and then picked up his bowl.

"I'll go make some iced tea," I said quickly. Bella was about to protest, but then understanding seemed to cross her features.

"Okay, thanks," she said simply. As I walked away I could vaguely hear her talking to Charlie.

"Alright dad, open up…"

It was a Saturday in early June. I'd come up for the weekend, the way I had for the past couple of months, to see my parents, to help around the house, and to spend the weekend with Charlie and Bella.

Bella moved back to Forks a couple of months ago.

After the auction back in early December, Bella's work as an artist began to take off. Siobhan McAdams, the art dealer she'd met at the auction, took Bella under her wing. She'd displayed some of her work in real galleries in the Seattle area and had gotten her name and work out there where it mattered. Within a few months, Bella's name had become well recognized in the area. Her paintings sold well for a new artist.

In January, Bella sent a personal check to Mike, paying off her debt to him. Afterwards she and I went out for a nice dinner and celebrated into the early hours of the morning. With that issue cleared, and with the money she was making both at Nitelock and from her paintings, it was easier for her to keep up with Charlie's medical expenses, as well as her own expenses. Still, she struggled at times, and though it was hard for me, I stood by her and simply loved her as she'd asked me to, because I knew how talented my Bella really was; it was only a matter of time before all her struggling would be just a distant memory.

One day in late April Bella and I were sleeping in after a late night at Nitelock. Jasper, Emmett and I had become regulars on Open Mike Night, and we'd been jamming until way past official closing time. I'd written a few more songs, and we'd play them and laugh and drink and hang out 'til sunup with whoever else wanted to stay and hang, which had in the past few weeks grown to a decent-sized crowd. A couple of agents had even stopped by the club a few times, offering to represent us if we wanted to try cutting a few tracks of our own. The girls were all gung ho for it, of course, joking about how hot the idea of dating band guys was, but I wasn't sure if it was what I wanted right now. As far as I was concerned, my dreams had already come true. So we put the idea on the backburner for the time being; something to revisit sometime in the future.

When both our phones rang at the same time that morning, Bella and I woke up immediately. I was still checking my caller ID when I heard Bella say my dad's name, and as soon as saw my mom's name on my phone, I got up and started getting our things ready.

Charlie made it out of the hospital a couple of weeks later.

Bella put her rising star on hold. She and I had a long talk and decided the best thing at that point would be for her to move back in with Charlie. She left her job at Nitelock, and called Siobhan and told her she'd have to take a short leave of absence for a while. It was hard for her, but little by little, Bella had realized that accepting help was more than just blank checks that bound you. So I took over Charlie's medical expenses, as well as the rest of she and Charlie's other expenses. Now Bella could spend what time Charlie had left _with_ him; helping him, talking and laughing with him; building their final stories together.

As the months passed, Charlie needed more and more help from Bella. And as she'd always done in every aspect of her life, she gave all she could and then some. In the past couple of weeks, the meds made Charlie shaky; hard for him to feed himself. But the Chief still had his pride, and I respected the man as much as I respected my own father.

So I went and made iced tea while Bella fed her father.

Once I was sure they'd had enough time I came back out.

"Your soup's gotten cold son," Charlie scolded me when I returned with the pitcher of iced tea.

"Oh yeah?" I said, pouring out three glasses on the small side table. "That's alright. I'll stick it in the microwave and it'll be fine."

"Here, I'll take it inside and rewarm it," Bella offered. She piled her and her dad's empty bowls on the tray and set mine next to them. "Be right back," she said cheerily, placing a kiss on her dad's cheek. She smiled at me as she walked by, a smile that said it all, as I'd finally realized a few months ago it always had. When I looked back at Charlie, he was staring after her with a bittersweet look in his eyes.

While I waited for my soup, I sat cross-legged on the grass in front of Charlie, throwing a stick for Jake. He'd bark when he saw it flying through the air and then rush off after it before catching it and bringing it back so that we could repeat the whole exercise over and over again.

"Thank you Edward," Charlie said suddenly. "From the bottom of my heart."

I looked up at him. "I didn't do anything Charlie. Your daughter taught _me_ everything worth knowing."

He shook his head. "You helped her find her passion again. You helped her remember that that's what this life is all about. Not money or power or obligations, but real all-consuming passion. Do me a favor, when…when I'm gone, don't let her wallow and grieve for too long." he asked quietly. "Give her time, but then give her passion; give her love, so that she won't forget what this life is really all about."

"I will Charlie. I swear." I swallowed thickly. "I'm going to marry her someday Chief. I don't know when exactly. A month from now, a year from now, five years from now. Whenever she's ready. And then we're going to have lots of babies, and we're going to…name one after you. And I'm going to take good care of all of them Charlie. I'll keep a good roof over their heads. I'll fix the tiles and mend the fences when they need mending." Charlie snorted. "And I'll sing our kids to sleep because not for nothing, your daughter may be a lot of things but a good singer isn't one of them." He chuckled and nodded, agreeing. "I'll make her happy Charlie."

He looked back at me with a tired but peaceful smile. "I know you will son."

Charlie passed away quietly in his sleep one night in late July. Bella was by his side. And I was by hers.

OOOOOOOOOO

**Six Weeks Later:**

Through my sleepy haze, I heard the phone ringing. I ignored it. It was my landline. She wouldn't be calling my landline and I couldn't care less about anyone else who would. The ringing stopped.

Then it started again.

I groaned and pulled my extra pillow - Bella's pillow - over my head. It felt cold and stiff; unused in too long. I inhaled deeply and could still vaguely smell her on it. I closed my eyes tighter and conjured an image of her behind my lids, ignoring the persistent ringing.

_Aaahhh_. _Rich brown hair and deep brown eyes_.

But even in this image, the passion, that _look_ in her eyes was still missing. I exhaled heavily. When the phone stopped and started up a third time I gave up.

"What Shorty?" I snapped.

"Good morning to you too, Grumpy," Alice answered. "I've been calling and calling…"

"Yeah, no kidding," I grumbled, throwing my head back against the pillow. "Don't you have anything better to do than call me off the hook Shorty?"

"Well, I already did Jasper this morning," she said matter-of-factly. "He's knocked out and snoring next to me."

I groaned. "I keep telling you Shorty, TMI."

"Oops," she giggled. "Sorry. Without Bella here, I still have trouble with the boundaries."

"Good rule of thumb," I muttered, "When in doubt, always hold back."

"Alrighty then," she giggled, "I'll keep that in mind." She stopped giggling. "You're going up to Forks today, right?"

"Yeah," I answered.

Bella had been in Forks for the past six weeks. She'd stayed to take care of everything after Charlie's passing. I'd stayed with her for the first month, but for the last two weeks I'd been going down on weekends and a couple of days in between. Bella needed time, I knew this. But it was still hard not to be with her every single day. Still, she had to deal with Charlie's belongings, to clean up the house, pack things up, etc.

Siobhan had been patient with her. She'd called a few times, but each time Bella told her she wasn't ready to paint again yet, and promised to call her once she was back in the swing of things. So she stayed in Forks, took care of Charlie's stuff over there, had lunch and dinner with my parents a few times a week, and waited for me in between. When I'd get there, she and I would spend time going through old albums, packing up those things that wouldn't be needed any longer. We went to Bella's meadow often. We'd sit on a blanket and talk; plan, or just lie there holding each other, sometimes making love. Then we'd come home and have dinner, or go to my parent's. There we'd talk and laugh and hang out.

But Bella hadn't painted in months.

"I'm calling because Siobhan called me," Alice said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "She said she tried calling you too but you didn't answer. She's got something big for Bella she says and sounds really excited about it, but she's having a hard time getting in touch with her. Edward," Alice paused, but I could hear the frustration in her voice.

"It's time she came back Edward," she finally said.

I opened my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair.

'_Give her time…don't let her wallow for too long...'_

"I know Shorty." I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I know."

Forty-five minutes later I was crossing the bridge over Bainbridge, watching the light raindrops fall on my windshield. It reminded me of the first time I crossed the bridge with Bella. She'd looked out at the rain and described to me all the colors that she saw in gray. She'd left me speechless.

It was time for her to see those colors again.

I could hear Jake barking from around the corner when I neared the small white house. He always seemed to sense my arrival and would be at the door waiting for me. The thought made me chuckle as I made my way up the driveway, and when the door suddenly opened and Jake bounded out, I wasn't surprised. He ran towards me full speed and jumped up insistently on his front legs, his tongue hanging and his tail wagging quickly back and forth.

"Hey boy," I said, patting his head the way I'd been taught to do long ago. I pulled out the treat I'd brought him from my pocket. "Here you go." He snatched it from my hand and bounded off to eat it.

Bella was waiting by the door, smiling softly. I pulled her into my arms and held her tight, kissing her tenderly.

"Missed you," she murmured when I pulled away from her mouth.

"Missed you too."

We walked in and closed the door behind us.

After dinner, we watched TV for a short while. The eighties had finally ended, and we'd moved on to Nineties comedy dramas. Tonight we were watching 'Jerry McGuire'.

Bella fell asleep half way through the movie. I carried her upstairs and laid her up in her bed in her room; she'd kept her room even though it was smaller than Charlie's. I took her clothes off and left her in her panties and bra, and then stripped down to my boxer briefs and got in beside her.

In the middle of the night, I woke to the feel of Bella running her hands through my hair. When I opened my eyes she was over me, smiling, and brought her mouth down to mine. We made love slowly.

When Bella and I had first gotten together, our lovemaking had been frantic and agitated, as if we were trying to make up for lost time. But now we'd learned how to take our sweet time, how to enjoy the emotional connection lovemaking gave us.

For a long time, Bella rocked over me languidly, lowering her head to kiss me, to run her tongue against my neck. At one point, when she looked at me I could've sworn I saw something sparkle in her eyes, something I hadn't seen in them for a while. But before I could give it a closer study, she pulled me up by my arms, sitting me up under her. Surprised, I slid my bottom to the edge of the headboard, where Bella grabbed on and rocked over me quicker and quicker. My thrusts eagerly took on a more insistent rhythm to keep up with her. I watched her sigh, listened to her moans, and felt her heart beating in sync with mine. She cried out loudly when we were done, and I held her against me, her warm legs wrapped around my waist and her head resting on my shoulder.

"You haven't done that in a few weeks," I murmured quietly.

"I've…missed you."

"You just saw me a couple of days ago," I teased her.

I could feel her smile next to my neck. "So I did."

We were both quiet.

"Siobhan's been trying to get in touch with you."

Her warm breath fanned across my bare back.

"Maybe…maybe I should call her back," she said faintly.

I smiled in the darkness.

_Don't worry, Charlie. I won't let her wallow for too long._

"Maybe you should," I agreed.

For a long time, we were both silent.

"What if…what if everything's different now?" she whispered.

"What if it is?"

I stroked her hair and kissed it tenderly. "You're my beauty."

"And you're my strength," she answered.

I lay us down over the bed and we fell asleep, still wrapped around each other.

OOOOOOOOOO

The next morning, while Bella was cleaning up the table after breakfast, I snuck up behind her and carefully wrapped a folded up bandana around her eyes.

"Hey!" she chuckled, "What's going on?"

Jake circled us anxiously as I tied the bandana tightly and inspected the front to make sure Bella's eyes were completely covered. His tale wagged back and forth insistently and he snorted loudly.

"Don't worry, buddy," I chuckled, "Bella's fine."

He sat on his hind legs and watched us curiously.

"Edward, what are you doing?"Bella asked again once I was done.

I placed a soft kiss behind her ear. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," she said matter-of-factly, "You know I do.

I wrapped one hand around hers and the other around her waist. "Then walk with me."

"Where are we going?" She smiled curiously.

"Don't worry about it."

Jake followed us out the door. "Come on boy," I called back.

He barked and wagged his tail, circling us as he walked.

"Edward, I'm going to fall!" Bella cried as I led her behind the back of the house, through the unmarked trail I'd come to know so well in the past few months. The late summer air was warm this morning, and though the clouds were out as usual, it was still dry out.

"I won't let you fall," I promised, holding her tightly against me as I led her through the damp trees and bushes and soggy ground.

We made our way through the dark woods, slower than usual as I guided Bella over rocks and bracken. Every once in a while we'd stop for a few minutes, when Jake got distracted by a climbing squirrel or by a bird flapping in the sky and decided to go follow. But then he'd return and we'd take up our trek again.

Until we came to the familiar Evergreens standing sentry, and I picked Bella up and led her through them. When we came out, we were standing at the edge of her meadow, the one where she'd first learned to dream long ago.

With the blindfold still wrapped around her eyes, I placed her feet back on the floor.

"Edward, what's going on?" she asked, though I was pretty sure she'd already guessed where we'd come.

I stood in front of her. "Do you remember telling me once that, dreams aren't meant to be realistic, that it's up to us to make them reality?"

She nodded slowly.

"They also don't come true on their own. We need to guide them."

She was silent.

"Sometimes…things happen, and…it's hard to get back on track. But if we want to honor those that believed…that _still_ _believe_ in us…then it's our duty to reach for the sky."

A tear rolled past the bandana, falling off her chin.

"Ready?" I asked.

She nodded again.

Slowly, I reached up and lowered the bandana from her eyes.

Her eyes met mine for two seconds before her attention was caught by the easel a few feet behind me. She stared at it for a few moments, her brows furrowing, and then the sun broke through the clouds overhead, sending rays of shimmering light directly over the meadow. Bella's eyes widened and she stared out at the view before her.

_There_ was the _look_. The _look_ I'd seen so many times before over the last year. Awe. Wonder. Inspiration. The _look_ that meant she was painting; even if just in her mind.

The first time Bella and I met, I was an insecure, awkward kid. I'd look in the mirror and fail to see anything of any worth. Because I was young. Because I was too busy focusing on the wrong things; too immature to see the beauty within.

By the time Bella and I met again I'd convinced myself beauty consisted of flawless skin, hard bodies, power and intimidation.

She taught me the truth.

I see the beauty in the rain. I see the beauty in the trees. When I'm driving back home to Forks I can _almost_ smell the mountain air and the damp leaves and moss. I feel the beauty in something as simple and everyday as watching old eighties flicks with friends. I play beauty with my fingers when I write a song for her. I _live_ the beauty of real friendships. But most of all, I look in Bella's eyes and I see my own beauty reflected in her pupils.

She called me her strength, but my strength comes from the way she sees the world; from _her_ _absolute beauty_.

It was time for her to see the world again.

_I promise Charlie. I won't let her grieve too long._

I grinned and leaned into her, bringing my mouth close to her ear.

"It's time to wake up Bella," I murmured gently.

She closed her eyes and smiled. With a nod and a deep breath, Bella slowly but unwaveringly made her way to her easel, ready to continue her story.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I want to thank you all who've taken the time to read this little story of mine. I appreciate you trusting enough in me to stick around. Happy endings are sometimes bittersweet, but those we lose never completely leave us, as I've come to learn. They become our inspiration.**

**The Epilogue will be up next week. **

**Leave me reviews and let me know what you've thought of this story and this ending (though we'll get to see some more next week!)**

**And don't forget to check out my newest story, 'Thief of Hearts,' if you haven't yet. You can put me on Author Alert if you'd like. I've already got the next story after TOH planned out too, and probably the next couple of stories after that. Too many ideas running around in my head.**

**Thanks.**


	25. Epilogue  Legend

**A/N: This is it guys…**

**Still trying to catch up with reviews, so I apologize if I haven't gotten back to you yet.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with an **_**almost**_**-perfect Edward.**

**Chapter Song Rec: _Good Life_ by One Republic (Love this song. Fits this Edward to a tee, I think.)**

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue – Legend<strong>

**Eight Years Later:**

The army of yellow cabs made their way down Fifth Avenue like a swarm of angry bees. Horns blared; unyielding tires screeched and fought for prime position down the busy evening street. I watched it all from the large clear windows in the gallery, and then I looked up and beyond at the silver encrusted skyscrapers dominating the skyline. The night above was clear, much clearer than it usually got in Forks, or even Seattle for that matter.

"Edward."

A warm hand tugged on mine and pulled me gently, turning me around. Though Bella's eyes were as sparkling as ever, they also held the usual apprehension and self-consciousness these events tended to cause her. She reached up to adjust my tie nervously for about the twentieth time tonight.

"You look very dashing Mr. Cullen," she teased in an uppity tone, knowing I reserved the tuxes specifically for the New York events.

"Why thank you Mrs. Cullen," I responded in the same tone. I took her in from the top of her shiny hair, to the dark blue Alice Whitlock creation she wore, to the bottom of her open-toed heels, and up again.

"Have I told you how absolutely ravishing _you_ look tonight?"

I _had_ told her a few times already, but lately she seemed to need more reminders.

She smiled dubiously, smirking at me through long eyelashes before turning her attention back to adjusting my tie.

"Yes, ravishing. I'm sure that's what I look tonight," she drawled sarcastically. "But thank you for the lie. I don't _feel_ very beautiful these days, but as long as my handsome husband still thinks so…"

"You are as glorious, if not even more so, than ever," I reminded her firmly, wrapping my hands around her waist. I looked around the busy gallery.

"Look at the way everyone looks at you and your artwork," I whispered.

Bella flushed even deeper and moved in closer to me. I instantly regretted my words. Even more than usual, the last thing she wanted right now was to be the center of attention.

But a wry grin lit up her face. She moved her mouth close to my ear.

"They're looking at you my love, not at me."

She backed away and looked at me, and I frowned and looked around the room again. Various men and women strolled around admiring Bella's artwork. Their eyes jumped fleetingly from the walls over to where she and I currently stood off in a quiet corner. Over the past few years, I'd come to realize different locations brought on different demographics in clientele. New York usually brought out a thirty-something and up crowd, sipping wine slowly with their chins held high and their eyebrows raised in deep reflection. Yet sure enough, as I took a closer look at the women strolling around and glancing our way, I noticed their eyes trail over me, taking me in from head to toe.

I groaned lowly and dropped my head.

Bella chuckled, moving in close to me again and wrapping her hands around my face.

"Looks like the cougars are out tonight hoping to catch a glimpse of my husband as well as my art."

I pursed my lips, suddenly feeling self-conscious myself. "If that's how they choose to waste their time then that's their loss," I said.

Bella chuckled. "I'm pretty positive they don't see it that way." She kissed me softly on the lips. "And I can't really say I blame them."

I smirked and kissed her soundly to distract her. The last thing I wanted her thinking of right now was other women looking at me. She was already feeling a bit insecure these days, though I knew that deep inside she knew she had nothing to worry about.

The distraction worked. When she pulled away her eyes were glassy and dazed. I grinned widely.

"So what were you looking at before?" she asked, having completely forgotten the cougars.

"I was just looking at how clear the night sky is here."

She shrugged, unimpressed. "Yeah, it's okay. When I was living here though, I always felt like it was missing something…"

I smiled softly at her, feeling goose bumps rise over my arms when she trailed her hands down my shoulders and arms. Even all these years later, Bella's touch still managed to drive me crazy, and based on the way her breath would always hitch when she'd press her hands firmly over me, it still did the same for her.

She scowled though when she tried pressing her whole body against me and couldn't get close enough. I chuckled and placed my hands on her hips, running them up and down her sides.

"Don't worry," I murmured, "When we get home we'll find a way to make it work."

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered, not completely appeased. She sighed heavily and pouted. "I want to be home already."

I gazed at her and raised one hand to stroke her cheek. "I know love. I do too. Tonight's show is the last one for this tour, and I've already told Siobhan not to even think of scheduling any more shows for you for the foreseeable future. We'll be home soon," I promised her.

She gazed at me gratefully. "Good because I spoke to Rosalie earlier and she told me it's been raining non-stop in Seattle for the past couple of days." Her eyes flashed towards the window and up at the clear sky outside. She pursed her lips disdainfully. "And I'm missing it all."

"What'd Rose say about Emmett? He must be having a field day with all that rain. You know how their back yard tends to flood."

Bella chortled. "Yeah, she said he was out there in knee high rain boots, cursing and yelling, yelling and cursing and saying he can't wait for us to get back so you can help him drain the back yard already."

I rolled my eyes. "I told him not to buy that house, but he wanted to be by the water."

"Maybe now we can finally convince them to move to Forks with us," Bella whispered conspiratorially.

I grinned at her, knowing how much she'd love to have Rose and Emmett and their little boy Jonathan closer.

"Maybe…" I answered. "Lord knows my parents would be thrilled to have us all in Forks."

Bella smiled excitedly, "And I've almost got Alice and Jasper convinced to move back to Washington year-round. Alice is established enough at this point where she can do her work from anywhere. And then little Jonathan could play with-"

"Isabella Swan," a familiar voice called out. Bella and I both turned around at the same time.

And came face to face with the receding hairline of Mike Newton.

"Isabella Swan," he breathed again, grinning. "Look at you." His eyes trailed over my wife as he moved in closer, arms outstretched.

Bella raised her brows and remained stock still.

Mike backed up and cleared his throat. His eyes moved to me, jumping once to where I still had one hand protectively wrapped around Bella's waist.

"Cullen."

"Newton."

Silence.

"How've…you both been?" he asked slowly.

I tightened my hold around Bella's waist. Instinctively, she moved in closer to me.

"We've been well," I answered shortly.

Mike grinned, the same exact grin he'd been sporting since high school. But that seemed to be about the only thing that hadn't changed in the past few years. He'd gained weight. A whole lot of it. Which would've been fine except that his pants seemed to fit about four sizes too small, as if he hadn't gotten the memo about the extra pounds he'd put on. The middle button on his suit jacket looked about ready to pop to the sky. His once thick blonde hair had receded to the back of his head and his forehead looked long, wide and shiny. I could almost see my reflection in it. And there was something off about his nose…

He cleared his throat again. "Bella, Edward, this is my fiancée, Lauren Mallory."

For the first time I noticed a woman standing next to Mike, her posture as stiff and rigid as his. She was tall; taller than him, and her hair was cropped into a short boyish thing that I could only assume was on purpose. She was frighteningly thin; the strapless red dress she wore showed off nothing more than the way her shoulder blades popped from her skin. Over the years though, my wife had taught me the importance of not being rude. So I held back a shudder.

Bella and Lauren shook hands. "Pleased to meet you," my wife said graciously.

"Likewise," Lauren responded coolly, a small scowl on her skeletal face. She turned and raised her hand as if to shake mine. But the bitch scowled at my wife, and rude or not, I wasn't touching her.

When she finally realized I had no intention of shaking her hand she dropped it and simply nodded at me.

"Pleased to meet you," she said.

"Yeah, likewise," I muttered through a rigid jaw.

"Lauren's a model for Tall and Lovely. You know, the magazine that sells lingerie for tall and thin women?"

Bella and I both stared between Mike and Lauren.

"Oh, uhm, congratulations?" Bella offered. "That must be…interesting work."

Lauren smiled through thin red lips. "Yes, it is. Thank you."

Another awkward silence ensued.

"Well Bella," Mike finally said, "I see your little hobby finally paid off. I must say I was surprised at how quickly you were able to repay the loan a few years back."

I stiffened at the mention of 'the loan.' My jaw locked tightly. Bella apparently sensed my temper rising to levels unseen in years, because her warm fingers dug into my side and she tightened her grip on me. I let out a long and heavy breath.

"Edward's always been very supportive of me and my work. I owe all my success to him."

Her words were like a soothing balm, and suddenly, I grinned.

What the hell was I getting so wound up about here? Mike belonged to a past that now seemed so long ago it was almost forgotten. Had there ever been a time in our lives when Bella and I hadn't belonged to each other? There was no reason to be upset, or wary, or even bothered by Mike's unexpected appearance tonight.

Feeling strangely calm and at ease all of a sudden, I turned to my wife and smiled at her tenderly.

"No love, you don't owe your success to me." I ran a finger across her soft, glowing cheek. "You owe it to the huge talent you were born with."

Bella grinned widely at me, and for a few seconds, we simply gazed at each other. Her eyes bore into mine with an intensity that always took my breath away.

Over the years, she'd painted my eyes over and over, each one the same yet different in a way only Bella could ever accomplish. The 'Windows' Collection had been featured in countless art magazines throughout the years. We'd lent it out at different points in time, to two or three carefully selected galleries. It had become, as the lady had predicted long ago in Eclipse, Bella's crowning glory.

A few years ago, she'd created a new addition to the collection. But this one had more flecks and tones of brown-

"It really is great to see things worked out so well for both of you," Mike said.

Begrudgingly, because he'd interrupted one of my favorite thoughts, but no longer furiously, I turned to look at him. He was trying to grin, but knowing him as I did, and knowing he'd always been and would probably always be a bitter and sneaky motherfucker, I could see the sneer hidden underneath. For the first time in my life though, it didn't bother me.

"Well, for all of us," he corrected himself, a wry smirk on his face. "Bella's a well-respected contributor to the art world, I've made a" – he snorted – "huge fortune in mergers and acquisitions in this economy," – he turned and grinned emptily at his fiancée – "and Lauren is the envy of the modeling world."

If Lauren was the envy of the modeling world, then there was something seriously disturbing going on in that part of the universe.

But once again I remembered my wife's lessons on manners. I forced myself to keep a straight face. Not that it mattered since Lauren was looking away from us, wearing a bored expression on her bony face as she surveyed the room distractedly.

"And you?" Mike sneered, leveling me with his beady blue eyes. "What's going on with you, Edward? Do you still own that little nightclub in Seattle?"

I grinned. "No, actually, I don't. My brother Emmett runs it on his own now. He's done pretty well with it."

He raised his brows. "Really? So what _do_ you do now?"

If he really didn't know, I wasn't about to enlighten him.

"A bit of this, a bit of that. I've been trying my hand at song writing actually," I said casually.

"Song writing huh?" He snorted. "How's that going?"

I shrugged. "You know how those things go…"

Bella turned to me. "Edward, your songs are-"

I shook my head minutely at her. She rolled her eyes and snorted, but didn't finish her sentence.

"Oh." Mike's sneering grin grew. "Well, sounds like a cool little hobby anyway. You keep at it man. Maybe someday something'll actually come of it."

I chuckled. "Maybe."

"How does it feel though" - he continued - "to be so much less successful than your partner? I mean, Bella's art probably pays all the bills at this point, doesn't it?"

"Mike," Bella hissed in a not-at-all-well-mannered venomous tone I'd rarely ever heard from her, "How dare-"

I turned to her with my grin still in place.

"Shhh love," I cooed, kissing her mouth once gently. The last thing I wanted was her getting upset right now. My mouth on hers always seemed to instantly calm her, and it did the trick once again. She drew in a deep breath and smiled ruefully against my lips.

With Bella nice and calm again, I turned my attention back to Mike.

"You want to know how I feel Mike?"

He narrowed his eyes, his grin faltering for a moment before he nodded uncertainly.

I drew in a deep breath and smiled - a genuinely thrilled smile - and then let out the breath in one long gust.

"We were in London a few weeks ago. And France a few months before that. And Spain last year. Or it could've been Portugal. Honey," I said, my eyes flickering to my wife quickly, "Do you remember? Oh well, it doesn't matter. We've got Bella's paintings to remind us. Sometimes our friends and family come with us, sometimes it's just…us. Bella draws and paints anything and everything that inspires her, and you want to know what I do Mike? I watch her. Sometimes I'll strum my guitar while she gazes at the moon's reflection over the Mediterranean, or at Tuscan sun setting over the vineyards, and then the lyrics for a song may or may not come to me." I shrugged carelessly. "It doesn't really matter. Sometimes I just lie next to her and sleep while she dreams. Lots of the time I run around with our-" I stopped when I saw Bella's face. She looked like she wasn't sure whether to stop me or burst out laughing.

Mike on the other hand, was openly smirking now.

"So I take it the life of a rather…aimless wanderer suits you then?"

Just then a waitress passed by carrying a tray of wine and champagne, and the beers Siobhan always ordered for me. Tempting, but I didn't pick one up.

"The world is my wife's canvas, and I'm along for the ride. Suits me just fine," I shrugged.

Mike snorted, and picked up a glass of wine for himself and one for his fiancée.

"A toast then." He looked at Bella. "To Bella and her continued success. You see? I always knew you'd make it."

Bella smiled crookedly. "Did you Mike? My memory must be a bit fuzzy at the moment. But I suppose I should thank you too then, since it was partly because of you that Edward and I even thought of that first auction a few years ago."

Mike stared at her warily. I chuckled and pulled Bella in closer.

"No hard feelings then?" Mike asked with an arrogant grin. "Edward, you seem to have done well riding Bella's coat tails." He snorted and took a sip of his wine.

I looked at the man. Strangely enough, I could've sworn that back in high school Mike and I had been about the same height. But now I stood a few inches taller than him. And then I figured out what was wrong with his nose; the slight bump in the middle and the way it curved a bit to the left.

"No. No hard feelings," I answered honestly.

"No hard feelings," Bella echoed quietly. Her voice was calm and serene. "But just to correct something my husband said before, he _is_ responsible for _much_ of my success. As a matter of fact, my most successful pieces would've been impossible without him."

She turned her eyes over to the display in the middle of the room, and all our eyes followed hers to where a couple of the pieces to the 'Windows' collection hung majestically, bright lights shining on it from every angle.

The very first one, the one she'd given me all those years back in high school, had been reframed, and we'd wrapped the lyrics to the first song I wrote for her around it, like a border. It had become a favorite of the modern art scene. Usually we kept it at home, but after much begging by Siobhan, we'd lent it out for a couple of weeks to this gallery.

We'd also lent out another one, the newest one to the collection. This one was done in more tones of browns and bronze, and less greens-

"But our most priceless treasures…" Bella continued in a reverent voice, "…well those we've definitely created together."

She whipped her head around just then, her beautiful face morphing into the smile she only gave one person in this world – for now – and then I heard the rhythmic pitter patter she'd obviously picked up on a few seconds before me. I turned around and grinned just as widely as her when I saw the little body with long bronze curls skipping our way. She launched herself into my arms and wrapped herself around me.

"Daddy, daddy! Aunt Alice bought me the prettiest dolly at the toy store," my daughter exclaimed in her musical voice.

I kissed her soundly on her forehead.

"Did she Charlie? Did you remember to say thank you the way mommy's taught you?"

Charlie nodded her head vehemently, her long curls bobbing up and down, framing her creamy skin – so much like her mother's – while her chocolate eyes – Swan eyes – danced excitedly.

"'Course I did daddy!"

I chuckled and hugged her tightly to me. Bella moved in and rubbed our daughter's back soothingly. Charlie turned her three-year old eyes towards her mom.

"Mommy, when are we going home to Washington? I want to play with Jonathan."

Bella smiled lovingly at our daughter. "Soon baby. Soon."

Charlie grinned widely, showing off her dimples.

"So this is…your daughter?" Mike asked. I'd forgotten about him and his fiancée.

This time I turned proudly towards him. "This is Charlize Meadow Cullen. Charlie honey, can you say hi to Mr. Newton and Ms. Mallory?" I coached her.

Charlie smiled shyly, her creamy cheeks turning the same pink color her mom's tended to.

"Nice to meet you," she said quietly.

Neither Mike nor Lauren answered her.

"Mike?" A squeaky voice asked from behind.

Mike turned around and came face to face with Alice.

"Alice Brandon," he said distastefully.

"Alice Whitlock actually," Al corrected him with a scowl.

Mike was about to say something when his fiancée opened up her mouth for one of the first times all evening.

"Are you Alice Whitlock the designer?"

Alice gave Lauren a 'who-the-hell-are-you?' once-over the way only she ever could, and then nodded once curtly.

"Oh my God," Lauren gushed, no longer as stiff and cool as she'd been a few minutes ago. "I absolutely love your designs!"

Alice pursed her lips. "Thanks," she said coolly.

"I was so hoping I'd bump into you tonight. I'd be absolutely honored if you'd consider designing my wedding dress!" Lauren continued to blabber. "I adored what you created for your wedding, as well as what you put that song writer Ed C's bride in when he got married a few years back!"

Alice smirked. "Well sorry," she said, sounding anything but. "I don't design wedding dresses for just anyone. I did mine because it was me, and Bella's and Rosalie's because they're my BFFs. But that's about it. Besides," she snorted, looking over at Mike with thinly veiled hostility, "if you're marrying this guy, no wedding dress in the world is going to detract from-"

"Alice," Bella said in warning.

Alice rolled her eyes and stopped.

But Lauren's eyes had grown even wider. She turned to give my wife a quizzical glance.

"I don't…understand." She looked from me to Bella. And then over again once more before her already huge eyes bulged.

"Oh my God! You're Edward Cullen, as in Ed C, the song writer?"

I shrugged noncommittally.

"You are!" she whispered, shocked. "I can't believe I didn't make the connection. I mean of course I noticed how hot you were when Mike introduced us just now, but I don't pay much attention to the music world because Mike likes me to listen to Jazz and Classical mostly, and when I'd seen that picture of you and your bride in that magazine I'd only focused on how breathtaking the dress was! But of course!" she giggled, covering her mouth like a school girl. "You're Ed C!"

"Who the hell is Ed C?" Mike asked in an exasperated huff.

"Ed C!" Lauren squealed, stomping her foot. "He writes music and lyrics for some of the biggest acts in the music industry!"

I looked over at my daughter. A small line had formed between her eyes as she tried to understand what the adults were going on about. I handed Charlie over to her godmother carefully.

"Al, do Bella and me a favor? Take Charlie to the back for a bit while we finish up here."

"Do you want me to just take her back to my place? Jasper's got dinner going and-"

"No, that's fine. We'll be done in the next few minutes and then we can all leave together."

Alice grinned. "Okey, dokey." She turned her blue eyes sweetly towards her goddaughter. "Come on kiddo! Let's go see what Siobhan's got going on in the back!"

Charlie giggled and went happily with her aunt.

I turned to Mike. "Well Mike, it was…" _Good to see you? Take care of yourself? Keep in touch? _

Bella cleared up the closing pretty easily though.

"Good-bye Mike." Her voice was even and expressionless. "Lauren," she said next, though this time I thought I detected more than just a little bit of that venom from before back in her voice.

"It was good to see you Bella. You look…great," Mike answered, his tone a bit more wistful than I would've liked. But I'd stopped being that hot-headed guy, infuriated by Mike's position as Bella's fiancée, a long time ago. Now I was a husband and a father and an uncle. If Mike regretted anything, it was for him to deal with. Not me.

"Edward," Mike said, all wistfulness gone from his tone and an undisguised loathing replacing it.

"Good-bye Mike."

"Ed C- I mean…Edward," Lauren suddenly said, sounding much more girlish than I could've ever imagined someone like her sounding, "Would you mind giving me an autograph?" she giggled. "Otherwise my friends will never believe-"

Bella's grip on my waist tightened to about the nth degree. I held in a chuckle.

I shook my head. "Sorry. I don't do autographs," I answered succinctly.

Lauren's face fell, and in the next instant, Mike swung her around firmly. They walked away, stiff and formal, sipping their wine.

I shook my head and turned to Bella. She was watching Lauren walk away with a murderous expression on her face. I pulled her into me and kissed her, calming her down again. When she pulled away, she gazed up at me sheepishly.

"I have one question," I said seriously. She raised an eyebrow.

"What would you have done if I'd listened to you and pursued a career as an actual musician, singing and playing instead of a more behind-the-scenes type, and then by some strange miracle _actually_ made it big? Those autograph requests might've been more of the norm." I chuckled teasingly.

She frowned. "First of all, you _have_ made it big. You've got a couple of those gold little miniature gramophones at home to prove it. Second of all, I have no doubt you would've made it big writing music for you to play and sing _yourself_ if that's what you would've wanted. Miracles would've had nothing to do with it. And lastly, to answer your question," – she gazed at me abashedly – "I'm sorry and I hope it's just the hormones talking right now, but I think I would've bashed a few faces in if they would've come asking for autographs and looked at you the way that skank just looked at you."

I tried not to bust out laughing, because I knew she wouldn't appreciate it in the condition she was in now. Maybe in a few months…

"Don't worry love. You're the only one I'll ever sing or sign autographs for."

"Oh you'll sign my autograph? Why thank you Mr. Cullen," Bella drawled, batting her long eyelashes sarcastically. "Or should I say, Ed C?"

I rolled my eyes. "I should've never let Jasper be my manager after that god-awful name he came up with."

"Hmph," Bella snorted. "It's been a hit with the models apparently. Hmph," she snorted again.

I brought my mouth down to hers, tasting the sweetness of her lips against mine as I took first one then the other. And then I ran my tongue teasingly against her lips. She groaned lowly.

"Better?"

She sighed. "Yes. Better."

I chuckled against her lips, tracing her lips with my tongue.

"Edward, we're in public," she laughed. "Besides, what will all these Ed C fans think if they see you making out with someone as huge as me?"

I brought my hands down to her belly and rubbed it tenderly.

It _was_ pretty big. But she was five months pregnant, and carrying twins this time, and looking more beautiful and glorious than ever as far as I was concerned.

I remembered my words to Charlie, my father-in-law, a couple of months before he'd passed away.

'_We're going to have lots of babies…'_ I'd told him.

I grinned widely to myself now. I'd kept that promise.

And fuck had it been fun keeping it.

"They will think," I said slowly, gazing into her deep brown eyes so she could see the sincerity of my words, "that I am most probably the luckiest man in the world."

She smiled and kissed me one more time. "Ditto."

Bella sighed. "Let's go. I'm tired. Siobhan can handle the rest on her own."

I grinned and turned her around, wrapping an arm around her waist and guiding her towards the back of the gallery, to claim our daughter and head home.

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><p><strong>AN: Once again guys, thanks for following me with this story, and I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into their future.**

**Leave me reviews and let me know what you thought of it, and what you thought of Mike's future. Was it fitting?**

**Now that we're all done with this, I'll be seeing you guys over at 'Thief of Hearts!' Don't forget to put me on Author Alert/Story Alert for future stories!**

**Thanks!**


	26. OneShot: Ch1 BPOV: Cinderella

**A/N: I was listening to 'Good Life' and got to thinking of these two. Here's Ch. 1 of IWEMA from Bella's POV. Though I enjoyed writing that story solely from Edward's POV, I feel like there were things we never learned about Bella because of it. **

**This is just meant as a one-shot for now. Maybe I'll continue it. Maybe not. Don't really know so I'm not making any sort of promises. **

**Hope you enjoy though!**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer.**

**Ch. 1 - Cinderella**

* * *

><p>"Yo Crusty Cullen, you planning on taking some lucky girl to senior prom next week?" Mike snickered from one of the seats behind me.<p>

We were in Mr. Molina's Bio class, waiting for it to start, and while Jessica talked my ear off about how Tyler had _finally_ asked her to prom, he and his buddies Mike and Eric laughed and joked behind us. And now apparently they'd started up with Edward.

Assholes.

"Hey Crusty, didn't you hear me?" Mike continued. "What's the matter, all that zit pus clogging your ears?"

A spasm of fury coursed through my veins.

"Shut the fuck up Newton," Edward growled, his usually velvety voice thick with anger.

I couldn't help the wide grin that filled my face. Or the thrill that ran up my spine.

_That's right Edward. You tell him._

Mike and his buddies pretended to be taken aback by Edward's retort, but _still_ wouldn't leave him alone.

"Looks like Crusty's about to blow," goddamned Mike continued. "Watch out everyone, unless you want pus raining down all over you!"

_Seriously Mike?_

All around us, kids snickered. To my side, I heard Jess let out a short chuckle. I wheeled around and leveled her with an icy glare that quickly wiped the amusement off her dumb face.

Then I turned to look at Edward. His handsome face was red, anger and embarrassment etched into the fine lines on his forehead. He raised fisted hands over his desk. My heart ached and God, I wanted to reach out and touch him, because Edward looked beyond furious, and I knew, even if Mike didn't, that he'd had enough.

Edward was going to pummel Mike.

And while at that moment I would've loved to see nothing better, Edward was graduating in a couple of weeks. The last thing he needed was to get into a fight so close to graduation.

"Mike, stop being such a jerk," I called out quickly, before Edward could do something he might regret later on. "Leave Edward alone."

I met Mike's eyes and glared at him for a few moments before turning my eyes to Edward, where I was once again met with the most beautiful, rich green eyes in the world.

_Edward_.

He rewarded me with that wonderfully crooked grin of his, the one that, for the past two years, made my heart pitter patter loudly in my chest. I smiled back helplessly, wishing for the hundredth time that he'd ask me to prom before he graduated, and wishing I had the balls to ask him.

"Don't listen to them, Edward," I said, gazing at him like a helpless fawn. "They're just immature jerks." I narrowed my eyes and turned them towards Mike again. His beady little eyes looked startled, as if he couldn't believe I'd defend Edward over His Highness.

"Hmph," I snorted and looked away. When I turned my attention back to Edward, his usually bright emerald eyes had darkened.

"For your information asshole, I _am_ asking someone to prom."

_Edward was asking someone to prom…_

Every particle of air was somehow sucked out of the room, and suddenly I couldn't breathe.

Mike started to laugh.

I frowned, because he wasn't usually such an asshole, but every once in a while, some kind of bug would crawl up his ass. He turned his amused eyes towards me and something in my expression must've alerted him to how close to dead he really was.

The amusement fell from his face.

"Really? Good for you man! May I ask who the lucky girl is?" he asked Edward.

And there was the million dollar question.

I held my breath and watched Edward, chewing on my lip so desperately that the metallic taste of blood pooled on the tip of my tongue.

_Please say Bella. Please say Bella. Please say Bella…_

"None of your fucking business," Edward hissed back, and turned around in his seat.

I let go of the breath I was holding, disappointment and relief washing over me all at once.

Edward hadn't said 'Bella,' but the upside of that was that he hadn't said anyone else's name either. There was still hope. I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer. When I opened them back up, Edward was looking at me and when our eyes met I smiled at him helplessly, totally lost in those eyes, in the way they sparkled, _literally sparkled_; green and gold and brown and yellow all swirling around and then exploding like a supernova star in the middle of his pupil.

_Lordy_.

How was it possible that a pair of eyes could do all that?

It wasn't. That is, unless they were the eyes of one Edward Anthony Cullen.

OOOOOOOOOO

Edward's words rang in my ears on the drive home from school that afternoon.

'…_I am asking someone to prom…I am asking someone to prom…I am asking someone…'_

I sighed and turned up the volume on the stereo in my truck. Since my parents' divorce when I was a baby, I'd been living in Phoenix with my mom, Renee. Ever summer I'd come up to visit my dad, Charlie. We had a pretty cool relationship. He was quiet, like me perfectly content to live in his own head most of the time. So we got along well. Though I knew my mom loved me, she'd always had a hard time understanding me. So when she met Phil and decided to marry him, I figured it would be a good time to make a change of my own. That's how I'd ended up in Forks year round.

The first day I walked into Forks High School, all eyes turned to me; the shiny new toy in a town of only 3,000 residents. I'd been headline news; police chief's daughter moving to town after getting sent away by her flighty mother and all. Everyone's curious stares combined with subtle and not-so-subtle whispers made me nervous. My face flamed the entire morning, yet still, they all kept staring.

"You're the new girl, Isabella?" this blond boy had asked me after I accidentally bounced the volleyball off of his head in gym. He was cute, but there was something beady about his blue eyes. Like a snake…

I'd nodded silently.

"I'm Mike, captain of the football team."

I'd stared at him for a few seconds, until I realized he was waiting for some sort of reaction to this information.

"Oh. Okay. Nice to meet you."

He grinned at me and just stared, and right when I'd begun to feel uncomfortable, a girl with long, curly brown hair joined him.

"I'm Jessica. And these guys here are Eric and Tyler." She signaled towards a couple of other boys laughing and joking behind her. "We're the ones you want to stick with if you want to catch up around here. You know, you being new to the area and all."

I found that to be a strange greeting, and simply smiled and walked away, figuring Jessica would get the hint.

But though she'd said I was supposed to stick with them if I wanted to 'catch up', she ended up being the one sticking to _me_ for the rest of the morning. Following me from class to class, introducing me to everyone else. After a while I simply let her, because she was sort of funny anyway, and it did feel good to at least get to know some people.

But by late morning I was more than ready to have the day end. Jessica Stanley apparently had an 'on' switch, but no 'off' switch. She'd been in three out of the four classes I'd had so far, and I breathed a sigh of relief when she walked away from me once I reached Mrs. Cope's Junior English class. It was an AP class, and from what I'd learned of Jessica so far that morning, I couldn't say I was surprised to learn that she wasn't in it.

Unfortunately, I also realized as I walked into class alone, that having Jessica around had been a sort of godsend. Being a pretty…loud individual, she'd happily horded everyone's attention when we walked into class, creating a human barrier for me to hide behind. Now I had no such barrier.

So I walked in as silently as possible and made my way over to Mrs. Cope for my syllabus.

"Ah," Mrs. Cope exclaimed loudly. "The new girl, Isabella Swan."

The familiar flush crept up my face as all eyes turned to me. She handed me my syllabus.

"Just take any empty seat you want honey," she encouraged loudly.

Hushed whispers rang out loudly as I made my way up my own personal green mile. And then as my luck would have it, I tripped over my own two feet, even though I'd been staring directly at them, and had to reach out and steady myself over the desks. Quiet snickering filled my ears. I bit down nervously on my lip, missing Jessica and her loud mouth. When I finally reached my seat, I blew out a huge sigh of relief.

You know those Disney Movies?

My mom Renee hates them. She says they're corny and cliché and give young girls a skewed view of the realities of love and life.

Girl (usually a princess) and Boy (usually a prince) lock eyes and fall in love instantly, without knowing one darn thing about each other. Requisite problem ensues. Boy rescues Girl. Boy and Girl live happily ever after. The End.

Maybe she's right about them.

All I know is the strangest thing happened after I took my seat in Mrs. Cope's class that morning.

It started low in my belly, the sensation you get when you're going up a steep rollercoaster. Anxious nerves coupled with building excitement. And then the sensation grew, spreading like wildfire all over my body, tingling up my arms and legs, like little butterflies tickling me all over. My heart rate picked up, and without any conscious thought, I looked up…

…and directly into the most beautiful emerald eyes I'd ever seen in my fifteen years of life.

They were like jewels, rich and sparkling and prismatic; full of life, of expression. If eyes could talk, the ones I was gazing into would write leagues and leagues of books. Sonnets. Masterpieces.

Yes!

That's _exactly_ what those eyes were. _Masterpieces_.

Corny?

Cliché?

Maybe.

But it was true.

Princess or not, just like 'Girl' in those Disney flicks, I was in love with my Prince before I even saw who the eyes belonged to.

But once I did, I sighed, all the stress and tension of the day melted away, and I felt as if I were exactly where I'd been meant to be all my life.

He was _beautiful._

Tall and thin, with a strange, yet wonderful head of bronzish hair on his head, and a ruggedly strong jaw. He wore glasses, I noticed now, which just added an air of intelligence and allure to him. And he had a couple of pimples on his face, making him all the more _real_, otherwise he would've been just _too_ perfect, too Disneyish. Unaware of what I was doing, I smiled at him, because there was just no way I couldn't.

I'd found my future.

And at only fifteen!

How can you _not_ smile at that?

And then somehow, thankfully, he smiled back. A slow, shy, yet honest smile, and brilliant white teeth glimmered from his perfect mouth.

I loved him and didn't even know his name yet. He was perfect. _Absolutely perfect_.

Okay. Maybe my green-eyed angel wouldn't have been cast as the prince in one of those corny Disney movies.

But that was good! Those guys were usually empty, narcissistic, superficial jerks anyway. They'd always go after the princess, and then when she trampled on their hearts, that's when they'd realize they really belonged with the peasant girl instead. My green-eyed angel didn't look that type at all. I suspected that guy Mike would better fill that role.

_Edward_ was his name – as I found out when Mrs. Cope called on him a couple of times. And he was smart too, the way he answered those questions. His voice was smooth and rough at the same time, like velvet to the ears, and it sent tingles up my spine to hear it. After class, I'd been waiting outside to introduce myself to him – something I _never_ usually initiated – but Jessica had suddenly appeared and by the time Edward walked out of class, with his head down for some reason, she was chewing my ear off, and I'd missed my chance.

So Jessica and I walked to lunch together. I let her blabber on and on while my mind raced around different scenarios I could use to introduce myself to Edward. Within a few minutes, those guys from Gym – Mike, Tyler and Eric – joined us.

Mike started staring at me again, once more making me uncomfortable.

"So how are you liking Forks Bella?" he asked, leaning closer to me than necessary. I mean, yeah, the lunchroom was noisy but it wasn't that noisy.

I shrugged. "It's good I guess. Different."

"I can show you around town if you'd like," he suggested with a wide grin. "Take you to all the cool hangouts. Being football captain makes me a bit of a celebrity around these parts." He twisted around so I could get a good look at his Letterman jacket. "I could get us into all the good parties. Plus, I've got my own car. We could drive anywhere we want…" He moved in even closer and once again gave me that weird little smile of his.

I suppressed an eye roll. Yeah, this Mike guy was definitely starting to creep me out a bit.

"No thanks," I answered, sipping on my soda. "I think I'll manage okay on my own. Besides, my dad likes knowing where I am at all times and him being police chief and all, it might put a damper on your parties."

He leaned away slowly and this time I suppressed a grin.

For the next few minutes, I sat and ate my lunch, smiling and nodding or shaking my head in all the right places.

And then I felt it again. That strange, tingling feeling in my stomach. The little butterflies…

My head shot up and once more, I was met by those beautiful eyes.

Edward was watching me from across the room. He startled slightly when our eyes met, probably embarrassed to be staring at me the way everyone else had been doing all day. But at least he had the decency to do it when I wasn't watching. I smiled at him, to let him know I wasn't upset at his curiosity, and if I was being honest with myself, for once, it'd actually felt good to be stared at. Yet before he could smile back, or respond in any way he'd deemed fit, Jessica leaned in to me and whispered in my ear with a chuckle.

"That's Crusty Cullen. Trust me Bella, you do _not_ want to be his friend."

Her words stiffened me, so cruel, so evil and ignorant. That was when I knew, these people, Jessica and Mike and the rest, I could talk to them, maybe even hang out with them once in a while, but they were a cold, empty bunch. They would never be people I'd confide in.

Without giving it a second thought, I got up and started walking towards Edward.

"Hi."

There! I'd done it! I'd said 'hi' to Edward!

For a few seconds, he simply stared at me, and all my earlier confidence suddenly started to melt away, because he didn't look very happy to have been bothered during lunch time. He had a book open in front of him, and apparently I was intruding. My palms felt uncomfortably sweaty, and I could feel the heat traveling up my face, and just as I was about to turn back and run the way I'd come in, he swallowed his food and responded.

"Hi."

That voice. Smooth and rough. Velvet. I could listen to that voice and nothing else for the rest of my life and die a happy girl.

I swallowed thickly and forced myself to keep going.

"I'm Isabella Swan. Well, Bella. Everyone calls me Bella."

He nodded, not appearing very interested by this information.

Still, I'd come this far. If I was going to make a fool of myself, there was no sense in stopping now.

"You're Edward?" I asked, as if that wasn't plainly obvious.

Again, he just nodded.

"It's nice to meet you," I continued, and then, as my mom had taught me, I put my hand out.

Edward stared at it for a few seconds, as if debating whether shaking it was something he wanted to do or not. Finally, he cleared his throat and reached out for my hand.

To say his touch ignited a thousand sparks inside me would be an understatement. Every nerve ending in my body tingled when his hand came into contact with my own. My eyes widened in shock.

And strangely enough, Edward's beautiful eyes seemed to widen too. For a split second I let myself think that maybe he'd felt it too, until I realized he was probably just reacting to my strange reaction.

"Nice to meet you too," he said lowly.

"You're in a couple of my classes," I pointed out, my mind still boggled by the intense physical reaction his touch was producing.

Edward nodded again, but he quickly dropped my hand, as if my touch burned him. I frowned, unable to completely hide my confusion.

"English and Math," he answered, and before I could feel elated at the fact that he'd noticed me in his classes, he followed it up with, "You're brainy, I guess."

Not exactly what a guy says when he finds a girl attractive. Another blush fell over my face at that realization.

I wasn't totally unattractive, I knew that. But I wasn't exactly a bombshell either. And to top it all off, I was a lowly freshman. I couldn't exactly blame Edward for not being attracted to me.

"Yeah, I guess," I murmured, my voice thick with undisguised disappointment. "Looks like you're pretty smart yourself, the way you answered those questions in Algebra class," I babbled.

He shrugged. "Got nothing else to do but study." A wry grin lit up his face. Yeah, I supposed in this little town there wouldn't be much to do but study.

I smiled back at him, a new thought suddenly forming itself. Maybe if I wasn't instantly attractive to him, I could slowly ingrain myself…

"Well you know, maybe…" – I swallowed nervously – "maybe one of these days, uhm, if you have time, you can help me catch up in Algebra? We were working on some different stuff in Phoenix and I'm not sure if I understand what we're doing now."

It wasn't a _total_ lie. We _had_ been working on different stuff in Phoenix, and for the first five minutes or so of class I _had_ been confused. What if tomorrow's lesson confused me even more?

Edward's beautiful face suddenly lit up with something like understanding, as if some big mystery had abruptly been cleared up. It was…strange. But if he agreed to help me with math, I'd have an excuse to spend more time with him. I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed quickly. "Whenever you want to go over anything, you just let me know."

He agreed!

I grinned widely, but Edward's attention had gotten diverted to right behind me. His rugged square jaw abruptly locked tightly together, and a frightening fury darkened his green eyes. I thought I heard laughter behind me and turned around, in the direction Edward was glaring in…

Mike and his friends were talking and laughing with each other. I frowned, confused as to why this would cause such a strong, negative reaction in Edward. I turned back around to him.

"I guess you should be getting back to your new _friends_." He spat the last word like a curse.

I raised my brows, his dismissive tone a bit hurtful. But I guess I'd taken up enough of his time, and he was ready to get back to his lunch.

"Alright Edward," I said quietly, unable to completely suppress my disappointment at being dismissed. "I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah, see ya," he muttered, and then looked away and back down at his lunch, showing me with actions that he'd had enough, in case his words hadn't done the trick.

For a few seconds, I couldn't make myself move. So I simply stood there, wishing I could think of something else to say. But my embarrassment quickly got the best of me, and I turned and walked back to Jessica and the rest.

They all stared at me when I sat back down, as if suddenly they weren't sure who I was.

"Are you crazy?" Jessica hissed. "Why'd you go talk to him?"

"To Edward?" I asked with a frown.

She nodded vehemently, while the rest looked on, awaiting my answer.

"Because he seems like a nice guy," I answered, my tone making it obvious the question seemed senseless to me. I shrugged. "I want to be his friend."

"Nobody's friends with Crusty Cullen," she sneered.

My nostrils flared. "Why not?"

She snorted. "Have you looked at him?"

My chest heaved and my hands fisted at my sides. I'd never been the fighting type, but suddenly I wanted nothing more than to punch Jessica Stanley in her big fat face.

"Yes," I hissed, looking between her and the rest of her friends at the table. "I have looked at _Edward_. And _Edward_ seems like someone _I'd_ really like to get to know. And I suggest you stop calling him Crusty Cullen. As daughter of a cop, take my word for it when I tell you that you can get into some serious trouble for name-calling and bullying nowadays." I couldn't help the wry grin that popped up at the shock and sudden fear in their eyes. "I'm sure none of you would want something like that to go on your permanent records. Would you?"

None of them answered. I raised a brow. "Would you?"

"No, no of course not," they all called out at different intervals.

I smiled sweetly at them.

OOOOOOOOOO

Over the next few months, Edward and I slowly became friends. It was hard at first, because he didn't really seem to want to be friends with a freshman like me. But I wouldn't give up. Every day I'd take a lunch time walk over to him, where he sat studiously reading, avoiding the mostly small-minded kids of Forks. I couldn't say I blamed him, and sometimes I wished I had the balls to just ignore everyone like he did. But even though I'd sort of threatened them that first day of school, Jessica and Mike and them insisted on being my friends. And well, sometimes they were good company.

But I kept at it with Edward, slowly ingraining myself, trying to show him that I wasn't completely like the rest of them. I'd show up to my classes with him a few minutes early, using my Algebra excuse. But it was hard to pretend I didn't understand! And after a while I think he started getting wise to me, so I dropped it and just talked to him. Eventually, I must've worn him down because he started just talking to me too. About anything and everything. Music, our families, my drawings, his music.

See, Edward wrote music.

Not just any music. He wrote lyrics that had the ability to take your breath away.

Once, during one of our earlier conversations, when I was still trying to get him to 1) forget I was a freshman and 2) just be my friend, I told him about my doodling. What I'd really wanted to tell him about was my Meadow, the meadow I'd discovered a few weeks after moving to Forks. But as much as I played and played that conversation in my head, I just couldn't get myself to tell him. It sounded so silly.

'_Hey Edward. I have a secret meadow. Wanna go up and hang out there with me?'_

He probably had a million and one things better to do than hang out in some meadow with a fifteen year old freshman. And even though we'd slowly started becoming friends over the past few months, Edward was still sort of skittish with me sometimes, as if he wasn't completely sure about this friendship. The last thing I wanted to do was tell him something that would confirm to him how silly I was.

So instead, I blurted my secret about my doodling to him, and then as soon as I did, I regretted it.

Doodling was even sillier than secret meadows.

As usual though, the familiar blush crept over my face, making it impossible for me to take the words back.

"I'd like to see your doodles someday," he smiled at me softly.

_Oh Edward_.

How I wanted to tell him my current doodling consisted of nothing other than his beautiful, magical eyes.

I looked down at my lap, trying to hide the way my face was flaming and probably screaming out how much I loved him.

"I…don't really show my…work to anyone. It's sort of embarrassing, you know? Opening yourself up like that to…anyone."

He was quiet for a while, probably considering how truly juvenile I was. I couldn't make myself look at him.

"You know," he suddenly said, in that beautiful velvety voice of his, "I like to write music."

My head shot up.

"You do?"

He nodded shyly. I loved it when he got all shy like that.

"I make up lyrics in my head and then try them out on my guitar."

"You play the guitar?" I breathed, unable to hide the awe in my voice.

Jesus, how could one boy be so _absolutely_ perfect? Tall, handsome, those eyes, _and_ guitar?

He nodded again, his own face turning almost as red as mine tended to.

And then the next day, he pulled something out of his backpack, and handed it to me, his hand slightly shaky.

"What…" I started, confused at first, until I read what was before me.

_Hey pretty girl with the long brown hair  
>When you smile it's almost more than I can bear<br>Such a sweet face  
>I wanna go any place with you, I do<em>

_Tell me what's on your mind  
>Take my hand and we'll leave it all behind I swear<br>Don't you know you own my heart  
>I knew it from the start<br>That I'd lost it all to you, its true_

_Hey pretty girl, don't you know you are my world?  
>Don't you know you own my dreams?<br>Hey pretty girl, come here give me a twirl  
>I wanna spend each day with you, I do<em>

_Hey pretty girl with the long brown hair  
>When you look at me I swear it's just not fair<br>Your eyes reach into my soul  
>I wanna let you know<br>That I wanna go any place with you, I do_

_Hey pretty girl, don't you know you are my world?  
>Don't you know you own my dreams?<br>Hey pretty girl, come here give me a twirl  
>I wanna spend each day with you, I do<em>

_I wanna spend each day with you, I do_

_I wanna spend each day with you, I do_

It took me almost a whole minute to be able to breathe again.

"Edward…" I murmured once my heart rate had finally slowed to something functional, "You wrote this?"

"Yeah," he mumbled sheepishly.

I gazed at him, wishing to God I could read what was inside that beautiful mind of his, under all that heavenly bronze hair. Who…I mean…was it possible…was there any way in this world that _I_ was the pretty girl with the long brown hair? I bit my lip anxiously.

_Ask him Bella. Just ask him_.

Ugh. I clutched his lyrics tightly in my hand and frowned. I couldn't. I simply couldn't.

"I'd like to hear them someday," I whispered instead.

"Sure, one of these days," he agreed.

Jessica called me then, and knowing she'd continue calling and calling me over until I finally went to her, I said bye to Edward, feeling strangely unfulfilled as I walked away from him. And then suddenly I was walking back towards him, and pulling my drawing out of my backpack, the one of his hypnotizing eyes.

If I didn't have the balls to tell him how I felt about him, I could at least show him.

I looked deep into Edward's emerald eyes and wrapped his hand around the proof of my neverending love.

"Don't show this to anyone, Edward, okay?" He was the only one I'd trust with this.

He nodded, and then I walked away quickly, because if I looked into those eyes for a second longer, I'd break and wrap myself around him instead of just that drawing.

'_Hey Pretty Girl with the long brown hair…'_

My mind circled around the lyrics all the way home that evening, and again the next day.

What did it mean? Did it mean anything at all? Could Edward like me too?

Maybe…maybe he did…and he was just holding back because I was so young.

But now he had proof in his hands that I liked him. There was no way he could look at that drawing and not know that I dreamt of him every day and night. If Edward Cullen did indeed feel anything for me, the ball was in his court now. I would just have to wait.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ah, high school kids can be so silly. **

**Let me know what you thought of what Bella was thinking back in high school. Who knows, maybe I'll continue…**

**Reviews are almost as heavenly as Edward's strange, bronzish hair.**


	27. Chapter 27: Fandom for Preemies

**Fandom for Preemies Info:**

To those of you hoping for another outtake, I've got great info! Read on:

I've given birth to two preemies, and believe me guys, it's not fun. Every second, you worry if they're going to grow up healthy, if they're eating enough. You wonder what you could've done differently, and many times, there's really nothing you could've done. Thank God, my preemies are now strong, healthy school age monsters.

The Fandom for Preemies gives us an opportunity to help preemies grow up strong and healthy by donating to the March of Dimes, to help these tiny little miracles. Throughout March and April, a few authors in the fandom will be writing stories and outtakes for the Fandom for Preemies site. I will be one of these authors.

For a donation as small as $5, you can receive a compilation of all the stories/outtakes that will be written, straight into your inbox. It really is a bargain, and it'll be a win/win situation all the way around. You will get to read some of your favorite authors, and these sweet little preemies will get much needed financial help. Go to:

fandomforpreemies(dot)blogspot(dot)com

You'll get more info there on the author's donating stories, how you can donate financially to receive the compilation, or if you're an author interested in donating a story, you can find out about that too.

Submissions are due April 25th, and the compilations will be sent out to donors on May 1, 2012. Thanks. :)

**What will I be donating? Chapters 2 and 3 of this story, from Bella's POV! **What _was_ she thinking when she went to visit Edward in his bedroom, when he told her the song wasn't for her? And how the heck did she end up going to prom with Mike? What was she thinking that day out on the grass with Edward, when Mike came between them? And finally, how did that prom go, and how did Bella feel when she realized Edward was gone? The answers to this and more are just a $5 donation away!

Follow me on Twitter if you'd like: PattyRosa817


	28. Ch2 BPoV: Beauty & the Beast

**A/N: Hey there guys. This is what went out a couple of months ago for the March of Dimes Fandom For Preemies Compilation. It's Chapter 2 of IWEMA from Bella's PoV. Enjoy, and to those of you who donated, thanks so much. ****I've given birth to two preemies, and it's heartbreaking. Every second, you worry if they're going to grow up healthy, if they're eating enough. You wonder what you could've done differently, and many times, there's really nothing you could've done. Thank God, my preemies are now strong, healthy school age monsters. :)**

**And now…**

**What**** was **_**she**_** thinking when she went to visit Edward in his bedroom, when he told her the song wasn't for her? And how the heck did she end up going to prom with Mike? What was she thinking that day out on the grass with Edward, when Mike came between them? And finally, how did that prom go, and how did Bella feel when she realized Edward was gone? The answers to this and more, below and in the next chapter, following next week.**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. And thanks to Michelle Renker Rhodes for beta-ing both these chapters!**

**Ch2 BPOV – Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

><p>My homework was all done, and I was now laid out on the bed while I waited for Jessica. We were going to the movies this afternoon. I decided to use my time wisely and dream my favorite daydream.<p>

_Edward and I…in__my meadow, laid out across a warm blanket-kissing, laughing, talking…more kissing._

My lips actually tingled as I let myself imagine what his mouth on mine would feel like...lips soft and warm…magical green eyes gazing down at me intensely, searing into my soul….

"_Oh Edward," _I sighed, and kept right on daydreaming.

_Now his tongue-_

The doorbell rang.

Dang-it. I sucked my teeth and sat straight up as my daydream of Edward fluttered away in a wisp of white and bronze clouds. A peak out the window confirmed that it was indeed, Jessica. The real surprise came when I got downstairs and opened the front door.

Mike and Tyler were parked in Mike's car behind Jessica's- waiting.

"What are _they_ doing here?" I frowned.

Jessica shrugged, eyeing me sheepishly. "I invited them."

I narrowed my eyes. "Why?"

I hadn't spoken one word to Mike ever since his epic portrayal of an asshole in Mr. Molina's class last week. The things he'd said to Edward had been disgusting and immature, and I had no plans to utter one word to him until he apologized to Edward.

Jessica rolled her eyes and moved in closer. "Bella," she whined in a low whisper, "you know I'm dying for Tyler to ask me to prom."

"Well then, you should've gone to the movies with just him."

She huffed impatiently and crossed her arms in front of herself, stomping her foot. "He never goes anywhere without Mike, you know that!" she whined again.

I stared at her, wondering if she realized the ridiculousness of that statement. It didn't seem so. I shook my head.

"I think I'll just stay home tonight then, Jess."

Her eyes widened in horror. "Bella, please! I need you there to laugh and giggle with me so that Tyler can see how cute I can be!"

I put my hand on my waist. "Seriously?"

But instead of seeing how stupid she was being, she just nodded vehemently.

"Please, Bella!" she begged again, clutching her hands tightly together in front of her. "Oh, please, please, please, please, please-"

"Alright, alright!" I said, putting one hand, palm out, in front of her. She squealed, and I sighed.

"But you and I are riding in your car, and you'd better not leave me alone with Mike!" I hissed threateningly.

"I won't, I won't." she shook her head solemnly. "I promise."

"Okay," I breathed out, my shoulders slumping.

OOOOOOOOOO

Jessica was one Big. Fat. Liar.

As soon as we arrived at the Port Angeles Cineplex, she took hold of Tyler's arm, batted her eyes at him, and walked into the theater without so much as a glance behind her. I gritted my teeth and followed her in, ignoring Mike just to my side.

In the movie theater, I sat to Jessica's left, and Mike sat to Tyler's right. Five minutes into the movie, Jess and Tyler proceeded to make out through gun shots, a huge fire, and increasing explosions, and they didn't let up for air until the world as we knew it had been totally decimated.

Halfway through the movie, Jessica turned to me, apparently finally remembering my presence. Out of my periphery, I saw Tyler turn towards Mike. Even in the darkened theater, I could see the sheepish look on her face.

"Um, Bella, would you mind if Mike took you home?"

"Um, Jessica, yeah I would," I mimicked indignantly.

She pursed her lips. "It's just that, Tyler and I want to go hang out in my car for a little while…."

I glared at her, in total disbelief that she'd be doing this.

"Come _on_ Bella," she whined at my reaction. "You _know_ how much I like Tyler, and I think he might actually ask me to the prom tonight!" she whispered loudly. A few people behind us shushed her, but she continued. "I swear I'll make it up to you!"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Jessica, please-"

"I'll do whatever you want, Bella, but I think I'll die if Tyler doesn't ask me to prom!"

I glowered at her dramatics, my nostrils flaring, and then exhaled heavily. "You'd better be home by ten, or else I'm telling your mom that you kicked me out of your car, so you could hook up with Tyler."

She squealed and giggled. "I will - promise." And then without waiting for anything else, she and Tyler stood up, laughing, igniting insults and flung popcorn from the people surrounding us, and walked out.

Five minutes later, I turned and begrudgingly leaned over towards Mike.

"Mike, I'm ready to go."

"Don't you want to finish seeing the movie?" he whispered.

I shook my head.

The car ride home was mostly silent. Mike tried to engage me in petty conversation a few times, but I simply shrugged most of my responses, which should've made it clear I had nothing to say to him. When he stopped in front of my house, I thanked him and went to open the car door, but he grabbed my arm.

I whipped around and glared down at where his hand was touching me.

He chuckled. "Bella, what's going on? Why are you so pissed off at me?"

I snorted, my top lip curling up. "Do you seriously need to ask me that, Mike?"

His beady little blue eyes flashed with something like amusement. My mouth tightened.

"I think I might have a pretty good idea," he mused, "but why don't you go ahead and tell me?"

I crossed my arms in front of me. "What you did the other day, the way you acted in Mr. Molina's class…" – I huffed angrily – "that was just horrible."

He sneered. "You mean what I did to _Edward_," he said.

"Yes, what you did to Edward," I agreed.

He simply stared at me with a wry look plastered to his face. For a second, I thought I saw something flash in his eyes again, but not amusement this time. It looked like anger; maybe even envy. But whatever look had been present disappeared too quickly for me to read it. Besides, I had no interest in looking close enough into Mike's eyes to be able to read them. They were small, beady and dull.

Unlike those rich, emerald, hypnotizing eyes that invaded my nightly dreams.

"The things you said were very mean and immature, Mike," I scolded him. "Edward's a sweet, decent, nice guy. He didn't deserve what you did," I finished shakily.

For a full minute, Mike watched me carefully, beady blue eyes studying mine. I got ready to leave again.

"Can I ask you something Bella?" Mike asked suddenly. I turned and shrugged warily.

"Why do you care so much?"

"What?" I spat in frustration.

"Why do you care so much? That was over a week ago. Why are _you_ still pissed off about it?"

"Because it was wrong!" I hissed. "Because it's not right for anyone to be teased like that!"

"_Anyone_?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Yes! Anyone!"

"So you go around defending every kid that gets teased in Forks? Boy, your days must be really busy," he snorted.

I glowered at him and then turned to leave once more, but once again, he reached out for my arm.

"Mike, get off of me," I said through gritted teeth.

He chuckled once again, but let go.

"Alright, alright Bella," he said. "Look you're right, okay? I shouldn't have said those things to Cr- to _Cullen_," he grinned. "But I was just joking around."

"It's a stupid way to joke around."

"You're right. You're right." He leaned back against his driver's seat, staring at me intently in that way that tended to make me nervous. "I was in a bad mood that day and I guess I took it out on Cullen. It was stupid and immature, and it won't happen again. You satisfied?"

I shook my head. "No. You should apologize to him."

His eyes flashed again, but a smooth grin abruptly filled his face. "I already did."

I narrowed my eyes dubiously. "You did?"

"Yeah," he replied easily.

"To Edward?"

"Yeah. To _Edward_," he repeated. "What, you don't believe me?" he asked at the obvious doubt in my voice. "Ask him," he challenged. "Ask him if I really apologized for calling him Crusty Cullen and making fun of his pimples. You'll see. He'll say yes."

I pressed my lips together tightly. There was no way I could ever utter such an awkward phrase to Edward.

"Are you _sure_ you apologized to Edward?" I asked, distrust plainly obvious.

"Would I lie to you, Bella?"

I shrugged.

"Now can we please stop talking about C- Cullen?" he stuttered, that look that made me nervous taking over his features again.

"I suppose," I shrugged again, ready to leave once more.

"Wait! Hold on," Mike called out when he saw me turn towards the door again. "There was something I wanted to ask you Bella. It's about prom."

I froze and swallowed thickly.

Over the past couple of years, I'd gotten the feeling that Mike sort of liked me. But he flirted with every other girl in school, even Jessica sometimes, and they all loved it. So I'd simply ignore him when he got all stupid like that. And anyway, he did absolutely nothing for me romantically. Half of the time I wasn't even sure he did anything for me in a friendly manner.

He couldn't possibly be thinking of asking me to prom, could he? I mean, even if I hadn't been waiting and praying every morning, noon and night for Edward to ask me, Mike was not someone I could see myself at prom with.

"Bella, do you have a date for the prom?"

Oh Crap. He was.

I bit the inside of my lip and swallowed hard again. "Not exactly." Crap. Why couldn't I just have lied like a normal teenager and said 'yes?'

His already teeny eyes got smaller. "Not exactly. What do you mean 'not exactly?'"

"Well…I'm…sort of waiting for someone to ask me. Someone…specific," I almost whispered.

He leaned back against his seat slowly, eyes firmly on mine.

"Would I…happen to know who this someone specific is?"

None of your business.

"I'd rather not get into it, Mike," I said uncomfortably.

It's not like he and I were buds like that, for me to be pouring my heart out to him. I didn't really have anyone like that, honestly. Well, except for maybe…Edward. But he wasn't exactly someone I could tell about my crush either now, was he?

Mike nodded deliberately, never taking his eyes off of me. Abruptly, his demeanor seemed to change, and he grinned again.

"Well, if your specific…person doesn't man up, maybe you'd consider going with…me?"

I sighed deeply. "Mike, I don't think-"

"Just think about it," he put a hand up and cut me off quickly, before I could finish. "We're renting a cool limo and shit," – I resisted the urge to roll my eyes – "and a bunch of us will be going up to Sol Duc Point afterwards. It's gonna be a fucking blast."

I stared back at him blankly.

He smirked and something seemed to flash in his eyes again, but it was dark, and they were so small that it was hard to tell.

"And anyway," he continued at my lack of reaction, "all your friends will be there Bella- Jess, Ty, Eric, and me. Edward will be there with his date," he said off-handedly. "Oh yeah, and-"

"Edward and his date?" I cut him off.

"Yeah," he grinned. "Rumor is he's planning on asking that cutie Angela from Math class. He's got a thing for her," he said with a conspiratorial wink. "You heard him in class the other day, didn't you, going on about his plans to ask her to prom?"

My heart dropped.

"Angela? He was talking about…Angela?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "You know her, don't you?"

Yes. I knew Angela. She was a pretty girl - quiet and sweet. We had a couple of classes together, and we got along pretty well. But she was extremely shy, even more so than me, and every time Jess approached me when I'd be talking to Angela, she'd flutter away, put off by Jess's big mouth I supposed.

Yes. I knew Angela. And I could see how Edward would be attracted to her - and vice versa.

I nodded slowly, though the pain in my chest was excruciating. A visible shudder ran up my spine.

"You okay, Bella?" Mike asked. "Are you cold?"

"I…" I closed my eyes and tried to swallow, but my throat was suddenly so dry. "I actually don't feel too well, Mike. I really need to get inside."

"Okay," he agreed softly, "but just think about what I said, alright? If things don't work out the way you want them to, I'd love to take you to prom, Bella."

"I'll see you later, Mike," I simply said, desperate to get out of his car, to climb into my bed, to curl up in a fetal position and never get up again.

"Alright Bella, good night!" he called out, as I made my way up my driveway. When I heard him speed off behind me I paused in my steps and hunched over, dropped my hands to my knees and drew in a long, deep breath.

"Calm down, Bella," I told myself. "Just-"

Another shudder ripped through me, sucking up all the air in my lungs, and I closed my eyes and drew in another long pull of desperately needed oxygen.

I could vividly picture them together, Edward and Angela. They were both seniors, both smart, and I couldn't blame either one for liking the other. But Edward was supposed to be _mine_. I was _sure_…I'd _been_ so sure it was just a matter of time…that he was just holding off because of my age or because perhaps he _was_ unsure, but eventually, at some point, he'd _have_ to see how much I loved him. And I was getting older now. He'd have to realize that he belonged with _me._

_Hey pretty girl with the long brown hair…_

The lyrics to Edward's song replayed in my head.

But Angela had long brown hair too.

No-not Angela. No matter how nice she was, _not_ Angela!

I mean, I gave him my drawing! I'd put the ball in his court when I'd given him the picture I'd drawn of his eyes. He _had_ to know how I felt about him, didn't he? Or did he just not care? Were his feelings so opposite from mine that we were destined to be nothing more than friends?

I groaned quietly, my head spinning, and suddenly I couldn't take it anymore. I'd been in love with the boy for almost two years now, and I simply had to know.

Did Edward love me too?

OOOOOOOOOO

Fifteen minutes later I was in his room.

I avoided eye contact nervously as I took in Edward's cream-colored walls and Green Day stickers and cute little Yoda poster. He sat still as stone on his bed, while I wondered if it was because I'd surprised him or because he simply didn't want me here. He'd looked so comfortable when I'd first walked into his room with his mom, in cute basketball shorts that showed off his toned legs, and a tank top that revealed thin, yet strong arms. His bronze hair looked freshly washed, and it stood up in a hundred different directions, just the way I liked it. I ached to run my hands through it. Renee had once told me that boys tended to come into their own much later than girls, but I could already see a set of strong, wide shoulders on Edward. In a couple of years, they'd be…amazing just like the rest of him- his hair, his voice, his face, his body…

I could feel my face flushing from my wayward thoughts. I opened my mouth to break the uncomfortable silence.

"So this is your room, Edward?" I murmured, still looking around.

He didn't answer right away, and my discomfort grew. What if this was a bad idea? I could see him in my periphery, the way he was sitting up rigidly on his big, comfy bed. My too active imagination betrayed me then, and offered me up a picture of Edward throwing me onto that mattress, his body hovering over mine, just a couple of inches away, while our chests rose and fell as we gazed at each other. And then without warning he'd close the space between us and mold his warm body to mine, gripping my hair in his hands as he brought his mouth down and opened it over my-

"What are you doing here, Bella?"

I blinked twice and forced my eyes back to his, releasing my lip from between my teeth.

"I…I stopped by to say hi," I said sheepishly, still worried that I'd made an epic mistake and he didn't want me here. I gave him a summarized version of movie night with Jessica earlier tonight, and then how I'd decided to come see him since I'd gotten home early. It was the truth.

Even if I left out the part about not planning to leave until I found out whether he loved me too.

He stared at me, looking slightly uncomfortable and awkward- why? Why was it? Was he nervous because having me in his room made him happy but edgy? I could definitely understand that. I felt that too. Or was it because my being here bothered him? He still hadn't moved from his spot on the bed.

_Why? Why? Why?_

"I could leave, if you'd prefer," I blurted, half-hoping he'd say yes and just put me out of my misery one way or the other already.

Actually no, I didn't really want that.

But he finally reacted. He stood up and his eyes moved to the edge of the bed. "Would you like to," he hesitated, "have a seat?"

Holy heck - Edward Cullen just asked me to sit - on his bed.

I bit my lip and moved slowly to the edge, lowering myself gingerly, as if it was the most simple and commonplace thing in the world to sit on Edward's bed.

On _Edward's_ bed. I was sitting on Edward's _bed_.

My eyes jumped nervously around the room again, unable to hold Edward's gaze while I was sitting _on his bed._

"Do you…want something to drink or something?" he offered, running a hand through that gorgeous mane of his.

"No, thank you," I answered quietly, transfixed by his hair. _Look_ _away, Bella. Look away_.

I forced my eyes away from his hair and beyond to the rack housing his music CDs. Holy heck, it was some kind of collection. Forgetting his hair (well, not really forgetting, just putting it on a back – actually side - burner for now), I bounded off the soft bed and went to look at it.

"Wow," I breathed in awe, "you have so much music." A black jewel case caught my attention, and when I pulled it out I smiled, because we seemed to have very similar taste in music. This particular one was one of my favorites. "I love this," I murmured. When I went to put the case back, my attention was caught by a bookstand next to the music rack. Resting by itself on the middle shelf was a frame. I cocked my head sideways, studying the picture inside the frame. My heart skipped a beat and then sped up as I stood up and went to pick up the frame. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I turned around to face Edward, frame in hand, because it had to mean something, didn't it? That he'd kept this? That is was prominent on his shelf?

"You kept this?" My voice squeaked with delighted surprise.

He shrugged. "It'll probably be worth millions someday." But the playful way he smiled at me let me know he hadn't just kept it for the possibility of financial gain.

I chuckled nervously and looked down at the drawing I'd made of his eyes up in my meadow, the first of many since, and remembered how anxious I'd been when I'd handed it to him. Both scared and hopeful that he'd see what it really was, literally and figuratively. I could feel my face flushing.

"It'll never be worth the paper it was drawn on," I said, trying to distract myself from my thoughts. I knew I was here to find out the truth, but I was so scared that it wouldn't be what I wanted to hear.

"Are you kidding me?" he scoffed, coming to stand just a few short inches away from me. And before I knew it he'd reached out and grabbed my wrist, tugging on it impishly. A million sparks of fire exploded inside me. It took all my powers of concentration to remain upright.

"You're going to be a famous artist someday, mark my words. Your paintings are going to hang all over the fanciest galleries in the biggest cities."

His words shocked me into silence, and then he met my gaze, and I could see that he meant every word. He really did like the picture. He really did like my work.

"You…really think they're decent?"

Edward hadn't let go of my wrist yet, and I stood stock still. I was afraid to move - afraid to make any sudden shifts that would cause him to let go, because the warmth I was feeling was beyond description.

"I think they're light years beyond decent. Watch, someday the world will agree with me on that one."

His words wrapped around my soul, in much the same way his hand was wrapped around my wrist, connected to my heart. And I couldn't stop the wide grin that spread across my face then.

Edward believed in me.

I could've stood there forever- with Edward's words still ringing in my ears, with his hand still wrapped around my wrist, with his green eyes gazing into mine. It was all so much. So much that I felt frightened again. My eyes flicked away from his for an instant, and when they did, they landed on his guitar.

It was plucked against the wall, on the other side of the room. For the space of two seconds, I warred with indecision as to whether to stay here like this with him until he decided to pull away, or to allow myself a quick breather so I could regroup and remember what exactly I was doing here.

Slowly, reluctantly, I pulled my arms away from him, and walked over to pick up the guitar, bringing it with me back to the edge of his soft, unmade bed. With nervous fingers, I tried to play a few strings, but it sounded awful. I could appreciate music, but I'd never had any talent with it. That was all Edward. I looked up at him sheepishly, and he chuckled.

"I know nothing about music," I apologized.

"That's okay," he snorted. "Maybe…maybe I could teach you someday."

There it was again. That hesitation that accompanied so many of the phrases he spoke to me. Did he or did he not want to teach me? Ugh, it was maddening!

"How?" I asked, "You're going…away to college soon."

_Would you overcome that obstacle just to teach me, Edward? _

Edward took a seat on the other bed corner. I turned and angled myself towards him, and he turned too.

"I'll still be around for a bit longer. And…I'll be around…for holidays and stuff."

I looked down and nodded.

_Would you spend that time with me Edward?_

_Jesus, Bella! Ask it aloud? The boy can't read your mind!_

I raised my head quickly and looked into his eyes before I could lose my courage.

"I have a confession to make."

My heart beat wildly at my words, at the startled look in his eyes. My hands felt sweaty, and I resisted the urge to wipe them off on my jeans.

"I did have a reason for stopping by."

He simply stared at me, beautiful moss eyes wide and confused. And Jesus, I wanted to say it.

_I love you, Edward. I've loved you since I first saw you. You don't have to love me too - not yet. But please tell me you at least think of me. Please tell me there's at least a chance. Take me to your prom, not Angela._

"What was it?" he asked quietly.

My courage left me. "Well," I looked down at the guitar on my lap and strummed it nervously. "You told me once that you'd play for me, that song. The first one you showed me." I tried to control my heavy breathing. "You'll be leaving soon, and you still haven't played it for me." _Nor have you told me who it was written for. Was it for me…or Angela?_

With painstaking languidness, Edward moved closer to me, keeping his eyes on mine the whole time. I couldn't have looked or moved away from him then if I'd wanted to. Especially when our thighs barely grazed each other as he reached out and took the guitar from me. And then, with a deep breath, his fingers wrapped around the strings, and the most beautiful sound under the heavens erupted quietly from him.

_Hey pretty girl with the long brown hair.  
>When you smile it's almost more than I can bear.<br>Such a sweet face,  
>I wanna go any place with you, I do.<em>

_Tell me what's on your mind.  
>Take my hand, and we'll leave it all behind I swear.<br>Don't you know you own my heart?  
>I knew it from the start,<br>That I'd lost it all to you, it's true._

_Hey pretty girl, don't you know you are my world?  
>Don't you know you own my dreams?<br>Hey pretty girl, come here give me a twirl?  
>I wanna spend each day with you, I do.<em>

His singing stopped before his fingers did. And for a few long seconds the soft sounds of gentle strings filled the air. Beautiful, but I already missed the sound of his voice, the way his beauty shone through like rays of light in his strong, confident singing. When Edward sang, it transformed him. It gave all those lucky enough to hear him a glimpse of the man I knew he'd someday grow to be.

And the words - the words were for me. I was almost sure now. Mike was wrong. Edward didn't like Angela. I chewed on my lip and waited for him to raise his eyes to mine, so we could put all this awkwardness behind us.

Finally, he looked up, his face was as flushed as I could imagine mine looked, and his eyes looked wary, but so sweetly shy.

"That was…amazing," I breathed reverently, "Even more beautiful than I could've ever imagined," I added, letting him plainly see how much his voice and his words had touched me - how much that song meant. But I had to hear him say it. I had to know for sure.

He looked away from me then, avoiding my gaze and focusing on his reflection in the dresser mirror.

This time, I took a deep breath and forced myself to ask him outright. "Edward…did you…was that" – I swallowed thickly – "is that song for anyone in particular?"

Edward gasped audibly at my question, and I cringed internally, because the question was out there and I could never take it back now. I couldn't un-ask it, undo it, make it go away. His next words would either make or break me, because he knew what I was asking. I could see in his eyes that he completely understood what the question meant, and so his answer would finally let me know exactly where I stood when it came to the beautiful young man in front of me.

Was I the pretty young girl? Did I own his heart?

I hoped I did, because I knew, without the shadow of a doubt, that he'd always own mine.

So I waited. Seconds felt like hours, moments became un-endless as I gazed at him hopefully and waited for the answer that would change my life, one way or the other. That's why, even before he spoke, when he smirked at me, my heart dropped. My stomach rolled. Pain ripped through my insides. When he did finally answer, he looked me right in the eyes.

"'Course not. It's just something I came up with one night when I was bored."

And then he shrugged.

_Shrugged_.

He had my heart in his hands, and he shrugged.

You know those moments in life you'll never forget? Not the good ones. Not the ones that make you smile with a faraway look in your eyes. The other moments, the ones that, regardless of the years that pass, regardless of how circumstances change, regardless of how your life turns out in the end, the ones that will always bring with them an ache - no matter how dulled - to your heart?

This would always, _always_ be one of those moments for me.

I felt all the blood drain from my face, and I bit my lip, _hard_, looking down at my lap as I struggled to keep the tears from falling.

"Oh," I whispered, trying to break the overwhelming disappointment of the moment. And then I swallowed back the bitter sting behind my eyes, the agony in my chest and forced myself to look up.

"Well it's a beautiful song," I offered him evenly because no matter what, that was the truth. "You're very talented, Edward. Have you ever thought about trying to make music a career?" My words sounded foggy, hollow.

Edward frowned, and I had the feeling I wasn't hiding my pain half as well as I hoped to. But there was no need to show it to him, to burden him with any guilt for being unable to return the feelings I felt so strongly. This was my pain to bear, not his. He plain and simply didn't want me, and he'd been generous enough to finally let me know in no uncertain terms. I could no more fault him for that than I could force him to love me.

"I don't know…" he answered, thrusting his hand through his hair again nervously, as if now that he'd cleared things up for me my presence made him uncomfortable again. "It's not a very realistic dream, is it?"

"Dreams aren't supposed to be realistic, Edward, that's why they're called dreams," I responded coolly. "And besides, it's up to you to turn your dreams into reality." And I'd tried, as hard as my sixteen-year old heart would allow me.

But the dream was over now.

I couldn't look at him any longer or I'd burst into tears.

"Bella, I…"

A soft knock on Edward's door startled us both.

It was his mom, checking up on us, by the look on her face. I had to hold in a bitter snort because little did she know that there was absolutely _nothing_ to check up on. She offered me some fresh-baked pie or something, but I barely heard her. And though it was extremely sweet of her, I had to get out of here. Besides a broken heart, the stirrings of shame and rejection were starting to take hold. I _had_ to go.

I declined the pie as politely as possible, and then flashed my eyes quickly towards Edward.

"I…Actually I think I'd better get going." I jumped off the bed and made a beeline to the door.

"Edward, why don't you walk Bella home?" I heard Mrs. Cullen say. "It's pretty late and-"

Out of my periphery I saw Edward get up. Poor guy, his mom had no idea what kind of unwanted position she was putting him in. But I wouldn't torture him any longer.

"No! Thank you," I added in a softer tone at Mrs. Cullen's startled look. "I'm really not that far off. I'll be fine on my own."

"Bella, I-" Edward started, but I couldn't any more. Not while I was dying on the inside.

"No, really," I insisted, and forced myself to meet his gaze. He looked so uncomfortable that despite my pain for myself, I couldn't help aching for him. "Thank you, Mrs. Cullen, for your hospitality." I managed a weak smile in Edward's direction. _I'll be okay, Edward. Don't feel guilty. _"Edward, I'll see you in school."

I turned and walked out.

"Bye, Bella," I heard called out, in that smooth voice of his.

I clenched my eyes tight and opened them up quickly, holding the tears at bay. I did a good job, I must say. The first one didn't fall until I was safely down the block.

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><p><strong>AN: Long, deep breath. Teenage boys are so blind sometimes. And yeah, sometimes so are we girls.**

**Hope you enjoyed this little outtake/alternate point of view for Chapter 2 of IWEMA. Let me know your thoughts. Chapter 3 from Bella's PoV will be posted next week. But that will be ALL! I won't be doing the rest of the story in her PoV.**

**Follow me on Twitter: PattyRosa817 **


	29. Ch 29 Ch3 BPoV: The Princess & the Frog

**A/N: Below, the last chapter that was prepared a few months ago for the Fandom for Preemies compilation. There will be no more Bella PoVs.**

**Enjoy!**

**All characters belong to S. Meyer. And thanks to Michelle Renker Rhodes for beta-ing this chapter.**

**IWEMA Ch3 BPOV – The Princess and the Frog**

* * *

><p>The early morning mountain sun shined warmly against my skin, heating my face as I lay on a blanket in my meadow, alone with my thoughts.<p>

It had been almost a week since I'd shown up at Edward's house, since he'd told me he didn't want me. For the first couple of days afterwards it had been so hard to see him, impossible to look into his eyes - those green jewels - and know they would never return my feelings. I'd spent more time than usual up here alone in my meadow; crying, wishing, thinking.

I could tell Charlie was worried, even if he didn't show it in the ways I assumed most parents would. He'd leave me an extra slice of pizza instead of hogging it all up the way he usually did. The other night, as I'd sat with him in the living room after dinner and pretended to focus on my schoolwork, he'd asked me if I wanted to watch one of my 'girl' shows instead of the ball game that was on. At night, before he went to bed, I'd hear him pause just outside my door; hesitant, anxious.

This morning he finally knocked on my door as I was sticking all my books in my backpack, getting ready for another dreaded day in school. His dark eyes took me in pensively when I opened up.

"Everything good, Bells?" he asked.

"Yeah. Yeah dad, everything's fine." I stood by the door awkwardly.

He shifted from one foot to the other. "Good, because…you've been awfully quiet lately. Anything…" - he swallowed thickly – "on your mind?"

I shook my head from side to side, positive he could see the lie in my eyes.

Charlie smirked, looking way uncomfortable. "You know if there was, you could talk to me about it."

"Thanks dad, but…everything's good," I fibbed.

He watched me thoughtfully for a couple of seconds, and then nodded once, quickly turning away. "Alright then, I'm heading off to work-"

"Dad?"

Charlie turned around, his cheeks tinged in red. "Yes, Bells?"

I drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "How did you get over it? Knowing mom didn't…" – this time it was my turn to swallow – "love you…anymore, I mean?"

Charlie's eyes widened. I could tell I'd caught him off-guard. "Are you asking out of curiosity, or is there another reason you want to know?"

"Simple curiosity."

He pursed his lips, his cop eyes penetrating me while I squirmed under his all-too-knowing gaze. But other than his eyes, his words didn't push for more info.

He sighed loudly. "All I can tell you, Bells, is that nature knows best. Sometimes that's not the most pleasant answer, but it's the truth."

"What does that mean?" I asked with a frown.

"It simply means that what's meant to be will be, and what's not, won't - plain and simple."

"How do you know if something's meant to be?"

"Don't really know," he shrugged unhelpfully. "But I can tell you one thing. If one of the parties isn't game, then it's not."

I nodded, my forehead creased with dissatisfaction.

"I got over it 'cause I had to, Bells," he continued. "She didn't want me," he shrugged again, "and there was no point in trying to hang on."

"Didn't you try to get her back? I mean, what if she'd made a mistake?"

He smiled. "Bells hon, it's been fifteen years since your mom and I split. If she'd wanted me back, she had plenty of opportunities."

"So you've been waiting-"

"No," he cut me off quickly. "I mean," he shifted uncomfortably again, "for a while, yes, I waited. I hoped. But life has a way of going on Bella. The world doesn't stop spinning. But you can't fight nature, Bells. What's to be will be. And what isn't-"

"Won't," I finished for him.

He nodded. "Bells-"

"Thanks dad," I said, "It's nice out today. I'm going to go take a walk before school."

He stared at me as if he wanted to say something, but he'd already said more than I'd heard him say, probably since I'd arrived in Forks. After a slow nod, he moved aside, and I walked past him and down the stairs.

So here I was now, up on my meadow - finally accepting the reality of the situation. No, Edward wasn't in love with me. But he was still my friend.

And the world kept spinning.

OOOOOOOOOO

I arrived at school a few minutes before the first bell, and as I quickly made my way to my locker, for once I hoped Jessica would be waiting for me. Her loud mouth and constant talking was just what I needed to keep the world spinning.

Unfortunately, as I got to my locker, it wasn't Jessica waiting for me, but Mike.

"Hey Bella," he grinned cheerfully when he saw me, his red and white letterman jacket swung from his fingers, over his shoulder.

"Hey Mike," I answered, focusing on the numbers to my combination.

"I was wondering Bella, if you've given any more thought to what we talked about the other night."

My fingers froze around my lock and I bit my lip. "I…uh…"

He put a hand out, palm up, in my direction. "Before you say anything, just hear me out."

Reluctantly, I turned and faced him. Mike took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I know you don't want to go as an actual date, and that's fine, Bella. The truth is I'll be leaving Forks in a few weeks, and all my friends with it. I guess I'm feeling kind of…sentimental, and homesick already," he grinned with a shrug, "and I'll admit to you, I'm a bit nervous about what college life will bring. All I want is one more night of just us, _all_ of us, as friends – young, carefree. One more night that I can hold on to once I'm off in college. That's it, Bella - just friends to hold on to."

"That's it?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"So it's not something…" I trailed off and made a motion between us.

"Bella, I like you. You know that," he admitted while I felt my face flame. "But I can accept the fact that you don't feel the same for me. I still find you attractive. I'd still love to have you by my side at the prom because I know you'd look beautiful. But I'd accept it for what it was - just friends hanging out for probably the last time. All of us."

"All of us," I repeated.

"Yeah."

I stared at him. Most of me still wanted to say no. But at the same time I felt…not so much pity for him…but…for his loneliness. He'd be off in college soon - away in a strange and far-off city with none of his old friends, none of his familiar surroundings. I knew what that felt like. If what he wanted was just one night of friends and fun that he could hold on to while he found his bearings in college, then I could do that. I could be his friend for one more night. Besides, what else did I have to do?

"I'll go with you. But it's not an official date, Mike, okay?"

He grinned his huge grin, the one that tended to make his eyes look smaller. I offered him a meek smile.

"Cool, Bella."

Just then, the bell rang. He walked away from me backwards.

"I'll catch up with you later and we can talk about it more."

I nodded, biting my lip, and reminding myself that the world _had_ to keep spinning.

OOOOOOOOOO

Lunchtime arrived. The quad around school was packed today. It wasn't very often we got to enjoy a sunny afternoon, and the Forks student body was out in full force. I walked around aimlessly - not really hungry - and then I felt it. That tingling in my stomach that always alerted me to Edward's proximity. I looked around and…yup, there he was…sitting on the grass by himself - far away from the rest of the kids.

And I remembered my dad's words.

'_What's meant to be will be. What's not, won't.'_

Maybe a passionate love story wasn't in the cards for Edward and me, but no matter what, we'd always been good friends. There was only a week of school left, and Edward would be graduating. If I could help someone like Mike hold on to good memories of his hometown, couldn't I at least offer _that_ to Edward too, if nothing else?

Couldn't I at least be a good memory for Edward?

Our eyes met, and my heart gave the usual jump it always did. The familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. As I walked over to him steadily, I thanked God for at least Edward's friendship. If it was all I could ever have of him, I was grateful for at least that.

I silently took a seat next to him on the warm grass.

"How are you doing, Bella?" he asked pleasantly, though he seemed a bit anxious this afternoon.

"Okay," I answered steadily. It had been a week since I'd sought Edward out at lunchtime, and my hands shook with nerves. I picked up his half-eaten apple and took a bite, looking for something to do while I calmed myself down. I couldn't help noticing how sweet the apple was, and I wondered if it was because his mouth had been on it.

"You sure?" he asked, his voice tinged with concern. "You've seemed sort of…out of it lately."

I needed to let him know that I was okay, that I'd be okay because no matter what, he seemed to at least care for me as a friend.

I shrugged carelessly and took another bite of his apple. "How are you doing, Edward? Getting excited about graduation?"

It was his turn to shrug. "I guess." His eyes trailed around the quad, his top lip curling up. "At least I won't have to see any of these clowns anymore."

His words hit me like a rock. No, pretty soon he wouldn't have to see any of us clowns anymore. He'd be gone, and I'd be left here…without him…

I dropped my eyes to my lap and chewed away at the apple that now tasted like sand in my mouth.

"No, I don't suppose you will," I agreed quietly. I put down the dry apple and tried for the tuna fish instead, but it tasted just as bland. Everything would be dry and bland without him. I looked around the quad, at faces that held little to no interest for me.

"It's hard, isn't it?" I murmured.

"What's hard?" he asked.

"Trying to fit in. Trying to stay true to yourself while at the same time…" _At the same time accepting what can never be..._

I had to change the subject or I'd end up in tears again. I _had_ to accept the inevitable.

"So when are you heading off for UDub?" I asked, forcing myself to look in his eyes and accept that it would be one of the last times I'd do so.

"In a couple of weeks. I'm taking some summer classes to get a jump on things."

My smart Edward. But it meant I'd have to let go even sooner.

I nodded. "Will you…"

_He's your friend, Bella. It's okay to ask him to keep in touch._

"Will you keep in touch, you know, email me once in a while or something, in between partying and meeting all those college girls?"

_Accept the inevitable, Bella. Accept the inevitable._

Edward smirked. "Yeah, I doubt any of that will be happening."

"How come?' I asked curiously.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly the type of guy that college girls go for," he said dryly.

"Then they're stupid," I pointed out.

He rolled his eyes and snorted. "Oh yeah, because I'm the catch of the year."

How much could I say without crossing that invisible line again? Without pushing the boundaries of friendship? He may not have felt for me what I felt for him, but that didn't mean he didn't have a right to feel it with someone else, whether it be with a college girl he'd meet in Seattle, or with Angela…

"Edward, you see yourself in a very negative light sometimes."

He frowned.

I sighed. Friends could point out their friends' good qualities, right?

"Do you…do you want to know what I see when I look at you?" And there went the heat in my face.

He looked startled by my question, but he nodded.

I plunged on. "When I look at you I see a sweet, smart, kind, talented and generous guy, not afraid to be himself, who has got _so_ much to offer."

"That's 'cause you're the only one who's ever seen past the zits and four eyes," he blurted, and as soon as the words were out of his mouth he sucked his teeth, as if he wished he could just suck the words right back in, and looked away from me.

For a while, I didn't know what to say. How was it possible that Edward didn't realize how _perfect_ he was? Could he really believe that a few pimples and a pair of glasses defined him? Didn't he see everything else beyond that - everything that I saw, that Angela obviously saw, that I was positive dozens and dozens of other girls probably saw, or would see soon? Yes, I'd heard the disgusting name some unknown immature idiot in school had come up with for him, but he couldn't possibly think that's what he was. Could he?

I didn't even realize I'd reached out for him until I felt the sparks that touching him always elicited, the warmth that enveloped my entire being. His beautiful face was cradled between my hands before I knew it, and I removed his glasses and brought his head up to meet my gaze, only wanting to let him know that he was so much more than what was on the outside. That _I_ saw it and that if _I_ could see it, then I was sure he'd find so many others that would too.

But that's not exactly what came out of my mouth, because one look into those sea-green eyes and the wanna-be artist inside took over and spoke for me.

"You have the most amazing eyes, Edward…like…clear windows. They're so bright and alive and…expressive." I bit my lip, because I knew what I was saying went beyond the realm of friendship, but I couldn't stop myself. "If…if I were…if I were to ever try to paint them, I'd use the brightest emeralds, the softest greens. And then I'd swirl in some browns - and even a little black sometimes." I cocked my head to the side, completely forgetting everything except the gift from nature I was gazing into. "But that wouldn't quite get it right either." I turned my head to the other side, trying to pick colors in my mind's eye. "Then I'd try to add some soft yellows, and maybe even-"

I gasped quietly when his hand covered mine, the one I'd been absently caressing his face with. "Bella…"

A fleeting thought went through my head as Edward held me locked in his gaze. A knowledge. An idea that, years from now, when I spoke to our grandchildren of the moment when I'd first realized that their grandfather loved me, this would be that moment.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?"

The whine in that voice was capable of breaking any spell; apparently even the one Edward and I had been under. I looked up and there was Jessica, standing a few feet away with a wide scowl on her face. I watched her, still in a daze, as she came and plopped herself next to me. Edward tensed, and then I remembered I still had his glasses. I blinked back to the present and returned them sheepishly, wondering what he was thinking.

"I was looking for you to see what time you wanted to head for Port Angeles today. I want to get to the dress stores early, before all the good ones are gone!" she huffed.

Somewhere between quadratic equations and graphing inequalities, Jessica had talked me into going to Port Angeles for dresses today. I figured I might as well. There wasn't really anything in my closet suitable for a prom, unless I wore my best jeans and cleanest Converse.

Suddenly, another figure plopped itself at my other side, right in between the small space that existed between Edward and me. Edward moved over to make room for Mike.

"Hey Bella, I've been looking for you," he grinned. "I wanted to see if you and Jess wanted a ride into Port Angeles this afternoon."

I resisted a scowl in Jess's direction. Jeez, we'd _just_ made plans less than an hour ago and she'd already blabbed them to Mike!

I sighed and looked down at my lap again. "No thanks, Mike. Jess and I should be fine on our own."

Mike shrugged. Edward remained silent to his left.

"Besides," Jess laughed at Mike, "you're not supposed to see the dress before prom."

I rolled my downcast eyes.

"Jessica, that rule's for weddings, not high school dances," Mike said dryly.

That right there was probably the one and only thing Mike had ever said that I fully and completely agreed with. Jessica got more and more dramatic with each passing day. I mean, we were all going to a stupid high school prom together, not getting _married_ for God's sakes.

"Anyway," Mike went on, and abruptly he reached out and put an arm around my shoulder heavily, weighing me down. I kept my eyes low, feeling uncomfortable with his proximity, especially when he murmured loudly in my ear, "I'm sure whatever you wear, you'll be the hottest girl there."

So much for that fleeting moment of solidarity I'd felt with him - queue hot face.

"You're going to prom, Bella?" Edward suddenly asked.

I finally raised my eyes and nodded.

_Yes, Edward. Not the way I'd wanted to go to prom, but yes, I'm going. And I'll force myself to be pleasant and supportive when I see you dancing with Angela…whispering in her ear…_

"Yeah, she's going with me," Mike answered Edward.

Well, technically, we were all going in a group. But though Mike sort-of misspoke, I guessed there was no reason to get into technicalities.

"So Cullen, you asked that girl to prom yet?" Mike asked Edward, giving my shoulder a slight squeeze when he asked the question. I felt myself stiffen and kept my eyes low before they could betray me. "Cause if you're going to prom, maybe we can all share a limo?" he went on. "Tyler and Jess are coming with us, but I'm sure we can squeeze one more couple in. What do you think Bella?"

I raised my brows, surprised by Mike's sudden show of friendship towards Edward. Maybe he _was_ finally realizing that Edward was a great guy. Maybe leaving Forks _was_ making him homesick for real friendships.

I forced a smile for Mike, because it was a good first step towards him mending fences with Edward, and because even though the thought of sharing a limo with Edward and his date was like a dagger through the heart, I couldn't think of myself. If Edward and Mike wanted to forge some sort of friendship, I couldn't let my pain get in the way.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," I said quietly and looked at Edward, chewing on my lip to keep from saying what I really wanted to say: _**I**__ wanted to be your date_. "What do you think, Edward? Would you and your date like to come with us?"

Edward stared at me for a few seconds before responding.

"No, I've decided not to go to prom after all." His voice sounded strange, but it was his words that caught me by surprise. Not going? I was torn between relief that he wouldn't be going with Angela, and confusion as to why he'd be missing his prom altogether.

"Oh," was all I managed to say back, dropping my eyes back down as I tried to understand why he wasn't going.

"Well that's too bad, man," I heard Mike say. "If you change your mind, let us know."

A strange silence filled the air for the space of five seconds, but before I could look up I heard Edward mutter, "I've got to go," and by the time my eyes did come back up, he was already on his feet, backpack flung over his shoulder as he booked it out of there at lightning speed.

"Edward!" I called out after him, baffled by his muttered words and his hasty departure, but he didn't even spare me a glance backwards. Instead, his pace picked up and before I could even take another breath, he was back inside the building.

"That's a shame," Mike murmured next to me, watching Edward disappear. "I guess Angie said 'no' to him."

"How do you know she said no to him?" I defended Edward quickly. Then I realized Mike still had his arm around my shoulder. I looked at it sideways and wiggled back and forth until he finally got the hint and dropped his arm. "Maybe he just made other plans."

Jessica snorted. "Yeah, other plans. Like sitting in front of the TV like a dork all night, popping his pimples."

My head slowly turned towards Jessica, and the evil smile fell from her face as soon as our eyes met. She swallowed thickly.

"Jess, you seriously have to be the most evil bitch this school has ever known."

"Yeah, Jess, that was pretty messed up," Mike agreed.

Jessica's big fat mouth dropped open. "What the hell?" she squealed, looking from me to Mike. "And since when do _you_ defend Crusty Cullen, Mike? Who was the one that came up with-"

"Shut the hell up, Jess!" Mike hissed quickly, making Jessica's eyes grow wide.

She huffed indignantly, glowering between Mike and me. I picked up my backpack and stood up, shaking my head vehemently.

"Jess," I closed my eyes tightly before opening them back up, "You and I…" I kept shaking my head, "I can't…I just can't be friends with you anymore."

Her mouth formed a huge 'O'. "What the hell, Bella?" she screamed.

I shook my head once more and walked off quickly, hoping to find Edward again before the bell for next class rang. But I wasn't able to find him. In fact, I didn't see him again for the rest of the day.

OOOOOOOOOO

My mind stayed on Edward for the rest of that afternoon, wondering why he'd run off so suddenly outside on the quad today, and why he'd skipped out on the rest of the day of school. Was something wrong? Was he sick? Concern gnawed away at me, but at the same time I felt…anxious, even…guilty, though I had no idea why. But Edward had been fine when I first sat down with him; he hadn't mentioned anything being wrong at home, or with his brother Emmett, who was off in college. Nor had he appeared sick or under the weather. He'd seemed his perfectly healthy, perfectly adorable self.

After dinner, I cleaned up the kitchen, did the dishes, and after checking on Charlie and making sure he was content with his game and a bottle of beer, I went up to my room and called Edward's house. We were friends, right? Friends could call friends just to say hello, just to make sure they were okay, that they weren't sick or something. His mom picked up, and after polite hellos and small talk, she said she'd get Edward for me. As she walked around the house, I could hear her steps through the phone, climbing upstairs to his room, I assumed. A small, bittersweet smile formed on my mouth when I heard the strings of guitar across the line. I could imagine his long, smooth fingers strumming expertly over his instrument. But as the sound got closer, I thought I detected a moody tone to this tune, an air of melancholy in the way he plucked at the strings.

"Edward honey, you have a phone call," I heard her announce, and I pictured her standing at his door. Then she whispered something, and though I couldn't hear what she'd said, I thought I heard my name in there.

The strumming stopped.

"I'm busy right now, mom."

I blinked, for a couple of seconds my mind a complete blank.

"Don't you want to speak to her?" Mrs. Cullen said. Well, she whisper-hissed, but I heard it.

"I said I'm busy." Unlike his mom, Edward's voice didn't go down one single octave. In fact, it seemed to rise higher; angrier.

And this time, unlike a few seconds ago, I did know what to think, what to _feel_ – pain…deep, aching pain. Edward didn't want to speak to me.

'_I said I'm busy.'_

Those were the last words I heard Edward Cullen speak, for six long years.

Muffled noises traveled over the airwaves, voices drowned and dulled by a receiver being covered. And then Mrs. Cullen came back on the line.

"Bella?"

"I'm here, Mrs. Cullen," I responded quietly.

"Yes, sorry, but Edward is kind of" – hesitancy – "busy at the moment. Would you like to call back?"

"No. Please just let him know I called," – I said in an empty voice while the corners of my eyes stung, "and that I'll see him in school tomorrow."

"Oh, sure. Okay. I'll let him know. Bye, Bella," she said anxiously, and then the echoing sound of a ring tone filled my ears. I hung up, but stood there, staring down at the phone, for a long time.

He completely avoided me after that.

In school, he said not one single word to me. In the classes we shared, he sat next to me and kept his head down, nostrils flaring, his square jaw clenched tight. He radiated anger and hostility. And it was all directed at me.

Why?

I tried to talk to him. I called him in the hallways, but he just sped up and kept walking without a glance in my direction. A couple of times in class, I tried to say something, but as soon as he'd realize I was about to speak he'd square his jaw and clench his fists over the table. His obvious fury scared me, leaving me speechless. Still, I looked for him at lunch time, but he was never around.

Mike showed up at my house the night of prom, that last weekend before the end of the school year, dressed in a dark tux. He had flowers, I think, but I can't be sure. I was too dazed and confused - my mind in chaos over Edward - to honestly remember.

His face fell when I opened the door in jeans and a black t-shirt, my feet in holey socks, my face gaunt and depressed.

"Bella, why aren't you ready?"

And then I realized, he'd _still_ been expecting me to go to prom with him, even though I hadn't hung with him, or Jess, or any of them all week.

"Mike," I whispered, "I thought you understood. I'm not going."

His eyes flashed again, the way I'd realized they tended to when he was upset but was trying to hide it.

"You fought with Jessica, not with me."

"But I don't…" I sighed, "I just don't want to be part of this…group anymore."

He stared at me wordlessly for a couple of minutes, his face blank and impassive.

"Bella," he finally said, his voice cool and composed, "I know you don't want to hang out with Jessica anymore, but like I told you, I need one more normal night, one night out with my friends, to take with me when I go off to college."

"Mike," I shook my head, "I-"

"Jessica's not here," he blurted quickly. "I gave them the Limo and brought my car." He moved aside so I could look outside past him. And sure enough, his car was there.

"Please," he continued, his eyes pleading, "Let's just go for an hour or so, make an appearance, and then I'll bring you right back home."

"Mike-" I said, my voice apologetic.

"_Please_, Bella," he begged. "I can't…I can't lose face like this. I can't _not_ show up at my own prom! And I _can't_ show up by myself, and it's too late to ask someone else. You _said_ you'd come. _Please_, just for an hour or so."

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, breathing in and out heavily. "I don't even own a dress, Mike," I muttered, my eyes still closed.

"Just come the way you are," he said, desperation etched in his voice. "I don't care, as long as you come."

I cursed myself internally. "Just for an hour?"

"Yes!" he agreed quickly. "Just for an hour. I promise!"

What followed was probably one of the worst ninety minutes of my life. We arrived at the school's gymnasium – which had been transformed for the night into a dance hall – with him in his tux and me in my best jeans and a button down lilac shirt. Mike had been quiet in the car, and I knew he was already upset at how the night had begun. I couldn't really say I blamed him. Maybe I should've made it clearer when I broke off my friendship with Jessica, that it also included my agreement to go to prom with him. But at the same time, I couldn't make myself care.

Edward wasn't speaking to me.

It was the only thought, the only preoccupation, the only truth that had consumed me for days now.

Though I looked horribly out of place, for the first few minutes of our arrival, Mike tried to be attentive to me - asking me if I wanted something to drink, if I wanted to dance, trying to gossip with me about the people present. But I was unable to give him any more than nods and shakes of the head, and honestly, more shakes of the head than nods. Finally, he seemed to give up, and when I next looked around the room, he was standing in a corner laughing and joking with his cronies Tyler and Eric while Jessica and her new best friend, Katie Marshall, stood off just a few feet from them, staring at the guys with open lust. I could tell they'd already gotten an early start to the fabled drunkenness that came with prom territory.

I wanted to leave.

I would leave.

Mike was entertained. I'd served my purpose. He hadn't had to walk in alone, and based on the looks Katie kept giving him, he wouldn't have to leave alone either if he didn't want to.

I slowly made my way towards the large double doors leading out of the gym, and then I spied Angela Weber, dancing slowly with a boy I recognized from a couple of my classes, Ben Cheney. He was a nice guy. Her eyes met mine as I walked past them towards the exit, and she smiled sweetly. I smiled back, and even though it was senseless considering Edward wasn't even speaking to me at this point, I felt a flood of relief again, that her interests apparently lay elsewhere. Still, as I wondered if she'd chosen Ben over Edward for tonight, I couldn't help feeling bad for Edward, if she'd been who _he_ really wanted - if _she_ was the reason he hadn't come to his own prom.

Mike never even called to make sure I got home safe that night.

As for Edward…

The last day of school, when the bell rang, I knew I'd run out of time. If I was ever going to find out why Edward had suddenly stopped speaking to me, it had to be now. I ran to his class, hoping to catch him, wanting to tell him so much if he'd finally let me.

And then I saw him. As I desperately made my way through the throng of students laughing and vibrating with excitement, congratulating themselves on another year over and done with and making plans for another summer of fun, I saw his beautifully wild head of bronze hair, his rigid shoulders, his quick and steady legs heading towards the doors, heading away from the small-minded students of Forks High School - heading away from _me_.

"Edward!" I called out, breathless from both my sprint to this corner of the building and the anxiety that had been churning in my chest for a week now. "Edward!"

I knew he heard me. I knew because for just a split second, his eager feet stilled, and he stopped in that hallway, his back to me. For one split second Edward stood there, tall, angry, and refusing to turn.

And then he ran.

I followed him until I reached the double doors and saw him fumble with his car keys as he turned on his ignition and fled away, tires screeching, black skid marks over the concrete.

Not one look back.

No good-bye.

I wasn't the princess. He wasn't the prince.

The fairy-tale would never happen.

And the world…it kept spinning.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hope you enjoyed the angst. Yes, I like angst. I like that sharp ache in my chest I get from reading about heartache, especially when I KNOW it's going to end well anyway. What can I say? I'm masochistic that way.**

**Would love to hear from you all…**


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